start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

Still have not started. This is the most insane thing I've ever experienced with a rehearsal.

theater people make me irrationally angry tbh

ia at myself - painted my nails yesterday & already peeling / scratching off the polish today

this is why i cant have nice things. i am a child

ia at my mum who saw sinead o connor perform live & gave the mommingest review ever "i would have left if i could, she didnt talk to the audience once"

fffuuuu god forbid she not tell a long story about her childhood jeez

People at work here who think it's perfectly OK to pop out staples on the carpet and leave them there. It's not like anyone runs around barefoot here, but it's still dropping trash on the floor.

People at work here who think it's perfectly OK to pop out sausage rolls on the carpet and leave them there. It's not like anyone runs around barefoot here, but it's still dropping trash on the floor.

It's worse that it's 29c in here and the things are growing.

argh for some reason I have a completely irrationally excessive annoyance response to the sound of sniffing, like it completely derails my train of thought and puts me on edge waiting for the next one, and the guy who sits two feet behind me has been sniffing approx every 15 seconds for the past week and I am a) almost ready to kill someone b) not managing to get useful amounts of work done c) cranking up my headphones (which I think are frowned upon in the office anyway and I have to keep taking them out when people are talking) until my ears hurt but still I can hear the magic frequency which makes all my nerves jangle

(angsty parenthetical: there is something fucking wrong with me that I can't function when another human is back-to-back with me and I wish I could fix it but I don't know how. every little noise or just the feeling of having a human right behind me seems to jam some neurotic lever to the ON position all day.)

but anyway. RARRRR

My boss used to have this tic of making a weird water drop Bloop sound with his mouth whenever something was tight against deadline. I learned to ignore it, but recently, he developed this much more annoying sidewinding five-note whistle. And he does this tic much more frequently. He does it so much that sometimes I think I hear it even when he's gone home for the day.

Anyway. I've got a routine doctors appointment today, and I'm sitting here with a bunch of oldies in the blood draw clinic. That fuckin whistle shoots out of some old lady's purse, and for the first time I realize, it's not an annoying tic my boss makes, but some stupid ass ringtone of some sort.

I've probably posted about it but there was this whistle thing that's apparently a default samsung ringtone and I somehow never encounter it in my normal life, but if I am traveling in airports it is EVERYWHERE and it took me a long time to figure out wtf it was

aps, I have a huge problem with head/mouth noises generally and sniffing specifically, especially if it's rhythmic or repetitive. Like, whatever else I'm doing doesn't matter and I might as well be standing inside a giant nose. Repetitive throat clearing also drives me nuts.

I can handle being back to back with someone, although it is not how I would prefer to sit, but I can totally empathize with how that would make you crazy. I have a problem with people standing directly behind me, especially if they direct their voice towards the back of my head. Like turn around and punch first, ask questions later problem.

My boss used to have this tic of making a weird water drop Bloop sound with his mouth whenever something was tight against deadline.

irl lol
this discussion contains quality minutiae

Like, whatever else I'm doing doesn't matter and I might as well be standing inside a giant nose.

I think it is a samsung whistle. Can't find it on the ipad.

I can't stand people standing right behind me either. Even well-intentioned coworkers who drop by, see my monitor, and go "yeah, that was some plane crash, wasn't it? Hey, let me ask you about..."

Co-worker of mine does that all the time, except he sneaks up behind me, then puts his face right next to mine while staring into my monitor.

I would involuntarily harm that person. I'm jumpy and easily startled as it is, but holy geez if someone did that to me I seriously think I would elbow him in the face before my executive functioning could kick in and override my lizard brain.

Jeff has so far managed to escape serious harm but I have called him terrible names at the height of my terror if he has the misfortune to walk too softly into a room and fail to announce himself. Once I was rocking the baby back to sleep late at night and he got up and stood in the doorway of her room to check on us, and all I saw was this dark shape looming in the door and there was a lot of shrieking.

A former boss used to help employees w/ computer stuff by leaning over and putting his arms around us to use the keyboard. Fucking awful enough even if his breath hadn't smelled like actual feces.

UGH NO gross where was that? That's terrible.

My personal biology and sinuses and whatever I got going on is kinda messed up, so I have always had to do that throat-clearing thing, particularly when I change atmospheres (for instance entering a building with AC) and it has definitely caused problems for me. I wish to hell I didn't do it but it's some kind of unconscious thing I can't control.

UGH NO gross where was that? That's terrible.

My sexual harassment flower shop job. His keyboard embrace wasn't (only) for sexual harassment though - he did it to every employee who needed help.

