SADDO: THE MOVIE (aka READY PLAYER ONE)

all that bleak stuff is there in the manifest content of the movie, but spielberg still directs, edits, scores, and ends it like we're supposed to relate to the cusinart that just keeps on cuisinartin'. aww, what a trooper! i don't know whose party line im supposed to be parroting (I like both directors as you probably know) but in the end spielberg's name is on the film, the film is sentimental, and the sentiment is moronic. it's one of my least favorite of his that i've seen. if the plot/world was at least interesting along the way I probably would have rewatched it by now and maybe id be more sympathetic than I was at age 19/20 but all I remember is a bunch of postapocalyptic cliches and an embarrassing robin williams cameo, so it's kind of low in the queue.

anyway tho my main point was just that in general he's not a director drawn to subversive undercurrents or twisty readings - I actually can't think of a film of his that plays against type, or against what the trailer/elevator pitch would lead you to think. that's not a fault - I'd be pissed off to get halfway through Jurassic Park and discover Hammond is really right and the pursuit of genetic miracles is worth any risk because it's our destiny as a species to kill god and take mastery of all nature. but it's an indicator that there's no reason to expect Ready Player One to challenge or complicate the consumer franchise nostalgia fest that the book puts forward.

Yall should read Cline's...

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/nope.gif

I have to rewatch AI. I was so looking forward to it that I was disappointed in it when it finally came out; but when i think back on it, my feelings about it have softened.

An exclusive look at my upcoming book: Ready Player One Except With Girl Culture. Hmu, Spielberg pic.twitter.com/DMDW0PBoUW

— Nat (@Hatalie) July 24, 2017

AI has its problems for sure, but I think nailing it for being overly sentimental is a shallow read. It's more uncomfortable and thornier than that.

yeah it's been forever but iirc it was deeply sad

Cline's song he wrote: http://songmeanings.com/m/songs/view/3530822107859495656/

I think it's about Planet of the Apes.

That Tim Burton movie?

this fucking guy

I'd pay to see a Tim Burton musical of this. Still holding out for the Verhoeven libretto.

By Robert Ludlum.

IT'S SLAM POETRY TIME Y'ALL

Nerd Porn Auteur
by Ernest Cline

(Click to play or download the mp3)
I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies
that are made for guys like me.

All the porn I've come across
was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males
Men who like their women stupid and submissive
Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos
with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary

Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected
liposuctioned women
Many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation
in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look.

These aren't real women. They're objects.
And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.
These vacuum-headed fuck bunnies don't turn me on.
They disgust me.
And it's not that I'm against pornography.
I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.
Fact.
"Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"
Guys need porn.

But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn.
I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind:
Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world
is a woman who is smarter than you are.

You can have the whole cheerleading squad,
I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses:
Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian.
Oh yes.
First I want to copy her Trig homework,
and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her
for hours and hours
until she reluctantly asks if we can stop
because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.
Summa cum laude, baby!
That is what I call erotic.

But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film?
No.
Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek Porno.
I shall be the quintessential Nerd Porn Auteur.
And the women in my porno movies will be the kind
that drive nerds like me mad with desire.

I'm talking about the girls that used to fuck up the grading curve.
The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society.
Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs.
Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses
and chips on their shoulders.

My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes.
My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym.

In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked.
They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and
beat them repeatedly at chess
and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle
or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.

Buy stock in some hand cream companies
because there is about to be a major shortage.

And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no.
There should be fuck films for my nerd brethren
of all sexual orientations.
Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens."

This idea is a fucking gold mine.
I am gonna make millions,
because this country is full of database programmers
and electronics engineers
and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need.
And you can help . . .

If you're an intelligent woman is interested in breaking into the adult film industry,
and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet,
then you are hired.

It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive.
It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful.
You are beautiful. . .
And I will make you a star.

shit didn't see that had been posted already

(Click to play or download the mp3) <-- I tapped out here

saw the trailer for this in the theatre and now I see what you all are on about

Thanks, bizarro, I've always wondered what John Doe wrote in all those notebooks.

