this is the thread where we talk breathlessly about the best TV show on North American television: THE AMAZING RACE!

- Adam (to Kris): "You in raging bitch mode is like her..." gestures at Rebecca "...on a good day". Cue hurt and bewildered look on Rebecca's face (and yet, stangely, no follow-up).

- Rebecca (rowing), to "formerly dating" teammate: "Nice long strokes, Adam" (Heh.)

- Racist Kendra, upon arriving at the 2,000 year-old Terracotta Army in Xi'an, China, an archaelogical wonder of the world: "Do we have to dig, honey?" (yeah, just like you had to tear down the fucking wall in Berlin, you twat.)

- Weird conversation about language differences between Kris and Jon: Kris decides that Chinese isn't Germanic, like English, and blurts:

"Babe, I love you"

Jon inexplicably says: "Can you please fetch me some water?"

(I fully accept that this entire exchange probably went right over my head, though.)

- The Official Ugly American Moment: Cabbie leads Aaron and Hayden far off the beaten track. They've had enough, and want to bail. Naturally, he still wants the fare. It looks like they refuse, and he hangs onto Aaron's pack as he tries to walk away. Cue Ugly American: "Touch me and I'll kick your ass!" Ha! Cut to Aaron floating face down in the Yangtze (a small part of this summary is an untruth).

- Rebecca, when confronted with an array of padlocks and only one key: "Very Zen, isn't it?" Followed quickly by: "Open! Open! Open!"

- Hayden has a weird breakdown and Aaron shrieks: "I hate China!!!" Heh.

- Kendra: "The Year 2". WTF?

- Rebecca: "He has three testicles!" Ha ha ha...

- Adam, in despair: "You're very mean. Do you understand the word mean? You are very cold."

- Kendra, after Freddy tried to get a cop to escort their cab to their destination: "Honey, it's not an EMERGENCY to a POLICE OFFICER!!!"

A: I don't eat tomatoes
R: I don't eat cheese
A: I don't eat tomatoes
R: I don't eat cheese

Wow, what a wild television ride. I hate that Kendra, the "Ghetto Africa" woman, won this thing, though.

They cut some of it .. I thought I heard her say take the train downtown to the Howard Train and take it to Chicago.. Which is also a bit wrong because does anything refer to the Red Line as the Howard Train anymore?

They're accepting applications for season 8 right now!

Oh drat, no Canadians allowed.

Jon inexplicably says: "Can you please fetch me some water?"

dude this was the funniest exchange of the whole episode! jon was talking about how abrupt chinese is, and from there they started saying random english phrases abruptly. they were schticking.

can you say 2-hour premiere 2nite? I CAN!

You will all bow to the awesomeness of Rob and Amber, who are vying with the gay boyfriends and the mother-gay son combo for the most entertaining team. The hillbillies and the blondes aren't far behind.

A few of the teams are able to speak Spanish.

I am very sad that the hillbillies lost out, partially because of the potential entertainment factor and partially because of how evilly ironic it would have been for the POW to get cut on the very first episode. I am also intrigued that the two biggest "stories" (in-vitro Enron casualty couple and "help the troops" ex-POW) are at the back of the pack; I wonder if the producers allowed for this possibility when casting the race?

Also, imagine a celebrity Amazing Race with the proceeds going to charity! It's too bad MTV can't swing the budget to do a RW/RR Amazing Race (although they kind of had a mini-version with Battle Of The Seasons).

I love those two girls that came in first! They spoke Spanish very well, and even when they got angry at each other, they were sweeties.

That dude Rob is an ASSHATFACEJERKWAD and I hope he loses and they let his girlfriend keep going. Say "suck it up" one more time dillhole!

But they're evil! They're all kissy-kissy when things are going well, and then when they were doing the llama they showed no team spirit when it actually mattered. I suspect they're sort of a Chuck & Buck-style couple.

REAPPLY ONE CARRYING STRAPPY DEALIE

Poor Bianca-and-Loveress are going to have difficulties when they hit a non-Spanish-speaking country.