sales guys are an odd breed. I sat next to one in a prev job whose mind was blown when I clued him in that Windows has a built in calendar. :/
― Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious. (Trayce), Thursday, 21 January 2016 08:01 (eight years ago) link
also lol @ cleaners filling/emptying dishwashers. luxury! ours don't even dust the desks. empty bins, vacuum, that's it. I spose they'd charge more to do more.
― Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious. (Trayce), Thursday, 21 January 2016 08:02 (eight years ago) link
do not start me on salespeople
90% of the in my office are oldschoolphone salesppl. they are skilled at a) loudtalking and b) making smalltalk with strangers and c) bullshitting ...and that's it.
― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 21 January 2016 18:42 (eight years ago) link
VG OTMFM x1000000000000000
― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Thursday, 21 January 2016 18:50 (eight years ago) link
oh and d) COMPLAINING
― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 21 January 2016 19:13 (eight years ago) link
tbf you're no slouch yourself
― mookieproof, Thursday, 21 January 2016 19:42 (eight years ago) link
and e) refusing to take "no" for an answer when production/design/creative/whatever says "can't be done, you shouldn't have promised that."xp
― WilliamC, Thursday, 21 January 2016 19:42 (eight years ago) link
for the third time in a month, i've been asked to be the fall guy for my boss. all of them are variations on the boss forgetting to ask people to do things, then asking me to be the one sending the email demanding that things be due with not nearly enough time for the staff to turn it around. then they all reply to me with their complaints. which i totally get! i'd be pissed too!
btw ILX i'm going to need all of you to prepare a presentation with detailed speaking notes by tomorrow morning. also, the presentation will be in NYC. i assume that's ok with all of you but you'll need to make travel arrangements if you haven't already. THANKS,
ZACH
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 21 January 2016 20:30 (eight years ago) link
i'm sure there's a decent portion of this office who don't even know who i am but completely hate my guts, based purely off of these emails
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 21 January 2016 20:31 (eight years ago) link
plus side: when i quit in a few months, no one will wonder why
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 21 January 2016 20:32 (eight years ago) link
xxpost watch it mookie >:(
― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 21 January 2016 21:56 (eight years ago) link
we have a nespresso machine at work, the capsules are supplied seemingly at random. (there are (almost) always capsules there but the flavours are random)
someone in there today - 'oh they have (some flavour) again', uses one, sticks two in his pocket.
another colleague always uses the decaf capsules but two at a time.
(i use said machine about twice a year just to remind myself how much i don't like the coffee it produces)
― koogs, Friday, 29 January 2016 10:21 (eight years ago) link
There's been a long-running joke that my current line manager often falls asleep at his desk after lunch.
So I've been working 12 hour days all this week because he's been off sick for ten days. He has insomnia.
― sktsh, Friday, 29 January 2016 11:38 (eight years ago) link
if you ever brag in the office about your exercise routine you should no longer get to duck out of any physical lifting/shoving tasks without a good excuse imo
people with bad backs and dodgy knees and who knows what else lugging stuff all over the place while our office's resident gymrat is pretending not to notice
― a passing spacecadet, Friday, 29 January 2016 13:15 (eight years ago) link
people here go to the gym and then take the lift one floor...
― koogs, Friday, 29 January 2016 13:28 (eight years ago) link
If the past week has taught me anything, it's that 4000 redundancies, the suspension of all bonus payments and an internal social network are not a good mix.
Though my sympathy is obvs with the former, it's difficult to know whether the people openly trashing management / other departments or the ones cheerleading for the "difficult decisions" have the least common sense. You are left with the impression that half the company is determined to make themselves unemployed and the other half would respond to all the CEO's updates with "fuck me, daddy" if it wasn't for the profanity filter.
― On a Raqqa tip (ShariVari), Friday, 29 January 2016 14:04 (eight years ago) link
yikes :(
― conditional random jepsen (seandalai), Friday, 29 January 2016 14:54 (eight years ago) link
yes, yikes! hope things work out ok for you ShariVari
― a passing spacecadet, Friday, 29 January 2016 17:31 (eight years ago) link
ty!
