start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

Every time the "New Aphex Twin Record" thread shows up on SNA on Zing. I've fallen for that guy's new record so many times. I honestly wish he would stop. He's like the goddamn Simpsons.

look, i understand
the cough you have had for 2 months something to do with allergies & yr taking stuff for it and you are just annoyed by it as me

& its barely a tickle now

but still

jesus fucking christ

throat clearing
every.thirty.seconds
is driving me up the fuuuuuuucking wall

When that happens to me I get some ginger candy or something. Just for the sake of fellow humans.

Humidty got me IA today. I want to live in a solid block of ice or on the surface of the sun right now. Anywhere dry.

HUMIDITY I mean.

when people say "because (a)" but never get around to saying "(b)"

^^^^

can i also add 'fish and chips smell' to the list of banned smells? (not because it's unpleasant but because it's making me hungry)

ppl who tell a long story, wind up by saying "so long story short" & then basically retell their same long story again aaaaaagh

People who get on a train at the origination stop--an airport, for instance--and say, "Wow! Look at all the empty seats on this train! I guess no one's riding today. Therefore I will ignore the overhead racks and put my suitcases on a three person seat, then I'll lie down on another seat and go to sleep with a newspaper over my face."

Then the train hits the second stop a few minutes later and 7000 people get on...

wondering what the story was behind something I saw from a bus window on the way into town. A car had collided with a bollard or something and had plastic cones around it and a bunch of civilian or at least not police around it. That is 2 or 3 people who had taken it upon themselves to stop the traffic at rush hour so that the car could be pushed out into the road and then what I'm not sure.
I assume they couldn't be aware that there was a tailback leading to the bottom of the road and presumably beyond since the road goes out of sight up the hill before the bus turns.
Not sure what the best thing they could have done there was, maybe leave the car until traffic cleared or get somebody with some authority over the road or understanding of traffic flow to be involved. Not sure how long that lasted, it was clear when i went back by a couple of hours later.

people who interrupt a meeting to laugh at some stupid, inconsequential gaffe they made, like saying the wrong client name or something.

yes, let's stretch this meeting on longer while you guffaw at yourself.

I can't stand people telling me my shoelaces are untied, or semi-untied, or that my bag is open. I know they are just trying to help, I wish I could appreciate it instead of getting inwardly annoyed for no genuine reason whatsoever, it's something I have to address at some point.

"honey I just don't want you to triiiiiiiip"

There is a bright blue plastic shopping bag in the front garden of my shit for brains neighbor. When the wind opens it up a bit I can see it contains a sweater and possibly a pair of trousers, too. The bag's been fouled up by mud and rain. It's been lying there, in the middle of his front lawn (just 10x12 feet), for over a week now.

I know he knows it's there. I've seen him seeing it. And yet he doesn't pick it up or take it inside. And it's driving me absolutely INSANE.

Similarly someone left a bottle and a card labeled 'alice' on our porch last week (10 flats). Someone brought it inside. Nobody here called Alice. Someone put it back outside. It's inside again now...

drink it

dont u want adventure

legally change your name to alice before you do it

put your key on the ground before you drink it

FEED YR HEAD

I can't stand people telling me my shoelaces are untied, or semi-untied, or that my bag is open.

Ugh yes I once had a stranger stop me in the street to stridently inform me my phone was sitting in a spot in my bag where "anyone could just walk up and steal that you know, Im just saying". (it was perched in a side pocket poking out a tad).

I told her "well I've been doing that for 2 years and never had a problem but THANKS for your advice" and she pulled a face and walked off.

Should have told her "why, were you planning on stealing it?"

an energetic stranger once bounded up and 'fined' me in the street for not smiling, approximately 15 minutes after i'd learned a friend of mine had died

Oh please tell me you put them straight

I have a bag with a zip that works its way open presumably from the motion of me walking so assume that other people may have the same. So have told people their bags are open before and been thanked for it. Would think it was a courtesy to ensure that other people's property is safe.

Also used to be quite knocked out by the amount of street crime happening because of people having valuables in too easily got at places when I used to sell posters and magazines on the streets of Dublin. Always thought it was because it hadn't dawned on the vioctims taht their valuables were vulnerable so they might benefit from being told to be careful.
But there you go.

along estela's lines, I was on my way to pick up a friend from her job and on the way, my best friend called to tell me a mutual friend of ours had finally succumbed to her ovarian cancer. So I'm emotional and sobbing on the drive, and finally get to my destination and idle, still emotional, and I accidentally park over the white line.

