Real England

killing your wife because of your impending japanese-knotweed-related suicide: insecure or thoughtful?

he saved her the bother of having to make a decision about it

he sat with the body for two days? must've smelled like a chanel house in there

nice

https://d26dzxoao6i3hh.cloudfront.net/items/1v3p362Q2T2d06400b3M/realengland.jpg

Liver so sage

(love the photo)

pressed veal is the archeological find here imo

from cooks.com:

PRESSED VEAL

2 lbs. veal
1 lb. pork (fresh lean)

or

3 lbs veal
2 lbs pork

Do not chop. Put on to boil and cover with water; boil until only 1 cup of liquid remains.

Pull apart with a fork and pack into a small bread tin. Season with salt and pepper and onion juice, if desired.

Cover with oil paper and press with a flat iron.

This is a very old recipe passed down from Minnesota relatives.

Submitted by: Emma Walsh

i sometimes make a terrine which is a fancier version of this but i never use veal as nowhere sells it any longer

Waitrose sells veal.

What is 'onion juice'? I can make an educated guess, but suspect I'll be wrong.

if you put an onion or five through a blender and then press the resulting paste through a fine sieve then i suspect that is what we are after

one for the troo headz there

Their bodies were discovered at their £170,000 home

fuck you, the Telegraph

quite. still laughing at Tracer Hand's emoji story here.

the ritual declaration of the house price reminds me a bit of medieval deathbot's ritual declaration of the weapon price

A stranger, killed in 1363 by Henry Gibel, who did strike him in the body with a knife. The knife was worth one penny.

— Medieval Death Bot (@DeathMedieval) June 23, 2015

that valuation might be a little optimistic what with the knotweed and the murder-suicide

imagine the indignity of getting killed by a very heavy sheaf of wheat back then.

Did we ever have

Find The Bastard Who Shat Down My Chimney!

http://www.infiniteunknown.net/2015/02/28/find-the-bastard-who-shat-down-my-chimney/

oops sorry for bad formatting

@Joey7Barton Hi Joey. My names Shaun Williamson. I used to play Barry Evans in Eastenders. Can I send you a private message please?

— Shaun Williamson (@ShaunWilliamson) October 18, 2017

lol

Expect to see him in the next Morrissey video.

Haha

Williamson looking for a good betting quote

https://www.theguardian.com/education/2017/oct/21/collapsing-wakefield-city-academies-trust-asset-stripped-schools-millions-say-furious-parents

real England baby, get used to it

I got v little sympathy, every middle class parent in the country is dealing with the devil when it comes to secondary schools

i'm wondering more how you raise 200K with bake sales...?

still, the naked criminality is breathtaking imo

I am going to abandon my plan to become a drug dealer and try and get into this academy school board of directors hustle. Far more lucrative, and probably almost zero chance of a prison sentence.

That article seems like it’s barely scratching the surface. No suggestion of fraud?!? Then where did the money go?

Extremely real sounding hostage situation at bowling alley on Bermuda retail park Nuneaton happening now

Bermuda Park leisure complex, rather

Sounds like toxic masculinity at play rather than terrorism.

Asked if the gunman was known to staff at the bowling alley, he said: “We believe from what my manageress tells me that he is an ex-husband or a boyfriend of a member of staff. That is what I know. I can’t confirm that for definite.”

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/oct/22/hostage-situation-reported-bermuda-park-nuneaton-retail-park-police-ongoing-situation

I'm p comfortable calling most terrorism a subset of toxic masculinity tbh

Not going to argue with that.

Quoted tweet using cry-laugh emoji possibly realest thing about this situation, amidst stiff competition

wrong cry-laugh emoji for perfect realness tbf

https://i.imgur.com/zwVZFPI.jpg

https://images-eu.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51y0pOqpCoL.jpg
https://images-eu.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51j2W6Vd-EL._SY346_.jpg
https://images-eu.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51uZ2edDdpL._SY346_.jpg
https://images-eu.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51tv7plnzPL._SY346_.jpg
https://images-eu.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51kRv55UJyL._AC_US327_QL65_.jpg
all of these still better than offbeat childhood memoirs by bad, not funny comedians imo.

deffo, i once went to the launch of one of these for Jackson's bakery and they gave me a model delivery van and all the red wine i could indiscreetly guzzle

also Poundworld Plus in Hull currently does blocks of Ritter at 75p a pop and i love them

I like Iceland's Best Served Cold title best, like maybe don't try this at home.

Needless to say he had the last laugh!

When I think of how ruthless and terrible some of the people I've worked for have been, and yet they still weren't quite ruthless + terrible enough to get to the Charlie Mullins level. I'm thinking his book might be used as reference in future academia.

Very much looking forward to mark s some day following in this tradition.

"HOT LIKE MY TAKES: a literally impenetrable guide to moral if not financial success (if success it even be)"

i hope charlie mullins’ boom expains why he has christmas decorations up outside his headquarters six months out of the twelve in a year.

book. a “charlie mullins boom” sounds euphemistic. a “brexit bollock”. a touch of the “tim martin mullets”.