start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

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I just clicked on my junk mail folder for some reason and Yelp had sent me an email titled "We're Reuben On Up!" and I was filled with the sudden urge to kick my monitor.

how's life, Wednesday, 13 April 2016 12:43 (eight years ago) link

You don't appreciate rye humor like that?

pplains, Wednesday, 13 April 2016 13:39 (eight years ago) link

I walked past a Sweetgreen restaurant that had a "Beets Don't Kale My Vibe" sign in the window

Blowout Coombes (President Keyes), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 14:05 (eight years ago) link

I saw a tshirt saying 'don't kale my vibe' and I don't understand it

kinder, Wednesday, 13 April 2016 19:54 (eight years ago) link

don't is short for donut, vibe is short for vibrator, thus "Donut kale my vibrator". See?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GF8aaTu2kg0

μpright mammal (mh), Thursday, 14 April 2016 02:25 (eight years ago) link

I just clicked on my junk mail folder for some reason and Yelp had sent me an email titled "We're Reuben On Up!" and I was filled with the sudden urge to kick my monitor.

― how's life, Wednesday, April 13, 2016 7:43 AM (14 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

So much advertising/marketing tries to get cute with me that it sometimes makes me want to boycott humor.

human life won't become a cat (man alive), Thursday, 14 April 2016 02:55 (eight years ago) link

the name meghann. i don't love the h but the 2nd n sends me over the edge. apologies to any ilxor meghanns

Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 14 April 2016 17:16 (eight years ago) link

oh, it's like Megh-Ann? Never seen this before.

how's life, Thursday, 14 April 2016 17:26 (eight years ago) link

Facebook "suggested posts"

go eat a bag of vomit, jerks

i like to trump and i am crazy (DJP), Thursday, 14 April 2016 18:35 (eight years ago) link

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CgBcya-VAAA-pEe.jpg

I mean... WHY

Why are you showing this to me, do you hate me? Did I offend you in some way? AT LEAST GIVE ME THE CHANCE TO MAKE AMENDS BEFORE GOING NUCLEAR, YOU STUPID LITTLE VINDICTIVE ADVERTISING ALGORITHM

i like to trump and i am crazy (DJP), Thursday, 14 April 2016 18:37 (eight years ago) link

curious what the particular style statement you would be making is

Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 14 April 2016 18:42 (eight years ago) link

"I love Legos and Meshach Taylor's costumes in 'Mannequin'"

i like to trump and i am crazy (DJP), Thursday, 14 April 2016 18:54 (eight years ago) link

http://www.tennesseetheatre.com/lib/image/shows/650989_tt1.jpg

nomar, Thursday, 14 April 2016 18:57 (eight years ago) link

I also beg to differ that those couches remotely resemble mid century modern.

Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious. (Trayce), Friday, 15 April 2016 00:21 (eight years ago) link

I see that eric carle makes furniture now

We quickly ate the feast as to leave ASAP (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 15 April 2016 00:30 (eight years ago) link

First he builds it, then he releases a horde of hungry caterpillars to devour it

Check Yr Scrobbles (Moodles), Friday, 15 April 2016 00:36 (eight years ago) link

I've had three completely stupid incidents with revolving doors in the last two weeks. I hate them. They make men turn into macho pricks.

1) I went to get a sandwich. I came back into the building where I work, through the revolving door. The man in front of me loses his shoe somehow. I kind of manage not to smirk but then he turns around and glares at me: "Did you push that?" I say no, truthfully, there are enough people going through this revolving door so that there isn't a need to push at all, the door keeps turning itself. We both exit into the lobby of the building and he says "You did. You pushed the door." Now. Pushing a revolving door isn't something that would be seen as unacceptable in my experience but I didn't say that. I didn't push the door so I just said, No I didn't push the door. "LIAR!" This is a work environment, I don't get why he was so angry. Well I do, his shoe came off and he had to blame someone else.

2) It was raining a lot today. I felt good because I'd shown and then kind of taken a lost man where he needed to be. I guided him while covering him from the rain, sharing my umbrella. I was getting a sandwich again. As I came back in, through the fucking revolving door, the guy (a different guy) in front pushed the revolving door so fast that all of a sudden I knew that there was a problem. My umbrella was in the quadrant of the door but I wasn't going to make it so I had to let it go. The umbrella is now going around the revolving door by itself and I look like a dick.

