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Also, a phrase people use that never quite comes off the way it's intended to for me is "beard-stroking",
aka chin-stroking for hipsters, amirite 'sup
― The buttermilk of Beelzebub (Tom D.), Saturday, 25 November 2017 12:19 (six years ago) link
My goatee was distracting from my noble mane so I shaved it off. Also every other white male gentrifier in my neighborhood has one so I’m bucking the trend.
― El Tomboto, Saturday, 25 November 2017 15:14 (six years ago) link
For me, wearing a relatively short beard has been classic because for me shaving every day is beyond dud.
― A is for (Aimless), Saturday, 25 November 2017 22:21 (six years ago) link
Uh, maybe? My face is a field of conflict between incompatible impulses. I don't like shaving, and I don't like having a beard.
The normal state is DonJohnsonian permascruff, which is mostly fine. I probably trim and/or shave every week or 10 days. But there is nuance behind this, and a story. Unfortunately it is a very boring story. Sorry.
My facial hair naturally grows into a goatee shape with ease, while the surrounding territory remains scraggly and sparse at best.
For cultural reasons I cannot do a goatee. Some dudes can manage it, but I just look like the worst barista you had in 1992, or maybe the slightly dim hillbilly in a movie. (The one that Pa sends out to the farm in case the Sheriff comes snoopin' around.)
With careful management, I can get a beard-like shape in a month or so. But every time I do so, it starts itching me almost immediately and irritating my wife's skin. So I get abruptly sick of it and go back to Miami Vice territory.
Pro tip: when you're shaving off a beard, it can be amusing to stop at different stages and give them names. Some of my faves:
- 1970s Motorcyle Cop
- Serial Molester
- World War I Fighter Pilot
- Fascist Dictator
- Substitute Junior-High Gym Teacher
- Civil War Cavalryman
― here come the warm jorts (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 26 November 2017 15:57 (six years ago) link
We’re basically in the same boat, but my goatee just looks like I’m going for knausgaard or jesus
― El Tomboto, Sunday, 26 November 2017 16:44 (six years ago) link