Star Wars 7 shit talk

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I've seen Star Wars and Empire fairly recently (within the last three years), but I honestly can't remember when I last watched Jedi. I'll probably need to brush up before the new one. Maybe what you say is true and Ewoks aren't as bad as I remember.

Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 14:59 (eight years ago) link

mh i don't know if you're like me and have to ruin things for yrself but have you seen that long theory that basically synthesizes all the rumours and spoilers into one plot outline. cuz it read pretty plausible in general to me (and these things definitely get out - i can remember reading something similar for phantom menace that was pretty dead on enough that i could warn ppl about jar jar and let them know that darth maul was barely in the movie), and nothing i've seen so far negates anything in it.

xp jedis as monks was so how i basically saw them as a kid and so much better than the prequels jedis as cia

balls, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:00 (eight years ago) link

very impressed with mh's scholarly contributions here, kiu

ogmor, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:00 (eight years ago) link

Love Han Solo going from "ancient weapons and hokey religions" to "the dark side, the Jedi, it's all true."

this was disorienting

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:00 (eight years ago) link

somewhat tempted to get a ticket to the marathon and then just skip the prequels

balls, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:01 (eight years ago) link

The Ewoks are awesome. The Luke/Leia "my sister has it" scene though...

how's life, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:01 (eight years ago) link

Jedi = Hollywood monks who blow up shit!

The Luke/Leia "my sister has it" scene though...

The Force is the new herpes.

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:02 (eight years ago) link

*crying tears of joy* you guys star wars is so stupid, this is going to be so bad

goole, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:07 (eight years ago) link

han would have to be a legit cretin if he was still totally sceptical about the force despite hanging out w/ masters for years

ogmor, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:08 (eight years ago) link

How much time did the original trilogy cover? Because it's that + 30 years.

Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:10 (eight years ago) link

original films take place over the course of about five years, I think

μpright mammal (mh), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:16 (eight years ago) link

the time span between SW and TESB is the oddest. Suddenly Solo's a general. I think the novels published since then have said as much as five to eight years?

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:17 (eight years ago) link

fwiw I don't really care about guessing the last couple acts of the new film, I am sure someone has sussed out some details about the twists, but honestly with so many people coming up with fan theories, at least one has to be close

μpright mammal (mh), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:18 (eight years ago) link

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Timeline_of_canon_media

this is some new numbering that starts with Episode I, but it looks like Episode IV takes place 32 years in, and Empire is 35, so about three years

the rebels had a pretty small force at the beginning and saw a lot of action, and I'm not sure if it's canon anymore, but Han had military training before he bailed out to be a smuggler, so it's a stretch but not implausible

μpright mammal (mh), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:20 (eight years ago) link

One thing I do love in the new trailers is the use of the Falcon. One of the exciting things about the possibilities of space flight/combat is that you don't really have the same kind of directional/gravitational limits, all planes are equally open. Yet most space flight/combat is not filmed with this in mind. Something about the Falcon's shape makes it particularly fun to watch swooping around in all directions, making loops, etc., like it doesn't LOOK like something that was designed with any nods to the principles of flight within gravity. Of course the Falcon is also doing some of that swooping around within gravity, so I guess I'm just saying I like watching the falcon fly around.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:22 (eight years ago) link

judging by the large mane of dark hair this Kylo Ren has, I can only assume he's the son of Leia and Chewbacca

μpright mammal (mh), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:23 (eight years ago) link

kylo ren Halloween costumes already on sale btw. First time you'll be able to dress as a character from a movie that's not out yet?

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:27 (eight years ago) link

how is time measured in the star wars universe anyway

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:28 (eight years ago) link

in parsnips

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:29 (eight years ago) link

The Galactic Standard Calendar was the standard measurement of time in the galaxy. It centered around the Coruscant solar cycle. The Coruscant solar cycle was 368 days long with a day consisting of 24 standard hours.

so uhh basically earth years

μpright mammal (mh), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:29 (eight years ago) link

they even fudge the physics of faster-than-light travel. somehow there's a device that keeps time on ships synchronized with the world outside

I don't want to know if anyone has written a goofy "physics of Star Wars" book, but the full text would probably be something to the effect of "we're telling a story here, ok?"

μpright mammal (mh), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:37 (eight years ago) link

It's set in a fictional universe where physics operate entirely differently. SW has never claimed to be hard sci-fi.

the joke should be over once the kid is eaten. (chap), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:39 (eight years ago) link

I was just curious about something I was sure some nerd came up with an answer for, not really concerned about scientific versimilitude or anything

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:41 (eight years ago) link

but if star wars isn't real then all the organizing principles of my life are wrong

1999 ball boy (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:43 (eight years ago) link

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
(does this mean yes?)

1999 ball boy (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:44 (eight years ago) link

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 15:46 (eight years ago) link

adopt a strong principle of disorganization

μpright mammal (mh), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 16:43 (eight years ago) link

mh analysis a+, nice one

I also am interested in the voice talking to Ren at the beginning and end "Who are you?" "The force, it's calling to you. Just let it in." Do we know who that voice is?

