start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

You guys are missing out. I do that and then drink the slurry when I'm done.

Love that slurry tbh

xp experimental unintended slob consequences of having a squeeze of wasabi at the side of one's little soya saucer? There are heathens who also introduce PICKLED GINGER into this mess, argh....

That's a step too far.

Fellow fitness center users: Please do not linger on the weight machines. I am trying to complete my workout and go home.

i read the synopsis of the Cate Blanchett movie "Manifesto" and it sounds like the worst thing ever created

Fucking people talking to me at work and EXHALING INTO MY FACE or HEAVING A GREAT SIGHING BREATH ON MY FUCKING LUNCH.

Use your nose, mate, it's why we've got the fucking things.

people who see news about murderers/rapists and reflexively yell "lock them all up" or "hang the bastards". is it a statement or a command? who are you talking to? who do you want doing this? your tabloid newspaper with monosyllabic headlines in 144 pt text, a telepathic politician, the air, what?

*waits expectantly*

<some time later> "why are they not all hanged? i put forth a decree last thursday"

I remember working at a Minnesota liquor store after Jeffrey Dahmer got sent to prison for life without parole. A woman I worked with was all, "He should DIE! He should die THE EXACT SAME WAY as his victims DIED!"

And I was all, well where in the hell are you going to find someone willing to do THAT job?

an eye for an eye, a nude corpse polaroid for a nude corpse polaroid

well where in the hell are you going to find someone willing to do THAT job?

ahem

http://cdn.bloody-disgusting.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/dexterbanner.jpg

Part of my uneasy relationship with televised entertainment is that I can't quite watch Hall in "Dexter" in complete isolation from my memory "Six Feet Under." Yes, I realize he is an actor, but on some level I'm a bit uneasy - never quite reconciling the idea that he might have to kill someone, investigate the murder, and also serve as mortician.

back when we MADE things in this country

The fucking pause button on youtube is located too close to the goddamn progress bar and about half the time I go to pause a video these days, I end up scrolling the progress bar back to the very beginning. I don't think I used to have this problem, but it's happened to me like 10 times in the last week. Absolutely infuriating.

and space is too close to period on iphone keyboard :o

harbl otm, even on the larger iphone plus screen i find myself tapping period instead of space like 25% of the time

I don't have an iphone, but for me it's space and 'b'.

thatbshitsbmebtobtears

iphones are also fucking stupid in that the control centre is forever firing when i don't want it to and forever ignoring me when i try to make it fire. and when i try to press-and-hold the keyboard button to select a keyboard, the control centre leaps into action and whole thing goes haywire. who the living fuck designed this.

https://timedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/jonathan_ive_opener2.jpg

'if you want a vision of the future, imagine a control centre leaping unbidden onto an iphone screen - forever'

my gas company has sent me three emails telling me about their new logo. I DON'T CARE. shut up and do my gas.

iphones are also fucking stupid in that the control centre is forever firing

The wut now?

the button panel that slides up from the bottom

some of those automatic sinks, you wave your hand in front of the sensor and put your hands under the faucet, and the water comes out for about 4 seconds before it shuts off again. it's the small scale version of hard left turn signals that last for two cars when ten cars are lined up.

stingy AirBNB hosts. this guy I almost didn't want to stay with because he had a list of house rules that looked like a manifesto, but for $16, I said what the hell. he sent pictures in advance warning everybody not to knock on other people's doors and ask around (which sounded like an absurd thing to do, so that was fine). he has a coded lock on the door and gives the instructions. easy!

so I get here and there's a dog in the fenced yard, which is weird as he made no mention of it. I wanted to be careful as I didn't want it to accidentally get out of the gate, and I wanted to double check the house. Looked at the pics, it's legit, so I go back and then get uncomfortable as two people in a parked car are staring at me - so I idled for a second with my shoulder bag, and then just decided to go in when the owner arrives on a moped. The guy in the car gets out and talks to the owner and so I just follow behind, and then the owner looks at me with a confused, concerned glare:

him: "Yes? can I help you?"
me: (already rattled - see Severe Anxiety thread)'is....is this AirBNB?"
him: "huh? what?"
other guy: Yes it is
him: YES this AirBNB! what did I send you? huh? I sent you pictures, right?! I told you don't go asking around about the place!
me: (confused) I didn't!

then he asked me my name and was cool after that but it was like....you literally glared at me like I wasn't supposed to be there and asked me if you could help me!

and then the next guy shows up equally confused and he is the friendliest dude in the world to him. maybe if I didn't walk around looking like a homeless devil worshipper i s'pose

his anger is irrational but yours is rational imo, that's bonkers

He also has been whining that none of his guests have invited him to go out partying

Air B&Bing is illegal in some circs, maybe he's not meant to be subletting/has had neighbours complain, it'd explain the rampant paranoia.

