SADDO: THE MOVIE (aka READY PLAYER ONE)

afaik it's about a guy consumed with regret for the 3.5 hours of his life that he'll never get back

ummmmmm okay lmao

http://www.ernestcline.com/spokenword/npa.htm

nsfw

All the porn I've come across
was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males

This man doesn't look very far and wide for anything.

ding ding ding

In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked.
They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and
beat them repeatedly at chess
and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle
or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.

okay he's now officially on the "if you could fight anyone" list, right behind hannity

hey nerd white knight, some people *like* to get naked

Feel like this movie is what would happen if you gave a YouTube gamer a couple hundred million dollars to spruce up their channel.

Airwolf.

Airwolf is the adjective we should use to describe anything
of majesty, beauty, and intensity.
Something that is simply fucking bad ass . . . is Airwolf.
James Brown's music is Airwolf.
Shakespeare is Airwolf.
Sex so good it makes your spine ache and your knees buckle. . .
That's Airwolf.

And nothing is more Airwolf than Airwolf.

Airwolf is the Holy Grail. The Golden Fleece.
The thing you want that you cannot have.
When you go sprinting through the Mall
desperate to fill the emptiness in your life
through the purchase of name brand clothing and electronics-
You will never achieve satisfaction.
Because the one brand name you really want
is the one you can never have.
Airwolf?
Oh, I'm sorry, we're all sold out.
That item was only available for a very limited time
and in very limited supply.
One.

prickly pear vibes imo

I honestly can't tell which are actual quotes and which are just people fucking around. Speaks highly of the source material.

i'm sorry to have to inform you that nobody is fucking around

Best thing about that nerd porn poem is that there's an mp3 of him doing the actual spoken word version, like he read it aloud, heard it back, felt zero shame or embarrassment, and uploaded this thing, it's just...

less surprising that he uploaded it when u hear the crowd reaction!

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/rBVP0s7umDY/hqdefault.jpg

L-R nu aspire nerd culture, ilx

*aspie

oh my god i glossed over 'guys need porn' jfc

who are these psychos who showed up to this reading holy shit

You know the source material is bad when even Reddit has largely turned on it. Every time a post was made about this book (well, before the trailer that is), I just saw people in the comments pointing out what a lousy book it was

otm, i read the book due to circumstances not really worth explaining here, the core idea isn't for me but it isn't the worst thing in the world, the worst thing in the world is that the author is a dumb idiot.

I feel like sleepingbag has been pulling his punches in this thread

step up and defend the fucking material or don't, nobody is "punching down" a goddamn Spielberg movie

Lmao I haven't read the book and probably won't see the movie, just think it's hilarious that a site for semi-pro listers of things they like is so aggro/jealous of this thing

I see like 3 movies every 5 years lol

did you not read the stuff people quoted

I downloaded every game mentioned or referenced in the Almanac, from Akalabeth to Zaxxon

no Zynaps? what a fucking loser.

no Zork? no cred. fuck this thing.

this idea was intriguing to me b/c I honestly thought this was supposed to be a satire of people who spend their whole life trying to become a pop culture know-it-all and then find themselves incapable of forming a single original thought, like a parody of Bill Simmons type people who see everything in terms of "what Teen Wolf character is this guy". but this is....not that. at all

it'd be cool if the movie pulled a fast one and actually was a cutting sendup of the nostalgiafest it's being sold on, but this is also the director who looked at the creepy story of a society where parents would choose fake robot affection over real grief and said "got it, a heartwarming pinocchio story, let's get to work!"

head scratching read of AI there

Based on what I've been able to piece together, this is like a dude who buys all of the 1000 albums to hear before you die but instead of actually listening to them he just Instagrams a picture of them, is that about right?

head scratching read of AI there

yeah i've given up on the "Spielberg sentimentalist" brainwashed when it comes to his films that do the opposite

and Kubrick wrote the fucking adap, period

i recognize i am probably in the minority on A.I. man I hated that movie.

the sentimentality and implication that we should find something sweet/noble/human/inspiring in this piece of machinery doing what it's built to do is all in the direction (and score) tho. iirc anyway.

