Star Wars 7 shit talk

lol

mh, the diagnosis is in:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDaFMZfIsV4

i hope this doesn't mean Fanboys II will be made.

best part of Tarkin book so far is the acknowledgment that the Clone Wars cartoon is in canon, so with Tarkin having worked side by side with Anakin and being close to Palpatine, he is pretty sure he knows who Vader is and their.. special relationship

was there some Star Wars novel from the 90s about how Obi-Wan was a slaughterer of Ewoks or something, called My jedi My Savior or something?

I recall someone talking about it on a Star wars themed BBS once and wanted to read it but can't tell if it was real or if htey were pulling my leg

cos y'know fuck the Ewoks

Pretty sure i heard that too

How did you fail to notice the Ewok slippers he wears throughout the first movie?

Ewoks are fucked anyway - something that big blows up in orbit = nuclear winter.

If the fallout doesn't get them, the Gorax surely will.

The "Endor Holocaust" scenario is examined in some detail here

http://www.theforce.net/swtc/holocaust.html

Y'know, if you're not doing anything else

Hypothesis: "Jakku" in the new movies is actually Endor.

Ha, good shout.

There's an opening day showing at 9 AM near our offices. Going to see if I can make a team building exercise out of this.

given the levels of months-in-advance hype i'm kind of imaginging that what jj abrams et al have been working on for years is just this long-running, elaborate marketing plan and that no movie has been made and nothing will ever be released. which would be sort of beautiful, in a way... just this endless fan anticipation and speculation ricocheting around the internet forever and ever....

It's been under-acknowledged how directly this film so far wants to set things in three v familiar SW environments (desert, snowy, forest) as a means of re-establishing a connection. Nice but also maybe too deferential (even if they're not actually Tatooine, Hoth and Yavin IV in this case).

Presumably there won't be much of any new environment but they'll introduce some later in the trilogy? The prequels may have shown too many different locations/ideas in the end. Whether or not they eventually show anything of Coruscant in particular is also interesting.

It's been under-acknowledged how directly this film so far wants to set things in three v familiar SW environments (desert, snowy, forest) as a means of re-establishing a connection. Nice but also maybe too deferential (even if they're not actually Tatooine, Hoth and Yavin IV in this case).

that's a good point. there's a more familiar (and more tactile, perhaps) iconography that signifies a re-setting of the clock, almost.

It's been under-acknowledged how directly this film so far wants to set things in three v familiar SW environments (desert, snowy, forest)

that's right, i have yet to hear anyone make this observation

space, you forgot... space

something i've yet to see speculation on: what if one or even two of these new characters are related to leia or luke?

and how come nobody's wondered where luke is yet?

Is the Finn Solo thing dead yet, or are people still entertaining it like it's not marvel comics level batshit?

Not really sure what would make more sense between Calrissian and Windu.

unless Windu's ghost has functioning reproductive organs I'd say it's unlikely

(something about midichlorians)

one of the characters has already been spoiled on Amazon by a product launch if you want to google for spoilers.

Wouldn't be the first time a jedi lost hand, fell from a great height then lived.

Unless his death is cannon elsewhere idk

one of the characters has already been spoiled on Amazon by a product launch if you want to google for spoilers.

― Kiarostami bag (milo z)

there are reasons to regard that spoiler w/ skepticism

What no one ever mentions is the faction that was neither Jedi not Sith that pushed for true balance in the force, no specialization, all aspects in every being.

The great master Ren taught this. Vader was their unknown martyr, having walked both paths, although he knew his real teacher by a different name.... Jar Jar

If the only black main character in the new film is related to the only black character in the other films I am going to leave this shit behind

i've seen TONS of discussion on if the girl is leia's daughter or han's kid or whatever
and plenty about WHERE IS LUKE including in this thread! i like the "he's the new emperor" theory, maybe using dark force powers makes you all wizened and shit and yoda used to be a wookie but he worked the darkside out of his system right after he got all frank oz with it? like, okay, the force is weed but the dark side is HEROIN

If Rey's not a Skywalker I'll eat my Fett

Rey is Yoda's kid

Well then. Imagining how that came about. Thanks.

Anybody see the nonsense about BB-8 identifying as a female? Completely shot down by citing comments from the producers that referred to it as "he" but I admit to seeing some logic in the theory. By "logic" I mean shorter and curvier than other droids.

i keep seeing ppl being like "Oh Luke is totally evil now, no question"

and to them I say:

fuuuuuuck you
and
based on WHAT
and
fuuuuuuck you

He's in the damn trailer with R2, and R2 would have bailed out if he was evil.

mark hamill is inside the melted vader mask. actually, it's not a mask -- that's just what mark hamill looks like in 2015

R2 going evil could set the stage for his battle with this new droid. BB-8 takes him out, but not before he apologizes in a series of books and beeps as the light dims on his panels. R2's sacrifice returns Luke to the light

thomp with the truth bomb

Man nobody's gonna ruin this movie faster than nerds with fanfic aspirations

it's the same idiots who thought kylo ren was luke in the first trailer telling the vader mask he's going to finish what he started

ohhhh so luke is space hamlet now jfc

Ren is actually Sammy Hagar

I'm not super deep into the SW mythos (seen all the films, like the original 3, hate the prequels), but Luke going bad doesn't seem like a crazy left turn or anything. He's had 30 years to slowly get there, and probably didn't just wake up one morning thinking "dark side, yeaaaaaaah!"

yeah but would be kinda like the Go Set a Watchman conundrum all over again. He has this redemptive, triumphant moment the last time we seem him on screen only to see him take an incongruous jump to the dark side in the 30 years since?

kind of a jarring character turn to happen off-screen without context.

i'll be happier if there isn't some goddamn huge plot twist in this one cos I enjoy the internet and not looking forward to it breaking on 12/19

A lot of Revenge is about Luke's journey towards the dark side!

but he averts it, the whole "triumph of will" thing with the fireworks at the end!

who knows, maybe his daddy issues sent him back

if you don't think there isn't going to be a massive TWIST to keep people freaking out and waiting for the next installment

Uh the obvious plot advancement here is Luke's realization that mastery of the Force is basically a terrible weapon in anybody's hands (ok, hand) - "The Force Awakens" spells peril for the universe, not salvation. Welcome to the post-Cold War Star Wars everybody!

if you don't think there isn't going to be a massive TWIST to keep people freaking out and waiting for the next installment

― a llove spat over a llama-keeper (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, November 11, 2015 4:01 AM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the twist isn't even needed, really. all they need to do is leave one easter egg in the film and fans' minds will begin wandering. look how much chatter the endless spinning top needlessly generated in Inception