I kind of wondered about that.

also it's funny, the dude has like 7 or 8 properties listed, I happened to pick the one he showed up at

IDK if this is exactly on point with the thread, but it's at least close: I feel like there should be a term for the modern experience of feeling rage against a customer service person who you rationally know is not at fault for your situation, yet is the only available human representation of the faceless corporation screwing you. I just for some reason participated in a phone survey about my healthcare plan, and the questions dealt with "satisfaction" in ways that really didn't address the greatest source of my dissatisfaction -- the high cost. Also one of the questions was "How likely would you be to renew your plan?" (mine is an employer plan), and I was like "You mean if I had a choice between it and another plan, or between it and no insurance at all?" Because I don't actually have a choice. But the question did not allow for that nuance. DURRR

the questions dealt with "satisfaction" in ways that really didn't address the greatest source of my dissatisfaction -- the high cost.

this is like when twitter did all those surveys asking us a load of questions about our brand awareness of its corporate clients, and nothing about whether we were satisfied with all the fucking ads

e.g "how likely are you to buy products/services as a result of a promoted tweet?" with no "what you mean the corporate shill account i blocked six months ago" option

coupons masquerading as bargains but arent

old navy coupon that looks like $40 off your next purchase but is actually $40 rewards money when you spend $100, that is then redeemable on the purchase AFTER that purchase and it's like... just do a coupon & stop yanking my chain
and stop trying to make me sign up for shit

also, don't offer me a cashback deal that i have to send away for, give me the discount now, in the shop, with your hands

you know what just gimme the cash, I'm not buying your stupid product ANYWAY

LIDL exit automatic door opens rapidly to a point too narrow to exit through then slowly continues to a point where you can.
Think this is a recent development and first response to seeing door begin to open is to walk towards it and expect it to be open by the time you reach it, which it wouldn't be.
Seems to have been doing this for the last couple of weeks so surprised that nobody from the shop has noticed it. Presume that customers will think it's a minor thing not worth walking back in to complain about. So wondering if anybody has actually collided with the not yet open door yet.

It drives me up the wall when for work I have to submit a ticket with a vendor to fix a problem, then I get an email that my ticket has been closed, with no other information and the problem is not resolved at all, and then I get a barrages of emails asking me to rate my customer satisfaction.

I hate when people talk to me - shut up! If you need to communicate send an email!

also dont shuffle along outside my door - just walk you fuckwit!

• The local newspaper will have some headline on their front page that says "Man Drives Car Off Cliff" and I'm like holy shit! But then I click on it and realize they've republished some story from California or South Australia or somewhere. If I want to read about Australian cliff drivers, I'll go to some .com.au address, not the Arkansas Legion-Dispatch or whatever.

• Commuters who let cars from side streets cut into major traffic arteries. If you think I'm cruel and heartless, let me add that this particular side street has access to a stoplight a block east. It's just that the sidestreet drivers are lazy and want free cuts. (One of these drivers I discovered one morning is my wife.)

• Speaking of which, the kids' elementary school has three options for its students at the end of the day: School buses, after-school care and "carpool". I would call it "pick-up" or something. I mean, I guess I'm carpooling with these kids every morning and afternoon, but it's not like they're chipping in on gas.

all otm, number two in particular

Drivers who think it is their right to pass a stopped bus no matter what, even if it means veering into the busy opposing lane, and even if they are the fifth car to pass and the bus is already moving again--so they end up driving alongside it for a block.

One of these drivers I discovered one morning is my wife.

grounds for divorce imo

Caption on Jezebel:

Sir Roger Moore, one of the original James Bonds, has died at the age of 89.

What the fuck does that mean, "one of the original James Bonds?"

He was my original James Bond. View to a Kill for life.

pierce brosnan, one of the unoriginal james bonds