Star Wars 7 shit talk

Star Wars names have always been stupid though. Like wtf is a Chewbacca.

Without ridiculous names for characters that have less than a minute's screen time, we would have no Lobot.

Binks is a real last name though, that's the thing. It's not stupid at all. It's totally normal.

Lando Rabinowicz

I can't remember the name of the site now, but there was one prior to Episode I that was a repository for leaks and which, via set reports and photo leaks, had essentially the entire story published and illustrated prior to the movie opening.

Luke Skywalkerdopolous

The entire story was published in hardback weeks before the movie came out!

http://www.liswiki.com/library/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/star-wars-i-phantom-menace.jpg

"This novelization, unlike those from the original trilogy, contains much that is not in the movie. It includes three entire chapters of material created by Terry Brooks and unique to the novel. The first two chapters of the book concern Anakin's next-to-last podrace and its aftermath, while a later chapter describes an encounter between Anakin and a wounded Tusken Raider in the desert."

It also contains the fact that George Lucas is terrible the Rodian that Anakin plays with as a kid is actually Greedo.

Binks is a real last name though, that's the thing. It's not stupid at all. It's totally normal.

― how's life, Thursday, October 22, 2015 8:59 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

See, e.g., this exchange I had on Twitter:

http://i.imgur.com/wLdvNtj.jpg

The first two chapters of the book concern Anakin's next-to-last podrace and its aftermath

yeah, if there was one thing the phantom menace needed it was more fucking podracing, good job terry brooks

I always liked the fact that the South Park guys saw Jar Jar in the first Ep I trailer, said "oh people are going to _hate_ that thing," and put him(or a soldier mouthing his line) into the South Park movie which got released months before EP I.

hate to nitpick, but EP 1 came out first

kind of insane we learned absolutely nothing about the sith in the prequel trilogy.

we learned about darth plagueis and his obsession with manipulating midiclorians in order to save the ones he loved from dying

And that always two there are, a master and an apprentice. And that they and only they deal in absolutes.

We learn nothing that doesn't immediately pertain to the plot device at hand.

Did the Sith have a Hogwarts of their own where they schooled the younglings in the ways of the dark side?

charter schools subsidized by Republic taxpayers iirc

Yes! http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Sith_Academy_(Korriban)

Sign of a life wasted not playing KoTOR.

Midichlorians? In my youngling?

Shit, I thought the South Park movie came out first. 1999 was a blur of university and college radio and hype for me.

We learn nothing that doesn't immediately pertain to the plot device at hand.

not to overly defend the prequels cuz they really do suck, but the seed that sidious plants in anakin with the plagueis story ultimately leads him into turning to the dark side

they don't even know how to tell the story they are telling, it's an impressively layered kind of frustrating badness

Darth Vader couldn't find anyone who wanted to be his apprentice at Sith Academy so he roamed half the galaxy just to see if Luke would do it

Midichlorians? In my youngling?

― I Was Picking Up A Teaspoon When Something Happened To My Spine (Old Lunch), Thursday, October 22, 2015 10:55 AM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Hey, you got youngling in my midichlorians!

the seed that sidious plants in anakin with the plagueis story ultimately leads him into turning to the dark side

well they could have maybe planted that seed sometime before halfway into the final movie of the trilogy. it "ultimately" leads him to the dark side in the next scene, more or less

they don't even know how to tell the story they are telling, it's an impressively layered kind of frustrating badness

― goole,

basically a thousand years of Sith history become bad Palpatine pickup lines that wouldn't get him a free vodka soda at a gay bar

Sidious was dying to plant his seed

one of the things that can still make feel good about lucas is that he based chewbacca on his dog (who was of course named indiana).

"You are named after THE DOG?!"

had a lot of good times with that dog

the seed that sidious plants in anakin with the plagueis story ultimately leads him into turning to the dark side

well they could have maybe planted that seed sometime before halfway into the final movie of the trilogy. it "ultimately" leads him to the dark side in the next scene, more or less

They did. In the second movie. After Anakin's mother dies and he tells Padme, "Some day, I will be the most powerful Jedi ever. I will even be able to stop people from dying."

People can like or not like whatever, but you can't criticize movies for doing things you don't remember them doing.

eventually, maybe w/ the next one, i will name a dog indiana that way when ppl ask me my dog's name i can go into connery voice and respond "we named the dog indiana"

I mean you can argue the execution and direction were shitty and what have you, but it's not like Lucas made no effort whatsoever to develop the idea. Even back in Phantom Menace the whole thing about Anakin was, "He wants to help people, he gives without thought of reward," etc.

lol "someday i will be the most powerful jedi ever. i will even be able to stop sand."

ok couldn't remember if that was in the 2nd or 3rd movie. what a lame character arc

God, those Anakin lines still seem so petulant even in writing. I kinda want to rewatch the last two prequels just to imagine that they're movies about Stephen Glass in space.

i don't doubt that on paper perhaps it is a tragic story but the way he portrayed it, there was no art to it

did they establish his dislike of sand in the first one, like greedo kid is like "annie there's a problem w/ yr pod alternator...yup, as i suspected - sand" and it's like oooh foreshadowing - top that david simon!

"I really like dictatorships....... j/k!"

http://www-personal.umich.edu/~kathyb/haydenc/images/anakin_padme_507.jpg

xpost Opera house sith dump was in the third movie after all.

I know we're talking about a Star Wars movie, but McDiarmid's best bits are in the opera sequence.

Who even knew he had a voice like that.

lol

McDiarmid in the opera scene is probably the most defensible piece of the entire prequel trilogy, and they put all the good lines from it in the trailer, so really you can save yourself nearly seven hours of viewing time if you just watch that.

I kinda want to rewatch the last two prequels just to imagine that they're movies about Stephen Glass in space.

― I Was Picking Up A Teaspoon When Something Happened To My Spine (Old Lunch), Thursday, October 22, 2015 3:25 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is such a good idea

"Master...did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me?"

I don't remember an opera sequence. What's this?

My main problem w the prequels was we should have seen Anakin's family, his real dad and mom, maybe his birth has comic force circumstances around it, etc. Also he was supposed to be "the best starfighter pilot in the galaxy" but he is more a chaperon and security detail in the prequels. Let's see him as a pilot for the Empire, one who is being sent to crazy space battles against extremist rebels on desolate hellscape planets in the far reaches. Let's see him have twisted force visions that make him question his sanity, and confront his superiors at the front lines. Maybe he slowly becomes bionic from war injuries and has PTSD.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^