start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (8240 of them)

Galway nuns don't give a fuck man.

― quet inn tarnation (darraghmac), Thursday, 15 June 2017 09:49 (eight minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

can't even build a mental picture of this. i live near like a billion lubavitcher jews and i've never seen one get even distantly annoyed.

early morning reverse rumplestiltskin rage (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 15 June 2017 00:04 (seven years ago) link

anytime I go to a convenience store and the person in front of me is buying cigarettes, cos it always goes like this...

dude in front of me: can I get a pack of (OBSCURE CIGARETTES THAT NOBODY SMOKES)?
cashier who obviously doesn't smoke: this one? (points)
dude: no the row below that
cashier: here?
dude: no it's the next row
cashier: this one?
dude: no no the next row, three over

20 minutes later they figure it out

Charles "Butt" Stanton (Neanderthal), Thursday, 15 June 2017 02:26 (seven years ago) link

Only thing worse is

CASHIER: This one?
DUDE: No, over to the left.
CASHIER: This one.
DUDE: No, not the $10 one! The $5 one with the moneybags on the front!

pplains, Thursday, 15 June 2017 02:56 (seven years ago) link

I was at the dollar store the other morning, and there was a person in front of me with a cart full of shit.

"How much is this?"
"A dollar."
"Oh. How much is this?"
"It's a dollar."
"Wow. Is this a dollar, too?"
"Yes."
"OK!'

And so on.

Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 15 June 2017 03:02 (seven years ago) link

"do you want to sign up for a WINN DIXIE CARD?"
'oh tell me about that, how does it work'

*get out of line, opt to just shoplift items*

Charles "Butt" Stanton (Neanderthal), Thursday, 15 June 2017 03:05 (seven years ago) link

"do you want a membership card?"
"no"
"are you sure?"
"uh yes"
"why not?"
"<leaves>"

early morning reverse rumplestiltskin rage (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 15 June 2017 03:12 (seven years ago) link

Jesse I dont get it - if you did what you note (turn left from the right lane in US drive mode) wouldnt you crash into a car coming out of the roundabout going the correct way round??

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 15 June 2017 03:14 (seven years ago) link

BTW that smokes things happens a lot here because the law means all smoke packets LOOK EXACTLY THE DAMN SAME (sort of army khaki coloured, with ugly pics of rotting feet and dead guys and babies on them). You just have to know your brand and whats worse the law also says the shopkeep isnt allowed to recommend brands or alternatives. You know it, or you dont.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 15 June 2017 03:16 (seven years ago) link

In many stores hereabouts, lottery scratchythings are numbered. "Gimme one 8 and three of them 14s."

Cigarettes should be as well.

croque monsoon (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 15 June 2017 03:43 (seven years ago) link

Gimme a pack of Dead Baby 100s, please.

nickn, Thursday, 15 June 2017 04:27 (seven years ago) link

Its like some morbid pokemon.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 15 June 2017 04:31 (seven years ago) link

otherwise it's like, OK, I have to step out into the road to make traffic stop, but if I step out into the road and traffic doesn't stop, I might die. thanks, good choice!

Yeah, if you wait on the corner no one will stop or even slow down and if you step into the street cars will barrel at you and swerve around you at the last second or come screeching to a stop an inch away from you and some middle-aged wannabe cop will try to shame you for being an unsafe person.

One time I was crossing a crosswalk in front of a hospital that was as clearly marked as possible (flashing lights, signs reading "Cars Must Stop for Pedestrians" etc.) and a car swerved around me, nearly tipping over. The guy rolled down his window and started yelling that at me that if I wanted to cross the street I need to use a crosswalk. I just pointed at the blinking lights.

President Keyes, Thursday, 15 June 2017 12:38 (seven years ago) link

Jesse I dont get it - if you did what you note (turn left from the right lane in US drive mode) wouldnt you crash into a car coming out of the roundabout going the correct way round??

― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Wednesday, June 14, 2017 10:14 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

No more likely than if I were doing a left turn without the roundabout there. Or even if I did it the (apparently) right way.

