start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

people that decided to start getting fit 5 minutes ago giving never-ending unsolicited nutrition advice

NOBODY CARES WHAT BANDS YOU SAW AND THE ONE BAND YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE, FACEBOOK PEOPLE

Yeah, seriously, shut the fuck up, Facebook.

Speaking of which, I have a friend who constantly compares bands to weirdly specific but totally not helpful other acts. Like "have you heard the new album by (x)? It's kind of like early Don McLean." Or, like, "it's got a real Tuxedo Moon thing going on." Stuff like that. It's endearing, but the IA side of me hates it.

i'm toying with going back to facebook after ~8 years, loads of people telling me not to do it

I wish I had a shock collar that would zap me every time I looked at it.

Don't do it, this 10 concert thing is the lamest thing ever. Like, who the fuck cares which concert you didn't go to? There are entire concerts I can't remember seeing. Apparently one week I saw both DMX and John Cale, and I can't remember a minute of either.

"have you heard the new album by (x)? It's kind of like seeing DMX and John Cale in the same week."

I succumbed, but just as a time killer.

In 2017 fire alarms still do that chirping thing when the battery is low. But it stops when the battery is taken out. I'm probably missing something but witaf

one of ours is plugged into the mains so it only goes off in extreme circumstances, e.g. a fire emergency, using a frying pan for 12 seconds

Ours have all been pulled out of the ceiling bcs of aforementioned beepings. I keep telling other half its a reeeeely bad idea but....

there are… other ways

I smashed one up with a broom handle in an early morning reverse rumplestiltskin rage in front of the incumbent ms Mac in my younger days, nowadays I'm wiser and just keep spare batteries in the house

xps these ..... are.....plugged into the fucking mains. It's maddening.

new dn

so they chirp when the battery's dead but not when the battery's removed, and they're plugged into the mains? i'm guessing it's the same engineer who decided printers should stop printing black text when the cyan cartridge is empty

Suits ya do

Yeah that's the arrangement. Sfucked

it does suit me eh (although the "reverse rumplestiltskin" bit eludes me (in the most enjoyable way))

Guessing rumple was one jolly motherfucker

His tantrum was taken out on the floor, innit

oh of course yes

at first i thought you angrily unthreaded some gold-plated circuitry

Well that would just be nonsensical

the "ten concerts" facebook thing is great, it's probably something a bunch of editors are trying to spool into a story but failing because it's just personal experiences and how people frame them organically circulated. people who met each other recently are talking about being at the same show in 1999 and crap like that. it's the casual interaction facebook and other sites have failed to capture, and it crossses boundaries between ilm obsessive list people and people who casually went to some shows

like wow I can't wait for this to die down so I can see more content from my favorite brands and some posts explaining why Trump is breaking the law

I havent seen anything like that. Ive seen a bunch of people just making random guesses until they hit the right one by elimination, and a bunch of olds whining that theyve never heard of any of these damn bands.

wow that sucks

I've been cracking up because a couple people discovered they were at the same Dave Matthews Band concert in '99 and had a horrible time

another person got called out for actually having gone to see Coldplay, and they admitted a friend gave them and their fiance tickets. said friend was apparently very irritated when they got shitfaced and just made out through the whole show

lots of stupid, funny stories

haha I am pretty sure I was at a dave matthews concert in 1999 and had a horrible time

the best part is I was not at that concert, but I remember it happening!

there were a couple harmless but kind of irritating people in my photography class (I was a senior in high school) recounting it, and I can still remember one of them saying "...and we got up close on the side of the stage, and we were all like 'Daaaaave! Daaaaave!'" ... and that was the entire story

it was a cross between the proto-jam band types from one high school and some preppy kids who somehow went to our magnet school for photography despite their home high school being catholic who went to the DMB show

I believe I looked up the woman who said that a couple years ago on facebook and she was a yoga instructor or essential oils specialist

I can't stand the lists.

I can't stand the calendar month thing that comes up every once in awhile - "Okay, '4/9: Your First Time at the Mall' lessee, it was 1987..."

I can't stand what your porn name is.

tbh if I am ever in a porn production i am just using your real name

unless it's a comedy then I'm changing the last name to bonker

I'm always bemused by people who do all the quizzes on ename.com like "what unicorn colour are you" and "what is your real political party!!" and whatever, cos that shit is pure datamining for advertising/spam agencies. GOOD LUCK GUYS.

I like the lists. All of the ones I've seen posted up have had the type of good conversation mh mentions. Also it makes me nostalgic b/c it's very web 1.0.

Those ename "quizzes" really do suck, though, they're not even quizzes, they're literally just "please click on this and we'll spout some nonsense while we scrape your data". At least meitu and faceapp give you amusing pictures while they do it.

Ive been googling re faceapp to work out if theres anything suss going on there and havent found anything (i havent used it). Aside from the accusations of raceism.

it definitely lightens the skin tone of people when you choose the "hot" option, which is probably the racism bit (which is valid, I said that the first time I read it and they turned Rick Ross into an albino)

I didn't mind the ten gigs, one's a ringer thing because a) half of my friends are music writers or similar and b) silently judging the five women on my timeline for posting YOU GO GIRL memes as part of the marketing for their chosen MLMs was getting boring.

I mean, I don't bitch about it, but my least favorite part of an ILM poll thread is at the end where everyone starts posting their Top 50 Violent Femmes songs or whatever. I just don't care!

the whole thing is just "check out my music tastes", plus a dumb little game whose only goal is "please comment on my music tastes"

in other words, not very different from what we do here

yeah idk it's also a self-selector of whether you list the most recent cool shows, your favorites from when you were a kid, or the dumbest ones you can think of that make it genuinely hard to guess

tbh it's a lot more illuminating to hear about musical taste from people who aren't constantly cranking out lists, even if their tastes are pretty middle of the road. ilm lists are so specific that I'm not going to get into an interesting conversation with someone about how they ranked one song a spot higher than another on their best Gino Vannelli best singles list

judging by the people I see doing these lists, the joke is "Can you believe that I, a person with such impeccable musical taste, went to see Motley Crue and Bon Jovi in concert?"

Yeah, this isn't about taste, this is about randomly guessing which random show some person randomly (or intentionally) did or did not see. It might as well be a personality test. "Which State Fair Band Are You!?"

that's a bad joke and is 100% indicative of a particular attitude and a strong indicator of how that person views their tastes and is distinctly triangulating them against that joke entry!

how is it not about taste when it's nine "look at my good taste" entries and one "this is distinctly a joke" entry

Because a bazillion of them are "look at these ten shitty acts, guess which one I didn't see."

This is what my feed has looked like this week x 300:

http://i.imgur.com/42SO3N6.jpg

well I bow to your bazillion facebook contacts, my focus group was a lot smaller

I have such few Facebook peeps, and they were all posting this nonsense.

I've seen 11 of the acts on that grave, can you guess which ones?!

I don't really care to *scrolls*

would encourage anyone who dislikes this meme to do a version with skynyrd as their fake