SADDO: THE MOVIE (aka READY PLAYER ONE)

I should probably watch past the first half hour of Crystal Skull sometime. Or should I.

well, it doesn't get any better iirc so draw yr own conclusions

yeah if the second half of the movie, and the alien climax, had actually been good and interesting and fun, i don't think people would have come back to work the next week saying "it was so dumb, aliens, are you kidding me?"

i think the power of the Indiana Jones films partially came from dabbling in the old ancient legends that tie into actual human history and its more sepulchral and haunted elements, as opposed to shiny scifi (which feels out of place and was also executed poorly.)

every ILX film thread ever

1) Anticipating new film by est'd filmmaker
2) Shit on/be excited for said film
3) Recapitulate last popcorn film made by said filmmaker, endlessly
4) Go see new film on opening weekend, debate
5) Thread is a ghost town on 3rd weekend

btw Spielberg's lede on every Crystal Skull interview was "George wanted to do it"

so you guys shd be shitting on The BFG

You guys are acting like extraterrestrial phenomena somehow falls outside the purview of a mid-20th century archaeologist.

Morbs, steps 4 and 5 don't really figure in here because no one will see it and it will be gone in a week. Maybe less than. Spielberg's career is over, mark my words.

3.5) morbs repeatedly shows up to look down at his nose at posters having the temerity to discuss things on a discussion board

yellowcard for off-topic

I dunno, kinda feel like any possible ILX post would be on topic in a thread with 'SADDO: THE MOVIE' in the title.

"because no one will see it and it will be gone in a week. Maybe less than. Spielberg's career is over, mark my words." that's crazy talk.

he's funnin', it's an improv premise!

“I would argue that masturbation is the human animal's most important adaptation. The very cornerstone of our technological civilization. Our hands evolved to grip tools, all right—including our own. You see, thinkers, inventors, and scientists are usually geeks, and geeks have a harder time getting laid than anyone. Without the built-in sexual release valve provided by masturbation, it's doubtful that early humans would have ever mastered the secrets of fire or discovered the wheel. And you can bet that Galileo, Newton, and Einstein never would have made their discoveries if they hadn't first been able to clear their heads by slapping the salami (or "knocking a few protons off the old hydrogen atom"). The same goes for Marie Curie. Before she discovered radium, you can be certain she first discovered the little man in the canoe.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

of all the terrible stuff i've heard of from RPO, the fanboy attempts at aping Neal Stephenson are maybe the least-commented and most eye-rolly to me. that entire section is a blatant cover version of the "mathematician works out equation on how often he needs to have sex in order to crack Nazi codes" sequence from Cryptonomicon, which was not (in case you were in doubt) one of the better sequences in said book. i get that this novel is essentially one step up from fanfic so i understand how that happened but c'mon.

the key difference with austin powers tho is that it parodied the 60s and rpo (assuming the film is a faithful adaptation of the book) is an unironic celebration of the 80s

― in conclusion, it is good to peel the sheeps (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, March 14, 2018

it's not even a celebration! it's just a list.

of all the terrible stuff i've heard of from RPO, the fanboy attempts at aping Neal Stephenson are maybe the least-commented and most eye-rolly to me...

― Doctor Casino, Wednesday, March 14, 2018

def super irritating from the jump. good artists borrow, great artists steal, crap artists copy/paste

“I would argue that masturbation is the human animal's most important adaptation...
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

― jmm, Wednesday, March 14, 2018

stupid on multiple levels since non-human animals also love 2 fap

btw i saw a Mae West movie last night where her beau said "I've been thinking a lot about you."

Mae: "You must be awfully tired."

