Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

Secret Santa today at 4:30 motherfuckers :D

Ask me about our work lotto syndicate when I'm sober

A new coworker has proposed a game for our department office party later this week. We each write down one fact about ourselves on a yellow index card. The cards are then pulled from a hat and read aloud and the rest of us try to guess who it is.

department office holiday party

"I once killed a man just to watch him die"

"I own 3 kimonos"

"I secretly touched all the door knobs in the office with my genitals."

“i am made of bees”

My shit client told an already overwhelmed colleague "I have no idea why you highlighted those rows in purple" and her asshole Waldorf stand-in muttered derisively "maybe she's color-blind".

The person who prepared the Excel...a good friend...actually is colorblind. Our leaders...said nothing.

I have never wanted to hit so many people.

ugh

I swear 90% of workplace assholery and bad undercurrents come from people making assumptions instead of politely asking questions. I idealistically think more workplace diversity will help a little because people will encounter more situations where choices they don’t understand will require people to ask and *scales fall from eyes* but some people just won’t get it

I remember switching to a new software development group and being pleasantly surprised that every application had a settings in the options for an alternate color palette, because one of the senior members of the group is color blind! And the feedback from users was great.

Yea. The guy running our project takes it deeper by asking a presumably innocent question, then chasing it with a snarky remark dripping with judgment.

"Can you research why the rep didn't reference the enrollment materials? We had thought you would share these with the team and that you were on top of this."

So like what is my interest in replying in earnest when you've already presumed my incompetence.

All this for a project we are probably in the red on.

so my project has several key processes that won't be ready on our project's live date in our system (and won't be for 2.5 weeks). I have been tasked with training people on two of them this week, despite me not having confidence in how they work given that they're not available to test in QA.

I've never handled one of them before, the other is completely custom, I've had a ton of technical questions spanning several weeks that I've had to escalate just to get half answers or no answers, and then pretty much everybody who answers those questions decided to take the last few weeks off on PTO. For one of them I was told only one person knew the answers and he's been gone since 12/18.

I've kind of given up and just phoned in a C- effort today because i can't even

we take death reports for life insurance claim processing. we inherited about 12 cases where the person died prior to we took over as recordkeeper, so our admin team has to apply special handling to.

We're on day 9 now since we took over, and they haven't touched a single one of the 12 cases. so people keep calling back. and the main guy they're assigned to blurted out that he had no idea what he was doing yesterday.

There is a guy who works on another team at my job... we'll call him Explainer Man, for reasons which will become obvious.

Explainer Man is annoying as hell. He believes he knows the answer to everything and if he overhears or is somehow exposed to any issue, regardless of whether he is directly involved or not, Explainer Man will immediately intrude and outline his (usually crazy and wrong) theory about what is happening or the best approach to solving the problem. He has interrupted me on at least one occasion while a team member I supervise was asking me a question. The problem is that what Explainer Man is saying usually sounds convincing to someone who isn't a subject matter expert, because he is very good at bullshitting The craziness of some of his explanations even make them seem more plausible in this context.

In some ways my dealings with Explainer Man have been personally enlightening, because I feel like he is a dark mirror of what I could personally become when supervising people on my team. So I am basically trying not to be Explainer Man. The problem is, if you lay back and try not to be Explainer Man, that kind of allows more room for Explainer Man to suck all the oxygen out of the room. I'm pretty sure some of the less savvy people in our department think he is a genius.

Explainer Man is white, around 40, and something is also off about the way he interacts with younger women on his team. I can't put my finger on it, but he seems to particularly direct his explaining on them. This is relevant because...

As mentioned, in the past I just thought this guy was annoying. But recently I took over for my manager temporarily while she went out on medical leave and prior to leaving, she took me in a conference room for a private ,off-the-record conversation about... a number of problematic individuals. One of these people was Explainer Man who apparently has a history of harassment. My manager had previously been his direct supervisor and almost fired him for insubordination, except he posted out before she could build enough of a paper trail on him. He would routinely contradict her, felt she let being a manager "go to her head," and basically undermined her at every opportunity. She told her manager in our current group not to hire him under any circumstances when he interviewed. She thinks he slipped through because of the amount of people being hired and the group interview process, which is charitable of her. (Not to give too much away, but our higher level managers are largely white male former federal law enforcement officers in their 50's or older... we work in financial crimes risk management. To the extent I've personally dealt with them I get the impression that their political views border on the fascistic. I definitely wouldn't expect much sensitivity from them.).

