Star Wars 7 shit talk

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yeah there's a whole bit in the Shadows of the Empire novel (don't start) about Luke building his new lightsaber based on a book he finds at Kenobi's old house. Those focusing jewels are tricky

Number None, Monday, 9 November 2015 19:46 (eight years ago) link

And both a cutscene and Vader's dialogue in Jedi are about Luke constructing his new weapon

Purves Grundy (kingfish), Monday, 9 November 2015 19:47 (eight years ago) link

apparently Sidious let Vader use his lightsaber as a model when Obi-Wan took Vader's.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 9 November 2015 19:48 (eight years ago) link

But why can only Jedis build them, apparently? Chewbacca was pretty handy, and surely a droid could do it.

Is Han the only non-Jedi we ever see using a lightsaber?

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 9 November 2015 19:50 (eight years ago) link

it involves semi-mystical meditating about finding the right crystal or some malarkey

I am sure anyone could make one, but iirc learning how to swordfight is a little more intense than learning how to fire a gun

μpright mammal (mh), Monday, 9 November 2015 19:52 (eight years ago) link

Yeah, but one would come in handy when you want to open a carcass or, I dunno, a stuck ship door.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 9 November 2015 20:15 (eight years ago) link

yeah there's a whole bit in the Shadows of the Empire novel (don't start) about Luke building his new lightsaber based on a book he finds at Kenobi's old house. Those focusing jewels are tricky

http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/c/ce/Darkempire1.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20070921214400

I had this Dark Empire graphic novel that included a bunch of stuff about the force and the lightsaber crystal thing. Really don't think the movie will top that graphic novel tbh.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Monday, 9 November 2015 21:00 (eight years ago) link

I can't believe the Uptown 1 still has tickets for sale on opening night. IIRC, Blade Runner: The Final Cut wasn't exactly packed when they showed it there either, so maybe the stereotype(s) about DC nerd culture are accurate.

El Tomboto, Monday, 9 November 2015 21:11 (eight years ago) link

Presumably wielding a lightsabre swiftly results in a Jedi visit - the only non-Jedi we see with one is General Grievious (who has gathered all his from killing Jedi).

Andrew Farrell, Monday, 9 November 2015 22:57 (eight years ago) link

this line of enquiry makes as much sense as 'in 2015, why doesn't everyone have a sword'

thwomp (thomp), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 01:00 (eight years ago) link

Yeah but in 2015 open carry culture remains confined to a few states in the US and war zones, in the SW universe, open carry is an intergalactic way of life. So in that context a lightsaber is more like I don't know, Crocodile Dundee's knife?

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 01:07 (eight years ago) link

not a lot of people walking around those war zones with arming swords though are there

can't speak to the US, mb there it's a thing

thwomp (thomp), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 01:17 (eight years ago) link

lots of people walking around in war zones with machetes and other large knife varietals

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 01:37 (eight years ago) link

sure thats p much the same thing

thwomp (thomp), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 01:40 (eight years ago) link

feels like we're just talking past each other

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 02:00 (eight years ago) link

if the galactic empire put a large bounty on information about any possible australians that dundee mofo is gonna get a stormtrooper squadron dropped on his ass

μpright mammal (mh), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 02:17 (eight years ago) link

Just sayin', forget using it as a weapon or defense, a lightsaber would be totally handy for chopping down trees, opening doors, cutting holes in ice for fishing, etc.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 03:32 (eight years ago) link

have you perhaps confused the incredible Star Wars Universe for a fuckin Paul Bunyan story

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 04:33 (eight years ago) link

Paul Bunyan is actually kind of Star Warsy as names go

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 14:42 (eight years ago) link

"one of the slash fic novels published"

can I just say I think this is a misuse of "slash fic"? Isn't "slash fic" fan fiction that usually involves two characters of the same sex doing the deed? Like, Tarkin and Anakin taking a shower and then...

akm, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 14:48 (eight years ago) link

i'm listening, go on

the illicit unit slid tantalizingly across the waxed tile (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 14:49 (eight years ago) link

Governor Tarkin: Are they away?
Darth Vader: They've just made the jump into hyperspace.
Governor Tarkin: Finally. Now where were we?

how's life, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 14:52 (eight years ago) link

rolled r's

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 14:53 (eight years ago) link

guys I started reading that book yesterday, and although I wasn't able to finish it off in one night due to it actually having a little heft, there are a couple of scenes with Vader and Tarkin co-piloting or flying in tandem and I'm pretty sure they're going to do something in Vader's meditation chamber pretty soon

μpright mammal (mh), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 15:01 (eight years ago) link

J.J. Abrams, grim reaper

Daniel Fleetwood, the terminally ill man whose dying wish to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens was granted last week, has died at the age of 32.

His wife, Ashley Fleetwood, shared the news early Tuesday morning. “Daniel put up an amazing fight to the very end. He is now one with God and with the force. He passed in his sleep and in peace,” she wrote on Facebook, sharing a final photo they took together.

Fleetwood, a Star Wars fan since childhood, had been diagnosed with spindle cell sarcoma, a connective tissue cancer, and did not expect to live until The Force Awakens’ Dec. 18 release date.