David Bowie's "Jump, They Say" - C or D?

jesus tap dancing christ at that poem. bro, the internet does not need new kinds of porn. it already has all the kinds, especially something as basic as "geek girls."

i'm just kinda boggled that someone could write that, read it back, and not see that 'objectification of women is bad! ps - here's how women should be objectified!' is dumb as fuck

Or, "I am a male ally, also porn actresses are not real women."

Dude's a regular Jack Handey.

I know that my dramatic reading could never do justice to Ernest Cline's ravenous hunger for nerd porn, but a copyright strike seems extreme pic.twitter.com/CkXsLctjgl

— supergreatfriend (@supergreatfrien) August 4, 2017

Justin Trudeau, 23rd Prime Minister of Canada • 23e premier ministre du Canada
Answered Apr 3

I am a massive reader, have been all my life. I read anything, and everything, in huge quantities. These days most of what I read are scholarly policy works and briefing papers, so listing my favourite fiction is really tough. I guess starting with a few authors for whom I’ve read just about everything they’ve ever written: Stephen King, Neal Stephenson, and Tad Williams. Other recently-read novels I’ve loved: La part de l’autre by Eric-Emmanuel Schmidt, and Ready Player One by Ernest Cline.

and with that, America's love affair with the boy prince of Canada came to a crashing end.

I always had a hunch that Cat's Cradle was the weakest Vonnegut but now I am confident

http://m.theweek.com/articles/481262/ernest-clines-6-favorite-books

Who reads Snow Crash after the age of 16 or so and thinks "oh the guy's name is Hiro Protagonist this is GREAT"

It must be a helluva feeling to receive a copyright violation notice from someone who seems to have built his career around exploiting other people's IP.

I hate nerd culture. When is the next star wars coming out

no wait u see it's funny because the japanese name 'hiro' sounds like the english word 'hero' and 'protagonist' is like another way to say 'hero' so

TBF, 'Hiro Protagonist' is just a stone's throw from a name you'd read in Pynchon.

I hate nerd culture. When is the next star wars coming out

France 13 December 2017
Italy 13 December 2017
Netherlands 13 December 2017
Norway 13 December 2017
Sweden 13 December 2017
Armenia 14 December 2017
Argentina 14 December 2017
Australia 14 December 2017
Brazil 14 December 2017
Chile 14 December 2017
Czech Republic 14 December 2017
Germany 14 December 2017
Denmark 14 December 2017
UK 14 December 2017
Greece 14 December 2017
Hong Kong 14 December 2017
Croatia 14 December 2017
Hungary 14 December 2017
Israel 14 December 2017
Malaysia 14 December 2017
New Zealand 14 December 2017
Poland 14 December 2017
Portugal 14 December 2017
Serbia 14 December 2017
Russia 14 December 2017
Singapore 14 December 2017
Bulgaria 15 December 2017
Canada 15 December 2017
Estonia 15 December 2017
Spain 15 December 2017
Finland 15 December 2017
Ireland 15 December 2017
Japan 15 December 2017
Lithuania 15 December 2017
Philippines 15 December 2017
Romania 15 December 2017
Turkey 15 December 2017
USA 15 December 2017
Vietnam 15 December 2017
China 5 January 2018

i'm not sure reading a lot is something to brag about anyway but if all you read is shit then definitely not

There are many accomplishments which one may find personally impressive but which are likely to prompt a very different reaction when shared with others.

yeah i kinda regret putting "wanking" on the skills section of my CV

there's more of that trudeau response btw

Webcomic: xkcd.com (I have a signed Randall Monroe print of “Centrifugal Force” on my office wall.)

america = 4chan / canada = reddit

yeah i kinda regret putting "wanking" on the skills section of my CV

nothing worse than starting a new job and then failing at a task you claimed to be familar with

Let Ernest Cline show u how it is done.