Recently another manager went out on medical leave (basically the only other female manager) and he was FOR SOME INEXPLICABLE REASON EXCEPT YEAH THE PATRIARCHY being considered at her replacement. She again told her manager not to give this man any power, because if he was given any formal authority, he would probably find some way to abuse it. It appears this was disregarded and he's an acting team manager, causing chaos everywhere with his incompetent micromanagement. I have no idea what life must be for people on this team. Apparently he calls them in the evening to check in on their work. I'm busy with my own team and I don't really have time to look over his shoulder, and yeah it's not my job to manage him.

Anyway, this man appears destined to be my peer at the company (as mentioned we're both acting managers and I think he also posted for one of a few openings that have come up, as have I). Obviously I hate him, but I also kind of fear his ability to seemingly escape any consequences for his incompetence and abuse of the people around him. I dislike confrontation, but I'm also aware that I am the kind of person our idiot meathead bosses might actually listen to (i.e. not a woman, not a minority). Not that I have anything concrete to tell them.

I'm aware this is all kinds of fucked up, or maybe it's par for the course. I have no idea. My moral compass is probably 360 degrees of fucked after years of working at a place like this. Sorry for typing all this... this is the first time I've really fully articulated my issues with what is happening in any forum.

So I am basically trying not to be Explainer Man.

I feel like my Explainer Man tendencies are mostly limited to ilx these days (sorry guys) but yes, this is a life epiphany many people need

do any of you have the typical "Escalating Telephone Game" issue at work? I was out sick today with a bad sinus infection, only to log in to see what emails I missed end of day and find the following:

1) two mgrs ask a question about a recent configuration change made that they think was done "in error"
2) the dude who co-sponsored the change, instead of explaining why it was valid, misinterprets what they're saying and opens the door for them to start reverting these changes
3) actual directives are given in a task to begin undoing some of the work
4) I spend 40 minutes having to explain why they changes were correct and should not be reverted, while angrily wondering why the co-sponsor couldn't just do me a solid when I was sick and handle it properly rather than make it worse!

oh most definitely

I have a coworker who has some... tendencies.. that remind me of myself in years past. If something is in question, they'll ask why they have to do it, and if you respond relatively quickly with an answer they don't like, they'll get irritated and very... engaged

first message: this seems complicated, can we do it Y way. this is a standard software service we have implemented, everyone calls it the same way, we don't need to support a one-off

I pass it on to my coworker who handles the security stuff. He says yeah, you need to do this and this. They respond "why do I have to do <thing that isn't quite right>" and he clarifies. Then it escalates into a chain of single sentence questions, sent about a minute apart, for ten minutes without us able to get a word in edgewise.

like I was never quite this intense and not about work stuff, but the rapid-fire frantic thing makes me have to take a breath and calm down because this is exactly how my brain worked when I was EXTREMELY ANXIOUS all the time. it's just not good for my mental health to engage with them like this

sorry, this was me talking, not the questioner
this is a standard software service we have implemented, everyone calls it the same way, we don't need to support a one-off

Finding it difficult to take my boss seriously since she came to me to ask me how to keep her shoelaces tied a few months ago.
But then finding I'm supposed to.

I feel that with the rapid-fire response example above. I find myself having to leave messages unread until I've had time to let the moment pass!

kudos to the colleague who has worn a faded blue Rockport sweatshirt into work today

I just got a phone call thru the normal IVR queue customers'd call in via. I get a roomful of blokes on speakerphone talking, and not acknowledging my "hello? hello?" and it dawns on me that
a) they cant hear me
b) its my Sydney office sales team
c) they're bitching about my team, and the fact we dont answer the phone ever
d) this isnt true but theyre railing about it anyway not realising I'm hearing the lot

I ended up hanging up but man, that was an earful to hear. THANKS GUYS.

^wtf, why do people assume that just cos someone can't be heard, they aren't actually there on the line? there were a few times where I was silent not because I couldn't be heard, but because people were already talking when I joined, and then they'd talk about me like I wasn't there, so I'd surprise them with a hello.

the best comparison I can give for my department currently = that episode of The Bozo Show where Cookie has a fish stand with a sign that says "Fresh Fish Sold Here Today" and Wizzo comes by and criticizes the sign for what he perceives is an overabundance of information and keeps ripping off pieces of the cardboard sign until eventually there's no sign left.

I think with that call they thought they'd hung up, but hadnt properly.

