Surely only on VHS
― nashwan, Thursday, 28 June 2018 11:43 (six years ago) link
Forget it Jake, it's... probably a shitty waste of time.
― Robert Adam Gilmour, Friday, 29 June 2018 17:29 (six years ago) link
Its not that bad. But by the end I was kind of "...whats all that about, then?" cos what was the motivation for the whole fucking thing?
And why are kids from the year 2525 into the 80s wtf.
Dece CGI tho I guess.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Sunday, 1 July 2018 11:04 (six years ago) link
god this fuckin sucked sweaty rancid hole
― BIG RICHARD ENERGY (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, 21 July 2018 21:34 (six years ago) link
It is important to watch dumb stuff with the full understanding going in that it will be dumb, and that it is perhaps in fact designed to be almost as dumb as possible. That is the case with this trifle.
I watched this on an airplane, while dipping into Hamel & Prahalad's "Strategic Intent" during the slow bits, and I didn't hate it.
1. Mark Rylance is clearly having a blast. I know very little about the man but I assume getting paid for this was something he enjoyed tremendously.
2. Simon Pegg is also having fun but not as much as Rylance was. I think. I imagine both of them getting well drunk after every read-through and every day of shooting, sitting back, reading the rest of the other characters' lines to each other and playing a game where every time you crack up, you have to finish your drink and buy the next round.
3. For at least the first act, it almost seems like they're going to Verhoeven this thing, and they almost do anyway, because there's hardly another option given the material and the casting (possibly of note: European directors are totally left out of the nerd canon according to this).
4. Every time they went for music that wasn't straight out of the lamest possible 80s mixtape ever made, it made the movie actually worse. The whole thing should have been wall-to-wall with a diegetic Grand Theft Auto: Vice City style soundtrack, with the exception being The Shining sequence.
5. I actually enjoyed all the villains. Disappointed we didn't find out who I-R0K was IRL.
6. I suspect Spielberg's real reason for leaving his movies out of this is because he has too much self-regard to dissect and trivialize his own work for the sake of this utter nonsense. Says a lot about how much he actually thinks of his colleagues, especially Kubrick, if you agree with this take.
7. That all said, watching Iron Giant and the RX-78 Gundam try and beat up Mecha-Godzilla was more fun than anything in Pacific Rim 2.
― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 1 August 2018 04:14 (six years ago) link
I thought this was an exceptionally well made lame movie, which I guess is what you get when you have a 70 year old sci-fi/action master make a movie for 12 year olds that was written by a 30 something riffing on, among other things, the impact of said 70 year old when he was 12. Which is to say, it's kind of a toothless movie that would have had a ton of potential had they indeed Verhoevened this thing, but was fine as the kids flick they went with instead.
Speaking of kids flicks, my kids' reactions? 13 year old said "that was OK" and 11 year old said "meh." But they both sat through it, so ...
My reaction: instead of playing Twisted Sister they should have blasted the "2112" overture.
My other reaction: wall to wall obvious '80s tracks *except* for a Springsteen b-side deep cut? What was up with that?
― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 14 August 2018 18:40 (six years ago) link
Spielberg actually cites The Shining as one of his favorite films, seen ~25 times; this after initially disliking it as much as I do.
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 14 August 2018 18:43 (six years ago) link
Yeah, I'm not a big fan of The Shining, and never thought that it was scary, so found it kind of lame it played such a central role in this. Would have been funny if the whole sequence was built around Barry Lyndon instead.
Oh, and the nerdsplaining in this was insufferable.
― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 14 August 2018 18:47 (six years ago) link
Never going to see this and I'd probably hate it if I did, but I laughed when a woman in my office recently remarked that she'd taken her kids to RPO and liked it more than they did.
― Françoise, Laurel, and Hardy (K. Rrosé), Tuesday, 14 August 2018 19:43 (six years ago) link
I just saw this on the plane. I really liked it! (maybe it's only a fun plane movie, I had no clue what it was going to be about).
