Star Wars 7 shit talk

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final frontier is shorter than any of the prequels, i'll give it that. and there are maybe two or three minutes scattered around where it seems like there might be something interesting in play in a hard sci-fi "asks the big questions" way as in prometheus. IIRC that's all immediately discarded for a really stupid mind-control story or something and then a big head throws rocks at them but again, only 106 minutes. i haven't seen it since i was a kid, which is also very much in its favor - the oppressive familiarity of the prequels from endless TV airings, always on in the background somewhere, ALWAYS on when i'm home at christmas, has made me basically loathe every single frame of footage.

Gorefest Frump (Doctor Casino), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 13:57 (nine years ago) link

i went to see a marathon of all five star trek movies at my local cinema when V came out. boy, that day came to a bleak end.

please don't shampoo your eyes (stevie), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 15:48 (nine years ago) link

i read that as "all five shrek movies" and had a vision of living hell

1999 ball boy (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 15:57 (nine years ago) link

Star Trek achieved its ideal form first, as an hourlong TV series; II and VI are the only films i can see rewatching in the future.

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 15:57 (nine years ago) link

VI or IV?

please don't shampoo your eyes (stevie), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 16:03 (nine years ago) link

I don't think I've seen any of the Next Generation movies, nor the last two with the original cast. Maybe I should do that?

JacobSanders, Wednesday, 21 October 2015 16:06 (nine years ago) link

six! st IV too sitcommy.

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 16:09 (nine years ago) link

first contact is by far the best next gen trek movie, better than all the OG cast flicks except II and IV imo

nomar, Wednesday, 21 October 2015 16:11 (nine years ago) link

Maybe see First Contact. It's mediocre, but definitely has more going on than the other three Next Gens.

jmm, Wednesday, 21 October 2015 16:13 (nine years ago) link

Star Trek: Insurrection is one of the worst movies I have seen in a theater, ever

μpright mammal (mh), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 16:13 (nine years ago) link

I remember VI being pretty satisfying except for the ghastly stuff with Kirk and the shapeshifter on the prison planet. I think IV's a more fun movie in that 80s comedy way but VI is the best besides II at doing what you'd want Star Trek to do: sorta slow and talky, diplomatic intrigues and a murder mystery in space... but with real money put into the space battle effects and another outsized scenery-chewing villain. The end-of-the-Cold-War theming is also nicely done... much better than, say, Goldeneye at teasing the "have I become a dinosaur, nursing old wounds and fighting yesterday's battles?" thing. Would have been a totally fine sendoff for the whole shebang, Generations being wretched and none of the all-TNG movies being quite good enough to justify the effort (with Insurrection actually worse than Final Frontier by any reasonable standard).

The Motion Picture is also good but I'd recommend it more to fans of slow 70s sci-fi like Silent Running or The Andromeda Strain than fans of Trek.

Gorefest Frump (Doctor Casino), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 16:14 (nine years ago) link

The Motion Picture is beautiful to look at, but offers little else, imo.

please don't shampoo your eyes (stevie), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 16:15 (nine years ago) link

I'd rank the ones I've seen khan>voyage home>undiscovered country (this one is better than first contact too actually>first contact>sttmp>search for spock>>>>final frontier and the rest

nomar, Wednesday, 21 October 2015 16:16 (nine years ago) link

the motion picture is a '70s scifi flick in both the best and worst senses. really amazing production design for sure.

nomar, Wednesday, 21 October 2015 16:18 (nine years ago) link

Morbz otm that II and VI are the best ST pics (IV is enjoyable but it is slight). III is okay, V is obviously straight garbage. I is an interesting failure, kinda want to see it on the big screen cuz it's all visuals and nothing but.

I don't rate Empire over Khan tho, as dlh says - Khan has people in it. Empire has action figures.

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 21 October 2015 16:40 (nine years ago) link

(Meanwhile, Shakey steeples his finger, pleased with what this thread has wrought)

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 21 October 2015 16:41 (nine years ago) link

Khan's a cyborg though

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 16:42 (nine years ago) link

xxposts ehhh different strokes. i like ebert on this point:

The film was made in 1980 with full knowledge that ``Star Wars'' had become the most successful movie of all time. If corners were cut in the first film's budget, no cost was spared in this one: It is a visual extravaganza from beginning to end, one of the most visionary and inventive of all films. (...) There is a generosity in the production design of ``The Empire Strikes Back.'' There are not only the amazing sights there before us, but plenty more in the corners of the screen, or everywhere the camera turns. (...)

In the glory days of science fiction, critics wrote about the ``sense of wonder.'' That's what ``The Empire Strikes Back'' creates in us. Like a lot of traditional science fiction, it isn't psychologically complex or even very interested in personalities (aside from some obvious character traits). That's because the characters are not themselves--they are us. We are looking out through their eyes, instead of into them, as we would in more serious drama. We are on a quest, on a journey, on a mythological expedition. The story elements in the ``Star Wars'' trilogy are as deep and universal as storytelling itself. Watching these movies, we're in a receptive state like that of a child--our eyes and ears are open, we're paying attention, and we are amazed.

Gorefest Frump (Doctor Casino), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 16:42 (nine years ago) link

creepiest Montalban line reading: "buried allliiive"

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 16:43 (nine years ago) link

Kinda hoping that for any scene with both Oscar Isaac and Adam Driver, John Williams throws in a few bars of "Please, Mr. Kennedy."

Resting Bushface (Phil D.), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 17:01 (nine years ago) link

haha yes

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 21 October 2015 17:03 (nine years ago) link

I had no idea Oscar Isaac was in this, that's weird

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 21 October 2015 17:03 (nine years ago) link

he's in that new trailer twice!

