Star Wars 7 shit talk

he hasn't been seen (apart from a hand maybe) in any of the marketing material so far

ANOTHER Death Star?! O_o

Still... Chewie taking aim looks rad :)

I especially like how you have to think for a minute about where Chewbacca's right arm ends and Leia's hairdo begins. Like what they're going for with
Rey's staff and Kylo Ren's saber, but hair

trailer for the trailer

https://twitter.com/DisneyStudiosCA/status/655806407648800768

Interesting to me that, in the material we've seen so far in trailers, we've seen a desert planet, some kind of snowy/icy environment, and some kind of jungle/forest environment. All the primary planets from the OT. Gotta imagine that's purposeful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxU2eqZtYmc

I'd suspect everything about shooting a kwazillion dollar franchise meso-reboot is pretty purposeful

I'm pissed that the new-trailer teaser trailer doubles as an ad to make people watch fucking Monday Night Football.

oh yeah and the stanza rhyming bit. I read about that earlier on some other site for nerds

will the new movies ever feature people eating food or visiting a WC?

btw the poetry quote comes from the official making-of documentary. it's amazing that they released it -- it is on the level of some kind of monster in terms of the filmmakers getting away with shit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=da8s9m4zEpo

Yeah the prequel trilogy was almost worth it for giving us that and the RLM reviews.

does that new death star have eyelashes

the sassy star

starfleeker

wtf ANOTHER DEATH STAR????

You know, the dark gritty reboot.

(Hey I titled this thread for a reason.)

Maybe they will get Bill Murray for the Christmas special this time.

it's a pokeball. the force awakens is a stealth pokemon crossover.

dying at "starfleeker"

xp chewbacca revealed as a bidoof

cannot believe tickets are going on sale NOW; star wars is going to be a completely inescapable and utterly engineered phenomenon of daily life (moreso) for the next few years huh

its so weird that Star Wars was just a stupid nonsensical film student b-movie and now it this monolithic eternal cash cow

i just hope it gives Mel Brooks some good material to work with

a stupid nonsensical film student b-movie

The original Star Wars film got a Time magazine cover and big write up before it was even released, so even though it mimicked many b-movie conventions, it was never a b-movie.

via ned:

http://i.imgur.com/h8WQhMn.jpg

can't wait for the reveal that Jar Jar came out of the woodwork sometime after Endor, realizing the son of his bestest bombad friend is alive, and he's been holed up with Luke somewhere in the Outer Rim cooking up a plan

I can't wait until Jar Jar steps out of the shadows behind Kylo Ren and ignites his FOUR BLADED LIGHTSABER after saying "MEESA SECRET EMPERORER ALL ALONGS"

i would put the odds of jar jar or a jar jar alike being sarcastically killed in the background of one of these movies at about 3 to 1

normally i oppose such things but it might be good to have a really long torture scene

or maybe just 15+ dense paragraphs of text flying through space describing the torture at the very beginning

Fanfare, chapter VII crawl, slow pan across an alien world stopping on a full-frame close-up of Jar Jar, who just stares into the camera and wordlessly mugs for five minutes or so.

I'm not sure there's a dollar amount I wouldn't pay Abrams to make this happen.

does anyone think they'll do away with the intro template/music/incredibly slow crawling text with this one? i know it produces warm nostalgic feelings but it's also kind of cheesy to keep going back to it

what if the Emperor was using his proximity to Jar Jar to mold his mind for consciousness transfer, and after his death, he fully took over the Gungan? game changer

there is 0% chance there will not be a text crawl

it'll be something like:
- such-and-such years have passed since the rebellion's victory on Endor
- the New Republic believes the Imperial remnants to be fractured and defeated
- there's actually been a consolidation of Imperial power in the First Order, they're hiding out in the Queluhan Nebula (maybe not mentioned by name) and have strong leadership
- something something dark side

xxpost Cheesy or not, the only reason I can imagine them abandoning any of the standard Star Wars movie intro stuff is rights issues (although I think I read something about Disney possibly trying to even secure the 20th Century Fox intro??).

Star Wars, cheesy? Never!

(they have the anthology movies to fuck with the formula a bit)

"Vendortainment" is a good name for what this and the genre stuff covered by ComiCon

....has become.

good options:
1) the whole movie is just a text scroll
2) halfway through the scroll, there's a needle-scratching-the-record noise and a bunch of jawas wobble through the frame, movie starts
3) text scroll says, in its entirety, "awwwwwwwww YEAH STAR WARS BITCH"

they recycled some bit of john williams fanfare to replace the 20th century fox intro

maybe the text scroll will inexorably crush jar jar to death

i'm counting on jj abrams to do something lame but i guess at least SW isn't sharing the same universe with earth so there won't be scenes of drunk han in a bar listening to beastie boys

or whatever the hell happened in chris pine star trek

there's a character called Ello Atsy

no joke

http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/bloodbrothersgame/images/6/69/Facepalm_Emoji.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20131118191429

Again, I don't know how much money I'd pay Abrams to drop a Beastie Boys song into the new Star Wars movie, but it's a lot of money.

OH: an extended Jar Jar dance number set to a Beastie Boys song. Please. Please.

The chances that the name "Ello Asty" is going to be spoken on-screen are approximately one in a kazillion.

Many/most of the names we "know" for characters in the OT were never spoken on screen.