A campaign to allow him to see the film early went viral earlier this month, using the hashtag #ForceForDaniel, and caught the attention of Star Wars cast members like Mark Hamill and John Boyega.

Last Thursday, Ashley Fleetwood announced on Facebook that Disney allowed Daniel to see an unedited version of the film. She also revealed that The Force Awakens director J.J. Abrams called the couple personally to reveal that Daniel’s wish would be granted.

Abrams granted a similar wish for a dying fan in 2013, arranging for a Star Trek fan with terminal cancer to see Star Trek Into Darkness before it was released. That man died just days after seeing the film.

Resting Bushface (Phil D.), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 16:13 (eight years ago) link

Can only imagine his face when preparing to start the film on that one: "Are you sure you're sure? I rented Galaxy Quest yesterday, we could watch that?"

Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 16:16 (eight years ago) link

I am dying, please show me the film

I mean, only in the way we are all dying, but... the film

μpright mammal (mh), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 16:55 (eight years ago) link

lol

Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 16:55 (eight years ago) link

mh, the diagnosis is in:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDaFMZfIsV4

too young for seapunk (Moodles), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 17:00 (eight years ago) link

i hope this doesn't mean Fanboys II will be made.

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 17:04 (eight years ago) link

best part of Tarkin book so far is the acknowledgment that the Clone Wars cartoon is in canon, so with Tarkin having worked side by side with Anakin and being close to Palpatine, he is pretty sure he knows who Vader is and their.. special relationship

μpright mammal (mh), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 17:12 (eight years ago) link

was there some Star Wars novel from the 90s about how Obi-Wan was a slaughterer of Ewoks or something, called My jedi My Savior or something?

I recall someone talking about it on a Star wars themed BBS once and wanted to read it but can't tell if it was real or if htey were pulling my leg

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 17:26 (eight years ago) link

cos y'know fuck the Ewoks

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 17:26 (eight years ago) link

Pretty sure i heard that too

a (waterface), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 17:28 (eight years ago) link

How did you fail to notice the Ewok slippers he wears throughout the first movie?

Trimming The Hegyes: The Life & Times Of A Sweathog's Barber (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 17:32 (eight years ago) link

Ewoks are fucked anyway - something that big blows up in orbit = nuclear winter.

Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 17:32 (eight years ago) link

If the fallout doesn't get them, the Gorax surely will.

Trimming The Hegyes: The Life & Times Of A Sweathog's Barber (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 17:36 (eight years ago) link

The "Endor Holocaust" scenario is examined in some detail here

http://www.theforce.net/swtc/holocaust.html

Y'know, if you're not doing anything else

Number None, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 18:12 (eight years ago) link

Hypothesis: "Jakku" in the new movies is actually Endor.

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 18:56 (eight years ago) link

Ha, good shout.

the joke should be over once the kid is eaten. (chap), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 18:58 (eight years ago) link

There's an opening day showing at 9 AM near our offices. Going to see if I can make a team building exercise out of this.

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 21:48 (eight years ago) link

given the levels of months-in-advance hype i'm kind of imaginging that what jj abrams et al have been working on for years is just this long-running, elaborate marketing plan and that no movie has been made and nothing will ever be released. which would be sort of beautiful, in a way... just this endless fan anticipation and speculation ricocheting around the internet forever and ever....

wizzz! (amateurist), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 21:50 (eight years ago) link

It's been under-acknowledged how directly this film so far wants to set things in three v familiar SW environments (desert, snowy, forest) as a means of re-establishing a connection. Nice but also maybe too deferential (even if they're not actually Tatooine, Hoth and Yavin IV in this case).

Presumably there won't be much of any new environment but they'll introduce some later in the trilogy? The prequels may have shown too many different locations/ideas in the end. Whether or not they eventually show anything of Coruscant in particular is also interesting.

nashwan, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 22:31 (eight years ago) link

It's been under-acknowledged how directly this film so far wants to set things in three v familiar SW environments (desert, snowy, forest) as a means of re-establishing a connection. Nice but also maybe too deferential (even if they're not actually Tatooine, Hoth and Yavin IV in this case).

that's a good point. there's a more familiar (and more tactile, perhaps) iconography that signifies a re-setting of the clock, almost.

wizzz! (amateurist), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 22:32 (eight years ago) link

It's been under-acknowledged how directly this film so far wants to set things in three v familiar SW environments (desert, snowy, forest)

that's right, i have yet to hear anyone make this observation

thwomp (thomp), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 00:21 (eight years ago) link

space, you forgot... space

μpright mammal (mh), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 00:22 (eight years ago) link

something i've yet to see speculation on: what if one or even two of these new characters are related to leia or luke?

balls, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 00:23 (eight years ago) link

and how come nobody's wondered where luke is yet?

balls, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 00:24 (eight years ago) link

Is the Finn Solo thing dead yet, or are people still entertaining it like it's not marvel comics level batshit?

Not really sure what would make more sense between Calrissian and Windu.

tsrobodo, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 00:32 (eight years ago) link


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