2 minutes later, a woman taps on my windshield, looking pissed, and angrily tells me "You're parked in TWO SPOTS" before storming off. which, to be fair,she couldn't possibly know I was distracted and she wasn't wrong, but at the time, she was literally the *only other person* in the lot and she had parked her own car on the opposite end, nowhere near me, with about 18 other spots empty....so was it REALLY that important?

I suspect she saw my state though because she very quickly left after telling me

I worked with this guy, a nebbish-looking Eno guy who was our production coordinator/studio manager. His work enemy was our chief engineer, this Ron Swanson of a bear who believed the machines were sentient.

Eno's favorite aunt died and with the funeral in the afternoon, he shows up for work in a suit. As he's tying up some loose ends for the day, the engineer passes by and goes, "OH, nice suit. WHOSE FUNERAL?"

Eno replies, "My aunt. She died of cancer on Monday." To which the engineer realizes it's not a joke and sheepishly says "I'm sorry," before quickly disappearing into his shop.

And that sly sideways look and barely-noticeable grin Eno gave me, the third-party witness sitting in the newsroom, is one of my fondest memories of that place.

Awesome <3

Heh. Similar happened to my ex N, he turned up to work one monday and it was very sombre and quiet in the office and he said something like "geez, its quiet in here, who died?" ... it turned out one of the senior coders had died in a plane crash the day before and he didnt know. Erps.

the whole concept of cracking wise when the mood is less than light is alien to me, because usually my first question is "what's wrong, are you ok?" if I ask anything at all.

Oh please tell me you put them straight

lol sorry kinder, i was too sad to talk so i crankily waved her off but shortly after that i had a small surge of temporary cheer due to the terribleness of her timing and general demeanour

so guys did you hear CHRIS PRATT and ANNA FARIS split? Love is OFFICIALLY DEAD!

:|

i don't know where to put this. i called an electrician and the voice said "<name> electrical, please leave a message." i waited a few seconds for the beep and the voice said "HELLO ARE YOU THERE??? PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE"

Sounds like you got an answering service. They should have made it more obvious, they usually say <company>, what is your message please?" or similar, so I can see how it'd confuse.

yeah, there was no beep or anything, and he didn't ask "what is your message?", he said it as a statement like you would on a machine

when netflix randomly makes you sign in

I know it's not cool to get all pissy about old people in the twilight of their years, BUT. . .

I swear to god, how do they go about from store to store, using a non-cash payment of some sort, and yet, never actually learning how to use it correctly? Three times today, I was behind different elder people who had to have the clerk at the counter do most of the work for them at the card swiping terminal. I also wonder if this sort of thing doesn't make them really susceptible to identity theft. The law of averages says that they will eventually run into a less than upstanding store clerk who will no doubt take advantage of the situation somehow.

I get IA and then start to simultaneously feel bad for them. Just, completely flustered.

And I'm just there. Waiting to pay for my broccoli.

the problem is paying for broccoli

sorry, pvmic etc

Old people; why can't they just be younger?

I usually avoid lines with old people in them for this very reason (and in my defense, I'm pretty old myself).

Ahh, come on. Broccoli's good for you.

ah yeah Austin I experienced an old person the other day holding up a line. To make matters worse there was a sketchy ass dude behind me who at one point tried to leave the store to not pay and then came back to the line. Once I left the store he seemed to be going the same way I was home and was screaming behind me the whole time :-/

Containers of stuff like peanut butter or lotion where there is a substantial amount of stuff always left at the bottom which is almost impossible to retrieve or dispense without making a huge mess. Grrr.

Weirdest thing along those lines I've seen is coconut oil in a long neck bottle. Like how does that not put the entire product into that category?
Nb this is the solid at room temp stuff.

my biggest packaging IA is stupid Califia Farms almond milk in large plastic bottled that are bulbous at the bottom & narrow at the top and look like vases and are just nonsensical wastes of packaging.

^^^^Especially the lids.

the lids are the worst

this was as puzzling as it was anger-making, but must be set down here. I was leaving the grocery store and a woman in front of me was walking through the automatic door pulling her shopping cart behind her. She stopped, leaving her cart half inside the door and half out, picked up her bags and walked away, leaving the cart where it was, blocking the doorway.

>:(