start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

Caption: "Fucking physics"

(Chopping vegetables, chopping vegetables, suddenly plunges knife into neck) There's got to be a better way!

"Choppin' broccolayyyy..."

Solution: stop eating vegetables

A possible solution to9 the rolling off cuttingboard thing might be to have 3 of the four sides have a raised edge to them. Not sure fi that hinders movement otherwise. Or if anybody selss anything like that.

My cookery teacher has us putting a teatowel under the choppingboard to prevent that moving on the table service but that may be widespread practise anyway.

I solve this problem by not chopping things into discs.

You could try and cut everything square so it doesn't roll of course. But that might not help your culinary project.

Calling the ground outside the floor.

I just apply the five second rule and dont tell anyone half the carits ended up on the floor.

Sponsored stories on news sites.

Composers posting MIDI demos of acoustic pieces on Soundcloud.

That stupid allegedly sexy/flirtatious finger-biting pose assumed on movie posters but never actually seen in real life, a la http://cdn.collider.com/wp-content/image-base/Movies/W/When_in_Rome/posters/When%20in%20Rome%20movie%20poster%20Kristen%20Bell.jpg

Did you ever wish you could get that caraway seed out of your teeth?

FPd for hating Kristen Bell.

(Not her best poster, I'll grant.)

avocado egg rolls

when i click "remove bookmark from thread" instead of "bookmark"

friends who fly over to visit *only you* but "dont want to be a bother" about getting picked up from the airport

jfc it's a 20 min drive i'm not sending a horsedrawn fucking carriage

People willing to wait in line more than 45 minutes for restaurants need to re-evaluate their priorities, imo.

Dear wife of my so-called best friend: For the second year running, you have "forgotten" to invite me to your birthday drinks until the eleventh hour, because you "forgot" I'm not on twitter and wont see your posts there, despite the fact Ive not been on twitter and you have for many years now.

Dont toss a sulk when I have to decline because less than 24 hours notice on a Friday when i have kids means I might have other things on. Grr.

....probably not irrational at all, but eh.

FTR I'm loving parent Trayce.

People who say "this happened to x and I" instead of "this happened to x and me"

FTR I'm loving parent Trayce.

ikr!

still have some side-eye for her co-parent tho

me three!

<3 watchful mookie

Aw youse guys <3

where did "yaaaaaaaasssss" come from and has the perpetrator been murdered yet

I believe it came from black trans culture, which casts your question in a pretty depressing light.

yes cos clearly I knew that when I posted it.

probably one of those things that would be obvious if I heard it out loud rather than saw it typed by very not-back, not-transgendered people all over my feed

I believe it came from black trans culture, which casts your question in a pretty depressing light.

People from traditionally oppressed groups can be annoying as fuck sometimes, and it's okay to admit it.

I wasn't going for accusatory with my response, but if you dudes want to go with defensive then I guess that's fine.

I wasn't going for accusatory with my response

If true, this puts you among approximately .00000001% of ILX posters, so congrats.

if you dudes want to go with defensive then I guess that's fine

the other 99.999999% of ILX posters

errors in ebooks that i've paid money for. "High-gate" is one word. That it was split across lines in the hard copy version doesn't mean you can hyphenate it in the ebooks. "Myphonerang" is three words.

i'd submit fixes for these but i don't know where to.

oh yeah. in my experience ebooks are sloppy as shit.

navigating footnotes on iphone/ipad

Myphonerang should be a word tho

Businesses that offer free WiFi that doesn't work

^^ seriously the worst

Spent 12 bucks on this chowder
Could you please reset your router
Gratata

Hold music that is interrupted every 17 seconds or so by a spoken message. It's fucking mental torture.

I've said it before but ANY SEARCH FIELD THAT DOES SOMETHING OTHER THAN BE A BLANK FIELD THAT YOU ENTER INFORMATION INTO.

This would include:

• Search fields that already have information inside them, so 9/10 times you perform a search for "SEdowntown pizza placesARCH."

• Search fields that fake you out by appearing to have information in them, even though it's really some sort of ghost word that turns invisible once you set the cursor inside.

• Search fields that offer terms to use that are already in the database. You'd think this would be cool, but no. For example, I frequently use a real estate database to query. I'll start entering the address, and a drop-down will appear offering "JOHN KENNEDY", "JOHN F. KENNEDY", "JOHN F. KENNEDY BLVD", etc. when really, I'd like to search all of those at once simply by looking for all streets that begin with "JOHN " instead of having to do three queries.

• I don't expect to be able to perform boolean searches on every website, but I should be able to do simple things like use quotation marks to search for an exact phrase. Getting the result Couldn't find ""metallica bass tabs"" is ridiculous.

• Wikipedia, you're still on notice for making me actually have to click on the magnifying glass instead of just hitting Enter or Go.

• And search fields that aren't even search fields, just some sort of home key. Maybe I'm tapping it wrong, but I duuno.

Getting the result Couldn't find ""metallica bass tabs"" is ridiculous. a blessing

Listen.

> Wikipedia, you're still on notice for making me actually have to click on the magnifying glass instead of just hitting Enter or Go.

the skype web login has two fields. pressing tab to go from 'name' field to 'password' field submits the form, before you've filled in the password.

the 'name' field says 'name or email'. enter the email and it goes away and looks up the name and replaces your typing with that (after refreshing the page)

also, after resetting my password the website worked immediately, the phone app took 15 minutes before it let me in (same password) and it was 2 hours before the windows version would accept the new password.

"Yellow Cab, how can I help you?"
"Hi, I need a cab to <address>, thanks."
"(heavy sigh) Sir, the first information I'll need from you is your phone number."

OKAY THEN HOW ABOUT YOU ANSWER THE PHONE WITH "YELLOW CAB, CAN I HAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER, ALSO I AM A DICK"?

Which reminds me of another thing that happens ALL THE TIME these days (and which I feel like I must've complained about here before) where you have to set up a password online which you only get the parameters for after your initial attempt has failed.

• Search fields that already have information inside them, so 9/10 times you perform a search for "SEdowntown pizza placesARCH."

for years the #1 search term on my work's website was "Enter search text here"

Re the cab one, dont you have the system where it sees your caller ID and already knows that info? Where we are, when you call it goes "would you like a booking at your most recent pickup address of 123 fake street?". Especially handy if you drunkenly call from a mates landline at a party and you dont know their street address, ha.