start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

"God...fuck this banana." < A thing I actually said this morning.

(In my defense, it was seriously a garbage banana on multiple levels.)

Was it... unappeeling?

^ cruisin' for a bruisin'

It fostered much loathing.

people who whine about a remake of a movie and don't realize their favorite version of the movie was itself a remake.

(A Star is Born being the latest offender)

Ha, I caught myself muttering at the trailer for the new Magnificent Seven, and then went "oh shit hang on".

lol yea I saw that trailer last week too

i don't think knowing about The Magnificent Seven's original provenance is any bar to wishing Hollywood would stop doing shitty remakes in the 21st century tbh

There's remakes, and there's "How many versions of Cinderella does one planet need?"

xpost I don't mind if people want to eyeroll at remakes (the last few I've seen weren't very good), but when someone thinks their favorite version of the movie is the original while grousing about remakes it tends to undercut their point a bit!

*when someone incorrectly thinks

There's remakes, and there's "How many versions of Cinderella does one planet need?"

― Mark G, Wednesday, August 17, 2016 3:09 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

have to wait until Baz has had his turn

sorry i drifted off into a horrified vision of Jack Black playing the comic relief in Peter Jackson's Seven Samurai and now i want to die a little bit

More importantly (heh)

I appreciated this

there are three types of pudding in ireland, viz; black, which needs to be good in order to be even ok but if good can be great; white which even when bad can only get so bad but even when good tends to be a little bland; christmas, which is p much always a y

I think complaining about a shitty remake neednt be about the 'remake' part

i wd find it hard to choose between black and white pudding but i don't disagree with what you're saying about them maybe

my sweet tooth isn't as sweet as yours i guess

xxxpost Vin Diesel in Justin Lin's "Enter the Dragon"

Gerard Butler in Christopher Nolan's Touch of Evil

Far be it from me nv to suggest youre too long away from the good black stuff

i will eat sub-par supermarket black pudding without complaint but there's plenty of the good real stuff in England, it was def a midlands thing when i was growing up

(took me a minute to realise you wasn't talking about booze tbh)

Yuck porter

boozin' noir

I get really disproportionately cross at food that's meant to be savoury but is really sweet. Often supermarket 'morroccan' style soup or whatever or sandwiches with overwhelmingly sweet sauce like hoisin where all you can taste is sugar. I find it really unsatisying like eating a biscuit instead of a proper meal.

Can't wait until the Olympics are over and these friggin' Google doodles are gone.

^^^^^

the worst

I mean they'll be replaced with other terrible Google doodles

i long for the halycon days when a google animated thing was a rare occurrence
seems all the time now

Not getting it together to eat that coconut before it went fizzy. Assume the milk fermented or something while uit sat on the bowl over the last week.
JUst had a chunk of it and now got a nasty taste in my mouth.
Wonder if it was just the effort in getting into the thing that made me check it was ok despite the milk having vanished.
Bummer.

Sunflowers I repotted continually tilting over in the wind even after i took them back out and broke up the roots.

Maintenance guy never turning up to give me a shower rail even with the people downstairs complaining about water dripping through the ceiling.
Should probably have done something about this years ago but hadn't realised teh water thing was any more fo an issue tahn me having to mop up the floor after every shower. I've got a short 2 panel door that means that water from the shower goes both over and around the end of it. Really bad design feature that has been a nuisance since I moved in here years ago.
The bath has at least finally been grouted/caulked which is another thing i should have got onto people about.

The bin unit having had its lock chipped off by the new binmen a month or so back now keeps getting filled almost to the roof with stuff somebody has dumped in it. Seems to be happening at least once a week. & bin area getting emptied n a Friday only to find it almost full on the next Monday. Looks like somebody didn't hear about the dumping until too late.
Oh yeah, the last landlord trying to tell everybody that they'd put a really special lock on the door that would cost exorbitant amounts to replace keys for. I think it was a mid price padlock. Not sure how long it took the binmen to chip it off either.