I'm exciting by the possibility of these characters (Ren, Boyega) having that Skywalker discovery of something bigger than themselves, journeys to find a purpose etc. The characters were the heart of the original trilogy, and the suggestion that we may get back to some of that kind of storytelling feels good

Han's "it's real" makes me so teary, I love it.

I am excited, hopeful...I feel all the good feelings about this so far

Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 16:58 (eight years ago) link

Shot-by-shot breakdown for us obsessives: http://io9.com/heres-a-shot-by-shot-breakdown-of-all-the-goodies-in-th-1737486310

Resting Bushface (Phil D.), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 16:59 (eight years ago) link

1:1 we get a re-reprise of "I love you" "I know"

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 16:59 (eight years ago) link

The characters were the heart of the original trilogy,

they were?

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 17:00 (eight years ago) link

this is news to me

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 17:00 (eight years ago) link

I also am interested in the voice talking to Ren at the beginning and end "Who are you?" "The force, it's calling to you. Just let it in." Do we know who that voice is?

Think that's Lupita N'yongo.

how's life, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 17:01 (eight years ago) link

xpost ok cool shakey you tell me your version

Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 17:05 (eight years ago) link

just planting the seeds for the inevitable crossover
you laugh, but we'll see it in our lifetime

a llove spat over a llama-keeper (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 17:11 (eight years ago) link

xpost ok cool shakey you tell me your version

if anything it's good design that drives the original trilogy. The characters and their arcs are barely there at all (which is not to say that Hamill, Ford and Fisher don't try their best with the clunky dialogue and limited interactions they're given to work with)

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 17:12 (eight years ago) link

I'm not a sci-fi nerd and even I know that Star Wars takes place in the past relative to human existence and Star Trek takes place in the future. I guess they've already fuxxed with time travel, though.

Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 17:12 (eight years ago) link

having recently watched Fury Road it kind of reminded me of Star Wars in terms of how much information can be conveyed and how much audience engagement can be generated solely by good art direction/costuming/character design/set design etc. Fury Road is better with the constant forward-motion action sequences but there's def a bit of that in play in the original SW trilogy as well. Characters are like third down the list of things that work in those movies, imo.

xp

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 17:15 (eight years ago) link

i wonder if Ford did a *callback* on-set w/ "You can write this shit JJ, but you sure can't say it"

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 17:18 (eight years ago) link

man i forget how pedantic these conversations get

Luke's journey, his relationship to Vader, to Obi Wan, his relationship Leia, Leia's relationship to Han, were what the story is about. However poorly realized that story/those characters may be to you, ok fine, whatever... but it's not a newsflash

Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 17:20 (eight years ago) link

I'm not a sci-fi nerd and even I know that Star Wars takes place in the past relative to human existence and Star Trek takes place in the future.

It happened a long time ago relative to when the story of Star Wars is being told. The Magical Storytelling Crawl could still exist in our far future.

Don't Call Me A Lunkhead, You Dingbat! (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 17:20 (eight years ago) link

imo the trek/wars xover happens in a few decades when the multiplexes finally sag under their own weight and both franchises have been wrung nearly dry of goodwill
sort of a last play to get the kind of insane press and rabid TAKE MY MONEY ticketsales

a llove spat over a llama-keeper (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 17:32 (eight years ago) link

star trek has imo been wrung dry at this point bc tbh abrams fucked them up. i suspect he'll do a better job here, iirc he's on record saying he's not a trek fan at all but is a star wars obsessive.

nomar, Tuesday, 20 October 2015 17:48 (eight years ago) link

Can't wait to see Luke get frozen in carbonite and Han get his hand cut off.

Don't Call Me A Lunkhead, You Dingbat! (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 17:50 (eight years ago) link

The other extended, canon universe thing that comes to mind is that there are a number of non-Jedi, non-Sith groups who had some capability with the force. Vader fan crew might think they're Sith or something, but they could just be weirdo Vader-worshiping acolytes.

The other thing that seems to be stressed is that the force likes balance. The book that kind of covers the rise of Palpatine luckily only briefly touched on the biology (not going to type that m-word) of force sensitives, but he and his master had this plan where they meditated for years to somehow push the balance of the force to the dark side. Then Palpy was going to be the figurehead and run the republic while his master held the real dark side power or w/e. Some time after Anakin is born, they realize his birth lines up with the time they were doing their meditation and realize that they missed something.

Of course, then Palpatine slaughters his master shortly after, and the dude they were training as a secret assassin (who wasn't master or apprentice, but just their pawn) steps in as Darth Maul, and then the prequel mess happened.

So if Luke has been in exile and the dark side is rising, then something is going to break

μpright mammal (mh), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 18:06 (eight years ago) link

just rlly looking fwd to Triumph the Insult Comic Dog working the line

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 20 October 2015 18:07 (eight years ago) link


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