SADDO: THE MOVIE (aka READY PLAYER ONE)

RAiders of the lost ark certainly becomes a lot more sad

that one you can keep the whole thing

Minority Report, you lose the part where they break him out of cold storage

Schindler's List, you lose the part where a bunch of people hug Schindler or something

Another variation on this that might have been cool is if this were a celebration of nostalgia that just got everything wrong. Like, they're hundreds of years beyond the heyday of these properties and all that remains are scattered fragments hinting at what once was and they think moldering boxes of Franken-Berry actually depict Frankenstein's monster.

Franken-Berry is Dr. Frankenstein, Count Chocula was the monster

Kinda like how we just think of Socrates as a philosopher but have no record of his larger career as a motocross champion.

Plato was swole

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77alKlYzGEQ

Now that I would pay to see.

Am I crazy for thinking that Spielberg still might be able to do something with this mess? I mean, the trailer is obnoxious, and the book (which I only know anything about because of the I Don't Even Own a Television podcast) is notoriously awful, but I insist on believing that he must have had some vision for this to even take it on in the first place.

tbf most are better if you take the last twenty minutes of the movie out

I did walk out of AI a couple of hours in, but there had only been twenty good minutes in it so far

I’ve never watched more than twenty minutes of that one, either

The io9 reviewer doesn't like it, which honestly shocks me. (The commenters are crawling up his ass for it, which surprises me a lot less.)

The good 20 minutes in AI are the ones immediately following the adaptation

xp There are a couple good io9 writers, Evan being one, typically.

There is at least one that spends half the time assembling lists and the other half doing regurgitated press release crap that irritates me to no end.

Adaptation isn’t a Spielberg movie, you can’t fool me

Yeah, Evan's no slouch. (If it had been German Lussier writing it, it would have been a tongue bath.)

Am I crazy for thinking that Spielberg still might be able to do something with this mess?

spielberg hasnt done anything worthwhile with even his own boring messes for years fyi

a little bit of me is thinking about going to watch this just to see if i can open myself to the joy of pure cinematic spectacle like what the reviewers say

liveblog pls

also compare/contrast with picasso

masters of their field making deliberate shit of it once established etc

a little bit of me is thinking about going to watch this just to see if i can open myself to the joy of pure cinematic spectacle like what the reviewers say

this is the kind of mindset that leads the protagonists in horror stories to unspeakable fates in the eldritch grip of the elder gods fyi

can't liveblog from the cinema i'm not a monster

don't know if i could trust myself to be "fair"

if there's one thing we value here on ilxor dot com when it comes to opinions on cultural products, it's fairness

ay but i've never really subjected myself to stuff i don't care about just for the sake of scoring smug self-affirmation, if i'm going to sit thru a thing i need to really believe i could find something good in it wait i know where this train of thought is heading

marriage

i don't think i could do that to anybody a third time

If any of you are forced to attend this movie please do this pic.twitter.com/v018T7sjxe

— Samantha Wallschlaeger (@StillNotSam) March 12, 2018

if you play those games you're already one of the people you think you're mocking

i don't even understand that shit.

Who are these people forced to attend this movie?

Critics. Partners of nerds. Masochists.

Can I watch it in VR y/n?

yes bring your glasses

Can I watch it in VR y/n?

https://www.wired.com/story/ready-player-one-vr/

The Iron Giant towers over the dancefloor, light beams shooting from its eyes; if you fly around enough you'll eventually spot Freddy Krueger cutting a rug, as well as DC icons Aquaman, Harley Quinn, and Catwoman. And while the environment will eventually host DJs playing their own selections, it will launch on Thursday with a suitably ’80s playlist featuring WB holdings like Depeche Mode and a-ha. TheWave's other cofounder, CEO Adam Arrigo, says that the company had already been planning to create an ’80s-themed environment, and struck an agreement to keep the Distracted Globe experience up for a year, opening the door for future "Waves" to be held there.

i don't get it surely the Iron Giant isn't from the 80s?

didn't even realise it was a cultural icon tbh, at least not since i was at infant school and teachers used to read the book to us on the reg

yeah, it is a bit weird that the iron giant and characters from overwatch and stuff are in this - maybe the licensing department got a bit carried away

it's almost like they've chucked any old IP they had hanging around at the film in the expectation that the target audience will laugh and clap regardless

*laughs, claps*

result!

i've just thought about a version of this that mines 60s culture memes and can't decide if it would be worse or better

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (the comic not the terrible film) did that pretty well

austin powers

lol otm

the key difference with austin powers tho is that it parodied the 60s and rpo (assuming the film is a faithful adaptation of the book) is an unironic celebration of the 80s

I want to see a film that mines my nostalgia for 2015.

plz change thread name to SPIELBERG HATING SADDOES PART XXVII

spielberg exploiting saddoes surely

pretty sure Spielberg's involvement in this is not a major cause of the mockery

i read through the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull wiki for a primer and was kind of surprised to see it actually got decent ratings from critics and made a ton of money in spite of being a stinker and everyone hating it. it's the most successful entry in the franchise, ofc not taking into account movie tickets are at least 2-3x what they were when Raiders was in theaters.

all he has to do here is passable and it will make a billion dollars