I'm pretty irked about the hand painted signage of the hippie-ish cafe on our corner - they finally put a plastic sign in where once there were cracked fluorescent tubes, yet the sign is 2 feet too short, so tubes are still visible, and the loopy lettering is crooked in that way that lettering goes crooked/slanted when you are 10 and writing Happy Birthday Stephanie! in a card, so many letters. Are rulers so hard to come by? Do collectives not care about signs and symbols? Did a 10 year old do this? I shout at the sky.

When an article that isn't written by some top long-form journalist needlessly has a long-form style intro, like "At 2:55 AM on a Sunday, Officer Joe McPherson is riding his routine patrol when a call comes over his radio. He puts his half-eaten turkey sandwich on the dashboard and takes a swig from the thermos..." but the point of the article is actually something about a new crime trend or statistical issue or something and you just want to get to the point. Even in the New Yorker it's started to bother me how many articles pointlessly begin with a "scene."

So does the cop finish his sandwich or what?

a startling new crime trend has caused a 22% increase in unfinished sandwiches by cops

Yeah, that trend's starting to get annoying. With a lot of these stories I just want a couple of bullet points, I don't need world building.

I hate when I go to read an interesting article and it turns out to be just a goddamn video

I feel like you only need to set a scene and introduce a character if the story actually unfolds in a dramatic fashion. If it's just like "Here's a cop eating a sandwich in a town, and then he has to respond to x" and the story is just about x, you don't really need Officer Joe and his sandwich.

Speaking of video, it seems like awful, hard-to-stop autoplay videos are back. I thought we killed that trend.

hah yeah it's funny sometimes when I'll be listening to music through my laptop on my headphones and I'll hear a dude talking and I'll be like "oh cool it's a narration part of the song like Vincent Price in 'Thriller'" and then I realize it's some dude talking about how he cured his gout

lol yes that just happened to me when I had rick ross on and there was some finance-related talking head video on bloomberg

for firefox you can go
tool -> addons

set shockwave flash to "ask to activate"

this will mess up ilm youtube embeds however

I'd be ok eliminating the long form of anything. Even novels should just be bullet points and tl;dr's.

J-school 101 is that a news story goes from the general to the specific, and a feature story goes from the specific to the general.

News: More sandwiches are going uneaten, according to authorities. [...] Patrolman Bob Bobberson, 32, of the Burpville Police, recently dropped "a really good reuben" on the 1400 block of Wilson Avenue yesterday.

Feature: Bob Bobberson watched the rye bread tumble to the pavement. "Oh, man," he thought,

If this is a new trend - that is, newer than the advent of Truman Capote / Joan Didion / Fear and Loathing / John McPhee style "new journalism," then it probably has to do with the current economics of news publishing in which journalists need to have a "brand" and a social presence or else they'll be replaced by bots.

News: More M&S sandwiches are going uneaten, according to authorities

An Anatomy of the West in Sandwiches.

This:
http://i.imgur.com/wQ8P01V.jpg

i would love a 20-year moratorium on those anecdote-of-minutiae openers

especially profiles that begin with a horrible description of the person eating wherever they were eating at the interview, or a description of the person's living room and hospitality technique

back on a timeclock at work which whatever, it's fine, it's a website deal ok cool

but

you cannot bookmark the page the timeclock is on, the dumb site logs u out as soon as you leave & it defaults to homepage no matter what you do

RAGE

… nec gemino bellum Troianum orditur ab ovo:
semper ad eventum festinat et in medias res

homer^^^ invents the sandwich thing, horace approves

we have to do timesheets at work and there has been a new system for about 3 months. we also have very small email inboxes. mine is constantly filling up because i send and receive a lot of attachments and don't want to delete right away. now every two weeks forever we have been getting reminders that timesheets are due with a bunch of stupid attachments telling you how to do it. i feel IA that the same job that gave me a tiny inbox also sends me tons of huge, unnecessary emails.

heh when we fail to submit one on time we get an email warning us that if we wait another week, they might *gulp* CC our manager on an email!

oh noes, the horror! I mean I always submit mine on time unless something freak happens and I understand perfectly why it's important, just seems like a very benign threat that isn't likely to get a slacker to move much faster.