When it came to my research, I never took any shortcuts. Over the past five years, I'd worked my way down the entire recommended gunter reading list. White Guy. White Guy. White Guy. White Guy. White Guy. White Guy. White Guy. White Guy. White Guy, White Guy, White Guy, White Guy, White Guy, White Guy, White Guy, White Guy, White Guy, White Guy, White Guy, White Guy. I read every novel by every single one of Halliday's favorite authors.
And I didn't stop there.
I also watched every single film he referenced in the Almanac. If it was one of Halliday's favorites, like Movie Starring White People, Movie Starring White People (and one Black Guy At The End), Movie Starring White People, Movie Starring White People, or Movie Starring White People, I rewatched it until I knew every scene by heart.
I devoured each of what Halliday referred to as "The Holy Trilogies": Movie Trilogy Starring White People (original and prequel trilogies, in that order), Movie Trilogy Starring White Men, Movie Trilogy Starring White People and One Holy Black Guy, Movie Trilogy Starring White People, and Movie Trilogy Starring White People Fighting Brown People. (Halliday once said that he preferred to pretend the other Movies Starring White People Fighting Brown People, from Kingdom of the Crystal Skull onward, didn't exist. I tended to agree.)
I also absorbed the complete filmographies of each of his favorite directors. White Guy, White Guy, White Guy, White Guy, White Guy, White Guy, White Guy, Hispanic Guy, White Guy. And, of course, White Guy.
I spent three months studying every White Guy teen movie and memorizing all the key lines of dialogue.
Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive.
You could say I covered all the bases.
I studied White Guys. And not just Movie Made By White Guys, either. Every single one of their films, albums, and books, and every episode of the original BBC series. (Including those two "lost" episodes they did for German television.)
I wasn't going to cut any corners.
I wasn't going to miss something obvious.
Somewhere along the way, I started to go overboard.
I may, in fact, have started to go a little insane.
I watched every episode of TV Show About White Guys, TV Show About White Guys, TV Show About White Guys and one Black Guy, TV Show About A White Guy and His Car, and TV Show Made By White Guys.
I memorized every last White Guy stand-up routine.
Music? Well, covering all the music wasn't easy.
It took some time.
The '80s was a long decade (ten whole years), and Halliday didn't seem to have had very discerning taste. He listened to everything. So I did too. Pop, rock, new wave, punk, heavy metal. From White Guys Group to White Guys Group to White Guys Group to White Guys Group. I tackled it all.
I burned through the entire White Group discography in under two weeks. White Group took a little longer.
I memorized lyrics. Silly lyrics, by bands with names like White Guys Group, White Guys Group, White Guys Group, and White Guys Group.

Mega mega white thing

Jeb Lund gives this thing the thorough vivisection it deserves.

I'm curious why the cognoscenti feels the need to give this more scrutiny than any other summer escapist blockbuster.

Yes, Gen X feels nostalgia for a period (arguably ending around 1987) when we were young, and popular culture seemed less homogenized in the corporate blender. We're not the first, nor will we be the last, generation to have those sorts of affective hot buttons. RPO's protagonist seems a stand-in for millenials, who in many ways have been encouraged to share their parents' nostalgia (cue pictures of children at Star Wars prequel premieres), but for whom it remains second hand. Pull the zoom back, and RPO is a paper-thin story of trans-generational culture appreciation, and evils wrought when real world interests intrude on emergent cultures of social media.

Is that a useful story to tell now? Yes. Was this the best way it could be told? No. Is it any worse than other summer fare? I doubt it.

https://ih0.redbubble.net/image.74660018.4835/raf,750x1000,075,t,fafafa:ca443f4786.u1.jpg

I'm curious why the cognoscenti feels the need to give this more scrutiny than any other summer escapist blockbuster.

The film is scheduled to be released on March 30, 2018.

Probably because even something as stupid as Transformers isn't just two kids in striped tube socks and 'Where's the Beef?' shirts slamming their action figures together while making 'pew pew' noises and occasionally looking up at the camera and asking, 'Remember this?'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWmkXBupMJ8

great quote from the Jeb Lund article:

This book is an orgy of the cardinal writer’s sin of telling, not showing, filtered through IMDB and delivered so relentlessly literally that it’s amazing Cline doesn’t just include a cartoon of himself dressed like Peter Griffin from Family Guy saying, “Holy crap, Lois, this is just like the time the author addressed his creations at the end of Breakfast of Champions.”

Good god that review is such a jerk off session. The most interesting part is the plot synopsis, and apparently there's only one really objectionable part of the book as there's that same list passage I keep seeing over and over again. Could writers be any more jealous of this guy's success?

Based on the synopsis the entire enterprise seems pretty objectionable tbh

Ah, the "y'all just jealous haters" defense. Always welcome in any discussion of art, never says anything depressing about the person offering it.