Other than having my bonus cruelly snatched away at the 11th hour, i'm unaffected this time around.
I hope that any other Ilxors rolling in the same clown car (iirc there's at least one) are similarly ok.
― On a Raqqa tip (ShariVari), Friday, 29 January 2016 21:12 (eight years ago) link
you may mean me - i'm good thanks, doesn't seem like there's too much to worry about here atm.
― kinder, Friday, 29 January 2016 21:35 (eight years ago) link
Guy next to me has been asleep for most of the last 15 minutes, he even started snoring. As hes a helpdesk phone person I'm half wondering if he put his phone on no calls and hoped no one'd notice. Yeesh.
― Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious. (Trayce), Tuesday, 9 February 2016 02:56 (eight years ago) link
I mean dude, go to the loo if you really want a nap.
time to dack him, Trayce
― like Uber, but for underpants (James Morrison), Tuesday, 9 February 2016 06:29 (eight years ago) link
He was sitting down, but I should have dropped a pencil down his pants Homer style. TBF this guy is a friend outside of work so I wouldnt've. TBH Im a bit worried about him.
― Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious. (Trayce), Tuesday, 9 February 2016 08:51 (eight years ago) link
scheduling a colonoscopy from your cubicle: c/d?
― how's life, Monday, 22 February 2016 18:11 (eight years ago) link
Depends if you're scheduling it for yourself or for an annoying coworker
― like Uber, but for underpants (James Morrison), Monday, 22 February 2016 21:58 (eight years ago) link
Ha, that sorrrrt of happened to me a while ago, as in the hospital rang me at work unexpectedly and asked me all these horrible questions that I just couldnt answer aloud, cos who wants to hear me say that shit. err... no pun intended.
― Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious. (Trayce), Monday, 22 February 2016 23:20 (eight years ago) link
someone who works at one of the stores sent me the stupidest most bogus corporate-speak ("communiques", "closing the conversation loop", "our shared goal of successful business in a professional setting" LADY U DON'T WORK YR HIGH-FLATUIN EXEC POSISH ANYMORE YR JUST A SALES CLERK FOR A LAME CLOTHING COMPANY THAT SELLS A LOT OF UGLY SHIT) text message , doing a poor job of subtly patronizing me, and i totally wigged out and sent her a scolding msg back, basically telling her to cut this shit out.
no reply so far. pretty sure she's gone tattling to my boss, bc she's already narced on me to the general manager (who's on my side).
― just1n3, Wednesday, 24 February 2016 06:12 (eight years ago) link
anyone who uses "closing the conversation loop" in a text message needs their mobile phone privileges revoked.
― police patrol felt the smell of smoke and found that goat burns (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, 24 February 2016 13:39 (eight years ago) link
"Hi Xxxxx,Let me circle back with the client manager once more and get back to you.Thanks!"
can't decide whether this, which arrived this morning, is a 360, a 540 or a 720.
― koogs, Wednesday, 24 February 2016 13:43 (eight years ago) link
I always want to tell people who pull that shit "can we speak in english instead of suit? Thanks kindly"
― Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious. (Trayce), Wednesday, 24 February 2016 23:39 (eight years ago) link
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/P/1444781839.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg
― like Uber, but for underpants (James Morrison), Wednesday, 24 February 2016 23:55 (eight years ago) link
xp OMG i forgot to add - she signed an earlier, corporate-speak, bullshit text addressed to me/boss/manager, with "thank you and sincerely - [her full first name, not the shortened version she ALWAYS goes by]"
i really wanted to text back 'who tf signs their texts?? and especially like THAT??" but that was back when i was trying not to be the asshole.
― just1n3, Thursday, 25 February 2016 01:52 (eight years ago) link
Team leader was asking one of the accounts ladies to send him a copy of the link she was having probs with.
