Words, usages, and phrases that annoy the shit out of you...

pub that gives you diarrhea

Only mildly annoying, but 31% of all sports highlights nowadays must have an announcer screaming "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" overtop.

Political commentators using the South Park underwear gnome joke. Why did this become a big thing in 2017?

our culture needs more metaphors for situations with strong action but no clear path to success

shock and awe

pretty much every Trump alt-name meme is dumb (orange blah blah etc.) but none is more grating or unfunny than "2 Scoops"

agreed

although "Yam" runs it close

Honestly "President Trump" is much funnier than anything they can come up with.

i always try to say President Trump whenever i can bc i feel like the situation is v serious and we should be v clear about what that situation is

The mind always steers the mouse clicking finger to FP when seeing 'Drumpf', '2 scoops' or 'Yam' (hi Morbs). Fortunately the sole ilxor using 'Turnip' seems to have called it quits.

"this X movie isn't actually a X movie"

ie "this Star Trek movie isn't really a Star Trek movie"

just burn this. it's in the name. it's a pointless argument to make indulgent in its masturbatory consumerism.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/better_life_lab/2017/10/20/please_stop_calling_everything_that_frustrates_you_emotional_labor_instead.html

Seriously, so tired of doing the emotional labor of reading that phrase everywhere. I'm not going to educate you as to why it's annoying, do the work!

it's a dumpster fire of a metaphor, to be sure

haha "emotional labor" is definitely having a moment. i've used it recently but you're right i need to be careful w/ it

i've also very tired of "We Need to Talk About X" in sj clickbait headlines

Lol

ugh my wife sent me an article about 'emotional labor' and I was like this just seems to be a catch all phrase for 'shit that pisses me off'.

IMO "mental load" is a preferable for stuff like "getting the kids onto the school bus" or "worrying about when the car needs to be inspected" or "knowing that the sheets need to be changed" or "filling out all the goddamn field trip forms" and suchlike. Still heavy but less... fraught maybe?

I feel like "emotional labor" is better reserved for situations where you're involved in trying to keep someone together when they are falling apart, or constantly reassuring someone who really wants to tear him- or herself down.

(FWIW in my household I am generally the one who gets up with the kids/makes the lunches/meets the buses/changes the oil/feeds the cat etc., but there are lots of other ways we share the burdens so I think it works out.)

Lads it's 2017 this phrase has been awful since check your privilege was out of nappies

Yeah I think the "mental load" thing is much more useful and specific and very much not a catchall like "emotional labor" is. Mental load is more like the energy it takes to think/worry about all of the things that need to get done to run a household.

xxpost Yes, I feel your more restrictive definition of 'emotional labor', YMP. Inasmuch as I've been in that exact place for the last week and change and it is a distinctively different type of labor (the kind where every time I've gotten a break from it I've collapsed into unconsciousness like a narcoleptic).

Emotional labour works well as a sociological term, see here for example - http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b052jk2s - but I hadn't heard people were using it in this new way before

It seems like a bad fusion of the concept of emotional labor in the workplace and unpaid domestic labor at home.

And then that got extended further, even to, like explaining stuff on facebook.

Also, maybe this is a little bit bad feminist/not-all-men of me, but I get annoyed when I see women who are basically young, single, healthy, childless, and not taking care of a sick partner or elderly parent or something like that complaining about it in the abstract. Like "yeah, I get it, women shoulder more of the burden in general, but YOU personally do not regularly spend your time responding to the constant needs, wants, requests, breakdowns and lash-outs of a 2-year-old and a 5-year-old. So spare me the lecture."

that makes me feel old, because I'm like.. where did they find men who are completely out of touch with modern society who can't emote or discuss things or do laundry? are they socializing with my dad?

man alive, that's not fair imho. i support you embracing your hesitations/qualifiers here --- people can stand up for other people and the whole thing with movements and consciousness-raising is that people discover that their own experiences are part of a struggle that includes people with other, different experiences.