Je55e, Thursday, 15 June 2017 16:12 (seven years ago) link

god help all you americans if this comes to pass on US soil

http://www.bbc.co.uk/staticarchive/74300baa4e6ce880999abd4ac17a96d155dfb9eb.jpg

Right column Leftist (sunny successor), Thursday, 15 June 2017 16:35 (seven years ago) link

No more likely than if I were doing a left turn without the roundabout there. Or even if I did it the (apparently) right way.

Uh??? That is basically saying that the risk crashing with another car in a one-way street is the same whether you are going the wrong way or the right way.

anatol_merklich, Thursday, 15 June 2017 16:38 (seven years ago) link

Je55e is the most perplexing American ever.

Jeff, Thursday, 15 June 2017 16:50 (seven years ago) link

I understand big circles with lanes. DC is full of them and I am fine with those. They have guidance and everything is clear. But the little ones on 2-lane roads are the problem.

Like I said, I learned my method of navigating them BY WATCHING OTHER DRIVERS. I didn't know how, so over time I watched and followed others' examples.

Je55e, Thursday, 15 June 2017 16:53 (seven years ago) link

As noted, a big circle (like Dupont) will have an inner lane for going most of the way around, and outer lanes for turning onto individual minor roads branching off of the circle.

I looked at the picture and, while it looks daunting at first from above, I'm pretty sure I could figure out what I'm supposed to do based on the plentiful pavement arrows and (one presumes) signage. Basically, if you're about to turn, go to the outside of the circle. If you have a ways to go yet, stay on the inside. That way, fewer cars are merging into and out of your path. Complex but not incomprehensible.

croque monsoon (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 15 June 2017 17:06 (seven years ago) link

Anyway I came here to bitch about DOCUMENTS WITHOUT DATES. So many fucking lawyers send out discovery requests and responses with no date on them anywhere.

And right now I'm dealing with a huge file full of signed stipulations and contracts where every signer left the date lines blank. It's fucking important!

Je55e, Thursday, 15 June 2017 17:07 (seven years ago) link

I empathize and I acknowledge that the conversation is moving on. Still, for sunny:

http://dcparking.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/dupont-circle-parking.jpg

croque monsoon (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 15 June 2017 17:16 (seven years ago) link

oh shit i just noticed the tunnel going under it. love it!

Right column Leftist (sunny successor), Thursday, 15 June 2017 18:27 (seven years ago) link

Is it possible Jesse is talking about turning left when there's NO OTHER TRAFFIC? I don't see how else a left turn into a right-hand roundabout could not result in tragedy and the soft crunch of tortured plastic body panels.

Conic section rebellion 44 (in orbit), Thursday, 15 June 2017 18:37 (seven years ago) link

No other traffic or just everyone waiting their turn, which you'd have to do no matter how you take a roundabout, or even if it was just a normal intersection.

Je55e, Thursday, 15 June 2017 19:33 (seven years ago) link

Yeah, but the person to the left of you turning right into the roundabout wouldn't be expected someone to be coming at them the wrong way.

President Keyes, Thursday, 15 June 2017 19:41 (seven years ago) link

I think I had someone do that to me and I pray for their death each night

President Keyes, Thursday, 15 June 2017 19:42 (seven years ago) link

no offense jesse but i'd be v reluctant getting into a car with you. just cannot understand your logic here (and i know this: i have things i think about illogically the world does not agree with, but i recognize it as a shortcoming and take it in stride tbh)

Le Bateau Ivre, Thursday, 15 June 2017 19:43 (seven years ago) link

I can no longer defend my now-former way of doing roundabouts.

But I would reiterate that I learned from OTHER AMERICANS.

Je55e, Thursday, 15 June 2017 19:43 (seven years ago) link

That's how I ended up voting for Trump

President Keyes, Thursday, 15 June 2017 19:45 (seven years ago) link

I talked to my brother about the recently built roundabouts near his place (2 lane roads way out in the country) and he said that they were deathtraps and you never knew what to expect from other drivers, so you just crawled through them with your hand hovering over the horn.

