Star Wars 7 shit talk

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Especially as ethics are a clearly defined line that the main character crosses and is the supposed crux of the entire series.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 22 October 2015 16:45 (eight years ago) link

i dont know its either this or politics and those people make even less sense

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 22 October 2015 16:46 (eight years ago) link

man that opening credits sequence has me stoked

a (waterface), Thursday, 22 October 2015 16:53 (eight years ago) link

it's like JJ Abrams cracked the code that made the prequels so shitty

a (waterface), Thursday, 22 October 2015 16:54 (eight years ago) link

Luke Skywalker: No, my father didn't fight in the Clone Wars. He was a navigator on a spice freighter.
Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi: That's what your uncle told you. He didn't hold with your father's ideals; he felt he should've stayed here and not gotten involved.
Luke Skywalker: You fought in the Clone Wars?
Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi: Yes. I was once a Jedi knight, the same as your father.
Luke Skywalker: I wish I'd known him.
Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi: He was the best star pilot in the galaxy, and a cunning warrior. I understand that you've become quite a good pilot yourself.
[sorrowfully]
Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi: And he was a good friend.

this is all you needed, you didn't need those three stupid movies. if you had to make them, yes, show him actually doing something other than being a suitor and then having a couple tantrums. also i think lucas focusing on the rise of the sith as an opponent from within was a disastrous decision, like i agree about wanting to see these epic space battles in distant star systems and the entire time it should have been the same two sides. the empire should have always been there as an enemy, maybe an unknown known or whatever, and there's this amazing war between two equally matched opponents that eventually is a victory for the empire because the emperor converts anakin in a way that isn't this high school play Iago shit.

nomar, Thursday, 22 October 2015 16:56 (eight years ago) link

we all know the prequels (and ROTJ) were shitty, this is the thread for how shitty Star Wars 7 will be

Οὖτις, Thursday, 22 October 2015 16:58 (eight years ago) link

tears don't really express fear btw fyi

― Sabato Gigante (benbbag), Wednesday, October 21, 2015 11:23 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

shout. shout. let it all out.

Sufjan Grafton, Thursday, 22 October 2015 17:02 (eight years ago) link

Lando Rabinowicz
― Don't Call Me A Lunkhead, You Dingbat! (Old Lunch)

i wish i knew why this has me in hysterics

a llove spat over a llama-keeper (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 22 October 2015 17:07 (eight years ago) link

it is a thinly veiled "Polish Joke" and you are 80 years old?

Sufjan Grafton, Thursday, 22 October 2015 17:19 (eight years ago) link

Oy, you got me.

a llove spat over a llama-keeper (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 22 October 2015 18:23 (eight years ago) link

Even back in Phantom Menace the whole thing about Anakin was, "He wants to help people, he gives without thought of reward," etc.

― Resting Bushface (Phil D.), Thursday, October 22, 2015 4:22 PM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

except when he is slaughtering an innocent village of creatures at least

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Thursday, 22 October 2015 21:38 (eight years ago) link

shout. shout. let it all out.

these are the jokes i can do without

polyphonic, Thursday, 22 October 2015 21:46 (eight years ago) link

Anakin in ROTS: Buddy buddy jokes n laughs with obi wan - conflicting emotions but sceptical of Palpatine - conflicted talk with Palpatine - slaughters doe eyed little children with rage to spare.

abcfsk, Thursday, 22 October 2015 21:57 (eight years ago) link

I've been hurt before so I'm keeping my distance

But could someone confirm, racist internet dudes are mad at this movie simply because that one main character is black??

Comme Si, Kamasi (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 23 October 2015 00:02 (eight years ago) link

Yeah, that goes back to the first trailer almost a year ago, but I think the stink that was raised this week about the "white genocide" thing was only a dumb joke that the media took seriously.

Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Friday, 23 October 2015 00:05 (eight years ago) link

lol "someday i will be the most powerful jedi ever. i will even be able to stop sand."

