Star Wars 7 shit talk

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I'm watching Empire again and it's striking how Han's "game" with Leia is made up entirely of sneering and mockery. Lines that in the script you'd probably read as a combination of teasing and straight come-ons become these seething, aggressive taunts

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 27 October 2015 22:19 (nine years ago) link

The original PUA

too young for seapunk (Moodles), Tuesday, 27 October 2015 22:22 (nine years ago) link

someone please photoshop a fedora onto han solo

you too could be called a 'Star' by the Compliance Unit (jim in glasgow), Tuesday, 27 October 2015 22:23 (nine years ago) link

I don't know, it seems beyond that, he's really PISSED at her constantly

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 27 October 2015 22:25 (nine years ago) link

oh ... duh

you too could be called a 'Star' by the Compliance Unit (jim in glasgow), Tuesday, 27 October 2015 22:28 (nine years ago) link

loooooooool

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 27 October 2015 22:28 (nine years ago) link

Case closed

too young for seapunk (Moodles), Tuesday, 27 October 2015 22:32 (nine years ago) link

I'm also noticing how much blue collar FIXIT WORK people our heroes are always doing (I guess Leia's more middle management).. all the shenanigans with getting the Falcon flight-ready, Luke jerry-rigging a power supply for R2 on Dagobah. I read somewhere that directors love heist movies because heists echo what movie sets are like - partners in crime, each with their own speciality, trying to coordinate a million moving parts to realize a vision. I also get the feeling in movies like Empire, and Alien, that our heroes know how to fix stuff, and enjoy tinkering with stuff, because ultimately that's what filmmakers like to do too. And the farther directors get from the actual makin' stuff with their hands, and the bigger the disparity between the shop floor and the decision makers, the less you see heroes of these films who know to use a hydro spanner when they need to.

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 27 October 2015 22:36 (nine years ago) link

Number None be like "I can arrange that!"

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 27 October 2015 22:36 (nine years ago) link

i always thought the blue collar fixit work was a natural extension of lucas' interest in american grafitti-style hot-rod culture - the millennium falcon is han and chewie's bitchin' customised ride

the illicit unit slid tantalizingly across the waxed tile (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 27 October 2015 23:38 (nine years ago) link

I think it's also a genre trope. Space Opera heroes are always having to be their own crew chief, because radioing Houston to fix it and/or dying adrift are just not great storytelling.

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 27 October 2015 23:56 (nine years ago) link

Chewie fixing up 3PO too

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 27 October 2015 23:57 (nine years ago) link

I wonder if Star Dads all give their boys the same lecture when they get their learner's permit (for spaceflight, for owning robots, you know. I assume there are massive, galaxy-wide safety and occupational certification standards and enforcement apparatus; perhaps the breakdown of essential DMV services is part of why the place is all still fucked up 30 years after the Emperor's death?). "If you're gonna DRIVE one then you're gonna know how to FIX one! Here, catch! Do you know what that is? That's right, a hydro spanner! Do you know what it's for? No? Watch and learn!"

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 28 October 2015 00:08 (nine years ago) link

Harrison Ford was doing actual carpentry work when they had him stand in for Han

μpright mammal (mh), Wednesday, 28 October 2015 00:16 (nine years ago) link

shit i'm sayin

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 28 October 2015 00:19 (nine years ago) link

i really think we ought to raise the starpiloting age to 18 folks. especially with all the distractions available in those cockpits: holograms, etc.

wizzz! (amateurist), Wednesday, 28 October 2015 00:30 (nine years ago) link

Exactly. When Luke turns off his targeting computer it's clear he's just not done the hours under Instrument Flight Rules - should have been a clear disqualification for an X-Wing combat pilot

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 28 October 2015 01:02 (nine years ago) link

I rewatched "Looper" recently and, while I like it overall as a sort of pulpy B-pic with a glossy budget, I noticed that Rian Johnson's visual sense is straight out of TV. It's pretty much establishing shot >> a medium shot >> close ups close ups and more close ups with very little other than meat n' potatoes story elements taking up the frame. No sense of visual elegance. Reminds me stylistically of the latest "Mission:Impossible" film (visually basic) in comparison with what Brad Bird came up with for "Ghost Protocol". The one thing that can be said for Abrams is that he can often create compelling compositions and set pieces - even if much of the time they're nothing more than emulations of old Spielbergian tropes. But I'm fine with these kind of tropes in a SW film. I hope Johnson'll switch up his approach for the next films in this series.

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Wednesday, 28 October 2015 15:10 (nine years ago) link

R2 also fixes shit on the X-Wing though. I always thought that was a weird conceit, but cool anyway -- that the x-wing has this little plug-and-play hole for a droid. Why wouldn't you just build whatever functionality the droid has into the x-wing?

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Wednesday, 28 October 2015 15:15 (nine years ago) link

well R2D2 serves another role, in making luke likable -- the role that might be served, in another film, by a loyal dog. and i can imagine that the very idea of a self-fixing plane is a kind of artificial intelligence that wasn't quite on many people's minds in the 1970s. a kind of human surrogate (droid) as handyman probably seemed more realistic, or at least more relatable.

wizzz! (amateurist), Wednesday, 28 October 2015 15:20 (nine years ago) link

if you are stuck somewhere on a planet the little droid can pop out and repair the underside of your x-wing while chatting w/you

he's twice as interesting as Dak was on Hoth, and that dude lasted about five minutes

μpright mammal (mh), Wednesday, 28 October 2015 15:26 (nine years ago) link

One of Lucas' few interesting comments in the commentary tracks is noting that R2 is really the hero of the six movies, always saving the gang at the last minute.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 28 October 2015 15:27 (nine years ago) link

