Real England

I was thinking more of it arriving like the Grange Hill titles.

brb gonna modify a t-shirt cannon to fire hot stodge at willing punters

one of the things Barthes does in the essays in Mythologies is explore a 1950s French experience of reflexively seeking authentic Frenchness so yeah this is definitely not unique to England.

not that this thread has ever been about the idea that dislocation from a national identity is uniquely English, we're just documenting the uniquely English expressions of it

https://68.media.tumblr.com/929814d75e2b7ef3d8962d0e7ba24b87/tumblr_oqms5vmhJK1utw2woo1_1280.jpg

The nudity, the fact that it's a waterpistol ...

That Mercia Tourist board website is terrifying.

been reading stories with the title 'I Am English' on experienceproject.com

I Am English

English Not British! I really hate it when you get those equal ops forms and you have to tick White British. I was Born in England. I Live in England which is part of the British Isles yes, but I am English.
I cannot be British because for that to be so, my Mother would have had to be an extremely talented woman. She would have had to have given birth in all the countries in the British Ises, all at the same time, which isn't really possible is it?

RobertaSunsetRobertaSunset 36-40, F 71 Responses

I Am English

Woo Engfuckingland So I was born In England raised in England live in England I'm getting bored of England :/ it's such a boring place how can anyone like it?? Only thing I care about is that Im desendant from Henry Tudor and Elizabeth of York but still England's a shithole

freemistfreemist 22-25, F 15 Responses

I Am English

Hey ladies are there any fun ladies reading this might me up for a chat if that's you why not message me back?

teddyboylovesboobs1teddyboylovesboobs1 41-45, M 1 Response

i work with a Teddy Boylovesboobs

I Am English

Good day yeoman folk of perfidious Albion..

I'm looking for chatter, amusement, verbal jousting. Fun and guffery in all its forms..

And human contact. Lordy yes.

Despite being a married man with oodles of kids and a full time job in a people facing profession the loneliness is palpable..

deleteddeleted 26-30 1 Response

I Am English

This doesn't mean much ethnically! I am a huge mixture of (mostly) European heritage, with the 'English' part including Celtic (Irish and Northumbrian) and Anglo-Saxon, and I grew up in England. My cousin traced my father's family back to the middle ages, and it's a wild mixture! :)

ProfessorYaffleProfessorYaffle 41-45, F

I Am English

23 April will soon be upon us and no doubt the celebrations will be conspicuous by their absence yet again.

Yesterday I caught the local Area Manager of J D Wetherspoon and asked what the Company intentions were, to which he replied that they didn't usually do anything special. He was certainly on our side.

I pointed out that this was not in the National interest and therefore might be considered treasonable, and also the publicity value of being the only big pub chain celebrating. He will be at head office today and will push the issue.

I'm sure that I don't have to urge you to do likewise. Please let us know who you kick!

bilnicbilnic 70+, M 3 Responses

Ohhhhh very good.

It looks like the acid UKIP splash people with, but in its naturally occurring sloshy state, before they distill it

Wetherspoons is in the gutter

70+, M

I pointed out that this was not in the National interest and therefore might be considered treasonable

fucking right, send all pub landlords (inc al murray, perhaps even especially al murray) to the tower of london to await their fate imo

btw since he didn't mention which specific celebrations he's referring to i'm assuming he's talking about the whitby goth weekend here

xp that fate being to spend a couple hours in the company of lamer tourists and loud parties of schoolchildren before visiting an overpriced gift shop

celebrating the first anniversary of man utd winning the fa cup semi final with a last minute winner against Everton, resulting in a meaty punch up in the pub I watched the game in with my brother in law

meaty punch up in the pub

real england

it certainly was

I must be a terrible England-hating loony leftie since I had to look up the significance of 23rd of April lol

Hitler's birthday IIRC

Shakespeare's birthday, innit.

Do these count:

https://media.timeout.com/images/103857418/630/472/image.jpg

https://media.timeout.com/images/103857523/630/472/image.jpg

From here:

https://www.timeout.com/london/art/12-amazing-photos-of-londons-lost-landmarks

old stuff isn't real

tfw you have to banter a bit w/the guys who are fixing the old leaky gutters in yr block before they start work -- this is hackney so of course they are friendly and lovely essexmen, basically apologetic for being a bit late, which it turns out is because of… THE UNIONS!

banter now slips sideways into the eternal baffled animus of the self-employed towards the power of collective bargaining: "the drivers are paid so much!"

i want to say "yes, southern shd be re-nationalised, along with the rest of the railways, its current owners and managers removed, shamed and where appropriate jailed: vote corbyn!" -- but of course i also want the gutters to be done well and quickly (as they serve the whole block and the leaks currently inconvenience others much more than me), so i smile blandly and nod along

had u exhausted talking about the football

http://cdn.static-economist.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/1872-width/images/print-edition/20170603_FBP001.jpg
from an economist piece. It seemed right to park it here.

needs to be here

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DBl1SzVXkAMMGuN.jpg

Greg Knight?

*sings along*

it's tempting to believe that that song really captures the feeling of being a tory

think it might be the b-side to this old school banger:

https://www.discogs.com/Martin-Harvey-Maggie-Will-Always-Be-Around-Vote-Conservative/release/4753029

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sounds about right

a slightly more bombastic earlier work! https://audioboom.com/posts/2308707-vote-conservative-martin-harvey?t=0

oh my gosh

Vengaboys

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=xOHY8ZyK0Aw

Best Real Britain of 2017 so far!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/06/11/mayor-andy-burnham-condemns-manchester-protest-against-islamist/

A few members of the crowd brandished a pig's head - a taunt to Muslims who do not eat pork - and took turns taking bites out of it.

nothing says you're a valuable member of a civilised society like patiently waiting your turn to gnaw on a pig's head in the street

Future Prime Ministers do more than bite pig's heads though amiriteHIGNFY?

just one of the many overlaps between the edl and the tories tbh

wouldn't sausages have been easier?

thx for the mental image of a young and eager david cameron pleasuring himself with a sausage

possibly while an exhausted and detumescent boris johnson, misted in a sticky spray of meat juices, looks on approvingly

just found out that in 1672 the dutch ATE their then-prime minister, johan de witt (along with his brother), in a protest against incompetence

they were likely encouraged in this act of politically symbolic cannibalism by william prince of orange. this belongs in the REAL ENGLAND thread bcz 16 years later the english hired william prince of orange to be our king william-and-mary, and shortly after this unleashed the curse of orange on ireland

somewhere out there there's a parallel world where the orange order's tradition is eating the rich instead of bowler hats, sashes and the least rousing marching bands ever

yet more evidence that we're living in the darkest timeline

having said that they're not rousing, i should give the bastards credit for unfailingly managing to wake me up on pleasant summer saturday mornings when they march past my house

scares the shit out of the cats, too