Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

Canadian-American

second that your coworkers are idiots.

one thing i've realized about dumb fuck coworkers who needlessly argue with you - bet money. tell them to put $20 on the line that he's not Canadian. normally, i find, that shuts an idiot up.

I just say "uh huh" and walk away typically. If it happens at my own desk I go to the restroom and get some coffee and take my time doing it.

alleluia is an accepted if old spelling innit?

yes, it can have various specific contextual meanings in that spelling too

ya which is why i thought it prudent not to use it in an email ad about easter going out to like thousands of people

this is a weird company tho

(talking about the recent BBC series about best/weirdest/extreme hotels)

"Have you seen it? It's really good although I don't like Giles Core much."
"Who does he present it with?"
"That Monica woman. Monica Lewinsky I think it is."

Whoever left the fridge door open overnight when I'd left a pasty in it yesterday which I now don't dare eat. Boo.

(Someone is probably going to tell me I'm being fussy but I had a bad time last time I ate something which had gone unrefrigerated for an unknown number of hours and tbh I'm a fat bastard and should not be eating pasties anyway)

the latest thing in my office from Execs is pure CYA confirmations - i.e., them asking for statuses of things not because they actually give a shit and want to know the state of the state, but so they can trap you into confirming something in writing to nail you with later.

like today, a customer service manager was asked - "can you confirm the extract of test cases were inserted and that the database will be somewhat stable tomorrow". The former is easy to confirm - the latter, lol GTFO. we're a 100+ client company with thousands of users, any one single thing could render the database slow af, and nobody in fucking customer service can control or prevent it.

weirdly they didn't like when I said that to them in reply

Lol typical tech manager shite

Lol...

So while my candicacy is still open for the new position, my boss gave me some small temp assignments until I know if I got it. 1.5 months ago one of those tasks was literally just copying a quiz verbatim into SurveyMonkey. No analysis...just cut/paste. It was posted around that time and peer reviewed.

They are training on it *tomorrow*, and at almost 6:45 ET (long after I leave), one of the trainers frantically emails me and the guy who wrote it saying I HAVE CONCERNS CAN U URGENTLY ADDRESS?!!! IE by tomorrow.

Ignored it...but boy I hope I get this new job lol.

Clients, man. Clients. *shakes head*

^yaaH

1 male workmate to another male workmate in the kitchen: "man you've gotten a lot fatter lately, whats going on there?"
Said workmate mumbles something in what I assume is profuse embarrasement.

WTF dude. RUDE.

That is outright harassment. Fuck that

Then he kept going on about it! "yeah youre looking as big as [workmate 3] these days man"

I'm like "...is this how guys talk to each other? If I did that to a woman she'd chuck a shitfit"

That is hideous. I would hit someone for saying this to me.

Like none of my friends would ever say this to me

He wasnt even being aggressive, it was like casual like "hey nice hat man", it was so weird.

My own mother patted my stomach and said "someone's gaining weight" and it's had me doing 5k runs every day.

A peer saying that would have me running marathons

I’d be stealing their lunch from the fridge and then eat my own lunch AND theirs

ha, years ago I told a co worker I was joining the gym and she nodded seriously and said 'yes, you are putting on weight'. she is Sri Lankan though so I think there's cultural differences ... (and she was right tbh)

bro do you even lift

I'm a woman and I currently neither lift nor exercise

To whoever put the signs in the ladies room bitching about whoever's leaving a mess: Fuck you sideways with a chainsaw.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHARE EVERY THOUGHT IN YOUR HEAD

Also, this learned helplessness is not cute.

feeling personally attacked here but.. otm

Last month, she asked me to look up something that I don't even have access to while I was on the phone with a customer. Meanwhile a coworker who could do it was free.

so my buddy started working at the same place as me and i work nights - he's telling me one guy is trashing my work ethic when i'm not there. i'm a casual and do 5 jobs so i'm a bit rusty when covering a job i haven't had for months, and my arm is still healing from a recent break. Anyway he's going to the manager today cuz it's really bothering him. This is the same place i was bullied by one co-worker - anyway, wish people would get some guts and say it to my face

i'm so close to saying to him today "if you got concerns about my work, let ME KNOW"

