start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

Whipped cream cheese

I remember staying at a big motel in western North Dakota a couple years ago at the peak of the oil boom and there were easily100 brand new giant white pickups in the lot dwarfing our Honda Fit. I was wondering the other day how many of them have been repoed since then.

people who refer to "rottentomatoes" as if they are the ones reviewing the movie themselves.

People who buy records to turn them into clocks.

― plums (a hoy hoy), Sunday, June 26, 2016 5:10 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I thought they made picture discs to cater to the clockmaking crowd. It's more static aesthetic than practical innit?
Or at least for some kind of wall mounting. Maybe framing?
Things tend to blur when spinning at 33 or 45 don't they?

I work next to a record shop and once or twice a week i hear someone exclaim that they have been so happy to find a copy of abbey road or never mind the bollocks etc. To do it with. For yhe people who shout about it, its never a picture disc or something to... ya know... listen to.

Also, noticing this thread. I've gone for my first holiday in years and at the beach in barcelona you have bear people try to sell you shit, like beer and water, or getting massage or braiding yr hair etc. I dont get irrationaly angry at these people, whatevz they provide cos their lives must be hard as shit. I just have a crazy reaction to the people who think a massage from a stranger on a beach in a different country is just cool. Omg ew. Im down with selling beers or whatever but being touched? Wtf?

I also have a similar beef in standardised shopping centres like westfield but on a beach its way worse.

https://www.instagram.com/p/0TTxoYDYfw/

xp. typically the dudes selling beer in Barcelona are doing so as a front for selling drugs

so sometimes the beer they have is the same one they've been carrying around all day, i.e. don't buy it

Oh def. I work in a place where there is a lot of drug/ addiction/ homelessness so i just apply the same rules.

I just cant imagine getting a massage from that. Likewtf? Personal space issues is gross as hell at the best of times...

people who say "whoa, spoilers man, not cool" when you post something as ridiculously vague like "wow can't BELIEVE what happened in that last episode of <tv show>, that was fucked up"

people who attend a conference call and refuse to put themselves on mute while typing away at 90 wpm. cos I really wanna hear your clackety-clackety for a goddamn hour, your loud advertisement that you ain't paying any attention.

the awkward way most vines are cut, just a bit too short to allow for a proper laugh

Base versions of professional templates littered with unnecessary apostrophes (oh I'm sorry, "apostrophe's")

my lifelong IA and secondhand embarrassment still has to be public q&a sessions and ppl's inability to ask short succinct questions
esp the ones with the long rambly lifestory intro like they decided right before "fuckit i'm getting my 15 min of fame while I'm at it"

― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl)

The televised q&a session is inevitably a maelstrom of fully justified IA (I'm thinking now of BookTV on C-SPAN2, but they're not the only outlet).

"I have a three-part question, and my third question has two parts..."

"Yes, English is my first language but I'm having a hard time putting a verb after a noun right now, so bear with me..."

"I'm a student at this university, so please ignore the fact that my question makes no sense whatsoever…"

And then you have the people who step right in front of the camera, typically clad in shorts and rock band t-shirt, who nonchalantly pick their asses, having no clue that they're being broadcast live across the country.

And then you have the people who don't understand how a microphone works, which is like 90% of the public and & 75% of the people in charge of the microphones.

And then you have the crew in charge of the sound, who have never done this before, apparently.

In my new flat, the hot and cold taps of the bathroom sink are the wrong way around.

You can sometimes swap the centre piece of the tap that says H or C. Otherwise you'll just need to get used to it.
Is there a conventional order to things or just what you're accustomed to?
I know there's conventional colours that reversing would make weird.

The colour tops are on the appropriate tap, thankfully. Not a big deal - more concerned that the shower is made for a person about 5 foot tall, and the shower curtain is too short. Lots to do, at least.

typically on UK taps the hot is on the left and the cold on the right.

it is easy to switch the lines back under the sink too

Man, I hate it when the news provides subtitles or even translators to subjects that speak heavily accented but otherwise perfect English. This morning they were interviewing a Russian guy, and the guy had impeccable English, however thick his must-kill-moose-and-squirrel accent. But after every line, the interviewer popped through the speaker to repeat what he just said. And I kept thinking, this guy spent so much time learning English better than I could ever hope to learn Russian, and you're treating him like he's not speaking English at all. That's aggravating.