3) Tonight at a different revolving door, near where I work. This one is a pain in the arse because it gives a lot of resistance. You have to really push it. I'd been watching this guy in a bright blue suit as we were both walking up the bridge to where we needed to be. He was drunk or something. He was with two very attractive tall women who were really into him. They were ahead of me and as they entered the revolving door he grabbed them both and the three entered the same quadrant. And stopped moving. Fuckers. This one needed pushing. They didn't push and I entered after them, minding my own business, I expected it to move smoothly and when it didn't I hit my head on the glass right in front of the super model blonde cackling her coke face at me.

kraudive, Friday, 15 April 2016 23:45 (eight years ago) link

amazing

Gatemouth, Saturday, 16 April 2016 03:12 (eight years ago) link

do you have a history with revolving doors? where are you that they're so common?

ogmor, Saturday, 16 April 2016 18:32 (eight years ago) link

Good question.

Jeff, Saturday, 16 April 2016 18:40 (eight years ago) link

I deal with a minimum of three revolving door usages every weekday so you have my sympathies, kraudive.

The most irritating issue I've had recently was when the newspaper dude dropped unbound stacks of the free daily directly inside two separate revolving doors, such that someone would have had to exit the building via other doors and pick up the papers for anyone to be able to actually use the revolving doors. Just...why.

I Pith On Your Quip (Old Lunch), Saturday, 16 April 2016 20:37 (eight years ago) link

Young ppl growing beards. it makes you look dishonest and weak.

before anybody defends this, might I remind you this is the irrational anger thread.

lute bro (brimstead), Saturday, 16 April 2016 21:47 (eight years ago) link

Blah blah projection blah blah

lute bro (brimstead), Saturday, 16 April 2016 21:47 (eight years ago) link

That's it. We're kicking you out of ISIS.

pplains, Saturday, 16 April 2016 22:40 (eight years ago) link

people who use the phrase "so and so debunked this" to discuss someone who merely offered a differing opinion on something subjective

Neanderthal, Saturday, 16 April 2016 22:45 (eight years ago) link

Hey ogmor, this is Canary Wharf, east london

kraudive, Saturday, 16 April 2016 23:25 (eight years ago) link

are there places in the world with high concentrations of revolving doors or is everywhere just filled with people who suck at them? everyone here sucks at using traffic circles but i can at least take solace in knowing britishers have some idea of how they're supposed to work.

qualx, Sunday, 17 April 2016 01:06 (eight years ago) link

people who use the phrase "so and so debunked this" to discuss someone who merely offered a differing opinion on something subjective

― Neanderthal, Saturday, April 16, 2016 6:45 PM (2 hours ago)

yes. And "we already destroyed this article on twitter" meaning that we had a morning of circle-jerky like-minded sneering at an actual piece of well-reported journalism

Blowout Coombes (President Keyes), Sunday, 17 April 2016 01:20 (eight years ago) link

ah ok, I am only familiar with the lifts of canary wharf thanks to the great beno - https://youtu.be/AcpUyPILN34 - but it seems like a sufficiently odd place yo generate a high number of such incidents

ogmor, Sunday, 17 April 2016 15:15 (eight years ago) link

people who use the phrase "so and so debunked this" to discuss someone who merely offered a differing opinion on something subjective

― Neanderthal, Saturday, April 16, 2016 6:45 PM (2 hours ago)

Do you have an example of something subjective someone else believed was "debunked"? That sounds frustrating but I've never witnessed anyone say that.

Evan, Sunday, 17 April 2016 16:48 (eight years ago) link

The other day someone was talking about the Gira rape accusations and someone indicated that his wife and ex-wife "debunked" or "refuted" the claims.

Neanderthal, Sunday, 17 April 2016 16:55 (eight years ago) link

Which while events like that aren't sure, the people referred to weren't present and could not "debunk" or "refute" anything.