I would. Fuck that behavior

My buddy reported him and they’re going to talk to him.
He’s got a smug look on his face atm. Hell Is working with other people. Everyone else In my life isn’t a shitbag

Working with different personalities is super unnatural

isn't it just

In non stupid news...I GOT THE NEW POSITION

Fuck yeah bud

people talking about weight at work is so weird to me and the only way to deal with it is to just shut it down imo, "yes I am having a McDonalds today because I am an adult who can make their own decisions, why are you so weirdly obsessed with my weight?"

also good news for Neanderthal but bad news for this thread!

a few people in my building have decided it's apt to comment on the portion sizes of my lunch, ostensibly in jest.

i really want to tell them to stfu, but instead i've just asked flatly why they comment on it, or just not indulged in the way they want me to, which i guess is humourously self-deprecating. like why even say "ooh that's a big portion size"? it's not as bad as weight comments but it's in the same kind of judgey area. they aren't even massive lunches, they're just enough to see me through until i eat dinner like six or seven hours later.

That sort of smalltalk generally irks me. People who are all "oooh whats for lunch today!" eyeing off whatever you've just pulled out of the microwave. Ive had people fall in step with me walking out of the office, saying "going to lunch?" no, its 12PM and I thought I'd walk into traffic.

This happens to me a bit and I have always assumed it's because I am not much of a smalltalker and people just want to get a handle on me / humanise me a bit in their eyes. But I have perfected ways of getting out of and back into my workplace while running into the fewest people possible, and then I eat in my office, so they have no chance to comment.

Would that I had my own office!

(I'd fart in it with the door shut, that oughta show any little SOBs who then walked in)

Sometimes I end up having interesting conversations about food when someone has used smalltalk in the staff kitchen, so I'm not always on edge or defensive, but it's usually annoying people I barely know, pretending they're just making smalltalk when really their comments are too familiar and unnecessary, insinuating that I'm overdoing it. In general these are meals made from scratch, fairly healthy and nutritious, but even if they weren't, why do people feel they have a pass to comment on someone's food choices, especially when they're more or less strangers? ffs just let people eat their food and shut up about it, unless you're saying something nice or striking up a conversation about food that isn't meant to be suggestively judgey. There's nothing really smalltalky about it anyway, I mean what is the point of commenting that it's a large portion other than to hint that they think you're overindulging? It's not really "just an observation", it's just more thinly veiled moralism.

I understand it as that too, MatthewK, sometimes. It's sometimes a way of getting a handle on whether you're willing to humour their inane and moralistic comments, too.

Yeah I'm just not a smalltalk fan, which I know is a tad antisocial :/

Oh I'm pretty much the same. I have to be in the right mood to tolerate it, but sometimes I really clam up and cbf at all, even though I know it's supposed to be antisocial. I think it's probably more a defence against really tedious and/or aggressively social people. Kitchens are the worst for being trapped by smalltalkers too, especially when you have to wait for something in the microwave. I know silences can be awkward but some people just can't seem to handle not commenting on every single little thing that you're doing, or having any silences at all. I guess they think people will think they're being rude if they don't talk, but I'd much rather they just shut up unless they have something interesting to say.

I ask my coworker across the aisle what he’s eating if it smells good

That to me is perfectly acceptable. In most cases. If I'm tired I don't always want to talk to other people about my food because it's too much mental effort and anxiety to figure out whether there's something else behind what they're saying e.g. some people seem to be slightly resentful that I had the time to put together that kind of meal, or that I may have made a more appetising meal than what they brought in, as if I want to show off my fancy schmancy cooking skills, and even though I know that insecurity's on them, I just can't deal with it sometimes so I'd prefer that they didn't comment. I feel as if I'm being mock humble and they can pick up on that, but what I'm making usually isn't that complicated anyway, and it's just leftovers. I'm also just hungry and it's delaying me from the main event.

It depends on the person too ime. There's usually a perceptible difference between genuine interest or curiosity or approval, and someone kind of competitive and envious about food and culinary skills.