Real England

"motivated seller"

on the plus side, i imagine that's knocked a chunk of the asking price

I once lived in an upstairs flat above a known sex-offender. The local hoodlums used to kick their football against his door and someone daubed "sex-case" on it. I'm sure glad they knew the side door belongs to the upstairs flat!

Rightmove have now removed the photo from the original listing, as if it hadn't occurred to anyone first time round that it might be a little offputting to prospective buyers.

http://metro.co.uk/2017/09/02/lib-dem-council-candidate-sent-labour-rival-explicit-photo-of-him-dressed-as-mouse-6897641/?ito=twitter

Great little haul here

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/15528032.Priest_given_community_order_for_using_dead_woman_s_disabled_badge_to_park_his_car/

This one had me at the dog's name.

amazing

The court heard he has no connection to the Church of England and regularly travels to Moldova.

There is little on earth more suspicious than a 63-year-old fake priest who regularly travels to Moldova.

http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/gran-catapulted-wall-defective-pontins-505360

that sounds pretty shit and the fire alarm situation is worrying but lol @ those "damning" photos

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DKQAVqrW4AAonT2.jpg

can't wait for their baked rabbit and soused herrings ecigs!

Other flavours include:

• Snakebite and Black
• Chips and Curry Sauce
• Spicy Chicken Wings
• Pilchards
• The Bitter Tears When England Are Knocked Out Of The World Cup

http://brightcove04.o.brightcove.com/4221396001/4221396001_5181253188001_5181244722001-vs.jpg?pubId=4221396001&videoId=5181244722001

lol. the realest

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/magazine-41361662/i-want-to-get-rid-of-my-polish-accent

That's my local high street, which isn't hugely surprising.

Judging by this thread England post brexit vote is getting realer by the Pound

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-sNCfAo2Es

Fucking Thanet.

Forbidden Thanet!

700 years of broken britain:

Reginald de Freestone had his head caved in 1322 by William de “Grymesby” for drunkenly loitering outside his shop at night w 11 companions.

— Medieval Death Bot (@DeathMedieval) September 30, 2017

17 degrees outside and the bus heating turned up to "bake"

http://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/leicester-news/watch-silver-man-who-swore-471676

not traditional real england fodder but i'm still haunted by this story from time to time.

In his suicide note, Mr McRae wrote: "I believe I was not an evil man until the balance of my mind was disturbed by the fact that there is a patch of Japanese knotweed which has been growing over our boundary fence on the Rowley Regis Golf Course.

It's like something out of one of Roald Dahl's uncanny stories. I keep thinking about the time he first spotted the knotweed, crouching down to get a better look and tugging at it in an initially puzzled fashion.

Damn son.

inventive excuse for murdering somebody

why go into all that when you're going to off yourself anyway though?

well now i'm gonna be haunted by that now too, fucking hell

it's like the start of a junji ito story

or an emo ji story

😀🌱😟🌿😠🤔✍️📫🕰🌿🌱🌿😡✍️📫📆🌿🌱🌿🌱🌱🌿😱👹☠️

You can spray, or inject, herbicides into its stem, but this takes six months so you'll have to be patient. And rich, too - this can cost £1,500 for just a small patch of the weed
It has really a wide-ranging root system, which can extend up to 3m in depth and 7m in all directions. These can pose a serious threat to construction works and have devastating consequences to building foundations and drains.
If you are found to be failing to stop the spread of the plant, you can be issued with an Antisocial Behaviour Order - yes, an ASBO. Under these orders, you could be fined up to £2,500.

Japanese Knotweed doesn't fuck about!

true but that said i'm p sure there is not one documented case of it actually wrecking a foundation

When people are charging £1500 to kill a small patch of weed, it is probably a handy myth. If I'd have got obsessed with it I would have just dug like fuck with a pickax + shovel until every last root was gone. I don't really buy this guy's suicide note and explanation for murder.

jesus that's some awful story, it's the perfume bottle detail that gives it a proper Real England tragic flavour.

inventive excuse for murdering somebody

yeah, that story is now officially in my soul for good, jesus christ

omg estela ffs lol

When people are charging £1500 to kill a small patch of weed, it is probably a handy myth. If I'd have got obsessed with it I would have just dug like fuck with a pickax + shovel until every last root was gone. I don't really buy this guy's suicide note and explanation for murder.

― calzino, Sunday, October 8, 2017 11:10 PM (twenty-six minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I choose to believe the note because of the unbearably sad notion of the ever-growing weed as metaphor for it growing over his brain, smothering his him. Last drop 'Falling down' style.

Also, lol Estela.

"Jane and I were a very private couple, we chose to have no real friends, just enjoying each other.
"But the despair has got so bad that I have killed her, as I did not want her to be alone without income when I killed myself."

Sigh, one of these fucking guys

such a thoughtful chap

killing your wife because of your impending japanese-knotweed-related suicide: insecure or thoughtful?

he saved her the bother of having to make a decision about it

he sat with the body for two days? must've smelled like a chanel house in there

nice

https://d26dzxoao6i3hh.cloudfront.net/items/1v3p362Q2T2d06400b3M/realengland.jpg

Liver so sage

(love the photo)

pressed veal is the archeological find here imo

from cooks.com:

PRESSED VEAL

2 lbs. veal
1 lb. pork (fresh lean)

or

3 lbs veal
2 lbs pork

Do not chop. Put on to boil and cover with water; boil until only 1 cup of liquid remains.

Pull apart with a fork and pack into a small bread tin. Season with salt and pepper and onion juice, if desired.

Cover with oil paper and press with a flat iron.

This is a very old recipe passed down from Minnesota relatives.

Submitted by: Emma Walsh

i sometimes make a terrine which is a fancier version of this but i never use veal as nowhere sells it any longer