Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

When you pass mustard, it's the only time you can say to it, "Come on, ketchup!"

and say it with relish

must ardently stop the urge

been battling a co-worker for two months - we need her to review a series of documents purely from an accuracy standpoint before we send them for editorial review. first time around, the first two docs that come back with her feedback was like 10% accuracy, 90% structure. I reminded her that wasn't her job and to focus on just accuracy of the information and she went back to work.

she finishes, and now it's more like 2% accuracy 98% structure/format.

at least she's consistent

omg

i'm losing my patience

with dog-person?

rly dont understand why ppl that are sick as a dog decide to come into work anyway

especially when they can afford to take a day or two or three off

I have not seen daylight today and have spent 90% of my day staring at either spreadsheets or brakelights

Plus some arsehole stole my milk from the office fridge

The CEO of our company posted a message on the internal social network affirming that the company would support any colleagues affected by the US travel ban and we somehow now have people from the American side of the business arguing, in the comments, that Nelson Mandela killed more people than Apartheid.

uggg

Ha

Stupid annoying co-humans man

like, Mandela personally or...

where were they radicalized?

He's a friend but my god this dude smacks his lips every two seconds on every call.

managers abruptly ripped me off my current project yesterday night and gave me a new temporary one with a whole bunch of assignments to be done by Monday or Tuesday, and all I got to work from was a 25 page document and some clumsily-assembled notes from a meeting. And the person in charge is out today. Had to eat half of today asking questions about the scope and requesting access to systems and trying to chart a course without much of a road map. And have people from my other project struggling to figure out how they're going to stay on schedule without me as it's a two-person job I just got yanked from.

totally need to quit the corporate world and become, like, a roadie or something.

Neanderthal, somewhere up the line from you is an executive feeling remarkably decisive and "nimble".

yep but we just got bought so maybe he'll be a severanced Exec soon

or maybe I will be! (well, the first part, not the Exec)

...and found out the premise upon which I had been operating for this project, which had been provided to me on Friday, was completely false. made my first deadline but had to re-do everything I did today. tomorrow there's another deadline and I have yet to receive but one of like ten things I requested and needed. was also told there would be models I could build from only to be told today oops, there actually aren't.

getting ready to Alan Smithee this thing.

Neanderthal, somewhere up the line from you is an executive feeling remarkably decisive and "nimble".

http://i.imgur.com/3FbMWNH.jpg

Not my office, but the fine facilities of Kurgo- maker of dog products.

But this one could be my office, especially on Fridays.

http://i.imgur.com/UvDCn53.jpg?1

Drives me bonkers.

yesterday i was unable to board a subway train because someone, at rush hour, was transporting their enormous dog, in a crate, on a trolley

pplains, stay strong

so that project I talked about above appeared to be going fine and today we're live. client decides NINETY MINUTES prior to opening to change the rules of engagement completely, demanding we go over all these things we didn't train on and do these things not even remotely in the contract. Idiot account Exec inexplicably AGREES to this shit without talking to anybody and then nobody forwards the instructions to us UNTIL AFTER WE WERE OPEN.

they scheduled an emergency meeting when we said "what the fuck" and I refused to do the work requested and said they needed to take it back to the client. Which they did, and at 2:30 I was told "sorry, they still want us to do this".

then I waited another 4 hours before I did it because I realized that it takes a Herculean effort to get fired these days and I just got the highest evaluation possible on my annual review so...fuck it

and on top of that Tijuana Flats got my UberEats order wrong AGAIN!1!!!!!! fukk uuuu

When co-workers come up behind you and whisper. I mean, there's literally nothing you can tell me that's worth whispering for.

we used to have this one when I was an entry level rep who would show up at your desk and immediately start asking a question without even bothering to check if you were on a call. I eventually stopped signaling "on a call" at her and would just let her talk and then resume talking to my customer so she'd feel stupid.

then again this is the lady who actually said "well according to my records, your mom's dead. you might wanna talk to your father" to a customer so.....

omg

I mean, if you want to rudely do a wicked own on your customer, I guess "you're mom's dead" is acceptable

LOL that reminds me of when I worked for a govt dept I wont name. Part of our assessments involved reviewing birth certificates. Now in Victoria in the 60s and 70s, adopted kids had their real birth details hidden but the cert itself had a code on it that meant ADOPTED if you happened to know thats what it meant.

Work colleague looking over a 50something mans paperwork cheerily says "oh so you're adopted!" to him.

He had no idea and was understandably quite upset.

that's like a comedy sketch about bureaucrats, just needs colleague saying "sir? sir??" because he's having a heart attack and can't respond

hahaha Trayce

omg!

Jesus.

holy shit

"Hi Dad! or should I call you FAKE DAD! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?"

Tbf, him being in his 50s, good chance he's already an orphan one or the other anyway.

O.M.G.

A manager sent out an email to everyone a little bit ago commemorating International Women's Day. Someone I work with who is kind of consistently a pain in the ass apparently didn't realize she clicked 'Reply All' when she responded: 'I’ll show my husband my b o o b s when I get home!'

Looooooool!

(I should note that one of the ways in which she's a pain in the ass is her inability to retain any pertinent work-related info no matter how many times it's reiterated. Such as, 'PLEASE STOP CLICKING 'REPLY ALL' WHEN YOU RESPOND TO DEPARTMENT-/COMPANY-WIDE EMAILS'. One hopes that she might have learned the lesson this time 'round.)

we've had our server go down when some idiot emails the entire firm about something because then 3,000 people start replying "take me off of this email chain" while replying all, then another 3,000 ironically write "PLEASE STOP REPLYING ALL" while replying all

Yeah, that happens about every three weeks or so in my workplace. And it's usually the same folks hitting 'reply all' every time it happens. I don't know how some of these people manage to feed themselves.

one of the times it happened it gave way to a really stupid urban legend that still goes around here.

so one guy basically gets sick of the 3 million emails, replies and basically calls everybody who was replying all "idiots" in the thread. and then people were talking about that and someone out of curiosity looked in our company director. He saw a guy who had the same first and last name (but with 2 minutes of research, was quite obviously not the same guy) and saw "terminated" next to his name, and starts a rumor that spreads like wildfire that the dude was fired for calling everybody idiots. It still gets brought up any time someone sends a snippy email ("careful - you don't wanna get fired like that guy who called everybody 'idiots').

*directory

i reply-all-ed once, died on the spot & immediately moved my reply-all icon to the other side of my toolbar so i wouldnt do it ever again

I insulted my ex-boss to another colleague of mine once on instant messaging while we were in a meeting with him. forgetting I was sharing my screen at the time with him.

fuck him though

My coworker was asking me what my dreams were. Um, nothing I feel like sharing at work???