Star Wars 7 shit talk

important film questions to be addressed

Just hope jj is bringing the wipes...or is that the editor's domain?

"Everybody better bring the wipes to the pants-shittingly good Star Wars 7." - Peter Travers

"J.J. Abrams' rollercoaster wham dinger of a movie is guaranteed to melt your heart and soil your undies."

Presumably some sort of side effect of melty heart

read those last couple aloud in the car on the way back to work from lunch. "wham dinger" went over really well.

"Daisy Ridley finds the bruised heart at the core of Rey."

up to 11 dissenting critics on RT. (5%)

Martin Shkreli yelled out a major spoiler as he was being arrested today and someone posted it on my FB today. im not even that hyped on the new Star Wars but it bummed me out. it was inevitable, though, since I probably won't be able to see it until 2016. i bet all the matinees are sold out for weeks.

Martin Shkreli yelled out a major spoiler as he was being arrested today

hahahahahaha

@keithuhlich
You know what, artists? Don't give me what I want.

xp lol, what a troll. i bet i know what the spoiler was

I agree with @keicthulhuch.

xp wait that didn't actually happen, right?

Yup. Not gonna link because the fucking headline is the spoiler.

Four word review: sucks to be Shakey.

? I'm havin a great day

i *am* seing a sequel tonight: The Look of Silence

ahma watch a modern dance version of the nutcracker by charles burns and mark morris
i hope chewbacca shows up early

Saw it. Felt it. Cried. Will scoff at self-important cynics. The end.

has it topped taking care of business as best jj abrams project?

nice

Disappointing

3D didn't detract but didn't enhance to much either. There was 3D lens flare at one point. No post-credits sequence, in case you feel inclined to stick around through that stuff. Great movie.

Saw it. Felt it. Cried. Will scoff at self-important cynics. The end.

― human and working on getting beer (longneck)

can you post in the form of a credits crawl

I am in the lobby waiting for my theater to be seated, drinking a Star Wars themes beer

I don't like you either

lost track of the number of death marks I have by now tbh

we cool mh

My favourite working film critic really liked it (though his Abrams love has baffled me before):

http://www.filmfreakcentral.net/ffc/2015/12/star-wars-the-force-awakens.html

No post-credits sequence,

yes, THAT fucking pantswetting fairy bullshit started well after '77

.........
.......

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There's a pantswetting fairy?

I've got some cash coming to me

Next time, Alfred.

What the "remix" reviews are missing, for me, is the overwhelming (in every sense of the world) sensation I got that this world had kept on existing just as it was since 1983, with the characters living on, messing their lives up, time passing just as in the real world, and only now did we somehow manage to find our way back to it, a return to neverland, more or less, tinged with the pathos of loss, of having grown up in the meantime, and yet it was there all along. We just didn't have access to it. It's a different kind of enchantment from the first trilogy precisely because it builds on that feeling of time and a world lost, but it does remember the importance of enchantment and captures it correctly.

Also, it's not just for old people like me - I saw it with my ten year old son and it was like he finally GOT Star Wars. Suddenly it wasn't merely a franchise of toys and games and old movies that his dad liked a lot a long time ago in a galaxy far far away. It became his world too, and this is his favorite movie in the world right now. It felt so good to be able to connect with him over this.

facebook is rash with pride for kylo ren. put mishawaka on the map. biggest since lisa germano.

http://images-cdn.moviepilot.com/images/c_fill%2Ch_821%2Cw_1062/t_mp_quality/bxq7f68x7ao6kjxlb1rl/could-kylo-ren-jeopardise-star-wars-episode-7-actual-screen-shots-confirmed-432479.jpg
simply cannot think about this guy as the baddie without imagining him yelling HANNAH WHERE'D YOU PUT MY LIGHTSABER

Thankfully, most of the kids who are going to see this won't be familiar with Hannah Horvath.

I wrote about in more detail in the spoilers thread, but IMO Kylo Ren is one of the weakest parts of the movie. Dude is simply not credible as a scary villain, once he takes his mask off. He shouldn't have taken it off at all.

I think that is the allure, but yeah, spoilers thread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gUKYBs6T8c

‏@max_read
i declare the new star wars Good

:o

better than the prequels, not as good as any of the original three. jj puts you back in that universe in a way 'phantom menace' etc never really did, but the absence of a coherent storyline is still annoying. it was more of a series of echoes and cover versions of original trilogy situations (strung together through improbable coincidence) in the service of setting up a new trilogy than its own independent thing. weight of circumstances and all that but still, it could have held together better. but it's not bad!

I agree with that. I didn't love it as much as others though I did enjoy large parts of it

https://twitter.com/whitecitycinema/status/677626604382744576

wow do i ever feel foolish now

This is the third-best Star Wars film and the best thing JJ Abrams has done by a country fucking mile.

is Oscar Isaac nude in this

was surprised when my wife informed me he's latino, I totally thought he was Jewish

Ha no way, I'd assumed that too but it seems p obvious in hindsight