― balls, Thursday, October 22, 2015 10:23 AM (11 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

underappreciated comment

μpright mammal (mh), Friday, 23 October 2015 02:33 (eight years ago) link

Anakin screaming "no" when he wakes up in the Vader suit wasn't about the loss of his wife or his mutilated body -- it was his realization that he could have created a sand-proof suit of armor long ago and it never occurred to him

μpright mammal (mh), Friday, 23 October 2015 02:35 (eight years ago) link

i prefer the idea of them having like 400 Vader apparatuses at their disposal for these such situations....after Vader dies they're onto the next burnt Empire saviour

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Friday, 23 October 2015 02:38 (eight years ago) link

Anakin screaming "no"

this moment btw is the perfect example of something that by rights should have been really intense... just our accumulated knowledge of who anakin was and what he is shortly to become should have made that moment deeply emotional. but lucas just botched it in the execution... the framing, editing, everything (as i recall) was just so limp.

wizzz! (amateurist), Friday, 23 October 2015 03:44 (eight years ago) link

very awkwardly hilarious

μpright mammal (mh), Friday, 23 October 2015 03:58 (eight years ago) link

the worst prequel scene I can remember is anakin and padre romantically running around in a field. maybe in the second film? mumbled to my friend "jesus christ what is this shit, god damn it george lucas"

μpright mammal (mh), Friday, 23 October 2015 04:00 (eight years ago) link

Here's the prequels' profoundest moment:

https://instagram.com/p/9KNOC5QDUTkFn_cABUnhihUOw0m6N7syCGq9M0/

Ned Raggett, Friday, 23 October 2015 04:01 (eight years ago) link

I was about to say that he hasn't been in a long-term relationship since the 80s but I guess he got married in 2013 and they had baby via surrogate. For some reason, having a kid via a surrogate seems really apt.

μpright mammal (mh), Friday, 23 October 2015 04:03 (eight years ago) link

all of the "romantic" scenes were utterly atrocious

the thing is, you can see all of lucas's ambitions in those films, there are all kinds of motifs woven through the films (mise-en-scene, dialogue, etc.; e.g. the "sand" motif) -- it would be impressive if it wasn't all so pointless and ineffectual.

wizzz! (amateurist), Friday, 23 October 2015 04:03 (eight years ago) link

best part of lucas's directing style has to be actors admitting that some lines that fall flat or are delivered in a weird way are because george told them to deliver it that way

μpright mammal (mh), Friday, 23 October 2015 04:05 (eight years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0Ti9NXc7CM

i was in some high school plays that had more convincing love scenes than this

and look at those thomas kinkade CGI environments

wizzz! (amateurist), Friday, 23 October 2015 04:07 (eight years ago) link

Made it 50 seconds into that before I couldn't even hate-watch it any more.

schwantz, Friday, 23 October 2015 04:31 (eight years ago) link

I really was expecting one of those romantic scenes to go...

Padme: I love you.
Anakin: Why?
Padme: (speechless, frozen for remainder of film)

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Friday, 23 October 2015 05:19 (eight years ago) link

McDiarmid in the opera scene is probably the most defensible piece of the entire prequel trilogy, and they put all the good lines from it in the trailer, so really you can save yourself nearly seven hours of viewing time if you just watch that.

Still not clear why he chooses this gauche, ignorant, petulant, and irritating teen to groom for his second in command. He's easily manipulated and bursting with midichlorians but hardly seems qualified for running the largest most evil empire in the galaxy, also would be a giant pain in the arse to have hanging around all the time.

ledge, Friday, 23 October 2015 08:10 (eight years ago) link

cuz he is easily manipulated?

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 23 October 2015 10:42 (eight years ago) link

he looks cute in purple lipstick?

