start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

^^^my mum used to do this, less the explosion than the lead up to it, she sounded like melanie griffiths in when harry met sally >:(

i am a loud noseblower i fear but that just makes ppl laugh on the bus

I'm a loud sneezer but I'll work to better myself

People who work at theme parks seem to think that everybody else is so interested in their fucking theme park life.

Performative sneezing. There is no need to engage your vocal chords at all, let alone make everyone in the room jump and frighten small children.

I was just thinking about this in bed this morning after scaring the shit out of my cat.

At work I was sitting in on a trial for almost 2 months, during which time I struggled to sneeze not-too-loudly. It couldn't keep from engaging my vocal cords. Usually I tried to muffle the sound by sneezing into the crook of my arm, when I could catch it in time.

It's definitely gotten worse with age, but IDK why.

tbh I find people who suppress their sneezes worse, I always fear they are doing themselves damage.

Oho god yes especially when they hold their nose!!! You'll damage your eardrums!

I did that a few times during this trial and it hurt my ears and eyes and sometimes it. Lee out my mouth, making a raspberry/motorboat sound. Far worse.

Let the wind go free, wherever thee may be is my own philosophy. But with a beware the follow through cautionary nb, that should be applied more rigidly to farts than sneezes imo.

tv characters who are only famous when it suits the story (frasier being the obvious example). right now i'm watching some terrible chinese drama with a woman who in one episode is so gobsmackingly a-list she has to wear giant sunglasses everywhere, and in the next episode so anonymous she can chuck a tanty in public and go totally unnoticed, and it's really getting up my arse.

otm. Also, when a tv show decides that characters aren't working and sideline them (like the kids in Designated Survivor) but then make sure that the remaining characters mention them in every episode so people don't get upset or something

*googles "chuck a tanty"*

Makes me angry when houseguests empty the dishwasher but put everything away in the wrong places. It's cool that you're helping, but just ask! Because now it's a household scavenger hunt for me, which is extra work, often when I least expect it. (I'm looking at you, missing oval yellow Fiesta ware plate.)

See, my IA begins when they put the items into the wrong places inside the dishwasher.

public restroom design makes me IA -- like the handtowels are over *here* but the trash can is over *there*
it's just ridiculous to me that they're not side by side. or the handtowels directly above the trash can.

AND don't make people walk across these huge weird bathrooms just to dry their fucking hands!

it drives me crazy. most of these places are new and it's like, okay great you have a copper basin and a fancy floor to ceiling mirror but your floor is covered in water and there's trash everywhere good job

that walk is part of the air drying process

Makes me IA that if I ever have to use the public restroom at the station while switching trains I end up getting chased out by screaming psychotics for disturbing their reports to homeworld while security guards look at their phones and drool.

Makes me angry when houseguests empty the dishwasher but put everything away in the wrong places. It's cool that you're helping, but just ask! Because now it's a household scavenger hunt for me, which is extra work, often when I least expect it. (I'm looking at you, missing oval yellow Fiesta ware plate.)

― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, May 4, 2017 9:53 AM (two hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i agree. when you are a guest in my home, don't worry about doing anything. when i go to your place, i want to relax and enjoy myself as a guest, i don't want to do your dishes

See, my IA begins when they put the items into the wrong places inside the dishwasher.

This is where it begins! Actually, this is maybe the second or third step. The first is them leaving glasses and dishes and mugs all over the place, so you can't tell whose is whose and which are still clean/in use. Then you put them in the dishwasher, and an hour later there are new glasses and dishes and mugs all over the place, which if you don't catch they load incorrectly into the dishwasher, along with other things. And then you have to run the washer, which you've been doing twice as much as usual because there are more people, but if you're not fast enough they put away the clean stuff in all the wrong places.

This past visit, I had guests fold our dinner napkins ... after dinner. It wasn't until I went to put them away that I realized they were dirty. Thanks for nothing, assholes. What are you, three?

Don't even get me started on dishwasher SOP's.

my IA begins when I have guests in my house tbh

I honestly kind of like when guests put dishes away because it makes me ponder the arbitrariness of some of the organizing principles my wife and I have organically developed over the years, like why these two coffee mugs go on the small shelf next to the sink while all of the other ones go in a cupboard, where the use once a day vs. once a month utensils go, etc.

People who grumble about other people taking elevators for fewer floors than they think is enough. Especially since so many stairwells have restricted access.

i thought this very thing on the way out this evening. specifically because someone ducked into the stairwell to use the secret freight lift rather than waiting for the (busier, slower) main lifts. for only two floors.

it drives me crazy. most of these places are new and it's like, okay great you have a copper basin and a fancy floor to ceiling mirror but your floor is covered in water and there's trash everywhere good job

― Yoni Loves Chocha (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 5 May 2017 02:19 (six hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

those basins which are just a flat sheet of granite mounted on a discreet angle, and when you so much as nudge the tap water smashes out full-bore and goes absolutely fucking everywhere

i get it, it looks nice, really it does, really, but now i have to go back to the table looking as if i've just catastrophically soiled myself

Wear a rubberized apron?

to a swish restaurant

dare to be different!

