start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

This on a taxi booking site filled me with confidence

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C6b_M4uU4AAzsqu.jpg

Wait...what happened to Elizabeth Shue?

immediately ahead of me in the long queue for the till at M&S (or wherever), after plenty of minutes waiting gazing (as blankly as me) in all directions, how are you now startled and fumbling when it comes to laying hands on a means to pay for your purchases -- THIS CANNOT HAVE COME AS A SURPRISE

word

this guy had not helped my mood a bit earlier by establishing his claim on the belt via a couple of items and then wandering off to find whatever he suddenly remembered he needed (and this i recognise we all sometimes do) -- except when he returned (with nothing, tbf perhaps he had just not found it), he eyed my items beadily and said to me "trying to queue jump eh"

well yes i was thinking about it AS YOU WEREN'T HERE AND THE GIRL AT THE TILL WAS WAITING FOR AND LOOKING IN MY DIRECTION but in fact my items are still behind yours and i had made no move AT ALL to make this outrageous coup a reality so fuck you (for reading my mind accurately)

Really deserves a pass-ag 'sorry!' delivered with best of British contempt.

Mean American response: 'if you're not in the queue, nobody's jumping you' or 'snooze, you lose.'

i was too taken aback by the accuracy of his perception of my thought-crime to respond! esp.given the sleepiness of the rest of his behaviour

(all of this belongs in the irrational reax thread bcz total time involved, inc. girl-at-till working with admirable dispatch = maybe three mins? only HyperKapital's super-ego could possibly consider me inconvenienced)

Somebody tossing an apparently sound children's bicycle in the communal rubbish dumpster. I think it was my next door neighbour.
I took it out and have donated it elsewhere but does get me that a thing like that would just go to landfill.
Seems to be a reasonably robust largely metal bike that appears to have one stabiliser missing, & that's not even part of the main structure.
Maybe it's just the fact that it's going to landfill, would just think a thing like that would be passed on to the next child or donated to a charity shop or something.
I found it in the dumpster and fished it out which might not be the first thing most people would do. But seemed like a major waste.

nicely done

when people do weird stuff to qualify for the express line at the supermarket.

I was behind this old couple who broke up their huge haul of groceries into two carts, each above the 15 item limit but not enough that they'd be called on it. One gets rung up then waits for the other. Then they block the bagging area while I'm being rung up trying to fit all their stuff into one cart.

Had to have taken them longer to do all that than to go through a regular checkout just once.

somewhere on youtube they're commenting "it worked!" on a "shopping line hacks" video

when cold callers -- in this case from 3 network -- preface their shilling by asking you how you are today

dumb small-talky comments about hair or clothing. i have a coworker that is an idiot and is vapid and she asked me at lunch "are you growing your hair out?" and i did not look up from my phone and said "no." i'm an asshole and i don't care, hi.

people who hand me a bag when i say "for here". it's almost totally random what you get, even if in the end I can still eat the food just fine.

also people who ask me to repeat the reason for my call after I already told them once.

harbl otm
imo

What does a line like that even imply, anyway? "I can see your roots!" or "your hair is a straggly long mess" is how I hear it lol.

i didn't think it really implied anything other than she always tries to talk about things i think are boring. her response was, "oh, it looks longer." of course, it is longer, but who cares.

If I work really hard and get my project number low, I'm given way more work. If I don't do any work, my projects go up anyway. So either way, you're fucked.

lol yeah that sort of pointlessness irks me as well.

LIFT TALK. Especially of the "whatd you do on the weekend?: blarbs on monday mornings. STFUUUUUU

we used to have icebreakers in meetings and my mentee and I have grown sick of them because they're always questions like "where would you go on vacation if money wasn't an issue" and everybody would giggle over the predictable answers.

they got to me last time and I said "Barge to Hell" and dead silence, just the way I wanted it.

^ LOL

I was once asked what I'd want to be if I could be anything. I said "a good person". Lots of "uh" looks.

she has this way of saying in an extra-fake feminine voice "heyyyy! how was your weekend?" and it kills me. i wanna be like "i slept too much, went to the gym three times, decided not to do laundry, looked at the internet, didn't talk to anyone, how about you"

one of my coworker friends is a manager & is super small talk chatty first thing in the morning, stopping by everyone's desk, asking about their weekends or whatever ... but she knows to keep walking past my desk bc I am not HAVING it that fucking early

i love her but srsly there is something wrong with ppl like that, so loud & chirpy at 8am good god woman

you people are my people

Opposite

I like talking about weekends and stuff now

my coworkers are good at remembering funny dumb stuff though. the old ones who were like "my kid went to soccer and i mowed the yard" are gone and i get "my two year old disappeared at 7am today and i caught him in the driveway drinking his milk wearing only a diaper and staring at the neighbor's house"

I nod, thinking that is my morning only with coffee instead of milk and no one came out to find me

lol

nice

quality thread this

I work in an office with mostly childless women who constantly ask me about my toddler and demand new photos all the time

My mind completely goes blank when someone asks me about my weekend. It was... fine. As best as I can recall.

Holy shit this chatty woman at the coffee shop constantly interrupting the barista who is politely trying to converse with her SHADDAP

xp: yeah, I can have a great weekend and have someone ask me that question and I just don't know what happened anymore.

I'm one of 3 in my dept who has no kids and probably the only one who isn't married or in a serious relationship so everybody else is all like "I took my kid to Beauty and the Beast" or "my husband and I went mini-golfing" and I'm like "I got kicked in the chest at Toxic Holocaust and drunkenly hugged a bunch of strangers"

Small talk is like 80% of my job some days, I think I just do it mindlessly now? Tbh tho I would much rather someone launch into a detailed description of something they're actually feeling than just mindless "positivity."

BACK PAIN. I know exactly what caused it (falling out of bed because one of my mother's cats turned out to be sleeping next to me when the alarm went off), but that doesn't make it any easier to manage.

I had this idea for some landscaping in the front yard.

I'm not a landscaper but I do have a back. It was an interesting idea on my part. I feel your pain.

i hate when people turn left when driving

appalling!

i hate it when people are around me, in general, tbrr

lol harbl on my scooter about two days ago I was trying to get home from work and yelling "NO TURNING LEFT. NO ONE TURNS LEFT" at the traffic up ahead. Feel ya.

Of course with my mouth hanging out the front of my helmet everyone can hear me so I should maybe stop yelling at drivers so much.

people who don't know how to end a business phone call. ie, spending 3-4 minutes with closing thoughts and never getting to the end.

usually after about 1-2 minutes I just hang up if it's an endless sea of "well ok hope you have a great day, let me know if you have any further questions...oh by the way"

I used to get IR at people honking when they drive down alleys. I figured, yeah, we can all hear you honking, but no one can see you or where you're coming from, so why even honk? Especially since honking makes most people rationally angry. But then the other day I heard someone honking down an alley, paused, and may have stopped myself from getting run over by said car emerging from said alley, so maybe it really does work, but only if you're in the right place at the right time, which is to say, about to get run over. Which is the most important time for honking down an alley to be effective, I guess.

"Honkin Down The Alley" - The Josh In Chicago Story

I hate alley honking. Just slow the fuck down and look for ppl when you are pulling out.

I curse all non-necessary honking