I will keep doing, but not worth it! The 2016 Presidential Primary Voting Thread

lol, i had the same thought

"Please clap" has now become the saddest two-word utterance I've ever encountered.

yes to that title change

^^^ otm

you ppl are going to have a diff fave clowncar quote every week.

nothing will ever top 'please clap'. it is everything

This piece on Cruz is funny but worth reading for more than just the jokes.

There is no metric by which Ted Cruz is presidential. The only path to victory for a guy like Ted Cruz is through glitches in the electoral college only Cold War-era computer programmers and three borderline dead Ivy League professors with Henry Kissinger’s cell phone number know about. If Ted Cruz won the general election, his Iowa strategy suggests it’d be the most demoralizing win in modern presidential politics, like an A.I. beating you at Scrabble using words that haven’t been spoken since the 1920s.
Just imagine how creepy a win with Cruz’s methods would be. He’d win with an earth-shattering low cut of the popular vote. He’d win with 48 million votes because of some electoral college technicality in Nevada. He’d make bizarre computer-dictated moves like spending a month in Hawaii and never visiting the South. He’d be the first president to ever get assassinated for cheating.
He’s not cheating, of course, he’s just violating the spirit of presidential campaigning. He’s running a “the manual says I’m not cheating, and your mom says you can’t punch me again if I’m not cheating” strategy, and it’s just aggravating and phony as hell.

Was going to post the same request re: "please clap". New thread after New Hampshire?

i don't microfollow such effluvia

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, February 3, 2016 11:39 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i love this post

What's so weird about Cruz is that when I first heard about him he sounded like the perfect on-paper GOP version of Obama-- Hispanic (name, at least), from the West but also a Harvard Law grad who argued at the SC, taking on the Texas establishment candidate favored by Rick Perry.

But then when you actually see him and hear him it's like what the fuck is wrong with this guy

how is there no video of the please clap?

http://www.nbcnews.com/video/jeb-bush-asks-n-h-audience-to-please-clap-615035459591

xp
Do you "like it" like it, or "thread title" like it?

Arthur Chu has thoughts about Berniebros: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/feb/02/i-like-bernie-sanders-his-supporters-not-so-much-berniebro?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, February 2, 2016 11:39 PM (Yesterday)

arthur chu has a real solid grasp of the endless complexities of politics:

https://twitter.com/arthur_affect/status/669187312027217921

"Fraud! Fraud bad! Bad Cruz, commit fraud! See fraud run! Run, fraud, run!"

http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-election-trump-cruz-idUSMTZSAPEC23ZBL9YS

here it is, his Roxie Hart moment.

independent run? this is the 'not fair' stuff we barely dared to dream of

wow, the video of "please clap" is somehow even more pathetic than i thought it would be

yeah he should just go home.

Jon Schwarz ‏@tinyrevolution
Ted Cruz's biggest backer is a billionaire who also supports the stockpiling of human urine:

https://theintercept.com/2016/01/28/black-americans-for-a-better-future-super-pac-100-funded-by-rich-white-guys/

Well, he also supports the election of human feces, so that follows.

Assuming he had a sliver of a chance at this point, I think "please clap" would've be Bush's Dean scream.

"would be"

http://s15.postimg.org/ll6mekut6/bsfa.jpg

he** yeah

"Please clap." is such an amazing sentence. Jeb Bush's presidential run is worth it just for that. Those millions of dollars weren't completely wasted.

The description of the "please clap" video makes it sound like a ho-hum filler ep of network TV:

Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush has a light-hearted moment with a crowd in Hanover, N.H.

Has his posture always been as slumped as it is in that video, or have I just never noticed before?

http://dailycaller.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Romney-Bush-MELINA-MARA-THE-WASHINGTON-POST-GETTY-IMAGES-e1421103055550.jpg

jeb! is a lumpy man

"please clap" should be the new keyboard cat

please understand

now I have "All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You" stuck in my head ;_;

http://i.imgur.com/67GPaoY.jpg

“I’ll tell you when to laugh. That wasn’t a joke,” he half-joked.

https://vine.co/v/iJMWLXgY5Li

I noticed the woman behind him kinda doing a slow clap, but the guy half-hidden on the left is the one killin' me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdCYMvaUcrA

Based on the clip, I can alllllmost see "please clap" being an awkward attempt at humor if, like the woman behind Jeb!, there were members of the audience who seemed uncertain about when to begin their applause. But, considering his overall demeanor and the bullying he's tolerated and his general underperformance in this race, the horse is out of the barn on this one.

Yeah I imagine he in his mind is going for "Come on people you know you support this point! This is a good thing that you want." in a lighthearted way but coming from him it's impossible to reframe as anything but yet another example of a pathetic plea by a desperate man.

i'm sorry but i think jeb is funny and charming here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5J8RRXnUjk

good timing!

he really does have loser posture. he needs to unhunch those shoulders.

he needs some body work.

and santorum is out

now he'll have more time to do...whatever he does now

thinktank work.

Santorum earned $1.3 million in 2010 and the first half of 2011. The largest portion of his employment earnings—$332,000—came from his work as a consultant for industry interest groups, including Consol Energy and American Continental Group. Santorum also earned $395,414 in corporate director's fees and stock options from Universal Health Services, and $217,385 in income from the Ethics and Public Policy Center think tank.[87][133][134] In 2010 he was paid $23,000 by The Philadelphia Inquirer for his work as a freelance columnist.[87]

santorum-ejection.jpg

I'm buying a Jeb! T-shirt. Just letting y'all know.

to clap in

https://jeb2016.com/shop/lifestyle/guaca-bowle/?lang=en

Really sad how much effort Jeb!'s marketing department put into his merch, at the expense of actually having a viable candidate.