start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

Every time I see an SUV or a “crossover” with matte black paint I want to hulk out just enough to flip it over into the middle of the nearest golf course, preferably the 11th hole or so.

IA at myself:

whenever i plan a dinner party ie Thanksgiving or Christmas w family, the menu seems fine right up until the day & then I spin into a full mental panic of self doubt & self loathing
THERES NOT ENOUGH
THIS SUCKS GROSS UGH NO
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

etc

it’s the worst & it drives me insane. stupid brain

it means you're a good host

or a nutter

bmw logos
mercedes logos
lexus logos

.. the list grows

VG i do the same anytime i make something someone else will eat. i'm a good cook, but i'm also a complete nutcase.

i ran out & bought salad fixings 2 hours before guests arrived bcz of my total blind panic

but whole Thanksgiving “dinner party” lasted 2 hrs tops & was perfectly enjoyable in every way, ppl ate the salad but i dont think it made much difference lol

dude posted his Gofundme again. he wants to raise $1,500 due to his car accident, because he states his car was left undrivable and without it, he can't work his second job.

Except he still hasn't stated what the money is for. Presumably his car insurance would pay for the car repairs, and I can't imagine he has a $1,500 deductible (many lienholders won't even let you have a deductible that high). Usually insurance provides a rental car, though maybe he did not elect that on his policy. Is it the deductible? A rental car? Lost wages?

I don't know the guy really or I'd ask him (he's more a friend of a friend) but just irks me when people aren't specific.

After 2 years Firefox on my phone has decided to change around the order of the tabs on my home page.

I was just in a public bathroom--

opened the door and it hit into a dude standing there looking and his phone

another guy standing blocking the sink looking at his phone

another guy standing blocking the paper towel dispenser looking at his phone

like unless there's another 9/11 going on right now you dudes can (mumble mumble)

those people who corner you at work social events and begin their small-talk torture with "so what's the adam story?"

the adam story is fuck off

once upon a time there was a oh is that the time the end

VG, Life Coach.

imo anyone who refers to you in the third person while they’re talking to you is a fuckduster

once upon a time there was a oh is that the time the end

oh wait the adam story is in the car, i’ll just pop out and get it *runs forever*

you know, it’s really the story of someone who is done talking

Is there a temperature at which blu tak fails or something. Just hsd a couple of posters taht i've had up for years drop off the wall unexpectedly.
Or maybe a difference in temperature between 2 sides of a wall.
Seems to happen when the temperature drops.

the people upstairs who are selling their flat turn up every night at 10.30 pm and pace in heels constantly for 2+ hours. this has been going on for two weeks. today they've decided to start at lunch time and are just walking up and down, up and down, up and down.

"Use ctrl + scroll to zoom the map"

also mac shortcuts that are like "⌘⇧⌥⌃G". i've been using a mac for seven years and i still can't remember what every one of these dumb symbols mean.

command shift option control

G means G, G

i mean i remember seeing “G” but it doesn’t come up all that often

for superusers

The touchpad on my laptop has a really sensitive zoom function, so everything constantly re-sizes randomly. It's very obnoxious and angry-making.

also mac shortcuts that are like "⌘⇧⌥⌃G". i've been using a mac for seven years and i still can't remember what every one of these dumb symbols mean

⌥ and ⌃ are not though

https://i.stack.imgur.com/3jP4k.jpg

just looking now, maybe it's just on imacs or something. none of our macbooks have the symbols on the keys, apart from ⌘

people who leave dishes in the sink

either clean them or don't, no need to block the sink with that shit

otm

Yeah a dirty dish is just as dirty in the sink as it was on the table

people do this in offices, like some big magical dish-washing sky god will come along and clean it all up

otm x 10000

xxxxp
https://i.imgur.com/7jOI37v.jpg

ours don’t have that on the keys

https://i.imgur.com/cOjT8d1.jpg

#NotEveryKeyboard

command+food+snot

the silent apartheid of Apple keys

(and the Windows pandering of "alt" on the option key)

TS: Alt-country vs. Ctrl-country vs. Shift-country vs. Conjunction Junction what's your Function-country

“command-country” sounds like it should be an alt right group

Okay, here goes. This is an attempt at a phenomenon that has made me irrationally angry since I was a teenager.