The habit of news media to always list the maximum punishment for a crime for which a person has been indicted. "John Doe faces a possible 10 years in prison and a $500,000 fine" ... and he gets probation.

watching the Nietzsche documentary on bbc4 and *every other shot* was done using that tilt-shift technique that makes everything look like an n-gauge model village. stop it.

The (local?) phenomenon of treating "license" as a plural noun, as in "did you buy your fishing license?" "no, I don't have 'em yet." Infuriating! But the amateur etymologist in me wants to know how widespread the usage is — I've never heard it outside North MS/North AL.

I've never heard that!

Wouldn't know where to start - ending with 's' sound like most plural words? Rooted with "getting your tags renewed" on your car?

I've always assumed the former – if it ends with an 's' sound, it must be plural. I may have to take this one to Facebook to see if it shows up at all outside the local circle, and if it's common inside it.

the constant hawking in barcelona is really really annoying, it is one of the only major bad things about a great city. you have to walk at pace and with your eyes averted.

http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u120/kingkonggodzilla/Barcelona%20vendors_zpsvsiserhj.jpg

Sure, walk ahead and avert your eyes why don't you.

The (local?) phenomenon of treating "license" as a plural noun, as in "did you buy your fishing license?" "no, I don't have 'em yet." Infuriating! But the amateur etymologist in me wants to know how widespread the usage is — I've never heard it outside North MS/North AL.

That happens in North Carolina. It drove me crazy when I lived there. "Where are your license?"

Yeah, I just found this from a North Carolina tv station: https://youtu.be/2MbEcE5aBXM

I've heard it with words besides "license" that end in an "s" sound, but I can't think of any right now. xp

That reminds me of someone I know who used to refer to a single incense stick as "an inscent".

when you send an email that begins with a question and includes a request & the response affirms that your request has been fulfilled & completely ignores your question

i fucking hate it so much

Half of the responses I receive to email inquiries suggest that the parties on the other end are utilizing some kind of randomized autoreply. I have so many discarded, 64-pt "RE-READ MY EMAIL" follow-ups in my drafts folder.

Honestly, it's not even a plural sound, unless we've all gone back to Y2K spelling where everything is oddz and endz.

sending someone an email then watching myself walk to their office and say, "so i just sent you an email and..."

i am getting IA at the way regular, sane, non-foodie people are starting to talk about mundane foods in a foodie way

like a bunch of ppl in my office talked for like 45 minutes about hi-chews that someone brought in ffs
like 'ooh yes it's lime but it's more subtle and fruitier' like i swear they went on and on like it was a goddamn wine tasting
and they will talk about new hot dogs they've tried or hot wings etc, for fucking ever

i hate that foodie tendency in ppl who eat high end food too where they overdescribe everything but this is like, UGHHH STOP

well, if nobody else is going to applaud the hawking photo, I will

Tuneless humming.

Sorry about that (particularly since it's "Exit music (for a film)" (particularly particularly since it occasionally turns into tuneless whistling))

"no problem" or "no worries" in response to a "thank you." like, your self-absorption is such that you're going to assure me you weren't inconvenienced by what you did for me instead of offering a "you're welcome" or a less committed but still polite "of course", gah fuck you you selfish jerkoff.

ok that is ia. the actual content of phatic expressions is more or less moot. i never say "youre welcome"

as long as someone says something in return to thank you which denotes i acknowledge your thank you then what's the problem

the equivalent phrase in Spanish to "youre welcome" is "de nada" ("of nothing"), are spanish speakers all rude?

yes

i acknowledge your thank you

gonna start using this

when people say thank you I just tell them to eat my ass

I generally say "no problem" if I'm thanked in conversation. Now that I know it sandpapers map's ass, I'll say "definitely no problem."

xp lol

Oasis says "definitely maybe problem"

I say "no worries" a lot but not in response to "thank you", but usually when someone apologizes to me for something that's menial and that I don't think is a big deal.

thinking about it i only say "you're welcome" when im being sarcastic because someone hasn't thanked me