start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

I ordered crab legs once during a client dinner cos it was on company's dime and I wanted to be adventurous, and having never had them before, didn't realize the sheer work involved!

I couldn't figure out how to crack them and eventually cut myself on one of the crab legs. went to the bathroom, googled "how to eat crab legs", came back out and pretended like I'd been doing it for years, while dabbing at the blood periodically.....

then later found out the client contact was a Birther so I suddenly didn't care what he thought of me

This Android phone kills me.

"Do you want to save your image to 'Photos' or 'Gallery'?" Motherfucker, what?

Yesterday, I finally got my v/m started and after loudly repeating my numerical password back to me (similar to nomar's complaint), it asked me to press one if I wanted my language in English or para español o prima dos.

No big deal, but I press one. The voicemail system then says, "YOU HAVE CHOSEN ENGLISH FOR YOUR LANGUAGE.... QUE HA ELEGIDO INGLÉS COMO SU LENGUA."

Why it tell me that I have chosen one language... in another language? I guess maybe if I was a Spanish-speaking customer and I had pressed the English button by mistake? But if I heard a robot tell me - in English - that I had "chosen Spanish as my language"....

I dunno, makes me IF (irrationally frustrated).

think i need more information on the good coleslaw you can't eat with a fork. scared this might be veering into "this is what good pizza looks like" territory

Mike's Hard Coleslaw

I don't know what kind of coleslaw you people eat but it is a spoon food where I'm from.

i always use a spoon at KFC

even for da chicken

I'm used to coleslaw roughy at this consistently. Even a little finer probably.

http://dfs015ujtdk5e.cloudfront.net/WordPress/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/slaw540.jpg

You could go at it with a fork, but you're going to need a spoon at the bottom to get all the slaw juice at the bottom.

Coleslaw is spork food, goddammit.

lol 'who ARE all these fucking people????'

― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Friday, February 10, 2017 3:03 AM (five hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Tracer gets me

i always use a spoon at KFC

― Neanderthal, Friday, February 10, 2017 8:24 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Coleslaw is spork food, goddammit.

― scattered, smothered, covered, diced and chunked (WilliamC), Friday, February 10, 2017 8:32 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Srsly, neanderthal. I think we've uncovered you as a spy.

So I go to a food truck on my break. There are no other customers. They take my order and I stand there waiting as they prepare sandwich after sandwich. Perhaps you should mention when I order that I'll have to wait 20 minutes for you to fill a phone order from a construction site. Or maybe you could just pause and make my fucking food since I'm actually standing right there.

crab legs googling kinda my favorite story of the week.

xp That's entirely rational. That is infuriating

Eating crabs - not just the legs - is A Thing in my region. One time, I found myself coaching non-English-speaking diners at a nearby table, using very bad high school French and lots of pantomime.

Like pistachios, it's a lot of work for comparatively little food, so it can be calorie-neutral (or even net-negative).

Anyway this is among the skills I had to learn pre-internet and pre-smartphone, so I am a little irrationally jealous of that story. So many things are so much easier now.

Like if you're on a date, and you see something on the menu you don't know how to pronounce, you can excuse yourself to the restroom and come back sounding all sophisticated like Bond, James Muthaflipping Bond.

Srsly, neanderthal. I think we've uncovered you as a spy.

― pplains, Friday, February 10, 2017 10:00 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i no tell special prosecutor, i no tell you

damn these new accordion style post-it notes, stanely kubrick is surely rolling in his grave

Aw, coleslaw is probably my main regret about becoming vegan. Yes, I know there are alternatives, but they're not the same.

I was all set to dig deeper into this 'unforkable coleslaw' topic, then I saw it was in the IA thread and thought better of it.

"Aw, coleslaw is probably my main regret about becoming vegan."

!!! you must have really really liked coleslaw.

how many tons of colesaw do you think are thrown away in those little white cups at restaurants every year?

IA for the day: the corner cafe is closed for Feb. It was the closest good coffee to my store. I don't like going to the Greek place. They have those pods of coffee. The bong store two doors down has dollar cappuccino in those machines and sometimes i do break down and get one of those. But that's not like actual coffee. So i go to the bakery across the street yesterday - which was friday - and i don't see the usual container of coffee by the door and i ask and they say they are out for the day. I leave and walk a couple of blocks to the co-op market. Which defeats the whole quick cup of coffee idea. Today i went back to the bakery to get coffee and they said they only have coffee during the week. ????