I once was a secret diner at a well-known Chicago restaurant group. One of the things we were told to look for was not just the state of the bathroom but the last time someone initialed the cleaning chart (usually hung on the back of the door). It's kind of amazing how closely sloppy/soggy bathrooms correlate with, well, no one cleaning it on a regular basis. I hate overflowing trash bins even more than I hate lack of hand towels, since I feel like I'm part of the problem tossing my trash onto an overflowing pile.

Anyway. Something else that makes me IA are stores (like the craft chain Michael's) that are constantly offering generous coupons rather than just lowering the price of their fucking products. So rather than simply going to the store and buying what I want at a reasonable price, I have to waste my time navigating fluctuating sale prices and digging up coupons on their slow-ass site. Yesterday I wanted to buy a couple of poster frames and had to hang at the register for like 5 minutes tracking down the right 40% coupon on the Michael's website on my phone, until eventually the clerk asked one of her fellow clerks if she had any of the 40% off coupons she could borrow, and her fellow clerk passed her some crinkled coupon that had been printed at the base of a receipt. If I'm in Michael's, and the coupon is not some hard to come by get but a prominent, regular offer on the store site, and the employees know that, and everyone has to wait while the phone slowly loads up this not secret coupon, and then they give up because they have one handy in a drawer somewhere, because this clearly happens all the time ... then just lower the prices a little in the store and have an occasional sale like normal stores, you jerks.

Also annoyed that Old Navy sends me sale updates and promotions literally twice a day. Twice a day! That's at least 10 different sale offers a week. I need a chart just to figure out if it's the right time to buy a cheap shirt. (I'm also annoyed that Old Navy stores set their own sales and promotions, so that even if an item is on sale online for like 50% off, that item is at full price in my local store, forcing me to further complicate things by juggling what I want to buy in person vs. online from what is essentially the same place.

Whole Foods recently started offering more coupons, but you need their app to access them. That's annoying, too. I don't want all these stupid store apps on my phone.

YES about the coupons. There's one big store here that sends you paper coupons and has some different ones on their app then other ones on 'voucher codes' website and then you can also use cashback sites and cashback cards and collect bonus loyalty points.
Admittedly I am somewhat of a master at navigating these but they should just do what other sites do and put various codes on their website homepage or keep a stack of coupons by the till in store.

Saw an interesting article years ago about how more upscale brands can't lower prices because then they won't be seen as premium but they want people to afford to buy their stuff so there are always always vouchers/huge discounts. E.g. Body Shop, Pizza Express.

^^ Bed Bath & Beyond. "But if we lower our prices, people will think we're Sears!"

Non-OCRed PDFs.

Legal document productions without Bates numbers.

Although OCRed PDFs can be a bit of a crapshoot too, tbh

Just export the fucking document to PDF already, it's not 1996.

i hate the wasabi soy sauce slurries ppl make at sushi restaurants. all my coworkers do it and it grosses me out so much

^ cosign

also, putting a fucking lake of soy in your dish and soaking your norimaki in it, it's not a contest to soak up the most soy people.

otm

one guy made his slurry so thick it was like paste i nearly barfed

What are the origins of the soy wasabi paste? That's how I was taught when I first started eating sushi in the early 90s and I remember it was a few years before anyone pointed it out to me.

You guys are missing out. I do that and then drink the slurry when I'm done.

Love that slurry tbh

xp experimental unintended slob consequences of having a squeeze of wasabi at the side of one's little soya saucer? There are heathens who also introduce PICKLED GINGER into this mess, argh....

That's a step too far.

Fellow fitness center users: Please do not linger on the weight machines. I am trying to complete my workout and go home.

i read the synopsis of the Cate Blanchett movie "Manifesto" and it sounds like the worst thing ever created

Fucking people talking to me at work and EXHALING INTO MY FACE or HEAVING A GREAT SIGHING BREATH ON MY FUCKING LUNCH.

Use your nose, mate, it's why we've got the fucking things.

people who see news about murderers/rapists and reflexively yell "lock them all up" or "hang the bastards". is it a statement or a command? who are you talking to? who do you want doing this? your tabloid newspaper with monosyllabic headlines in 144 pt text, a telepathic politician, the air, what?

*waits expectantly*

<some time later> "why are they not all hanged? i put forth a decree last thursday"