SADDO: THE MOVIE (aka READY PLAYER ONE)

People who learned about criminal justice from commercials featuring animated mascots absconding with cereal. Who learned about working from listening to their aging parents complain about it over dinner. Who learned about masturbation by doing it all day long with the blinds drawn while weeping copiously.

i object to your third point on uh personal grounds

It pains me that people get paid to drool out opinions like these while I sit here dropping gold on this board all day long for nothin'. Where's the justice, I ask you.

People who learned their friends from Xbox Live?

TBF, weepy self-abuse is, I'm sure, becoming a more popular pastime with every passing day.

you need to work harder to suggest seething, barely-suppressed racism in everything you write, that's where the money is if this guy's anything to go by xxp

But is gaming and nerd culture in need of legitimacy?

In the case of Black Panther, absolutely.

This is getting confusing.

Oh, I see, it's a Dadaist piece. I feel like such a dope for having expected coherence and lucidity and basic writing skills.

thing is, gaming is 'legitimate' by any rational definition - games have made more money than hollywood for years now, hundreds of millions of people play games on their phones or on facebook or both every day, mainstream gaming's biggest names like mario or pikachu probably have more global recognition than any movie star

the problem is self-identified 'gamers' who scream for recognition of games as art but ruin lives when someone makes even the slightest move towards offering the mildest form of artistic critique, and seek social acceptance for their entirely illusory skillset built in a medium which actively prevents them from engaging directly with society

finally, a movie which speaks directly to a culture of total morons

like MARVEL never happened

http://sensesofcinema.com/assets/uploads/2016/07/Macovaz-Image-5.jpg

i just hope spielberg is prepared for the backlash when there's a nerdsplosion after tracer from overwatch gets cucked by panthro from thundercats in the background of a scene or whatever - packing this many nerd treasures into a single movie is basically a nerd-rage wages of fear type situation, where the slightest knock could blow the whole thing sky-high

Yeah, I've been thinking that this thing is going to tank with its target audience if Spielberg has the temerity to, oh, say, depict the female characters as something other than castrating harridans without journalistic integrity.

xp obviously I need to unplug from the internet because my first thought was "hmm ok so who is Tracer's girlfriend who Panthro is hooking up with"

tsk, so heteromormative

I'd correct you but it'd involve admitting I know who "tracer from overwatch" is

wait i fucked that up never mind

mods pls stike this mutually embarrassing exchange from the record, don't wanna look like a fool in the ready player one thread

I think I just realized who the movie is meant for, though

Well, as BG says, the actual market for this is much larger than a loud minority - this will do fine.

we're finally going to mainstream video game slash fiction

god if only

honestly I'm surprised this isn't a movie thing. we can get alien and predator in the same film, so I can't wait for the Tomb Raider/Assassin's Creed crossover. natural fit, really

my kids are very ready to see this. they both really liked the book. also, they are kids.

my youngest saw a wrinkle in time and he said it felt "empty". which is pretty scathing coming from him.

*resigned sigh*

https://io9.gizmodo.com/last-action-hero-and-ready-player-one-screenwriter-shoc-1823991953

He got the ILM guys to do it

the reference-heavy, self-aware book

one of these adjectives is very wrong

Ready Pop-Cultural Ouroboros

listening to audiobook of this. can't quite decide on which part has been worst so far, but the part where he describes the plot of bladerunner and who all the characters are is certainly up there

that's like cutting your own ear off just to see if it's as painful as you imagine it would be

Sounds like Cline might be looking at a lawsuit from Wikipedia.

kind of reminds me of how on Nathan For You he hired a dude off Craigslist to ghostwrite a workout book but only gave him a week to write it, so there are entire pages which are just descriptions of the foods he likes

Thank you for reminding me to read my copy of The Movement: How I Got This Body By Never Going To The Gym In My Life by 'Jack Garbarino', which I'm sure is a more inspired read than Ready Player One by Ernest Cline.

great thing about that title is that it draws you in while never once claiming that jack's body is a desirable body

its definitely got more of an emotional core, thanks to the death of Dende the jungle child

(I'm willing my supple and elegant comedic mind to come up with an adequate bridge between The Movement and Ready Number Two in order to construct something that resembles an actual joke instead of just a couple of poop references that make me giggle like a six-year-old.)

The sequel will be called "Continue? Insert Coin"

ready player pwn morelike amirite fellas

the best thing about the audiobook is Will Wheaton aka the worst fucking character from TNG doing his 'Japanese person' voice. it's really special.

O_O

MIckey Rooney couldn't be summoned from beyond?

wow, can you share the audio at all? or is that a bad idea?

There are certain segments of the audiobook up on YT, but I don’t know if that one is there:

https://youtu.be/Q0wNSzPzn2o

wondrous thread:

Oh I hated this movie so so much. What an irredeemable piece of treacly, incoherent garbage https://t.co/zYWSJA5PA2

— This fall on CBS, Kevin James is: (@Boringstein) March 29, 2018

lmao @ the shining, movie could not be working harder to personally call my bluff

Eric didn't hate it enough for you bitches

https://www.slantmagazine.com/film/review/ready-player-one

i'm genuinely looking forward to hearing your impressions of this, morbs

lol by the time i'm READY it will be gone from theaters, very likely

"Ready Viewer One."

"What?"

"Well, you're the only one who bought a ticket."