So i went to the bong store.

I really gotta clean out my old coffee maker at the store.

just wanted a coffee....

the bakery is sadly empty of baked goods too. and they are closed a lot. i think most of their business is wedding cakes? its kinda sad to walk into a bakery and see so little food.

I was about to post, "What about the place on the corner?" and realized you were talking about the place on the corner.

now I'm wondering if the bong store has coffee

yeah, brass buckle is taking a month off and regrouping.

x-post

i was so excited when i saw a bakery was opening up across the street. i thought it would be a real bakery. they have, like, cookies and some cupcakes. and then they do cakes and pies to order. but don't actually sell cakes or pies in their store. it's a bummer.

ffs scott i wasn't craving cake 20 minutes ago

People giving you a series of instructions that you'll never remember instead of just giving you a handy reference to look up

So essentially this: https://xkcd.com/783/ but with other things like recipes
'that's the Nigella Lemon Polenta cake, you can find the recipe on her website'
'great thanks, I'll do that'
'it's really easy, you just cream together 200 grams of butter and 200 grams of sugar'
'oh right'
'then you just add 3 eggs and 300g polenta, alternating'
'ok, I'll look it up later'
'but I use ground almonds instead'
'ok good tip'
Then add the zest of two lemons'
'mm'
'then just put it in the oven for 40 minutes'

FGGFGFGFGFF

That was my handover at my new job and you are otm

conversely when u give ppl a handy reference & but they for whatever reason abhor written instructions & prefer to continually ask you how to do a thing & your "it's the first part in the instructions i gave you" falls on deaf ears RAGE

I feel the same way about physical locations.

"Sounds like a plan, I'll be there. What's the address?"

"Well if you're coming from Broadway, you're gonna want to take a left on Fourth because Fifth is a one-way. Do that, go down about six blocks..."

"Ha, ok. I don't have a pen to write this down right now. Do you know the address?"

"These directions are pretty simple, you don't need the address. Anyway, six blocks, start looking for a brick apartment building. There are a lot of apartments around there so–"

i fucking HATE that. there've been a few times where people told me they didn't know the physical address, just how to get there, so I'd be like "k, when you find the address let me know" and walk away

used to hate the "just follow me" system for that reason - nowadays with GPS it's kinda not used as much but I was like "sure, it'll be fun getting stranded at red lights and being forced to drive close enough to you to prevent other cars from getting in front of me and cutting people off when you suddenly realize the turn is coming and erratically change lanes last minute".

Newspaper websites that fade the text after a paragraph and replace the test with a 'more' button.

I used to think it was to save bandwidth but they fill up the rest of the page with multiple other half-articles so it can't be that.

Test : text

yeah i think following ppl shpuld require a pre-interview & a practice run, at least some kind of screening situation

90% of everyone is terrible at leading a convoy imo

Example from trunk thread (and this is longer than most)

https://theintercept.com/2017/02/12/dark-essays-by-white-house-staffer-are-the-intellectual-source-code-of-trumpism/

Two more things:

Autocorrect. Coffee when I want code, code when I want coffee. Trunk when I want trump.

The Firefox text boxes which requires you to select something before you can paste the clipboard in, and which then replaces the selected thing with the pasted text.

Even if you leave a line before pasting it'll highlight the last word or punctuation from the last line and replace that.

Gimme an address and possibly a corresponding junction, or FRO.

I probably already complained about this one, but websites with slow loading images and ads. Everything jumps around on the page, and you try to click on something but you hit the wrong link because nothing stands still. Psjgapjgaljfapjfzkvz!

90% of everyone is terrible at leading a convoy imo

― Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, February 12, 2017 12:43 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

like the friend of mine in high school who was driving like 40-50 mph through neighborhoods as a shortcut and expected me to do the same in a Geo Metro w/ 3 cylinders

or our friend of a friend who would floor it through orange lights at intersections & leave us stranded, and brake erratically when moving through traffic

i wanted to slap her when we got out of the car

I use it as a ruse to get rid of people I don't like. tell them follow me, punch it to 100, losing them in the dust, move to a new town, change my appearance and ID

Hello world
punch it

(Wtf?)