― Yerac, Tuesday, 14 August 2018 22:57 (six years ago) link
Simon Pegg is an alcoholic in recovery
― ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 14 August 2018 23:00 (six years ago) link
I feel like the cover art to the forthcoming Muse album belongs in this thread for some reason:
https://scontent.fewr1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40337321_10156189557348725_3422970565613322240_o.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=b314241f00ca2f489cc3ebc73dbf4f26&oe=5C354B12
― grawlix (unperson), Thursday, 30 August 2018 14:40 (six years ago) link
what better time to jump on the vaporwave bandwagon than *checks calendar* november 2018
― my dream is to never be a champion (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 30 August 2018 14:45 (six years ago) link
~synthwave~ to be more precise, but yeah this is waaaay past sell-by date
― circa1916, Thursday, 30 August 2018 14:46 (six years ago) link
don't think Muse have ever been self-aware enough to do vaporwave
― Noodle Vague, Thursday, 30 August 2018 14:47 (six years ago) link
"It's retro." "More than you know."
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 30 August 2018 14:52 (six years ago) link
https://proxy.duckduckgo.com/iur/?f=1&image_host=http%3A%2F%2Fmegagames.com%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2Fgame-images%2FFC3BloodDragon.jpg&u=https://megagames.com/sites/default/files/game-images/FC3BloodDragon.jpg
― my dream is to never be a champion (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 30 August 2018 14:56 (six years ago) link
the amazing thing is how much this stuff was already nailed down, and more precisely/funnily, years and years ago. pretty sure homestarrunner had some bit with these fonts and the laser background and all that, sometime between 2002 and 2004. but doing it any point after, say, stranger things is just blatant bandwagon-jumping.
― got the scuba tube blowin' like a snork (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 30 August 2018 15:16 (six years ago) link
This was every bit the hot mess I expected.
― Police, Academy (cryptosicko), Sunday, 9 September 2018 19:53 (five years ago) link
well at least now I know why Pegg wasn’t having as much fun as Rylance
― Paleo Weltschmerz (El Tomboto), Sunday, 9 September 2018 20:08 (five years ago) link
I didn't recognize him and I didn't even know he was in the film til just now. I kinda thought it was Greg Kinnear in the earlier scenes.
― Police, Academy (cryptosicko), Sunday, 9 September 2018 20:12 (five years ago) link
Greg Kinnear would have made it actually saddo
― Paleo Weltschmerz (El Tomboto), Sunday, 9 September 2018 21:29 (five years ago) link
Skimming though the thread, Morbs already nailed what it was that I hated most about this movie (and there was a lot to hate): the whole VR premise equals a lack of stakes. Who gives a shit about whether the nerd kid or the corporate asshole gets control of the imaginary world?
― Police, Academy (cryptosicko), Sunday, 9 September 2018 21:41 (five years ago) link
Also, I can't believe anyone involved with this movie didn't have second thoughts about the whole "gunt" thing.
― Police, Academy (cryptosicko), Sunday, 9 September 2018 21:47 (five years ago) link
This is one of the worst things I've ever seen.
― Greta Van Show Feets BB (milo z), Thursday, 7 March 2019 06:46 (five years ago) link
WHO TOLD YOU TO WATCH THIS??
― Larry Elleison (rogermexico.), Thursday, 7 March 2019 06:50 (five years ago) link
tbf that sounds true to the source material, which is the worst book you’ll ever read
― Larry Elleison (rogermexico.), Thursday, 7 March 2019 06:51 (five years ago) link
Morbid curiosity while scrolling through the shitpile of HBO Go.
I should have rewatched Man on Fire.
― Greta Van Show Feets BB (milo z), Thursday, 7 March 2019 06:59 (five years ago) link
lmao i almost watched Man on Fire bc it’s free on HBO. I backed away bc it’s really well executed but such a gutpunch...
― Larry Elleison (rogermexico.), Thursday, 7 March 2019 07:13 (five years ago) link
This is one of the worst things I've ever seen.― Greta Van Show Feets BB (milo z), Thursday, March 7, 2019 1:46 AM (nine hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― Greta Van Show Feets BB (milo z), Thursday, March 7, 2019 1:46 AM (nine hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
This was like Snow Crash except crowdsourced by the incel wing of a reddit for LARPers.
― Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Thursday, 7 March 2019 16:00 (five years ago) link
Oh no, the book AFTER it is the worst book you'll ever read. Which, I don't know why I did, but I did.
― Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Thursday, 7 March 2019 16:10 (five years ago) link
― ebro the letter (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 7 March 2019 16:13 (five years ago) link
the main characters are hunting for easter eggs hidden in their shitty virtual world
easter egg hunters > 'gunters'
it's not good
― invited to an unexpected ninja presentation (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 7 March 2019 16:16 (five years ago) link
Um.
Uh.
― Gary Ornmigh, Heywood's son (Old Lunch), Thursday, 7 March 2019 16:20 (five years ago) link
trust me, milo, there are many thousands of worse films.
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 7 March 2019 16:24 (five years ago) link
How hard would you defend a film with a two-hour static close-up of someone making their anus talk if the credits read 'directed by Steven Spielberg'?
― Gary Ornmigh, Heywood's son (Old Lunch), Thursday, 7 March 2019 16:26 (five years ago) link
i dunno, who wrote the script
― invited to an unexpected ninja presentation (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 7 March 2019 16:28 (five years ago) link
Tony Tushner
― zama roma ding dong (Eric H.), Thursday, 7 March 2019 16:29 (five years ago) link
lensed, of course, by janusz kaminski
― invited to an unexpected ninja presentation (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 7 March 2019 16:35 (five years ago) link
this strawmanning is beneath you
(well shit, of course it's not)
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 7 March 2019 16:38 (five years ago) link
It was a question not an assertion.
But come on my dude. You'll happily drop an unwarranted stinkbomb in a Marvel movie thread but do the most circuitous of cakewalks to avoid criticizing a Steelburb flick which I'm sure most would agree is worse than the worst of all Marvel movies. It's a bit rich.
― Gary Ornmigh, Heywood's son (Old Lunch), Thursday, 7 March 2019 16:48 (five years ago) link
"most" can go fuck themselves, as usual
I believe my view of RP1 is somewhere above; I didn't care for it.
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 7 March 2019 16:52 (five years ago) link
idly paging through the imdb trivia for this (which i do not recommend btw since it's almost entirely pointing out the nerd references which clog every frame) and apparently this was the first spielberg film since hook to get 70mm prints struck, which seems an extremely weird choice for a movie which has so little conventional photography in it
― invited to an unexpected ninja presentation (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 7 March 2019 16:52 (five years ago) link
but you're right, a two-hour static close-up is DEFINITELY Spielbergian aesthetics reduced to its core
xp
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 7 March 2019 16:55 (five years ago) link
I find it so weird this movie has such hate. It was fine.
― Yerac, Thursday, 7 March 2019 17:01 (five years ago) link
xpost Okay then, a swooping John Williams-scored panorama of the talking anus with cgi monkeys occasionally crawling out of it and gazing with awe into the middle distance, are you happy?
― Gary Ornmigh, Heywood's son (Old Lunch), Thursday, 7 March 2019 17:03 (five years ago) link
Not just any monkey, but the monkey from Raiders of the Lost Ark, who gives the sig heil then does the moonwalk.
― Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Thursday, 7 March 2019 17:09 (five years ago) link
What ILX hates about this, in descending order:
Steven Spielberg stansSteven Spielberg himselfErnest Clineprobably a few other thingsReady Player One, the movie
― zama roma ding dong (Eric H.), Thursday, 7 March 2019 17:20 (five years ago) link
Now that's how you strawman!
― Gary Ornmigh, Heywood's son (Old Lunch), Thursday, 7 March 2019 17:22 (five years ago) link
Granted, I knew nothing about the movie and watched it on a plane. So it didn't offend my honor in some way. It was fun.
― Yerac, Thursday, 7 March 2019 17:27 (five years ago) link