Star Wars 7 shit talk

Paul Bunyan is actually kind of Star Warsy as names go

"one of the slash fic novels published"

can I just say I think this is a misuse of "slash fic"? Isn't "slash fic" fan fiction that usually involves two characters of the same sex doing the deed? Like, Tarkin and Anakin taking a shower and then...

i'm listening, go on

Governor Tarkin: Are they away?
Darth Vader: They've just made the jump into hyperspace.
Governor Tarkin: Finally. Now where were we?

rolled r's

guys I started reading that book yesterday, and although I wasn't able to finish it off in one night due to it actually having a little heft, there are a couple of scenes with Vader and Tarkin co-piloting or flying in tandem and I'm pretty sure they're going to do something in Vader's meditation chamber pretty soon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjSYfwZpj3U

J.J. Abrams, grim reaper

Daniel Fleetwood, the terminally ill man whose dying wish to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens was granted last week, has died at the age of 32.

His wife, Ashley Fleetwood, shared the news early Tuesday morning. “Daniel put up an amazing fight to the very end. He is now one with God and with the force. He passed in his sleep and in peace,” she wrote on Facebook, sharing a final photo they took together.

Fleetwood, a Star Wars fan since childhood, had been diagnosed with spindle cell sarcoma, a connective tissue cancer, and did not expect to live until The Force Awakens’ Dec. 18 release date.

A campaign to allow him to see the film early went viral earlier this month, using the hashtag #ForceForDaniel, and caught the attention of Star Wars cast members like Mark Hamill and John Boyega.

Last Thursday, Ashley Fleetwood announced on Facebook that Disney allowed Daniel to see an unedited version of the film. She also revealed that The Force Awakens director J.J. Abrams called the couple personally to reveal that Daniel’s wish would be granted.

Abrams granted a similar wish for a dying fan in 2013, arranging for a Star Trek fan with terminal cancer to see Star Trek Into Darkness before it was released. That man died just days after seeing the film.

Can only imagine his face when preparing to start the film on that one: "Are you sure you're sure? I rented Galaxy Quest yesterday, we could watch that?"

I am dying, please show me the film

I mean, only in the way we are all dying, but... the film

lol

mh, the diagnosis is in:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDaFMZfIsV4

i hope this doesn't mean Fanboys II will be made.

best part of Tarkin book so far is the acknowledgment that the Clone Wars cartoon is in canon, so with Tarkin having worked side by side with Anakin and being close to Palpatine, he is pretty sure he knows who Vader is and their.. special relationship

was there some Star Wars novel from the 90s about how Obi-Wan was a slaughterer of Ewoks or something, called My jedi My Savior or something?

I recall someone talking about it on a Star wars themed BBS once and wanted to read it but can't tell if it was real or if htey were pulling my leg

cos y'know fuck the Ewoks

Pretty sure i heard that too

How did you fail to notice the Ewok slippers he wears throughout the first movie?

Ewoks are fucked anyway - something that big blows up in orbit = nuclear winter.

If the fallout doesn't get them, the Gorax surely will.

The "Endor Holocaust" scenario is examined in some detail here

http://www.theforce.net/swtc/holocaust.html

Y'know, if you're not doing anything else

Hypothesis: "Jakku" in the new movies is actually Endor.

Ha, good shout.

There's an opening day showing at 9 AM near our offices. Going to see if I can make a team building exercise out of this.

given the levels of months-in-advance hype i'm kind of imaginging that what jj abrams et al have been working on for years is just this long-running, elaborate marketing plan and that no movie has been made and nothing will ever be released. which would be sort of beautiful, in a way... just this endless fan anticipation and speculation ricocheting around the internet forever and ever....

It's been under-acknowledged how directly this film so far wants to set things in three v familiar SW environments (desert, snowy, forest) as a means of re-establishing a connection. Nice but also maybe too deferential (even if they're not actually Tatooine, Hoth and Yavin IV in this case).

Presumably there won't be much of any new environment but they'll introduce some later in the trilogy? The prequels may have shown too many different locations/ideas in the end. Whether or not they eventually show anything of Coruscant in particular is also interesting.

It's been under-acknowledged how directly this film so far wants to set things in three v familiar SW environments (desert, snowy, forest) as a means of re-establishing a connection. Nice but also maybe too deferential (even if they're not actually Tatooine, Hoth and Yavin IV in this case).

that's a good point. there's a more familiar (and more tactile, perhaps) iconography that signifies a re-setting of the clock, almost.

It's been under-acknowledged how directly this film so far wants to set things in three v familiar SW environments (desert, snowy, forest)

that's right, i have yet to hear anyone make this observation

space, you forgot... space

something i've yet to see speculation on: what if one or even two of these new characters are related to leia or luke?

and how come nobody's wondered where luke is yet?

Is the Finn Solo thing dead yet, or are people still entertaining it like it's not marvel comics level batshit?

Not really sure what would make more sense between Calrissian and Windu.

unless Windu's ghost has functioning reproductive organs I'd say it's unlikely

(something about midichlorians)

one of the characters has already been spoiled on Amazon by a product launch if you want to google for spoilers.

Wouldn't be the first time a jedi lost hand, fell from a great height then lived.

Unless his death is cannon elsewhere idk

one of the characters has already been spoiled on Amazon by a product launch if you want to google for spoilers.

― Kiarostami bag (milo z)

there are reasons to regard that spoiler w/ skepticism

What no one ever mentions is the faction that was neither Jedi not Sith that pushed for true balance in the force, no specialization, all aspects in every being.

The great master Ren taught this. Vader was their unknown martyr, having walked both paths, although he knew his real teacher by a different name.... Jar Jar

If the only black main character in the new film is related to the only black character in the other films I am going to leave this shit behind

i've seen TONS of discussion on if the girl is leia's daughter or han's kid or whatever
and plenty about WHERE IS LUKE including in this thread! i like the "he's the new emperor" theory, maybe using dark force powers makes you all wizened and shit and yoda used to be a wookie but he worked the darkside out of his system right after he got all frank oz with it? like, okay, the force is weed but the dark side is HEROIN

If Rey's not a Skywalker I'll eat my Fett

Rey is Yoda's kid

Well then. Imagining how that came about. Thanks.

Anybody see the nonsense about BB-8 identifying as a female? Completely shot down by citing comments from the producers that referred to it as "he" but I admit to seeing some logic in the theory. By "logic" I mean shorter and curvier than other droids.

i keep seeing ppl being like "Oh Luke is totally evil now, no question"

and to them I say:

fuuuuuuck you
and
based on WHAT
and
fuuuuuuck you

He's in the damn trailer with R2, and R2 would have bailed out if he was evil.

mark hamill is inside the melted vader mask. actually, it's not a mask -- that's just what mark hamill looks like in 2015

R2 going evil could set the stage for his battle with this new droid. BB-8 takes him out, but not before he apologizes in a series of books and beeps as the light dims on his panels. R2's sacrifice returns Luke to the light

thomp with the truth bomb

Man nobody's gonna ruin this movie faster than nerds with fanfic aspirations