start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

also: "i got a flu injection but i still have a cold"

uhh yes, and you're not in hospital basically dying so yes it might have worked

performative phone talkers who think that everyone around them cares abt or is enjoying their convo

look

i dont

just go somewhere else & dont forcibly loop me in on the frozen chicken lunch yr describing to your significant other

I can't stand the one-sided phone conversations I hear in other cars — obviously I can't hear the actual person who's there next to me, but the person on the other end, whose voice is barreling out of five different speakers, yes, them I can hear.

I passed a Jeep on Pike Avenue the other day, slowing down before my turn just long enough to hear a woman say, "You sound like you're in a really bad mood, Rodney." I never asked for this.

You sound like you're in a really bad mood, pplains

What are you talking about, I've never even driven a Jeep.

Every time I see someone holding their phone flat in front of their face like a tiny slice of pizza, I want to slap it out of their hand. It's a fucking phone. Hold it vertically next to your face and talk into it like a normal person. (And of course half the time, these assholes also have the person they're talking to on speakerphone. In a fucking store.)

I've never used my phone like this, I thought there was a magic reason for it. Like the same magic reason people take selfies or make videos in their cars.

There is a thread on precisely this phenomenon

C/D: holding a phone in front of your face as if it were a slice of pizza

People who wash up in the men's room like they're preparing to crack open someone's chest in the OR. Did you shit on your hand and then throw it in the toilet? This shouldn't take 15 minutes.

Better to wash too much than not enough

People who make small talk but always end up asking the exact same questions so you know they aren't even listening or paying attention when they talk.

https://local.theonion.com/guy-washing-hands-for-full-5-seconds-like-he-s-going-in-1819577500

Almost everyone should be washing their hand more thoroughly than they do.

I'm almost always wearing headphones so there is no need to press this carcinogenic piece of hot metal up against my face. It doesn't even fit against a person's head anyway. Consequently I usually hold my phone when talking like microphone, or maybe a slice of pizza, come at me.

people put their phones like that BECAUSE they are on speakerphone

grown adults who swing their arms when they walk like they’re still 7 years old. one of them punched me square in the nuts yesterday.

people put their phones like that BECAUSE they are on speakerphone

no, I don't even know how to put my phone on speakerphone, but like Hadrian, I'm wearing headphones & talking into a microphone

hadrian’s wail

I went along to a sort of religious celebration the other week because my wife has been networking with them without any intention of joining and they seem fine with that and nice friendly people anyway. The speaker saw me and went off on a riff about having seen someone riding a bike with headphones on and how it's natural to want to escape from the real world but how we need to resist the temptation and engage with the world around us. Now this person was clearly me, he had seen me doing this the week before, but I wasn't trying to escape the world, I was just trying to edit down my mp3s from 1913, but I really did not think it worth the hassle to go and talk about it with him afterwards. I know, I probably shouldn't cycle with headphones on or go to any more religious meetings.

I haven’t been able/willing to wear headphones in traffic since my neighbour’s daughter was mowed down and killed at a pedestrian crossing while wearing her Walkman.

I was just trying to edit down my mp3s from 1913

Okay, wait, what?

(phone headphones without a mic are barbarism)

I haven’t been able/willing to wear headphones in traffic since my neighbour’s daughter was mowed down and killed at a pedestrian crossing while wearing her Walkman.

Wow. I will stop, really.

I was just trying to edit down my mp3s from 1913

Okay, wait, what?

http://centuriesofsound.com

Aye, but what were you actually doing?

I download or rip everything from the year, put it in a folder on my phone, listen through twice and whittle it down

sometimes mp3's make me IA - I was a cassette boy for years and I miss the comfot of my box of fat spines all labled mix tsapes - now I have a sea of mp3 on a spreadsheet that plays music and I dont even know what I own

IM BAD

(phone headphones without a mic are barbarism)

― Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, May 9, 2018 9:32 PM

Andrew photographed on the way to work, yesterday

https://www.headphonesencyclopedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Headphones-with-Mic-768x768.jpg

You would too if you could pull it off.

Whoever posted upthread about the increasing uselessness of Google search is mfotm. I'm noticing lately that if I do a search for six words, I'll see results on the first page which have excluded five of the six words I searched for. I can do internet randomizer all by myself, Google.

This has been enraging me for a good couple of years. At least now they helpfully strike through the search terms not included in the result so you can see upfront exactly how useless it is. Most of my last google searches have "quote" "marks" "around" "every "word or phrase" in a vain effort to search for what I actually want to search for - it still decides I want something else.

Verbatim mode is what you're both looking for. You can get 'default to verbatim' plugins for firefox and chrome. I find I want to use it 80% of the time, sometimes I want to include alternative spelling and some words missing, but usually I don't.

hooray for the wonderful march of progress that has led us to a search engine that you have to hack to search for what you want

while it quietly pockets all your personal data

What I really want is Verbatim mode + obvious synonyms and alternative spellings + a suggestion if I've misspelled anything.

My real problem now is with google image search, which I now need to hack to even download an image, surely the whole point of it. Video search has never really worked.

weirdly, bing's video search is pretty good

oh god GIS has been ruined for life but i'm confused how come in an era where bandwidth feels more abundant than ever before why more and more douchebuckets seem intent on preventing their pics from being lovingly sampled/detourned

i'm not trying to rip-off your creative endeavour people i just want to post a sarky jpeg on a Turrican thread

hooray for the wonderful march of progress that has led us to a search engine that you have to hack to search for what you want

― hepatitis groan (Noodle Vague), Thursday, May 10, 2018 11:21 AM (twenty minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This is so so otm. I had such a thorough course on using google (really) in the late nineties at uni, and I could find anything I want, exclude stuff etc. Then google introduced their algorithm shit and nothing mattered any more.

i'm not trying to rip-off your creative endeavour people i just want to post a sarky jpeg on a Turrican thread

― hepatitis groan (Noodle Vague), Thursday, May 10, 2018 11:38 AM (three minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This is also so so otm. ;)

^ yes this is making me crazy too

Officially going back to AltaVista, guys.

(Officially just learned that AltaVista died an ignoble death several years back. Fuck, what now.)

https://askjeeves.net/

http://www.dogpile.com/

don't try asking jeeves what the best search engine is people, it's not helpful

(Officially just learned that AltaVista died an ignoble death several years back. Fuck, what now.)

a little bit of my adolescence just died :(

earlier today btw i watched my boss type 'google' into the search bar of his homepage, which is aol.com, in order to get to google to find something

this has happened several times and i think it's probably taken about three months off my lifespan

i think that's rational anger tho tbf

just googled aol.com cos i couldn't believe it still existed

This shit right here:

https://i.imgur.com/c7HEp4f.png

nailed it

I have to log out and clear my cookies sometimes just so Google will give me all the non-local versions of whatever asset I'm searching for.

(would a private tab be easier?)

mind did used to boggle when google.com would always appear near the top of the published searches, but these days there's a combined url / search bar so who's to know? in fact, if you try and type into the google search textbox on the chrome homepage the text ends up in the 'url' bar.