Real England

on the first night! yes it is hilar

sort of surprised i haven't heard of white people doing artisanal pop-up gourmet kebabs for £9.50 each. surely this has happened

dude:
https://www.standard.co.uk/go/london/restaurants/gastro-babs-london-s-new-wave-of-posh-gourmet-kebabs-a3096141.html

GASTRO BABS

The Typhoid Mary of dysentry.

urge to kebab rising

You guys haven’t heard about FANNY, which is opening on Stoke-fucking-Newington High Street? Couple posh tosspots decided they could do ‘healthy’ kebabs in N16 and were duly rinsed by @Mangal2 and a cast of thousands.

Chuckle Brother Paul tweeted that he had got three pieces of chicken and chips at Leicester Forest Services

For those who contacted the Police about KFC being out of chicken ... please STOP. Their website says the Prestwich store is now open if you want to follow the four police cars through the drive thru ..

— GMP Whitefield (@GMPWhitefield) February 20, 2018

This is one of the greatest videos to have ever graced the tl pic.twitter.com/Tb6oeNnU4l

— Jay (@jayandreas_) February 28, 2018

amazing

learning not to swear at five o is a rites of passage thing, although some idiots don't learn their lesson after the first time!

you guys would have loved my high school

all that's missing is a donk on it

what does this mean: "he bics his hair because he's baldy"

(i understand the second bit)

Bic razor

truly he is the calum of drunken badinage

I took it as drawing dots on his head to make it look like he's still got hair, in a cartoon fashion!

does that work? asking for deems

probably about as useful as gluing your arse-hairs on your head.

the drawing dots thing is a funnier insult, bcz beano-esque

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/beano/images/a/a2/1815824-wilfred.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20161018145417

is that smiffy?

no that's wilfred, smiffy wears yellow and has a kind of tonsure

is bic as a verb a regional peculiarity?

guy in the phone booth ftw

"er... partially" is my favorite part of that

not sure which part of real england that was filmed, but bic is a verb in sheffield fwiw

Fiorucci Made Me Hardcore - Mark Leckey (poll)

https://images.bigcartel.com/product_images/191547091/YOURS2.JPG?auto=format&fit=max&h=1000&w=1000

from fake England, but understood "bics" immediately

joker otm tbh

https://78.media.tumblr.com/12fd0cdb895147fb21167a4e9fe5d763/tumblr_moxvzdMNr01s11vqao5_1280.jpg

i know it's scotland but this feels like the right thread

In a laver: seaweed shuts nuclear reactor again in bad weather

EDF’s Torness plant east of Edinburgh has previously been taken offline due to jellyfish

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2018/mar/05/seaweed-shuts-nuclear-reactor-edf-torness-plant

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DYhz9KVWkAASN8T.jpg

you wouldn't think it to look at her

thread

my new favourite hobby is watching old clips from airline of people not being able to get on their flights . a personal favourite : mouse woman pic.twitter.com/TQwtmMAd4F

— Tom Walker (@tomwaIker) March 25, 2018

I know someone who was on this show, missed his flight and made up a complete lie, about missing his brother's wedding or something, to get on another flight. He doesn't even have a brother.

cannot watch shows about pigs or airport pigs, they make me v rationally angry

was up north this weekend. was told about a babbys yed. seems real english.

"In Wigan you can still go to the chippy with your own Pyrex dish and ask for: “A babbys yed – leave t’elmet on – chips an’ pea wet.” The translation of this puzzling indigenous language: “A baby’s head [steak pudding], with the tinfoil still on with chips and pea wet.” As to the aforementioned steak pudding it is so named due to the gentle dip in the top of the suet which bears a striking resemblance to the depressed fontanel of a new-born infant whose skull plates have yet to move into position."

mmm baby brains nomnomnom

"pea wet" universally understood and needs no translation i guess?

Haha I clearly remember the first time I went to a chip shop with my friend (also from Wigan) and heard him ask for a baby's head (fwiw he deffo didn't pronounce it "babby's yed") - I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/fury-after-morrisons-wouldnt-sell-14533827

it just feels More and More like this countrys changing

' “There’s more to this,” he said. “Morrisons have got their own agenda. '

THIS is Real England April 2018. All conspiracy theories and desperate hopelessness.

Yeah '..agenda' is the new 'narrative'.

In fact 'They've got their own agenda' is to the late 2010s what 'It's political correctness gone mad' was to the mid-1990s.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DbVQDYfW0AEPXIC.jpg:large

Ketchup for Surrey? Guess they never asked anyone in Woking.

I feel I will never fully grasp Real Englishness cos I can't for the life of me understand the appeal of chips and gravy.

If I'm having sausages and chips I'll make some instant onion gravy. I can't get down with curry sauce.

just think of it as shitty poutine