Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

If that person has productivity goals tied into their work, they might be just spraying the stress of all that onto you

It sounds like the kind of training I got in the commercial laundry I worked in, my first day they'd show me something and basically do everything short of actually stab me if I didn't do it exactly how they showed me and then say 'I'm not your babysitter, you need to figure this out' and I'm like I'VE BEEN HERE AN HOUR AND THESE MACHINES CAN CAUSE PHYSICAL HARM, BACK THE FUCK OFF.

Office is a bit different obviously. But one thing I learned is that the whole shitty bullying training thing is often a pose to make you think their work is more important than it really is. That THEY are more important. Sometimes there might be contributing factors like productivity goals, or huge workloads that you don't know about...and they're spraying that stress onto you.

Call it out. Get them to talk about their actual workday. Sometimes that can be a leveller.

But ultimately, it's their job to train you and if they don't like you asking questions, too fucking bad. That's how you learn. If they don't show you what to do in a way that helps you learn, tell them. If that pisses them off, oh well. That's a them problem, not a you problem.

above all you must remember that your worth as a person and is not measured by how much you struggle to adapt to a new and difficult workplace change.

One thing that helped me deal with the last place I worked was to keep in my head the idea of a "tolerance level" - have a clear idea of what is and isn't acceptable to you, and be firm when calling it out. Because it's otherwise easy to let things pass and slide and then that level adjusts and you find yourself in a far worse position (eg, "I'm really unhappy with how this person spoke to me but I suppose I can let it go this one time" gives them permission to do it again)

^yes, this exactly

Maybe he resents having to train someone? Some people are ok at their jobs but SHITE at training others

Memories of one brief job (two weeks!) spent watching longingly at the other new person being trained one team over. They'd been paired with a bouncy, chatty, fellow who was really excited about the system and knew how it all worked big picture style. I was paired with a (lovely) taciturn fellow who was clearly expert in the job but just ...

I would also add to the advice about the bully - keep a diary with dates and contexts

Thank you everyone, you've made me feel a lot better. I'm still thinking this one through but yeah in regards to productivity goals, this job is very much heads down and work hard and the whole thing runs like a well oiled machine. I like that, just I'm a peaceful guy and definitely agree with the knowing Yr worth angle. Cheers

Just seconding cardamom--document EVERYTHING

Best of luck, Ross, and hope it gets sorted

so I posted for a new position a few weeks ago. a more mundane job, less stress.

so got through the final interview, was told I should hear something very fast, no later than last Friday. Generally, if you get the position, it's a call, usually if you don't, it's an email. I know the drill. Friday comes and goes with...neither. Of course.

I figure Monday, I'll get the rejection email. Nope - still nothing. Sent a polite email to recruiter trying to ask, without prodding, if there was any ETA. No reply.

Today comes and goes, again nothing. Just sitting out here in limbo.

My guess is that they over-promised and under-delivered - having participated in these interviews on the other side before, I know that even after a decision is made, there's lots more to do. and the people to do it are sporadically on PTO due to the holiday.

It's just frustrating as, good news or bad, I just want to know the answer. If I didn't get it, there's potentially another position that caught my interest. And another company in the wings. all my brain wants to do now is overanalyze things - 'oh, they didn't say no, well if you for sure didn't get it, wouldn't they tell you right away?'. almost worse than being rejected!

I have to do something, though, as this current job is *killing* me. Even in a calmer period like now, I am getting stressed out anticipating each new thing that might go wrong. Our client contact is a nasty bully, and instead of providing internal support, our Executives are shitting it back on us. I've given it right back to them but I am just exhausted at this point.

there was actually a time I was wishing to be hospitalized with something relatively minor that would lay me up for a week just so I could escape this project.

Don't wanna be bleak but have you checked your Junk email box?

yeah nothing there - as it's internal email though our junk mail boxes tend to be relatively empty.

I have wondered if the emails have been going to a dude who has a name that is identical to mine within 3 letters who inexplicably is still sent emails intended for me by lazy senders.

Just seconding cardamom--document EVERYTHING

yes. this. even though it is a pain in the ass, and takes extra time and energy away from you. it is your sword and shield.

agreed. so necessary. it's the only way.
to document, send yourself emails (outside of work time) so everything is time-stamped.

not a person i know but on a huge slack channel for the digital parts of the uk government, somebody asked a question seeking a person who could help them in a particular area.

another person replied (and i'm changing the name slightly): "yes, jill smith is your man"

i'm prob not particularly sensitive to sexism but this goes into the realm of the bizarre.

We're having our own Google diversity memo moment here - but with a very much lower quality of debate.

As a manager, you have the option of following up on something an employee is handling by explicitly inquiring about the status, but it's probably more fun to just passive-aggressively ask 'are you behind in your work? do you need help? what's going on?' without even mentioning what prompted the line of questioning in the first place. Particularly when there's already a well-established timeframe for similar tasks which had not been surpassed and also no other attendant issues which might have prompted such a demonstration of 'concern'. Such cool, awesome behavior that totally makes me want to put in anything more than the most perfunctory effort.

How hard is it to update a calendar to clearly indicate when you're on PTO?

Like the fifth meeting I had to reschedule because somebody had undocumented PTO on their calendars.

Christmas music in the office... fucking awful.

I love Christmas but there's no real need to force it into the office, it's about family and friends, and alcohol.

Yes, playing with Christmas decorations is more important than the urgent job I gave you last Wednesday. Of course it is. Yes, a hat with a bell, hahaha.

all of my worst job moments have involved the music which is forced upon you. it's a workers rights issue imo

why I love working from home, lol

still can't stand lena horne thanks to my first retail xmas 23 years ago

I went to the dentist yesterday and they had their radio tuned to the Christmas station instead of their usual soft hits, and it was way worse. I can't imagine having to listen to Christmas tunes all day, every day for a month straight. The worst job I ever had was terrible mainly because they forced me to listen to hits radio all day, so I was subjected to endless Alanis Morissette and Spin Doctors. My wife spent a lot of time working in various clothing chain stores, and she always talks about how sick they would get of the peppy/trendy mixes that they play all day long on repeat.

