SADDO: THE MOVIE (aka READY PLAYER ONE)

austin powers

lol otm

the key difference with austin powers tho is that it parodied the 60s and rpo (assuming the film is a faithful adaptation of the book) is an unironic celebration of the 80s

I want to see a film that mines my nostalgia for 2015.

plz change thread name to SPIELBERG HATING SADDOES PART XXVII

spielberg exploiting saddoes surely

pretty sure Spielberg's involvement in this is not a major cause of the mockery

i read through the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull wiki for a primer and was kind of surprised to see it actually got decent ratings from critics and made a ton of money in spite of being a stinker and everyone hating it. it's the most successful entry in the franchise, ofc not taking into account movie tickets are at least 2-3x what they were when Raiders was in theaters.

all he has to do here is passable and it will make a billion dollars

yeah, spielberg's involvement is, admittedly, frankly baffling but my issue is def with the source material, not the director

plz change thread name to SPIELBERG HATING SADDOES PART XXVII

― ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, March 14, 2018 7:19 AM (twenty-nine minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Love watching you preemptively defend this as if it's just another Spielberg joint even though it's the sort of thing you'd excoriate if it were directed by anyone else. The struggle brewing within you would make for a very compelling film. Maybe Spielberg can fit it in between Indiana Jones and the Secret of the Golden Truss and Sprang Break Tintin.

No, no, it's true what Armond Morbius says: the hatred for this obvious piece of shit is entirely rooted in ILX's collective and irrational hatred for America's greatest director.

I love a whole lot of Spielberg. I also love a whole lot of trashy pop culture. It's okay to admit that this marriage of Spielberg + trashy pop culture looks bad and wrong and dumb.

A reminder that the fourth highest-grossing film of all time is Jurassic World - this will do fine at the theaters.

Armorbius

I re-watched Temple of Doom recently and it blows my mind that people were perfectly willing to accept the life-raft scene in that, but not the fridge scene in Crystal Skull.

i didn't mind the fridge scene nearly as much as the whole ufo farrago and the entire existence of thebeef tbh - if anything i'd have been happier if it had stayed within the boundaries of 50s cold-war paranoia

i'm suing you guys

Fridge scene is legit great. I think I posted this recently but if the rest of the film matched that and the Cambridge scenes it'd be up there in the top drawer of Spielberg funtime movies instead of down near The Lost World and Hook.

(also i don't nec give a flying shit about this movie)

they should have replaced lebeouf with that monkey that had a pompadour in all scenes

'nec' doing a lot of heavily lifting there doc

they should have replaced lebeouf with that monkey that had a pompadour in all scenes

i think they did and that's why thebeef was tolerable in fury

maybe cuz none of us have seen it! xp

look let's not let details like that get in the way of a 900-post thread before opening day

how many of those threads are clowning on the disastrously bad book though?

er posts, you know what i mean

I think I posted this recently but if the rest of the film matched that and the Cambridge scenes it'd be up there in the top drawer of Spielberg funtime movies

yeah, it really goes to shit once they reach the jungle

i'd need to watch it again to confirm and let's be honest that's not gonna happen but my recollection is that it's also hamstrung by harrison ford's sleepytime performance as indy, which probably is even more glaring after he actually showed up to work in the force awakens and blade runner 2049

fair point xp

it blows my mind that people were perfectly willing to accept the life-raft scene in that, but not the fridge scene in Crystal Skull

imo the raft scene rules and the fridge scene rules. i loved the imagery of Indy standing in front of the a bomb. Temple has way bigger issues than the raft scene and Crystal Skull has way bigger issues than the fridge scene. tbh i'm not sure i've read anyone complain about the fridge scene outside of "Top 10 reasons Crystal Skull sucked" listmakers or the general trend of deciding why other people dislike things for them.

I mean "nuking the fridge" became the replacement phrase for "jumping the shark" . . .

to be fair to crystal skull, its not really fair that people say the aliens as a shark-jump, but were totally fine with the ARC OF THE COVENANT and HOLY GRAIL.

come on bros. there are many reasons crystal skull is shitty but that one doesn't wash.

*saw the aliens

ark of the covenant and the holy grail: biblical hogwash

aliens: sci-fi hogwash

i prefer to keep my flavours of hogwash separate

admittedly i'd probably have been more open to the aliens if they weren't total bollocks tho

I should probably watch past the first half hour of Crystal Skull sometime. Or should I.

well, it doesn't get any better iirc so draw yr own conclusions

yeah if the second half of the movie, and the alien climax, had actually been good and interesting and fun, i don't think people would have come back to work the next week saying "it was so dumb, aliens, are you kidding me?"

i think the power of the Indiana Jones films partially came from dabbling in the old ancient legends that tie into actual human history and its more sepulchral and haunted elements, as opposed to shiny scifi (which feels out of place and was also executed poorly.)

every ILX film thread ever

1) Anticipating new film by est'd filmmaker
2) Shit on/be excited for said film
3) Recapitulate last popcorn film made by said filmmaker, endlessly
4) Go see new film on opening weekend, debate
5) Thread is a ghost town on 3rd weekend

btw Spielberg's lede on every Crystal Skull interview was "George wanted to do it"

so you guys shd be shitting on The BFG

You guys are acting like extraterrestrial phenomena somehow falls outside the purview of a mid-20th century archaeologist.

Morbs, steps 4 and 5 don't really figure in here because no one will see it and it will be gone in a week. Maybe less than. Spielberg's career is over, mark my words.

3.5) morbs repeatedly shows up to look down at his nose at posters having the temerity to discuss things on a discussion board

yellowcard for off-topic

I dunno, kinda feel like any possible ILX post would be on topic in a thread with 'SADDO: THE MOVIE' in the title.

"because no one will see it and it will be gone in a week. Maybe less than. Spielberg's career is over, mark my words." that's crazy talk.

he's funnin', it's an improv premise!

“I would argue that masturbation is the human animal's most important adaptation. The very cornerstone of our technological civilization. Our hands evolved to grip tools, all right—including our own. You see, thinkers, inventors, and scientists are usually geeks, and geeks have a harder time getting laid than anyone. Without the built-in sexual release valve provided by masturbation, it's doubtful that early humans would have ever mastered the secrets of fire or discovered the wheel. And you can bet that Galileo, Newton, and Einstein never would have made their discoveries if they hadn't first been able to clear their heads by slapping the salami (or "knocking a few protons off the old hydrogen atom"). The same goes for Marie Curie. Before she discovered radium, you can be certain she first discovered the little man in the canoe.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

of all the terrible stuff i've heard of from RPO, the fanboy attempts at aping Neal Stephenson are maybe the least-commented and most eye-rolly to me. that entire section is a blatant cover version of the "mathematician works out equation on how often he needs to have sex in order to crack Nazi codes" sequence from Cryptonomicon, which was not (in case you were in doubt) one of the better sequences in said book. i get that this novel is essentially one step up from fanfic so i understand how that happened but c'mon.

the key difference with austin powers tho is that it parodied the 60s and rpo (assuming the film is a faithful adaptation of the book) is an unironic celebration of the 80s

― in conclusion, it is good to peel the sheeps (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, March 14, 2018

it's not even a celebration! it's just a list.

of all the terrible stuff i've heard of from RPO, the fanboy attempts at aping Neal Stephenson are maybe the least-commented and most eye-rolly to me...

― Doctor Casino, Wednesday, March 14, 2018

def super irritating from the jump. good artists borrow, great artists steal, crap artists copy/paste

“I would argue that masturbation is the human animal's most important adaptation...
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

― jmm, Wednesday, March 14, 2018

stupid on multiple levels since non-human animals also love 2 fap