Words, usages, and phrases that annoy the shit out of you...

I'll take amazing or awesome over bonkers any day.

i still like bananas
bananas!

Down with bananas

Any D of chess higher than 2.

https://files.chesscomfiles.com/images_users/tiny_mce/chessroboto/chess-3d-custom.jpg

all of these:

As a public service, here are the two boards from the Workaholics writer's room of comedy phrases that need to be retired, started season 2. pic.twitter.com/DHZqhqU5D5

— John Quaintance (@John_Quaintance) November 18, 2016

🔗/

How the fuck is "you're welcome" not on this whiteboard

important sandwich update, from the new restaurant opening in the old location of ilx-famous-i-guess piratz tavern

The outdoor patio is named Sam’s Garden after his son (which also explains why the section of the menu listing burgers and such is labeled “Samwiches”).

"Samwiches" unegregiously fits in that context.

all of sam wiches

Ate in a place last week with the menu category SARNIES

"Throwing someone under the bus" doesn't make much sense. You can't throw someone under a bus that you're both riding on.

If (in the metaphor) you're on the bus with a person, you can really only push them out of the bus. And if you push them out the window, they will land either to the side of the bus, or behind it. Not under the bus, unless you can somehow lean out the window (holding a struggling person) and throw them at an awkward angle.

You can throw someone under a bus that just happens to be passing by, but that requires you to know exactly when the bus is coming. More likely it would just be *a* bus, not *the* bus.

PLUS you need to be able to lift a person, and relatively few people can lift another (presumably unwilling) adult.

So expressions that would make sense are either (a) "Push them out of *the* bus." Or (b) "Push them under *a* bus."

ye mad

"people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones"

"onboard" as a verb

people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones

Yeah! They totally could! Especially if they threw them out of the door or window. Or just threw the stones a short distance, into a pillow or something. Lots of ways to throw a stone in a glass house. Even MORE ways if you don't care about breaking glass or replacing it.

"WHen you assume, you make an ass of u and me"

(Talking of annoying the shit out of people)

can someone actually become so agitated that they excrete!?

People who live in normal houses may throw stones at anyone they feel like.

Let he who is without sin...

http://i.imgur.com/ygy4LnI.jpg

What if you are without sin but live in a glass house? How would you know what the heck to do at all?

Ye mad Puffin, I think the point of the glass-house stone-throwing aphorism is not that you might injure your own house, but that the people you tried to injure by throwing stones at them can safely retreat into their non-glass relatively stone-proof houses, then later they can quickly and easily retaliate by demolishing your highly vulnerable glass house by chucking stones at it, so you end up homeless and they dance around, thumb their noses at you, laugh, and point at you as the stupid guy in the glass house who started a war he was bound to lose.

I think I got that right.

It seems like the overall meaning is "If you are emotionally sensitive you should never up for yourself"

People in covfefe houses shouldn't throw covfefe. https://t.co/M7oK5Z6qwF

— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) June 1, 2017

when they go low we go high

"Let's all discuss..." Let's all talk about..." "Let's all (do something)..."

Let's not and say we did.

"I've been busting my hump"

???

It's like busting a move, but more painful.

better to bust a hump than to hump a bust
-bob marley

Agree to disagree

Agree to disagree is so much more polite than saying "I guess you're too stupid or obstinate to see that I'm right about, so we'll just have to leave it at that."

I can't help it if Bob Marley got that one wrong.

are the people who live in glass houses prohibited from throwing stones even outside their glass houses?
are they permitted curtains in the bathroom?

people who live in log cabins shouldn't juggle flamethrowers

The very modern affectation (last two or three years? it's everywhere now) of starting a certain king of social media post with "So." "So I interviewed Ethel Merman this morning." "So I just won the Nobel Prize for chemistry." "So it looks like I'm someone everyone's talking about." I think it's supposed to be self-deprecating--an aw-shucks clearing of the throat--but I find it almost as weird as referring to yourself in the third-person. ("So Bob Dole has a new memoir coming out next week." "Thank you, Senator Dole.")

"A certain king of social media"--obviously a Trump reference.

elevator pitch

breakout session

brainstorming

People who say FLOOR when they mean THE GROUND.

Morons, every one of them.

people say 'salty' way too much these days

(xp) I hate that too but I heard it a lot after Borough Market attack so seemed churlish to get too annoyed about it.

ivanka simpering 'my father' in her soft, precise, expensive voice.

Hahahaha I repost that complaint every time one of my friends who should know better say 'floor' and this time, yes, it's my friend who is on a tefl course and managing one of the concessions at Borough Market (she was there on that Saturday but went home after a 7pm swiftly at the pub).

"Latest and greatest"

was "thank you captain obvious" discussed yet?

Anything that Eddie Butler says during a rugby match especially when he rolls his r's.

when did "individuals" replace "people" in official statements?

'persons'

Have I mentioned 'home invasion'?