Star Wars 7 shit talk

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Oh I read the top nerd aggregators on a pretty regular basis, my predictions are WELL INFORMED
and I mean we have kingfish on this thread, you think he's fooling around?

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 04:16 (nine years ago) link

considering hamill's most notable roles of the past twenty years it would be something if instead of having him turn into obi-wan you had him turn into yoda. cackling, maybe insane, and then when you get past that a grumpy old man who gut instinct is 'it's pointless to try'.

balls, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 04:17 (nine years ago) link

you kids, you don't know what it's like to have to go all the way to Tosche Station to get power converters, now the damn things get delivered same-day by probe droids

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 04:18 (nine years ago) link

idk how much we can spoil or speculate! like nobody reliable has seen anything that really indicates kylo ren's parents or that han solo dies but man i've seen enough that i have a strong feeling han is kylo ren's dad and kylo ren is gonna kill him. i have less to go on w/ this than ppl buying into 'finn calrissian' have admittedly. the red letter dude's totally sold me that nu-hoth is the nu-death star. crazy prediction i'm going to make that has no basis from anything: nu-death star belongs to the rebels.

balls, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 04:22 (nine years ago) link

The twist is that at the end Han finds an origami unicorn on the dashboard of the Falcon.

EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 04:24 (nine years ago) link

i wish people did this kind of speculation when there was, say, a new frederick wiseman film
"they are TOTALLY gonna show a christening in this one"

a llove spat over a llama-keeper (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 04:24 (nine years ago) link

I would love to see the Werner Herzog take on Lucasian universe/franchise-building

Kind of like how I will go to my grave wondering what it would be like if Wesley Willis joined the post-Onanie Bomb Boredoms

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 04:30 (nine years ago) link

Oh wait the answer to the first idea is the WORLD WE LIVE IN NOW
I'm slow

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 04:31 (nine years ago) link

Herzog film needs Siamese Hutt Twins

Kiarostami bag (milo z), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 04:50 (nine years ago) link

Notorious smuggler, Fitt Zcarreedo

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 05:34 (nine years ago) link

And what haunts me, is that in all the faces of all the wampas that Probe 11-38 ever detected, I discover no kinship, no understanding, no mercy. I see only the overwhelming indifference of Hoth. To me, there is no such thing as a secret world of the wampas. And this blank stare speaks only of a half-bored interest in food. But for Probe 11-38, this wampa was a signal, a reason for being.

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 05:37 (nine years ago) link

Boort Floss, Probe Wrangler:

My opinion, I think 11-38 thought these wampas were big, scary looking, harmless creatures that it could go up and scan and beep at, and they would bond as children of the universe or some-odd. I think it lost sight of what was really going on.

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 05:44 (nine years ago) link

Little Dameron Needs to Fly

weatheringdaleson, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 06:33 (nine years ago) link

Even Ewoks Started Small

a llove spat over a llama-keeper (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 07:45 (nine years ago) link

i wish people did this kind of speculation when there was, say, a new frederick wiseman film
"they are TOTALLY gonna show a christening in this one"

― a llove spat over a llama-keeper (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, November 10, 2015 10:24 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol. which american institution will he tackle next?

bait shop

DMV

motivational seminar

pest control

organic farm

wizzz! (amateurist), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 08:42 (nine years ago) link

If the only black main character in the new film is related to the only black character in the other films I am going to leave this shit behind

― μpright mammal (mh), Tuesday, November 10, 2015 8:05 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"What am I, her royal highness's chopped liver?"

http://usercontent2.hubimg.com/6742229_f260.jpg

Resting Bushface (Phil D.), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 13:03 (nine years ago) link

If Rey's not a Skywalker I'll eat my Fett

― El Tomboto, Tuesday, November 10, 2015 8:59 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Based on the fact that they're letting Daisy Ridley use her natural speaking voice and not having her adopt an American accent (unlike Boyega), my current speculation based on everything so far released is:

- She's Luke's daughter
- She's never met her father
- Her mother is someone we've never met and won't meet in this movie
- Luke will not show up in this movie until the final reel

Resting Bushface (Phil D.), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 13:05 (nine years ago) link

We're never told Yoda is male, and he's got the same voice as Miss Piggy, who we know (per the above) had a thing for Luke, so I posit that Rey is the child of Luke and Yoda and that is why he wears a mask.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 14:29 (nine years ago) link

Yeah, would be Yodo if a male.

Chewshabadoo, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 15:06 (nine years ago) link

YODO

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 15:10 (nine years ago) link

#YODO

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 15:10 (nine years ago) link

will John Williams work in the Imperial March even tho there is no Empire, Y or N

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 15:14 (nine years ago) link

xp just as kylo ren's ringtone

Merdeyeux, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 15:45 (nine years ago) link

Some new photos at EW: http://www.ew.com/gallery/star-wars-force-awakens-exclusive-photos

Resting Bushface (Phil D.), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 19:05 (nine years ago) link

and a nice Ford interview

http://www.ew.com/article/2015/11/11/harrison-ford-is-han-solo

Number None, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 19:47 (nine years ago) link

So RLM looks to be right, Han and Chewie are a couple of pedestrian hobos at this point? ref interview comment about how Han's still no good with money, and "we're home" line from that one teaser back when, implying they've not been spending much time on the Falcon.