even if you need it to be for their own personal life, you may not know what all they've been through or witnessed. could be speaking out for a family member or friend they watched go through X for years, and recognizing that that person doesn't have the energy or time to speak out. or they may be thinking that the structurally disproportionate burdens of child-rearing are part of a larger complex of energy-draining expectations and exploitations that they've experienced in some different way that's not obvious to you (let's call it patriarchy). maybe they're very aware that they are privileged in not dealing with this problem directly, and think that comes with a responsibility to not act like it's not their problem. or maybe their awareness of these problems has shaped their lives in ways we don't know - maybe they decided NOT to have children because of poor support structures for mothers... who knows?

disclaimer, one of the small feminist acts on my resume, which I do give myself (small sized) credit for when I'm feeling like a bad feminist, was speaking up at a meeting on departmental funding priorities, and saying that child care funding was important even though i'm a single man not planning to have kids, because it affects me in an unquantifiable way if my peers/colleagues are held back by these burdens. one of my affected colleagues told me it meant a lot to her, and that's meant a lot to me. so maybe for ego/emotional reasons this is a particular area where i'm biased towards speaking up on others' behalfs, while in other circumstances (e.g. stereotypical old-school white feminist claiming to speak for all women's issues) i might be inclined more to "oh who are you to speak for x?"

it is pretty not-all-men, yeah. i hope no one is really lecturing you on it, all the same.

"processing" one's feelings. It sounds so industrial. Who the fuck wants processed feelings?

where did they find men who are completely out of touch with modern society

Tsk. As if you didn't already know. Old people, rural people, young urban holdouts. Social change doesn't happen uniformly.

‘if i told you then i’d have to kill you’ strongly guarantees it would have been a painful story to listen to anyway, regardless of content

Charlie: Excuse me, Lieutenant. Is there something wrong?
Maverick: Yes ma'am, the data on the MiG is inaccurate.
Charlie: How's that, Lieutenant?
Maverick: Well, I just happened to see a MiG 28 do a…
Goose: We!
Maverick: Uh, sorry, Goose. *We* happened to see a MiG 28 do a 4g negative dive.
Charlie: Where did you see this?
Maverick: Uh, that's classified.
Charlie: It's what?
Maverick: It's classified. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
Iceman: ‘if i told you then i’d have to kill you’ strongly guarantees it would have been a painful story to listen to anyway, regardless of content

Aimless, did you read my second sentence

Yes indeed I did. Did you read my first (complete) sentence? I figured you had at least a strong suspicion about the answer to your first question, but your second sentence was framed as a question, too, making it sound "as if you didn't already know."

Internet communication is fraught with difficulties. Nuance may be present, but has a diminished impact in this format and so may not be noticed.

well, when it’s vague whether i’m questioning rhetorically, you’re they’re to take up my slack, so... teamwork

'fuck': 'fuck him', 'fuck that', 'fuck them', 'fuck anyone who'. things are fucked but i'm sure we can fuck the world to rights

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iOFKU_hwj2o

anytime a mass shooting or other horrible event happens, all the hand wringing about how shocked you are or how upset you are that you aren't shocked enough. not wanting this to "be normal" as if the world isn't a violent and scary place, as if sensationalism and interpretation of the news is all-important, cleaving righteously to an idealistic "normality" that doesn't and never did exist in reality.

At least it gives you yet another thing to feel superior about, policing people's emotional reactions like that.

In the spirit of the thread I'll point out that I hate the term hand-wringing as it usually refers to someone who's actually concerned about something rather than smirking down on people from an enlightened plateau of "rationality."

hi, I'm here to police your policing of adam's policing. you are now clapped in gaol. thanks.

The main bad thing about that post was that it wasn't about a word usage or phrase

in a similar vein: people saying they are "gutted" every time someone famous dies. I'm trying to mourn Tom Petty here, I don't need to think about your intestines spilling onto the floor.

that use of "gutted" has long been common in the uk but crossed the pond in recent years

was gonna say

I was having a serious "why does everything weigh more in the future" moment

when yanks say "preggers" i die a little bit in my mouth

even if i were english there's just no way i could use that word

"veggies"