When I was a teenager eating in casual restaurants with my family, I would become angry whenever a menu or a waiter would say something like "...And it's served with our signature sauce." Our. Ours. I can't really even articulate why it made/makes me mad. It seems, on some level, lazy and imprecise language usage (shouldn't it just be "signature sauce" if there is no question who is serving it or who produces it?) and on another level a kind of crass attempt at corporate bonhomie, forcing some poor person who is barely making enough to live on to act out the role of being a longterm representative of friendly family business, or trying to make that same claim to familiarity and innocuousness in writing on a menu. When I worked for chain restaurants and retail I used the term "the" not "our." There's no way I'm going to say "we" or "our" for a company in which I am essentially an interchangeable cash register operator.*

I was watching some cooking videos on YouTube the other day and someone said "Now let's preheat our oven" and got very triggered. IT'S YOUR OVEN. IT'S NOT OUR OVEN. I HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE AND I AM CERTAINLY NOT A CO-OWNER, EVEN IN SOME METAPHYSICAL SENSE, OF YOUR OVEN. "Now let's take half of our cheese and add it to the mixture." GET FUCKED!

*Note that I have already considered the parallel case of sports fans who refer metonymically to their team, club, and all its fans as "We." This is a little different since the affiliation is clearly established and there is some sort of common purpose attached. I'm aware that, on some level, being a fan of a sports team simply means you are a customer of that entertainment product in the same way that you are a customer of "our signature sauce" at Chili's or whatever, but the fact that egregious use of "our" is so hardcoded into the language of mediocre chain restaurants is so, so much more galling to me than a group of fans who get together to commonly hope for glory for a sports team...

the "we" "our" thing in sports fandom is terrible, but i do it fairly regularly :(

I don't actually mind those examples but watching Nigella call a dish 'my summer pavlova' or whatever makes me want to puke.

Maybe related, but I hate how my favourite (and excellent!) nearby sandwich shop has obviously encouraged staff to chat to customers while they're making up sandwiches, including the line, when conversation gets desperate, "How's your Friday going?", or "How's your Monday going?", bringing about IA feelings, to wit, this day is not MINE, firstly, and, secondly, I am struggling to evade thinking of my life as being divided into these compartments: "Wednesday, phew, halfway there!", "It's Friday, yaaasss!" And I'm completely irrational and completely angry still.

Oh jesus, this is all bad. Random thoughts:

1. I also refer to my preferred sports entertainment product as "We" and I'm perfectly fucking fine with that. Because we agreed to do it! It indicates a framework for the usage of "We."
2. Nigella's summer pavlova was really what that Serbian guy drank in the courtroom, so.
3. Sandwich shops—indeed other types of shop as well—which try to induce a false bonhomie between the corporation and the user that is primarily mediated by a low-paid worker doing enforced smalltalk is total BS. "Hey, how's your day going? Have you tried our jalapeno turkey yogurt bowl?" GET FUCKED.

My solution is largely to use local businesses and avoid business travel. I can happily say, in the 21st century, that I know most of the people I do business with personally. There's no "Hey can I get you all started off with our signature alfalfa rinse followed by our famous anal nachos? You betcha!"

I see game streamers use "we" a lot, I guess to refer to themselves and their audience. Definitely makes me IA every damn time.

"We shoulda gone for a first down there instead of punting."

"Oh yeah? WELL HOW COME YOU WEREN'T ON THE SIDELINES MAKING THAT DECISION THEN?"

I hear you loud and clear on the "our" thing though. However, give those cooking ladies on TV a pass. You're supposed to be making the cheese with them! You've got your cheese, she's got her cheese, and together, you have "our" cheese.

The restaurants only get by with using the possessive if they're some wild Taco Bell/truck stop place that uses all kinds of brands. "FIrst, we start with a Doritos taco shell. Then, we put our seasoned beef in there. Finally, it all gets slathered with Jack Daniels sour mash gravy.... etc."

I'm standing leanng agaiinst a rush hour train door when the door opens on my side so I lean in to let people out of the train. & some girl comes in and shoves herself between me and the door I'm leaning in from to stop myself from going out of. So I can't stand up straight between the next stations
I guess that's standard rush hour behaviour and at least there isn't a train employee employed to shove more and more people into a limited space but my back's been killing me for the last couple of days and last thing I need is a small blonde I don't know in the small of my back.

I can't stand it when individuals use email addresses that include their collective family or SOs. Like "bobandj✧✧✧@gm✧✧✧.c✧✧" or "thesmithhouseh✧✧✧@ya✧✧✧.c✧✧" or something like that, even though it's afaict just one person/friend using that address. Because even so, I never know for sure who is actually reading or receiving my messages.