Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

I have been fighting literally for years with the head of another department who attributes all of her staff's fuck-ups to user error. This despite the fact that my work is hindered these fuck-ups multiple times every single day and they are less 'whoops, my finger slipped while I was typing' and more 'I fundamentally fail to understand my responsibilities, even when my responsibilities are explicitly detailed to me by a third party'. As always, I primarily blame the 'parents' (including my own, whose general spinelessness precludes them from ever having my back in these situations).

(I'm realizing that my growing apoplexy wrt this job is the cumulative result of minor-but-chronic irritations being completely unaddressed over long stretches of time. It's like letting a minor cut fester until your arm is completely gangrenous.)

I could seriously spend my entire workday posting ITT about the stupidity I encounter over the course of my workday. In many cases, it exceeds the bounds of basic stupidity or laziness and I begin to get concerned that there's some real impairment going on. Mini strokes, gas leaks, unattended grievous head injuries. I've got EMS on my speed dial just in case.

The most recent chronic issue which makes me go full-bore Scanners on a daily basis is on the order of:

Me: 'Hey, we're out of ____. Could you please make sure we get more ____?'
Idiot: (doesn't get out of seat to actually check on the status of ____) 'Looks like we're all good on ____!' (resumes huffing of gasoline)
Me: (dislodges cyanide capsule, bites down hard)

Like I received a response at the end of the day yesterday and came in to two more this morning that were exactly this. People far above my pay grade responding to specific requests to do a thing without which I'm unable to do my job, telling me that the thing is done only for me to find that not only is the thing not done but that the party in question never bothered to even check whether or not it was done. I just...what...I...motherfucking...you goddamn...just...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

This job is genuinely going to kill me.

I'm two weeks into this co-worker (and we're on the other side of the world so are together outside work most days too) and I can't even (as the young people say).

Once this is all over I might give the edited highlights.

Ugh that sounds dire, do you have to share a hotel room or anything horrid?

Not as bad as that but it'll all become clear when I spill the beans.

I'll summarise the worst of it by saying two weeks in he is still fighting the time zone.

who's winning?

The time zone, hands down. He seems to think he can battle for another 6 weeks.

Could the management here be any more useless?</chandlerbing>

Love love love it when a succession of managers play hot potato with a complex request which requires the guidance of management until the thing finally lands in my lap and I have to bring my own job to a screeching halt so I can spend an hour composing an email detailing to people well above my paygrade what their positions require of them. Looooooooove it. Toooooootally not raking deep and freely-bleeding furrows down my face with my fingernails rn.

garbageperson who gives give me a RED FLAG! high priority!! urgent!! task at 5 min before 5pm deadline aaaaaand then fucks off home immediately.

yep cool no worries it’ll all be there in the morning for you to answer the questions you should have stuck around to answer, asshole

new job is officially christened lol

Ring them at 10PM saying CANT FINISH THIS OMG YOU MISSED SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO FIX IT

One man's rush is another man's I'll get around to it.

congrats on the new job, I guess, vg!

thx!

i actually do kinda like it

but for real this place needs serious codification of the definition of the word URGENT and levels of (preferably physical) punishment for its overuse.

Me: Yeah here is how *thing* is done, pls follow this format when saving the file
Person: yeah I'm just gonna go ahead and do that in another format cos I dont like this one
Me: Gnnnnnnrrrrrghhhh

I love my new job but it makes me sad that I have no new entries for this thread lol

be the stupid annoying co-worker you want to see in the world

I live for the day I have nothing to contribute to this thread. The thought alone is making me a little misty-eyed rn.

Why is everyone’s job getting worse and more grim rn (mine as well)

money is getting tighter

My complaints at work can be boiled down to a single issue: people not doing (or not sufficiently doing) the thing they're paid to do (which very pointedly includes managers who fail to manage this issue). It does seem to be escalating. I guess breezing through life while being terrible at everything is just the zeitgeist rn. I just take comfort in knowing that when I finally wise up and split, my workplace will be hella fucked.

(Like neither of my immediate superiors really know how I do what I do, nor have they shown any interest in doing so. They just know it gets done. That seems like it might be an untenable situation for them in the long run, but what do I know.)

I think it's quite possible that there are just relatively few people who know how to excel at an office job versus the many more who are capable of convincingly treading water.

well every day i look forward to this one individual who throws out callous words at me, like "you're in for orientation? if you were at another hospital, you would be fired or transferred in a week". i'm casual and have 5 jobs, some which i've done for like 2 days total. i've complained but the manager/her are tight, but she said that two days in a row to me, and i dread going into work cuz absolutely nothing gets done about this - they say she's just "blunt" - she's not even my supervisor, plus she was fired from her last job, so maybe she should get the picture.

i work a monkey job i'm overqualified for, can't stand being talked down to

That is the worst! What a dick. I haven't worked in a rude workplace for such a long time, I don't think I could take it anymore.