Also lotsa blogs like "xxx debunks liberal myths "

Neanderthal, Sunday, 17 April 2016 16:58 (eight years ago) link

Sure = "subjective"

Neanderthal, Sunday, 17 April 2016 16:58 (eight years ago) link

I watch a lot of stupid ghost hunting programmes and the American ones seem to have recuperated the term "debunked" from their opponents, and often say things like "we debunked this orb being from an insect or camera flare", when what they actually mean is "we decided to say it was a ghost because that's the point of this programme".

emil.y, Sunday, 17 April 2016 17:01 (eight years ago) link

Oh God I hate those programs

Neanderthal, Sunday, 17 April 2016 17:04 (eight years ago) link

I love them, but I really just watch them to see how people can spin a story out of nothing. Also kind of enjoy psychic programmes for a similar reason (especially as some of them look SO shit at cold reading it surprises me they allow themselves to be filmed, even for a show that is positive about them), but every time I watch one of those I remind myself that they're actually conning people out of money and then I get sad.

emil.y, Sunday, 17 April 2016 17:10 (eight years ago) link

lmao @ "we debunked this orb"

lute bro (brimstead), Sunday, 17 April 2016 17:11 (eight years ago) link

xp otm and in that order

never had it so ogod (darraghmac), Sunday, 17 April 2016 17:56 (eight years ago) link

bands that don't spring for a damn rehearsal space

i mean, i love annoying the neighbors + wasting 30 minutes setting up as much as anybody but

lute bro (brimstead), Sunday, 17 April 2016 23:20 (eight years ago) link

"working musicians often play with multiple disjoint bands blah blah blah"

lute bro (brimstead), Sunday, 17 April 2016 23:21 (eight years ago) link

James fucking Corden. Little simpering, gerbil-faced kiss-ass.

a spate of non-fatal hammer attacks (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 21 April 2016 03:34 (eight years ago) link

Finally getting around to replacing the batteries in a clock that seems to have slipped from telling the correct time to still telling time several hours out. Surprised to find that it did seem to be continuing to run when I thought they normally just stopped and had the second hand ticking between two points.
But then finding out that the nail has gone into the wall which is presumably not much stronger than being plaster with nothing actually solid to it. NOt sure what you make a dividing wall out of but still hoping it would be a bit more solid.
So now got to work out how to get at the thing and get the nail out. It's a few feet up on the wall behind the kitchen sink so not the easiest to get at.
So loadsa fun

Stevolende, Monday, 25 April 2016 09:52 (eight years ago) link

So yeah wondering why a clock manages to stop long enough to rest its time when its just been sitting on a wall. Though it did appear to have some kind of web stuff across the back of it when I took it down.
& why walls are soft enough to allow nails to sink in them up to the head while you're trying to maneuvre a clock onto them where the clock's hung since it was bought a couple of years back. Blooming useless innit?

Stevolende, Monday, 25 April 2016 17:27 (eight years ago) link

reset it's time (to one about 4 1/2 hours out) while it's just sitting on a wall with nobody actually resetting it. But continue to run for at least a week afterwards.

Stevolende, Monday, 25 April 2016 17:28 (eight years ago) link

I've noticed my watch will stop for several minutes to several hours when the battery is getting low. And then start up again as if it's OK.

nickn, Monday, 25 April 2016 17:43 (eight years ago) link

Clocks with hands seem to struggle when the batterys low, well mine does anyway, I guess because on the 6-12 upswing of the second hand it hasnt enough power to move the mechanics against gravity? At least thats how my clock on a stand behaves when the battery is low.

Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious. (Trayce), Tuesday, 26 April 2016 08:19 (eight years ago) link

Saw the trailer for the "Independence Day" sequel and there's some scene where Jeff Goldblum is looking at some huge offscreen thing and says, "It has its own gravity." EVERYTHING HAS ITS OWN GRAVITY, MOTHERFUCKER. I wanted to punch the TV screen and, having thus punched, have the writer say, "Ow!"

a 47-year-old chainsaw artist from South Carolina (Phil D.), Tuesday, 26 April 2016 17:05 (eight years ago) link

Mozilla Firefox giving me some nonsensical propagandistic BS about how great it goes with Windows 10 on the day I have continual trouble with it.
Can't get beyond a dialogue box asking if I want it to try to stop script. Doing nothing when pressed and then popping up again.
Should I go back to Windows 7?

Stevolende, Tuesday, 26 April 2016 19:33 (eight years ago) link

Ipad app that wont work unless i update it, when there us no update available


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