My dearly beloved has chronic sinus problems so I am legit sympathetic and I've worked really hard on being better about it but maybe I have repressed memories of being beaten by somebody with a bad cold because it still drives me nuts on like a primal level. xp

A bit shaken up by a sewing machine needle hitting me rather too close to my eye yesterday. Just bounced off the bottom of my eye socket/top of my cheek. Came pretty unexpectedly since i was just going through fabric on a shirt whose cuff I was doing.
Glad it didn't get any closer to my eye or the lens of my glasses which it might have shattered.
Needle snapped and sent this shard flying. Seemed to be a couple of cm away from something that would have caused some nastiness.

Also annoyed at myself for not getting more familiar with the overlocker during the course I was doing the shirt for since I might have been able to rethread the thing and get the garment closer to finishing. Would love one of those machines.

I would involuntarily harm that person. I'm jumpy and easily startled as it is, but holy geez if someone did that to me I seriously think I would elbow him in the face before my executive functioning could kick in and override my lizard brain.

― from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, March 26, 2015 11:16 AM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I've never hit anyone, but I nearly reflexively punched him in the face the other day.

I sat behind someone testing our software on those Samsung phones and that whistle would go off 100 times a day. Didn't seem to bother him enough to mute the fucking thing.

The doc I work with has the footfall of a stealthy jungle cat. He's lucky I don't carry a knife.

lol at "standing inside a giant nose". YES working inside a nose is just not how I envisaged my career, you know?

Nose/squelchy mouth noises are the worst but really I am just terrible at noises in general (I was already annoyed by him humming and commenting on his email), horribly easily distracted (oh a shiny thing, hmm, think I'll read websites for 2 hours), and put on edge by the feeling that someone's looking over my shoulder, which having someone right behind me sets off even if I know they are almost certainly not looking or giving a fuck.

Glad you're OK, Stevo!

Thanks

It's the "eye of the needle," not the other way around.

My boss used to have this tic of making a weird water drop Bloop sound with his mouth whenever something was tight against deadline.

OMG one of my workmates does this! It drives me insane and I dont even sit that near him.

I am also driven ballistic by sniffing.

Or wait... is it that the bloop noise is also an Android SMS sound? Because if so aaaaaaaaaaartghh

this is the ringtone:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5h411OcttA

My boss' bloop sound was/is completely organic.

I hope you guys never have to hang around me for an extended amount of time, you'll probably kill me.

that is most definitely the samsung tone that haunted me

people who have their ringtones cranked up at work, especially if they get calls 12 times an hour, are disgusting savages

some dude left his phone at his desk overnight (screenlocked) and his alarm blasted from 7am until 10am when he started his shift.

I don't understand the need to have sounds turned on the phone at all, outside of specific situations where you are expecting an important call that you are worried you might miss. Put it on vibrate, man. Nobody wants to hear the sound of submarine sonar every time you get a text.

my phone is on silent 90% of the day! if I'm at home and it's not in my pocket I turn the ringer on, or if I'm working outside. like why... does your phone need to make noise

ia at my mum who saw sinead o connor perform live & gave the mommingest review ever "i would have left if i could, she didnt talk to the audience once"

Ohhhh, man, not the same thing but this reminds me of when I recently saw Cat Power. She was technically opening for Rufus Wainwright (who, as I've discovered, has a fairly sizeable middle-aged lady following, including my gf's mom) but she arrived late and wound up playing after him. And this group of women in the front row talked shit about Cat Power through most of her set. Not exactly loudly but loud enough for us to hear them several rows back, so I'm sure she could certainly hear them over a piano from <10 feet away. "This is so depressing." "She's just playing the same thing over and over." Mortifying.

Tbh I'd probably be saying exactly the same thing, plus my irritation that I arrived late on purpose and still didn't manage to miss her.

not audibly during the performance, I hope!

Listen with the kind of day I've had I'm not ruling anything out.

IA at supermarkets that sell chunks of ginger root in a cellophane packet for 90p instead of selling it loose so you can break off a chunk for 16p.
Ditto 3 onions in a net for 1.10 or two Courgettes for 2 quid but for some reason the gunner bugs me the most.

Because you'll never use that much ginger before it goes bad. You want to make a stir fry, not open an Asian fusion restaurant.

I feel the same way about cilantro which always comes in massive bundles.

use all the cilantro, ignore the instructions

Step 1: Buy the entire bushel of cilantro that comes wire twistie-tied together.

Step 2: Put all the cilantro in the garbage, tie bag, remove from house immediately.

give all cilantro to mh, keep it away from in orbit

use all the cilantro, ignore the instructions

This just made me think of a burrito containing nothing but cilantro, like a Vietnamese spring roll except a burrito and hold the lettuce, noodles, meat, and sprouts and sub cilantro. Now I am sad and disgusted.

that might be almost too much cilantro, unless it's a thick tortilla.

Since I got anosmia in 2010 I haven't been able to taste cilantro :(
My sense of smell has come back partially (with major "perversions") but cilantro still doesn't taste like delicious soap.

I created a massive list of UK-US English translations for a work thing - possibly the most comprehensive list that exists anywhere - and the last-discovered major omission was cilantro.