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 23 October 2015 10:42 (eight years ago) link

He's a powerful Jedi with wonky morals. You probably don't get too many of those.

the joke should be over once the kid is eaten. (chap), Friday, 23 October 2015 11:00 (eight years ago) link

Obi-Wan is a shit teacher, Palpatine has an alert on rateyourjedimaster.com

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 23 October 2015 11:03 (eight years ago) link

I like how Palpatine goads Anakin into killing Count Dooku, then later in his office is like, "Well, I know you have a problem controlling your temper . . ."

Resting Bushface (Phil D.), Friday, 23 October 2015 12:35 (eight years ago) link

I don't know how I never noticed before seeing the gif upthread, but melted Palpatine totally looks like he has a penis for a head.

I Was Picking Up A Teaspoon When Something Happened To My Spine (Old Lunch), Friday, 23 October 2015 12:47 (eight years ago) link

emperor palpatenis

the illicit unit slid tantalizingly across the waxed tile (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 23 October 2015 14:09 (eight years ago) link

I feel this

http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/return-of-the-jedi-was-great-you-ewok-slandering-fools-1738290933

tbh I've always had a fondness for Jedi. It was the first one I saw in the theater & I was the perfect age to be sold on Ewoks & it has held up to rewatching. yeah it seems more obviously kid friendly watching now but it doesn't upset me. Plus Muir Woods!!! i think ppl / nerds get way more bunched up over Jedi than they need to

Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 24 October 2015 01:02 (eight years ago) link

The best thing about ROTJ is how Luke's suddenly a badass jedi when he shows up at Jabba's

too young for seapunk (Moodles), Saturday, 24 October 2015 01:31 (eight years ago) link

^^^ this. And I still laugh when Threepio gets insulted in some guttural droid language by the eyeball-thing at Jabba's door. Though the belch from
that toad monster right before that prefigures the poop n' fart "jokes" Lucas put in Phantom Menace. Bad Sign #1.

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Saturday, 24 October 2015 01:46 (eight years ago) link

Jabba being all "gtfo bitchass Jedi" to Luke's mindtricks only to be hoist by his own petard and die anyway is classic.

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Saturday, 24 October 2015 01:47 (eight years ago) link

Hope they laid off the poop jokes in this new one.

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Saturday, 24 October 2015 01:47 (eight years ago) link

"I'll catch up with you guys later, gonna go drop off some goods at Tosche Station"

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Saturday, 24 October 2015 01:58 (eight years ago) link

Gotta go drop off the younglings.

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Saturday, 24 October 2015 02:06 (eight years ago) link

The whole Jabbas palace sequence of ROTJ is one of the best things in the whole trilogy. I'm also in the camp that its good fun and measures up reasonably well to the other two. Also the ewoks give us the great sequence of c3po telling the Star Wars story in ewok

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Saturday, 24 October 2015 02:12 (eight years ago) link

i mean the Ewok bullshit kinda brings proceedings to a grinding halt but the opening 30 mins or so are really fucking exciting.

but I imagine anybody would be let down after Empire - esp when they bring back another Death Star for round 2

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Saturday, 24 October 2015 02:15 (eight years ago) link

Vader saving Luke and then demasking for his son in his final moments = always makes me misty tho

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Saturday, 24 October 2015 02:18 (eight years ago) link

Going back to TFA -- I have to admit being a little sad when I saw Chewie with a bandaged arm in the new trailer. Would prefer my fave character remain beyond harm :)

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Saturday, 24 October 2015 02:21 (eight years ago) link

Also : Star Wars Rebels is knocking it out of the park three episodes in. The third episode of this new season is some of the best edited and directed animated TV I've seen in ages.

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Saturday, 24 October 2015 02:24 (eight years ago) link

but I imagine anybody would be let down after Empire - esp when they bring back another Death Star for round 2

― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Saturday, October 24, 2015 3:15 AM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah and it wasn't that impressive, it didn't blow up a planet just a couple starships. Lando and wedge when you really think about it just blew up some scaffolding, considering how it was half finished.

Ackbar took down that super star destroyer hardcore though damn

nomar, Saturday, 24 October 2015 02:32 (eight years ago) link


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