Larry sanders shatner .gif

the other day I was attending a virtual training when one of the learners, thinking they were muted, said loudly "what the fuck is this?"....was quite amusing.

Trying to get transferred atm as this is one of the most toxic jobs I've had the pleasure of doing. Every day it's one off comments like "you're wasting your time doing it this way" when I'm really not or like someone throwing someone under the bus via email. People get away with a lot when they're "blunt" as it blurs the line between bullying and passive aggressive bossiness. I'm within the union so there's a fair degree of protection for those who are good at their job but are soul sucking Jerks

that shit erodes you slowly over time too. hoping you get transferred to a place not full of shitbeaks

I too have applied for a new position (full time trainer) - fairly sure I will have a good shot at getting it, as I have 12 years of related experience within the firm. it just a) might be a slight pay cut and b) not be the oasis I am hoping it will be.

but I have to leave. we've stopped consulting our clients - we have a new one that is demanding all of the customer agents read a 7-page script while helping people enroll in health benefits on calls. 7 pages, shittily formatted, in Word.

my worst co-worker's behavior is starting to annoy people other than me to the point where i believe a supervisor will have to tell her to stop soon and then we will suffer days of sulking and pass-agg social media posts/memes. she takes all her calls on speakerphone and talks very loud with the door open and she is just annoying in general and now has been making backhanded comments to me about stuff i like and don't like and today she was burning a fucking disgusting candle. i walked by and was like can you please put that out? my eyes were watering. it smelled like an overripe melon.

10 minute standup every day at 10. always starts 3 minutes late because one of them can't be dragged away from his keyboard. and 2 of them drift away before the end, or start editing the whiteboard, or looking at their phones. we listened through your updates, return the favour.

god I hated stand ups. we don't really have them where I work now, we just use Slack to keep up-to-date with each other. smaller team though so it's more doable. although having said that I do have to get on a Skype call in a minute which is basically a stand up but that's because we're working with an external company on this project.

it's not any easier because it's 3 pairs all doing different things (at the moment). so only one person cares what any other person is saying, and they should already know.

Used to have a daily stand up with about 40 people in. Obviously that does not fit any normal or useful definition of the term. It was basically the bosses ensuring they were informed about everything without having to prod.

took me way too long to realise that the '10 minute standup' in koogs' post didn't refer to colleagues trying out new takes on 'what's the deal with airline food?' ahead of a weekend appearance at the local open mic

That would probably be worse.

i'm certainly not in favour of it

would 'scrum' have been clearer?

Ruck or maul would be better.

don't use scrum, it reminds me how i'm entirely and riskily ignoring Agile in my day to day

we use the term "huddle" in my office so for a moment I thought you were complaining that a co-worker does a standup set for 10 minutes at the beginning of every shift

so...are these not “meetings”?

the theory is that it's a stand-up because you're supposed to have the smallest group that makes sense, and literally stand up as everyone gives a brief update. no questions or interactions -- that's a follow-up after the meeting

nearly every workplace ends up breaking that at some point, either by introducing too many people working on disconnected things, or by having some idiots who decide to have what should be a follow-up discussion in the middle of the meeting

i'm not sure where else to discuss this... but my partner just got a couple of her coworkers fired. she took to facebook to bitch about her job and had some photos of stuff she though management was doing wrong. it was a private post only her friends etc could see, but obviously not smart. so.. a week later one of her "friends" must have taken screen caps and sent it to the higher ups. she'd already been rocking the boat about what she felt were deceptive practices where she worked, so they haul her in and try to make her sign somethingorother that says she acknowledges she's violated some code of yadda yadda, which she refused. and two of the girls that just happened to be in her photos were also given things to sign – which they did not. they're both on contracts (or were), so i guess don't have the same rights/protection as her, but one's already gotten a lawyer.
anyways, she's pretty upset about this.

Wait, what were they given to sign if they just appeared in the photos but did not post them?

Same form as my partner acknowledging they violated some vague terms of conduct tha no one had ever heard of before.

yeah wow that's fucked

Yup. I feel pretty bad for them. One, apparently was kind of shit, but the other was fine and is the one who has already lawyered up. What’s amazing is they couldn’t even wait for her contract to end (in a month) - they announced it as soon as they got a hard “no” on the papers signing.

aaaand now she (my partner) has just taken stress leave for the week (saw a doctor today). not sure if this makes things worse or if this actually might protect her a little from repercussions.