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 20:30 (nine years ago) link

it's actually the moment after they dock with Home One, Ackbar's ship

μpright mammal (mh), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 20:34 (nine years ago) link

If multiple missions playing Xwing/Tie Fighter are any indication, Home One was blown away long ago by an errant pilot who got bored on a mission and decided to see how many hits it would take to destroy certain critical hard points on an Alliance capital ship.

Professor Goodfeels (kingfish), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 21:49 (nine years ago) link

EW talks to Lupita Nyongo about her character, which apparently appears on the movie poster:

http://www.ew.com/article/2015/11/12/star-wars-force-awakens-lupita-nyongo-maz-kanata

Resting Bushface (Phil D.), Thursday, 12 November 2015 17:34 (nine years ago) link

a thousand years old, finally a character who knows things

μpright mammal (mh), Thursday, 12 November 2015 17:40 (nine years ago) link

Star Wars got the Pai Mei it needed

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Thursday, 12 November 2015 17:59 (nine years ago) link

I dig how Andy Serkis is getting a double paycheck as both onscreen actor and mocap advisor

Professor Goodfeels (kingfish), Thursday, 12 November 2015 20:45 (nine years ago) link

He should just wear a mocap suit 24/7 and spend his life walking funny and contorting himself, just to build a licenseable archive. When they get around to making that movie about a CGI creature that sleeps all the time, he'll be printing money.

Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 12 November 2015 20:49 (nine years ago) link

Pah. Manga wanjee kohkpah Peecha wahnjee kohkpa tahng nahngee toochantkee lasagna.

Capitalism Is A Death Cult And Science Is A Whore (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 12 November 2015 21:00 (nine years ago) link

Per that great Red Letter Media prediction episode, what exactly does the Empire do with its power besides build Death Stars? They're kind of a one-trick pony, aren't they? Conquering worlds to get resources to build Death Stars to conquer worlds to get resources to build Death Stars to ... It's like a Spacemen 3 album title.

Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 12 November 2015 21:15 (nine years ago) link

lol thats another thing the prequels could have looked into. maybe it ultimately is about taxation and trade deals.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 12 November 2015 21:16 (nine years ago) link

Power grows out of the barrel of a death star

Capitalism Is A Death Cult And Science Is A Whore (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 12 November 2015 21:36 (nine years ago) link

Episode 9 will end with a Death Star on Death Star superlaser duel.

jmm, Thursday, 12 November 2015 21:37 (nine years ago) link

"So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause."

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 12 November 2015 21:38 (nine years ago) link

btw congrats to General Leia Organa. That's a nice promotion for someone who went through the first movie showing the irritation commensurate with finding the nail salon closed.

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 12 November 2015 21:44 (nine years ago) link

well, she was a politician, but still a kid, really

μpright mammal (mh), Thursday, 12 November 2015 21:48 (nine years ago) link

her brother's biggest ambition was to maybe get off his world, someday, but mostly hang out at the convenience store with his friends while pretending to run an errand for power converters

μpright mammal (mh), Thursday, 12 November 2015 21:49 (nine years ago) link

well he's an American Graffiti character gone galactic

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 12 November 2015 21:53 (nine years ago) link

someone who went through the first movie showing the irritation commensurate with finding the nail salon closed.

LOL yeah chicks right?

Capitalism Is A Death Cult And Science Is A Whore (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 12 November 2015 22:27 (nine years ago) link

They give a sensible rationale in ANH in the officers meeting, which actually is a neat scene that I don't think we get another one of quality(not counting the prequels' shitty attempts).

http://static.fosketts.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Grand-Moff-Tarkin-500x283.jpg

"Fear will keep the local systems in line. Fear of this battle station."

This scene is also where he mentions how the Imperial Senate has been dissolved by the Emperor, and now regional governors have direct control over their respective territories.

So, yeah, mobile doomsday weapon to backstop an authoritarian power-grab.

And *of course* Wookieepedia has a write-up for it:

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Tarkin_Doctrine

Professor Goodfeels (kingfish), Thursday, 12 November 2015 22:28 (nine years ago) link

tbf tarkin never used that phrase, it was coined by charles krauthammer

denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Thursday, 12 November 2015 22:34 (nine years ago) link

i like Carrie Fisher, GOTT (moreso when she learned to act a little), but that character as a future general is mighty funny.

also fuck PC bullshit as always

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 12 November 2015 22:39 (nine years ago) link

the new poster for her is cool

lol lens flare tho

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 12 November 2015 22:40 (nine years ago) link


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