(or "knocking a few protons off the old hydrogen atom").

hydrogen has one proton you fucking idiot. I'm dumb as shit and I know that

lmao i missed that completely

tbf i didn't get that far

loool

fridge scene shit and let you know that shit was all you were gonna get

aliens shit

so I had no idea Stephen Granade had written about this years ago: http://granades.com/2011/11/30/ready-player-one-reinforces-some-bad-geek-outlooks/

(the comparison to The Westing Game is interesting, because it's fairly clear subtext of the book that Westing was a bad person who mistreated his employees, committed fraud, and whose "game" was a manipulative-at-best act of revenge against his ex-wife.)

fridge scene shit and let you know that shit was all you were gonna get

aliens shit

― the clodding of the american mind (darraghmac), Wednesday, March 14, 2018 2:40 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark

fridge scene was great imagery. straight out of a pulp magazine cover. believability-wise Indy has always been superhuman, riding the sub and all.

aliens was shit and it was Speilberg doing a reference to the ending of the Fate of Atlantis videogame. so in a way he is doing that trick again 10 years later.

no it was shit

i'd thought about Westing Game before too. the comparison of Halliday and Westing as people is interesting and revealing, and agreed, you're supposed to realize along the way that this dude despite all his wonka-ish mischief is maybe not so cool. nice trick for a kid's book. but mostly i'd thought about how poorly Cline's narrative seems to rip it off. Westing's dickish puzzle is actually fascinating, clever, intricate - you're as eager for the next chapter's clues as the characters are and hoping to figure it out for yourself. Halliday's dickish puzzle is barely a puzzle, more of a Sporcle "guess my K-pop bias" quiz: if you like the same things Halliday liked, you and the characters will figure it out immediately!

basically i assume Cline read TWG as a kid, retained none of its structure or devices since he is a terrible writer who doesn't think about such things. it's hard to write a book like that (which Raskin's peers apparently recognized by giving her the Newberry for it). but what did stick, in the back of his mind the fantasy that one day a rich guy would stage a contest and let him get rich himself despite not being good at anything. irritatingly, this is more or less what seems to have happened for him.

I read the Westing Game a ton of times as a kid. I guess if this is something like that for this generation, only with shoehorned nostalgia, it could have some redeeming aspects

it is nothing like that and has no redeeming aspects

^

it was Speilberg doing a reference to the ending of the Fate of Atlantis videogame

Writing Credits (WGA)
David Koepp ... (screenplay)

George Lucas ... (story) and
Jeff Nathanson ... (story)

Thank u for the Fate of Atlantis writing credits, Morbs, now we know who Speilburg ripped off for his Crystal Skull screenplay.

fun detail

At the time a sequel to Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: The Graphic Adventure was decided, most of the staff of Lucasfilm Games was occupied with other projects such as The Secret of Monkey Island and The Dig.[25][26] Designer Hal Barwood had only created two computer games on his own before, but was put in charge of the project because of his experience as a producer and writer of feature films.[25][26] The company originally wanted him to create a game based on Indiana Jones and the Monkey King/Garden of Life, a rejected script written by Chris Columbus for the third movie[26] that would have seen Indiana looking for Chinese artifacts in Africa.[26][27] However, after reading the script Barwood decided that the idea was substandard, and requested to create an original story for the game instead.[26]

https://www.twitter.com/radicalbytes/status/974427078970941440

What more do you really need to know? Unforgivable. pic.twitter.com/XqUFjNAfvy

— Jonathan McIntosh (@radicalbytes) March 15, 2018

again, that "criticism" is like "my childish relationship to this nostalgia bait trumps your childish relationship to this nostalgia bait"

like you *already lost* if you have an opinion on if how the Iron Giant is represented in Ready Player One is good or bad

wait til you snowflakes get a load of the carnivorous moomins

jk some things are sacred whiny is Ernest Cline and I claim my 5

The Westing Game is peerless I hope kids are still reading it

looks like I'm gettin dragged to this opening night. tempted to steal the idea of shouting every reference and getting it wrong

tho the theatre didn't exactly erupt in anger when someone said "Hellboy!" when Thanos showed up in the post-credits of Avengers

Whiney u are such a grown-up, I hope I can be a grown-up like u someday, please teach me to put away my childish things oh please won't u, I'm so tired of *already losing*

Whinesplainin

lmao at y'all cuckflake babies who don't think everything Ted Hughes ever wrote should be rented out by Warner Bros

i agree with Whiney and can't wait for the scene with Captain Planet rolling coal

just lmao at all you idiot loser babies who like things. I don't like stuff

otm

no tbf i like age-appropriate stuff

Can't wait until I'm finally old enough to watch Matlock.

adherence to historical context is such a childish endeavor.

superiority is the only true adult sport.