I never owned the Kenner R2 figure. My parents got me R5 D4. Cooler design too.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 28 October 2015 15:28 (nine years ago) link

bad motivator tho

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 28 October 2015 15:30 (nine years ago) link

It only just now occurred to me that there aren't really any computers (other than displays or communication consoles) in Star Wars and if there were they would accomplish many of the tasks that droids accomplish

I'm now imagining an alternate universe where Star Wars only first gets made in 2015 and R2D2 and C3PO are basically just smart phones

silverfish, Wednesday, 28 October 2015 15:31 (nine years ago) link

I don't think any of the little side stories outside of the movies have addressed when c3p0's memory was wiped between Eps 1-3 and 4-6, but I would like to think R2 kept his, making him the only character with real continuity throughout the whole saga

μpright mammal (mh), Wednesday, 28 October 2015 15:33 (nine years ago) link

bad motivator tho

― Οὖτις, Wednesday, October 28, 2015 10:30 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

R5-D4 was a proto-slacker.

Hellmann's All-Beef Bolognnaise (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 28 October 2015 15:34 (nine years ago) link

I believe on another thread somewhere we discussed that R2-D2 is the Owen Meany of Star Wars.

Also this guy http://cheeseburgerbrown.com/Darth_Vader/R2-D2_Fulcrum_of_the_Force.html

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 28 October 2015 16:16 (nine years ago) link

R2 also fixes shit on the X-Wing though. I always thought that was a weird conceit, but cool anyway -- that the x-wing has this little plug-and-play hole for a droid. Why wouldn't you just build whatever functionality the droid has into the x-wing?

Because updating your playlists on the spaceship itself is a pain. Easier just to have a droid that can rove back and forth from your desktop to the hangar bay, etc.

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 28 October 2015 16:18 (nine years ago) link

there are totally computers in star wars! they're just unseen mainframes, as in star trek and basically all scifi of the period. the garbage compactor scene in star wars is resolved by R2 plugging in to basically a random terminal to poll the computer as to whether our heroes have been found, and from there, shutting down every trash compactor on the detention level.

Gorefest Frump (Doctor Casino), Wednesday, 28 October 2015 16:47 (nine years ago) link

there's a pretty significant scene involving a targeting computer iirc

the illicit unit slid tantalizingly across the waxed tile (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 28 October 2015 16:49 (nine years ago) link

One of the first lines of dialogue is "The Death Star plans are not in the main computer!"

Resting Bushface (Phil D.), Wednesday, 28 October 2015 16:54 (nine years ago) link

ok, I guess it's just been way too long since I've seen these movies.

I guess my main point is that there is lots of AI in Star Wars in the form of droids, but for some reason the computers themselves are not intelligent, which is a bit weird when you think about it.

silverfish, Wednesday, 28 October 2015 17:00 (nine years ago) link

Obi-Wan: How long before you can make the jump to light speed?

Han Solo: It'll take a few moments to get the coordinates from the navi-computer.
[the ship begins to rock violently as lasers hit it]

Luke: Are you kidding? At the rate they're gaining...?

Han Solo: Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, boy! Without precise calculations we could fly right through a star, or bounce too close to a supernova and that'd end your trip real quick, wouldn't it.

nomar, Wednesday, 28 October 2015 17:00 (nine years ago) link

I'm surprised no one's mentioned the scene in Jedi when the Gammorrean Guard was looking up baseball scores on his Macbook.

Hellmann's All-Beef Bolognnaise (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 28 October 2015 17:04 (nine years ago) link

They're all purpose-built machines though - all hardware, no real idea of software - the astromech slot is there so that when you want to upgrade your X-Wing, you get a smarter droid for the slot.

Hah, just went to check and Wikipedia sez: "The history of the personal computer as mass-market consumer electronic devices effectively began in 1977"

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 28 October 2015 17:09 (nine years ago) link

what proportion of under-30 fans of SW and Indiana Jones (not hardcore geeks, just y'know regular people) know that in '77 and '81, the selling line for both was "pastiches of old movie serials"?

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 28 October 2015 17:10 (nine years ago) link

Just the ones that dress like hip grandparents

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 28 October 2015 17:13 (nine years ago) link

I'm not sure who would know what movie serials are, and why.

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 28 October 2015 17:20 (nine years ago) link

Those were better than

http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100323121721/starwars/images/2/22/Cereal_Box_C3P0s.jpg

how's life, Wednesday, 28 October 2015 17:28 (nine years ago) link

there is a great ilx post about C-3P0's lodged in my brain, no idea where/when it was though

Gorefest Frump (Doctor Casino), Wednesday, 28 October 2015 17:29 (nine years ago) link

ETs cerial looks like a bowl of tiny turds.

One bad call from barely losing to (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 28 October 2015 17:32 (nine years ago) link

et's basically cocoa puffs, c3po's basically alpha-bits iirc. mr t's smoked both of them.

balls, Wednesday, 28 October 2015 17:34 (nine years ago) link

ET cereal presaged Reese's Puffs and is therefore the best.

Hellmann's All-Beef Bolognnaise (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 28 October 2015 17:38 (nine years ago) link

And, yes, it was meant to look like you were eating a bowlful of ET's tiny turds.

Hellmann's All-Beef Bolognnaise (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 28 October 2015 17:39 (nine years ago) link

Speaking of, I'm glad Lucas eventually started addressing this, but when did the SW gang ever take a shit? The logistics wrt like Chewbacca and Darth Vader are mindbending.

Hellmann's All-Beef Bolognnaise (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 28 October 2015 17:40 (nine years ago) link

mr t's smoked both of them.

geez I hope he was okay afterwards

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 28 October 2015 17:42 (nine years ago) link


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