Is there an HR team you can chat to on the sly?

yeah, in theory it could be reported to an anonymous line/union - other co-workers have had problems with her, but it seems like no action has really been taken. she's nice outside of work but just challenging at work, so it's kinda frustrating. she seems to enjoy being made fun of back, but that's really tiring. i've been off/on work due to injuries for the last couple months so i'm a little more scared to speak up to anyone, but i guess i'm protected by unions anyway,

probably find a new job soon tbh, 11 years in IT to ---this---

IME all kinds of personality disorders are given relatively free reign in the workplace because it's easier to gingerly tiptoe around the volcano than to address the annihilating blasts of lava head-on.

(Plus, I have heard direct from the horse's mouth more than a few times concerns that an unstable employee, once disciplined or terminated, might prove to be dangerously so.)

I don't think it's the team's problem to deal with, though - it's the manager's. And a lot of managers can be spineless or disinterested or assholes themselves.

Also lots of eccentricities can be solved without disciplining or firing people. It just requires a light touch. Which a lot of people don't have.

My manager is great but the most recent update is they’re navigating the problem by letting me not work her desk or be trained by her. Today was a shit show of being corrected every 5 seconds or asked what I’m doing. I’m no dunce man. Plus she trains in a confusing manner and then reams
Me out. Seen her googling anxiety websites. At least I can go to work and keep my depression at bay and do my job without being a turd. Old lunch otm as usual

it's my absolute hate when people say "oh so-and-so is just like that" - no, they are like it because their manager has allowed it to pass and enabled it by letting it continue. I'm a big fan of people having quirks and interesting personalities because it makes the day more interesting but if someone is rude, aggressive and ignorant then they're not doing their job to the best ability any less than someone who lacks technical skills. A manager who isn't prepared to deal with awkward conversations and difficult people is choosing to let that sabotage their team.

Absolutely otm

I’ve reported it. I can’t even go to work today cuz I need to focus on a new desk in isolation without
Being told to sit down!!! Actual quote.

Management has stated there’s been a long term problem
with a toxic culture but as long as they never spend time in the room, they never witness it. Anywhere else these individuals would be duly fired.

IME all kinds of personality disorders are given relatively free reign in the workplace because it's easier to gingerly tiptoe around the volcano than to address the annihilating blasts of lava head-on.

― Gladys McFlatus (Old Lunch), Thursday, June 14, 2018 3:23 PM (yesterday)

Please don't conflate personality disorders with being an asshole, thx.

Yesterday I received an email from a manager that was basically a one-sentence 'are you falling behind in your work?' with no context or specifics or any mention of what might have led her to ask that question (nb, I was not, and was in fact helping several people with issues outside of the purview of my job on top of keeping up with my work, thanks).

A few minutes ago, another manager sent an email (from home) to the entire department that began 'Step it up people!'.

It would be cool if I could every so often luck into a Gallant for the dozens of managerial Goofuses I've been saddled with over the course of my working life.

keep them coming, I'm beginning to feel like I might actually be a good manager

yesterday a coworker/superior used the phrase 'quite frankly' dozens of times -- easily -- during a half-hour phone call

now i find myself listening and waiting for it, which is annoying

I had a coworker/superior whose catchphrase, every few sentences, was "if I'm being honest."

I strangled him with a USB cable and dropped his corpse down the elevator shaft, where it was never found.

Lol

you were right to do it

a jury would never convict you

only fair criticisms if we are open and honest about our own verbal foibles tbh

Ex.: I use the phrase 'verbal foibles' way too much. But it just feels fun to say it, is all.

I hate it when you make a one-off stupid mistake & someone is like

“Was there a change in policy that I don’t know about? Let me know if the SOP been revised & I need to change my request format?” ...blah blah blah

NO! I JUST FUCKED UP, OKAY? Jesus.

oh sorry i am that other person

idk if i've ever gone that far in assuming literally everything i thought i knew was incorrect and bad though

"Was there a change in policy? I'm so sorry if I submitted this incorrectly" = I know you fucked up and I want to rub your nose in it until you weep because I hate you, nothing personal it's the job that turns us all into monsters

otm, it's pure pass agg, I like my manager, but he sometimes goes down this path and it's not cool

Hey, ol' TB Sheets across the way is at it again, choking up what sounds like hunks of lung every few minutes. Pretty sure he very nearly barfed on himself a little while ago. And, oh hey, is that the beginning of a scratchy throat I'm feeling? Could it be that after numerous failed attempts over the last several months of carefully nurturing a series of recurring illness he's finally managed to share his gift of with me? Fuck yeh, bro, can't wait.