Je55e, Thursday, 15 June 2017 19:45 (seven years ago) link

He does the way I did, so I should advise him that he is doing it wrong.

Je55e, Thursday, 15 June 2017 19:46 (seven years ago) link

ok I've kept quiet for 24 hours but how do you (Americans) not understand how to use roundabouts?

kinder, Thursday, 15 June 2017 20:49 (seven years ago) link

they don't have very many and many they do have are quite new?

mark s, Thursday, 15 June 2017 20:52 (seven years ago) link

I feel like roundabouts will go the way of the metric system in the US. Years from now we'll say 'hey, remember when they tried to implement that thing that would make things easier and safer but we were all like I REFUSE TO UNDERSTAND THIS.'

Right column Leftist (sunny successor), Thursday, 15 June 2017 20:55 (seven years ago) link

I think what we're all trying to say is that while it has a pretty kickin' bassline, "Roundabout" is a tired song that most of us don't need to hear more than once or twice a year.

croque monsoon (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 15 June 2017 20:57 (seven years ago) link

It's just Je55e. He's the only American that doesn't. He just makes it look like the rest of us don't.

Jeff, Thursday, 15 June 2017 21:45 (seven years ago) link

Je55e navigates roundabouts the "Italian Job" way

tho tbf i remember talking about 2-lane roundabouts w mr veg and he had no clue abt the general navigation rules and i was like O_o bc there's a 2-laner right by our house lol

Yoni Loves Chocha (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 15 June 2017 22:25 (seven years ago) link

You guys would die if you had to deal with Melbourne hook-turn intersections (theyre effectively like invisible roundabouts)

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 15 June 2017 22:48 (seven years ago) link

Having recently started a new job in an office with 5 floors i have developed an item for people who press the door closing button in lifts, especially the ones that do it immediately after dashing in late.

koogs, Thursday, 15 June 2017 23:11 (seven years ago) link

(there are reports that those buttons do nothing but the intent is there)

koogs, Thursday, 15 June 2017 23:11 (seven years ago) link

People who rush over to an elevator, stop the door from closing, jump inside and press the button for one floor below. And yes they ran past an obvious stairwell.

President Keyes, Thursday, 15 June 2017 23:36 (seven years ago) link

can i just

Years from now we'll say 'hey, remember when they tried to implement that thing that would make things easier and safer but we were all like I REFUSE TO UNDERSTAND THIS.'

― Right column Leftist (sunny successor), Friday, 16 June 2017 06:55 (two hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

and that's how you got trump.

btw can't believe trayce has been in this thread and not mentioned canberra, which is the most roundabouty place in the universe.

for shits and giggles, this is our best local effort:

https://i.imgur.com/rQVvnRr.png

https://i.imgur.com/TvuXxuW.jpg

early morning reverse rumplestiltskin rage (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 15 June 2017 23:56 (seven years ago) link

That aerial view is actually quite beautiful.

croque monsoon (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 16 June 2017 00:02 (seven years ago) link

Royal Parade was a screamer too but iirc they put in traffic lights a while back which kinda ruins the trial by fire thrill

Yoni Loves Chocha (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 16 June 2017 00:20 (seven years ago) link

yeah royal parade is almost logical now

early morning reverse rumplestiltskin rage (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 16 June 2017 00:21 (seven years ago) link

boo

Yoni Loves Chocha (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 16 June 2017 00:22 (seven years ago) link

dad coaxed me through that after I got my P Plates and I nearly shat myself

Yoni Loves Chocha (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 16 June 2017 00:23 (seven years ago) link

a tram line still runs through it, which remains as a source of panic

early morning reverse rumplestiltskin rage (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 16 June 2017 00:24 (seven years ago) link

whew

Yoni Loves Chocha (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 16 June 2017 00:26 (seven years ago) link

m'chester, m'lady, m'tuna

assawoman bay (harbl), Friday, 16 June 2017 00:37 (seven years ago) link

it's short for middleminsterheathburyclaxtonchester-on-the-wold

early morning reverse rumplestiltskin rage (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 16 June 2017 00:47 (seven years ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.