Doc:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A.I._Artificial_Intelligence#Development

At our first meeting Stanley skated briefly over some of my stories which he had read. Since I hadn’t seen Full Metal Jacket... he gave me a videotape. Also, a copy of Carlo Collodi’s Pinocchio, about the puppet who yearned to be a real boy but who gets into such naughty scrapes...The movie was to be a picaresque robot version of Pinocchio, spinning off from the Aldiss story, but the plot-line had bogged down. ...

In 1994 too, Scottish-born Sara Maitland, whose stories give a sharp dark slant to such fables as “Hansel and Gretel,” was brought in until the second half of 1995 to provide a feminist fairy-tale focus. Although she asked Stanley who else had worked on the saga, he refused to tell her, and she only found out after his death. With her, he always referred to the project as “Pinocchio."

https://web.archive.org/web/20080703134444/http://www.ianwatson.info/kubrick.htm

and of course, the robot boy in AI doesn't REPRESENT a robot anymore than Karloff represents a reanimated corpse in Frankenstein. They emotionally signify human beings, or we wouldn't give a shit.

xpost The sentimentality of AI is the point. The kid is walking, talking sentimentality, but no one left in the world gives a fuck, beginning with his asshole mom. The robot is the last human. That's what makes it heartbreaking.

no Zork? no cred. fuck this thing.

― akm,

oh there's a Zork part in the book, don't worry

"I would speculate that Stanley would have made and told much the same story I told because I based my screenplay on a 90-page treatment Stanley had prepared from all of his own ideas," the 53-year-old filmmaker said when asked what he thought Kubrick would have done differently.

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/story?id=104124&page=1

AI is about as sentimental as Dr Strangelove.

My big issue with A.I. is that I hated Haley Joel Osment in it, which made it something of a trial to sit through.

We know from on-set footage from The Shining, and other anecdotal evidence, that Kubrick revised his scripts all the way through shooting, so I'm sure there would've been many differences between any 'treatment' written prior to filming and the finished Kubrick movie.

Sure, but he was saying 'Pinocchio' to multiple writers throughout, so that concept was his. And yet like windup toys ppl drone on "Spielberg Pinocchio sentimental blahblahblah" in perpetuity.

I don't care if Kubrick or Spielberg is to blame, it's a crappy movie and Dr. C's interpretation mirrors my own

funhouse mirrors

i'm done

the original Pinocchio is absolutely not a sentimental story btw

The heartwarming tale of a far future where everyone except for sentient robots is dead, partly because people built machines that could love them unconditionally and couldn't be bothered to do the same back. **wipes away tear like Robert Stack in 1941**

haha

Yall should read Cline's "Dance Monkeys Dance" easily the most try hard sheeple rant ever written

all that bleak stuff is there in the manifest content of the movie, but spielberg still directs, edits, scores, and ends it like we're supposed to relate to the cusinart that just keeps on cuisinartin'. aww, what a trooper! i don't know whose party line im supposed to be parroting (I like both directors as you probably know) but in the end spielberg's name is on the film, the film is sentimental, and the sentiment is moronic. it's one of my least favorite of his that i've seen. if the plot/world was at least interesting along the way I probably would have rewatched it by now and maybe id be more sympathetic than I was at age 19/20 but all I remember is a bunch of postapocalyptic cliches and an embarrassing robin williams cameo, so it's kind of low in the queue.

anyway tho my main point was just that in general he's not a director drawn to subversive undercurrents or twisty readings - I actually can't think of a film of his that plays against type, or against what the trailer/elevator pitch would lead you to think. that's not a fault - I'd be pissed off to get halfway through Jurassic Park and discover Hammond is really right and the pursuit of genetic miracles is worth any risk because it's our destiny as a species to kill god and take mastery of all nature. but it's an indicator that there's no reason to expect Ready Player One to challenge or complicate the consumer franchise nostalgia fest that the book puts forward.

Yall should read Cline's...

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/nope.gif