"how do I do that?", says the woman who works in a fucking IT company.
― Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious. (Trayce), Friday, 26 February 2016 04:26 (eight years ago) link
Advertiser's previous ads have had solid black backgrounds by their request. My contact, Low Level Functionary, says "let's do something updated and modern this issue."I produce something sleek and slightly futuristic.LLF: No, let's go with something rural: meadow, barnI change it all to meadow, barn. Now it looks like technicolor vomit because the background is too busy and the foreground is three quarts of info pushed into a one quart container.LLF: change this, change that (repeat repeat)After 7 rounds of proofs she finally shows it to her general manager.GM: Make the background black.
― Mars Capone (WilliamC), Friday, 26 February 2016 14:10 (eight years ago) link
Haha.
We've got a pub that's had a wall on each cover because no one wanted to give precedence to either a rural or urban scene over the other.
― pplains, Friday, 26 February 2016 15:15 (eight years ago) link
I think the last issue was actually an out-of-focus tree.
― pplains, Friday, 26 February 2016 15:16 (eight years ago) link
My boss insisted our magazine be printed on glossy paper instead of the lovely matt stuff i'd spent hours choosing because "it looks more professional". Now it looks and feels like an Officeworks catalogue
― like Uber, but for underpants (James Morrison), Saturday, 27 February 2016 03:20 (eight years ago) link
Further off-topic, I had a program director back in the radio days make our engineer add a slight echo to our broadcasts, where everyone sounded like the mayor dedicating a new water park.
― pplains, Saturday, 27 February 2016 03:27 (eight years ago) link
i'm sorry, that's awesome
― mookieproof, Saturday, 27 February 2016 03:55 (eight years ago) link
It took some getting to used to.
― pplains, Saturday, 27 February 2016 04:00 (eight years ago) link
Hearing PP's post in a booming echo.
― Mad Piratical (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Saturday, 27 February 2016 05:30 (eight years ago) link
manager always wants to add exclamation points to the sell-sheets i put together for him
it's like working with a carnival barker
― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 27 February 2016 06:57 (eight years ago) link
manager: mock something up for the design team
me: ok cool *provides rough mockup*
oh hey look they had to print what i did because he gave the group zero time to redesign anything
me: please dont tell people I am responsible that
― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 27 February 2016 07:01 (eight years ago) link
Now I have an advertiser forwarding me a 72 dpi proof that her designer had sent her and saying "ok, here's my press-ready ad," and I'm like mmmmmmnope.
― WilliamC, Saturday, 27 February 2016 13:58 (eight years ago) link
leading training for new hires last week and it was great but the materials/demo tools we are given were created in 2006 and haven't been updated well. the demo tool has one key 401k plan provision that has been illegal since 2006 as part of the Pension Protection Act.
they literally have a list they've compiled for three years of things wrong with the materials and are all like "yeah we're getting to it".
― you are no man. take the balls. (Neanderthal), Saturday, 27 February 2016 14:02 (eight years ago) link
I get people who not only send 72 dpi photos they've downloaded FROM FACEBOOK for print publication, but downloaded the THUMBNAIL from the album they were browsing to select it.
(Rarely, once a year or so.)
― pplains, Saturday, 27 February 2016 16:16 (eight years ago) link
Oh yes, that is a thing for sure.
― WilliamC, Saturday, 27 February 2016 16:26 (eight years ago) link
I can understand not knowing what dpi is or even that the size of an image in print must be much larger than the photos you see online.
But not getting that a larger image that "fills up the whole screen" would be better than the the preview image to send, I don't get that one.
And they're downloaded, "Saved As"! It would almost make sense if we were getting screenshot.png's.
― pplains, Saturday, 27 February 2016 16:49 (eight years ago) link
the *director of quality assurance* parks his motorcycle in diagonal lined space between handicapped spots.
also have come to realize that coworker (whom i usually get along with!) is an irl trump-voting anime avatar.
― circles, Saturday, 27 February 2016 17:52 (eight years ago) link