Real England

"St. George was born circa 280 in Cappadocia, an area that is now part of Turkey."

people keep quoting that but nobody points out that dragons aren't real

Back then weren't saints a bit ten a penny anyway? All you had to do was get executed for being a christian god-botherer, and there was plenty of that going on.

yeah, most of them were probably dicks, the Roman governors tended to do anything with their power not to execute people just for being into weird religions

what St George's day needs is a well-branded national beer, something that instantly conjures up connotations of Englishness in the same way that Guinness has attached itself to Ireland.

suggest Stella.

meanwhile, it's the 375th anniversary of Hull telling Charles I to do one

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/18056630_1441284965932707_1529920356464001856_n.jpg?oh=f9e0b2f3dd2b5b2df560825adbf7824d&oe=598B00A8

Patron fucking saints, I ask you. Two centuries after the French Revolution.

https://twitter.com/liam__whu/status/855441195270631424

Lad on the far right, what's he up to?

he was holding a tray of drinks to offer their guests

best one:

https://twitter.com/bubsyboy555/status/855506470498074624

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C-HXt5zXoAAuOwp.jpg

"I am willing to fight a champion put up by the DVLA if they want to accept my challenge – but they must remember it is a fight to the death.

"The victor speaks in the name of God and justice so it is a reasonable enough way of sorting the matter out.

"I know I am in the right so I do not have anything to worry about. I am reasonably fit and not afraid of taking anyone on in a fight."

Traditionally fights under the trial by combat law used to be settled by combatants wielding swords, lances or staves with iron heads.

Former seaman Mr Humphreys said he was unsure which party would have the right to decide on the weapons used if the DVLA accepted his challenge.

But he added that he was prepared to fight with Japanese samurai swords, razor sharp Ghurka knives or even heavy blacksmith hammers.

Two years ago Grimsby fans threw dozens of beach balls and blow up footballs onto the pitch at Barnet when both teams were in the Conference.

One fan was later found guilty of assaulting a football steward with an inflatable shark.

The display was part of a protest after a fan was ejected from the ground at Forest Green Rovers for failing to hand over an inflatable football.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/39694197

this has been doing the rounds:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdUoZJvdipA

https://twitter.com/DreamboatSlim/status/855920932359208960

http://www.merciatouristboard.org.uk/

ohmygod it's 2003

https://i.imgur.com/5J3xdJG.jpg

lol

http://i.imgur.com/YNOCIbA.png

pothole bday cake <3

which one is gus tho?

never mind that, how long has Jamie Oliver been a bishop?

that's dog latin, silly

Relegated Port Vale have received an offer from a Burslem-based IT company to buy the League One club.

Following owner Norman Smurthwaite's decision to stand down as chairman, Synectics Solutions have made an offer of £1.25m, reports BBC Radio Stoke.

Synectics Solutions is owned by Kevin and Carol Shanahan, from Stafford.

LOCK, STOCK & TWO SMOKING BARRELS
1st & 2nd June

Watch some of Guy Ritchie's greatest work in our perfectly preserved 1930s council chamber. To top it off, we'll also be collaborating with Joe and Kim of iconic F. Cooke who will be serving up pie and mash straight to your seat. We're aiming to offer a real East end experience, so you can expect all the liquor and jellied eels too!

TICKETS ARE £30 PER PERSON
AND INCLUDE:

— East end arrival cocktail by our resident cocktail bar, Peg + Patriot
— Meat or Veggie pie with mash (liquor on the side)
— A seat to our screening in our 1930s Council Chamber
— Takeaway MAST x Town Hall Hotel chocolate bar

^ Fake England, surely?

nothing more real england than a fake england tbf

right, the careful and therefore in some sense fake curation of englishness for an audience who are english yet feel detached from it, both there and itt is surely the essence of real englishness

liquor is so grim. but then I was a fake Londoner

http://www.letchworth-go.org.uk/sites/letchworth-go.org.uk//images/letch01.jpg

I unno, I think a lot of non-English Londoners I know would be keen to see a Guy Ritchie film in an "authentic" environment, don't know whether that disqualifies it or not.

i think an analysis of the true character of any nation would lead you down the same rabbit hole; any search for realness and authenticity brings you to the same place re: the insecurity of identity

what better way to enjoy a real east end experience than to spend £30 to scarf jellied eels while watching a film directed by someone from hertfordshire whose mum was married to a baronet

and whose one big idea was 'tarantino but with more OI OI SAVELOY'

I just saw some cheering clickbait headline that his attempt to make some mockney King Arthur franchise is a massive flop + set to lose £100m.

OI OI CAMELOY

needs work admittedly

serving up pie and mash straight to your seat

in honour of leo baxendale

I was thinking more of it arriving like the Grange Hill titles.

brb gonna modify a t-shirt cannon to fire hot stodge at willing punters

one of the things Barthes does in the essays in Mythologies is explore a 1950s French experience of reflexively seeking authentic Frenchness so yeah this is definitely not unique to England.

not that this thread has ever been about the idea that dislocation from a national identity is uniquely English, we're just documenting the uniquely English expressions of it

https://68.media.tumblr.com/929814d75e2b7ef3d8962d0e7ba24b87/tumblr_oqms5vmhJK1utw2woo1_1280.jpg

The nudity, the fact that it's a waterpistol ...

That Mercia Tourist board website is terrifying.

been reading stories with the title 'I Am English' on experienceproject.com

I Am English

English Not British! I really hate it when you get those equal ops forms and you have to tick White British. I was Born in England. I Live in England which is part of the British Isles yes, but I am English.
I cannot be British because for that to be so, my Mother would have had to be an extremely talented woman. She would have had to have given birth in all the countries in the British Ises, all at the same time, which isn't really possible is it?

RobertaSunsetRobertaSunset 36-40, F 71 Responses

I Am English

Woo Engfuckingland So I was born In England raised in England live in England I'm getting bored of England :/ it's such a boring place how can anyone like it?? Only thing I care about is that Im desendant from Henry Tudor and Elizabeth of York but still England's a shithole

freemistfreemist 22-25, F 15 Responses

I Am English

Hey ladies are there any fun ladies reading this might me up for a chat if that's you why not message me back?

teddyboylovesboobs1teddyboylovesboobs1 41-45, M 1 Response

i work with a Teddy Boylovesboobs

I Am English

Good day yeoman folk of perfidious Albion..

I'm looking for chatter, amusement, verbal jousting. Fun and guffery in all its forms..

And human contact. Lordy yes.

Despite being a married man with oodles of kids and a full time job in a people facing profession the loneliness is palpable..

deleteddeleted 26-30 1 Response