I don't understand why people want to bring Xmas music into work. Like I get why shops play it into the floor (even if it drives me crazy) but if I'm in a stockroom or office I don't want to hear it. It's so innappropriate too, I know Christmas is barely a religious holiday any more but it bothers me that people want to inflict their religious celebrations upon me as a committed atheist.

workplace music in retail is the worst, it's the mix of anodyne "suitable for work" blandness and constant repetition that will drive you demented.

I've never worked in an office in which any music was played. Is this a common thing? Just seems completely wrong, no matter what kind of music is played.

modern corporate office buildings skew toward white noise machines, most definitely

yeah, I think it's pretty uncommon.

The one I mentioned was in the office of a small business back in the 90s and it was utter hell.

feel like every week is a variant of...

Person A: how is "xxx" coming along?
Person B: wouldn't know, I'm not responsible - contact Joe Bob about that
Person A: oh ok thx

~one week later~

Person A: Looking for an update from you on "xxx"?
(Person B self-immolates)

(btw I didn't get the internal job I posted for, though I met the criteria...probably 2nd in line.

got another one I'm going for in a month)

At my current office the sales team are allowed to choose a song to play if they make a sale.

I've worked in factories where a radio is on all day, didn't bother me that much although tbf it wasn't Christmas and the main job I'm thinking of I was allowed to listen to a walkman so I could drown it out if say Chris Evans was getting on my nerves

At my current office the sales team are allowed to choose a song to play if they make a sale.

great chance for some Wyatting

Mercyful Fate

i am going to kill my manager (except he’s not my manager - i have two: both of whom claim and deny they’re my manager when it suits them).

too many instances to list, but one of my most illustrative favourites was when we moved offices and just in the way of things i got a fairly decent window seat. i took a couple of days holiday and when i got back he’d shifted himself to the window seat because he was more “important”. it was too funny and sad and obv in the grand scheme of things petty to make any sort of comment about. plus it’s a great example of his vanity, ego, neediness and complete self-defensive wilful ignorance of same.

we had piped commercial radio in the govt office i worked in in the 90 s riiiiight around when the cranberries “zombie” got played enth times a day ugh. to this day i hate it and heart shaped box bcs that.
Once, i snuck into the safe and changed the station to PBS (community radio). despite it playing koori tribal music no one noticed for about 15 mins. then they all yelled “what’s this shit!?”

when i worked at the laundry my goal was to get a job on the steam press bcz then you could have your *own* radio tuned to whatever you wanted & not have to listen to the one on the workfloor

i was never so overjoyed to listen to morning news & talk radio lol

one summer i worked the night shift stocking shelves at a supermarket, where 'classic hits of the 60s/70s/80s' radio played the same songs over and over in different permutations. the highlight of each night was 'suspicious minds'

I worked at the supermarket all through high school and undergrad and was subjected to a horrifying combination of Muzak and the owner loudly whistling along. What I wouldn't have given for classics instead.

When i worked at Best Buy, opening supervisor played Bob Marley's Legend every day for two weeks prior to opening

Well shops play music all the time anyway so thats a lil different... I think I'd go insane if I had to hear thay Woolworths "down down, prices are down!" jingle every 4 songs.

Is public Christmas music a bigger thing in UK and Aus than the US? I feel like I hardly ever hear it in stores here--not big box ones anyway. I heard that Tesco has a santa voice saying "hohoho thank you for shopping at tesco!" or some shit at the register after every transaction!? I think people would lose their shit if a store did that over here

Depends on the store I suppose, but I'm sure some shops here play at least some chrimbo-related shite, Crosby and whatever. I try and avoid shops at this time of year tbh. All hail online ordering.

I worked at an Italian restaurant for 8 years full time and we played the same 3 CDs that entire time. I fucking hate dean Martin and frank Sinatra as a result.

Wheeeeeennnnn the moon hits your eye like a big pizza ow ow ow stop hitting me

some Australian supermarkets play music all the time, but one of the greatest joys of shopping is wandering the aisles listening to a podcast so no idea what they're playing

Music itt > ilm

italian restaurants just play youtube videos of italian restaurant music now

My local Iraqi owned Pizza/fast food place permanently has Russian Music Box TV on with inaudible sound, it's pretty cool tbh.

upthread i told the sorry tale of my colleague who was constantly late for work/meetings, and rude/defensive generally difficult, whose contract was eventually not renewed.

since that event, which he took badly and kind of assumed by some deep neurotic kink could only be because "i was asking too many difficult questions" rather than "just turn up to work on time, you're in your 40s", he has been contacting my boss a lot to ask for references or that kind of thing, also keeps trying to rejoin our team slack channel.

this week he emailed me and suggested we go for a beer "to see how everything is going over there"

i was joking for a while to my boss that he was like the stereotypical jilted husband parking outside his ex-wife's house listening to "who's going to drive you home" but now i actually kind of think it might be a bit like that. he's an okay guy and i am sure i could have a beer with him but it's christmas, i'm studying, and time is fairly precious at the moment. i'm turning down things i'd like to be doing.

feel like i might just not reply. or reply and say "sure how about in the new year" and hope it goes away.

Just in a workshop where an astonishing people feel they should speak up to say in a round-table to say “we need to know more about x”, where it’s clear they haven’t bothered to acquaint themselves with the most basic details of the subject under-discussion.

*astonishing amount of people