μpright mammal (mh), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 17:05 (nine years ago) link

there's a new trailer?

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 21 October 2015 17:06 (nine years ago) link

I feel like this is probably not an original statement, but a lot of what I love about Star Wars is just its success at hinting at a much larger and very real universe (or galaxy or w/e) of which the movies only scratch the surface. I think I find all the novels and encyclopediae and the like not only boring, but something I don't even want to touch, because I prefer retaining that sense of peering in and only getting a glimpse of the vastness. The cantina bar scene is a great example -- who the fuck are all these creatures? It doesn't really matter, yet they are all there, obviously from all different species and possibly planets, all part of some sort of seedy element -- smugglers, bounty hunters, maybe drug dealers, who knows? It's not interesting to me at all to find out, it's just interesting to me the way the scene creates an excellent illusion with limited resources.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 17:10 (nine years ago) link

yup

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 21 October 2015 17:11 (nine years ago) link

Ep V, we're suddenly on Hoth. What the fuck is Hoth? Where is it? Childhood me wonders. But it doesn't matter that much, it's a harsh, frozen place and presumably a good location for a rebel base for that reason. But at the same time, it's not just a set, it has its own animal life. Does that animal life really help advance the plot? Not exactly, it's only good for a couple of meh sub-episodes, but it helps flesh out Hoth as a place that feels real.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 17:14 (nine years ago) link

Lucas was just working through the seasons. Summer was covered with Tattooine, winter on Hoth, spring on Endor. Much of the action on The Force Awakens will take place on the leafy planet of Foliagea.

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 17:31 (nine years ago) link

Judging from the trailer, we're getting all three seasons in one film. Desert, snow, lakeside greenery

Purves Grundy (kingfish), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 22:37 (nine years ago) link

They released a music-only edit of the trailer and it might actually be better than the one we saw Monday...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ci0C8ggQWys

Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 22:45 (nine years ago) link

Something that always irked me was ... well, a couple of things. With a few exceptions, there seemed to be just one of every creature - one wookie, one greedo, one whatever. Stuff like Jawas excepted. And then also the specificity of some of the tech, like the AT-AT's, which seem like they were designed for Hoth and nothing else. Minor quibbles, obviously, compared to major quibbles.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 21 October 2015 22:53 (nine years ago) link

There was a Greedo(Rodian) in Jabba's palace

Purves Grundy (kingfish), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 23:06 (nine years ago) link

seem like they were designed for Hoth and nothing else.

well it is an entire PLANET...

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 23:10 (nine years ago) link

There are AT-ATs on Endor, they showed one in a zoomed-out view of the base

μpright mammal (mh), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 23:11 (nine years ago) link

One wookiee? Someone forgot the holiday special!

Not to mention that scene shoehorned into the prequels where Yoda is surrounded by them and shouts out Chewbacca

Several Twi'lek in Jabba's palace

μpright mammal (mh), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 23:12 (nine years ago) link

"these chainsaws and french fries and haikus and umbrellas... they seem like they were designed just for Earth and nowhere else"

but yeah the species do mix it up quite a bit, you don't get big hordes of wookies taunting hordes of humans etc (that we ever see, at least)

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 23:13 (nine years ago) link

that said we are pretty much always in a non-family type environment - backwater trading outpost canteens, forward operating bases, etc - so it makes sense that we don't see what are the usual larger species groupings of these dudes

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 23:15 (nine years ago) link

lol yes

and Endor of course!

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 23:16 (nine years ago) link

It's like going to a popular bar in a port of trade and wondering why there's one dude there from Brazil, one from China, and a bunch of locals.

μpright mammal (mh), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 23:21 (nine years ago) link

and in ESB there's the briefest of glimpses of the AT-ST fighter that'll play a big part in the Endor battle.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 23:25 (nine years ago) link

I feel like this is probably not an original statement, but a lot of what I love about Star Wars is just its success at hinting at a much larger and very real universe (or galaxy or w/e) of which the movies only scratch the surface

Also not a very original observation, but this is one reason why the prequels sucked: in this allegedly vast and real universe the same 5 characters keep meeting up/being involved in everything important that happens; it makes the original films' rich texture feel very thin

as verbose and purple as a Peter Ustinov made of plums (James Morrison), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 23:33 (nine years ago) link

when the bounty hunter in ROTJ turns out to be leia it's that hinted limitlessness that makes the reveal feel like such a miracle - like, out of all the bounty hunters in all the crappy gin joints in all the universe somehow leia has wound up here?? impossible

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 23:37 (nine years ago) link

have disliked star wars since age 4

it's not a tuomas (benbbag), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 23:37 (nine years ago) link

So you've hated it for 2 whole years?!?

as verbose and purple as a Peter Ustinov made of plums (James Morrison), Wednesday, 21 October 2015 23:41 (nine years ago) link

Not enough references in SW to the demographic trends leading to rebel support in outer rim planets for gabbneb.

One bad call from barely losing to (Alex in SF), Thursday, 22 October 2015 00:26 (nine years ago) link

You should go harder on the German angle

it's not a tuomas (benbbag), Thursday, 22 October 2015 00:26 (nine years ago) link

He says, after soaking his extremities in ice water for no less than five minutes, followed by a generous treatment of aloe and petroleum jelly, and then taking the better part of an hour typing out 39 characters with digits covered in gauze

BRAAAAAAMETHEUS (El Tomboto), Thursday, 22 October 2015 00:38 (nine years ago) link

have disliked star wars since age 4

― it's not a tuomas (benbbag), Thursday, October 22, 2015 12:37 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You have trolled us for the last time, GABBNEB!

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Thursday, 22 October 2015 00:45 (nine years ago) link


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