Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

Teamleader: please process this ticket asap@!@
Me: hey this is asking us to completely terminate all this customer's services for non payment. Aren't we supposed to warn them and suspend them first?
TL: ...it says terminate in this ticket
Me: I know, but if we do that, we cannot easily UNdo it. You sure?
TL: Just do it ok its urgent

**2 hours later wibbly wobbly effect**
Customer: OMG WTF HAVE U DONE WHY ARE ALL OUR PHONE LINES DOWN
**1 hour later again wibbly wobbly effect**
Sales: OMG U IDIOTS TURN THESE ALL BACK ON NOW WHY DID YOU TERMINATE THEM
Me: BECAUSE YOU TOLD US TO YOU &^^%$%^$
Sales: THEY MUST COME BACK ON NAO
Me: IT ISNT THAT EASY THATS WHY I ASKED ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS

24 hours later theyre still bitching at us.

BTW customer: maybe try paying your fucking $20k overdue bill too, then this shit wont happen.

It's a beautiful gift to render something that fucking annoying in such hilarious prose Trayce

Haha thank yew :) I mean you have to laugh, or etc.

Apparently a coworker has left a brassiere on the bookshelf in my office. I don't know what to do about this at all.

― how's life, Friday, November 18, 2016 7:51 AM (one year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

She left the company last week and in preparing her workspace for our newest colleague, we discovered several in her desk.

please follow her to her new place of employment and get a job there, to provide updates

4 years after we adopted Lync/Skype, still having to explain to vets that you aren't supposed to dial into the same Skype meeting by phone AND Skype Call.

"Why is it echoing?"

-_-

I love my new job a lot but I miss this thread and I have a fun one today
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We have training going on in a remote, partner location (meaning my company doesn't own the building - it's a typical co-employment scenario). So all equipment is furnished by them, the software used by us.

Training rooms are at a premium in this location, so most training is done on the call center floor, so it's a weird hybrid of virtual/live where all learners are dialed into the conference number/virtual client, so that the facilitator doesn't have to scream, to shut out floor noise, and ensure everybody can hear.

So today training begins for 22 people and..there are no headsets for any of them, despite the person in charge confirming there would be.

TWo hours later, we have 5 headsets, and nobody confirming with me what is going on.

You're a call center. How the hell do you not have headsets?

less about coworkers and more the air quality here - anyone experience working in a dusty, sniffle-inducing environment. is that something that can be addressed via HR

most people have asthma here

so my day job is in publishing. if you are familiar at all with groverhaus then this week I am working on something that can only be described as a groverbook, content from like 10 other books grovered together and formatted in 20 different ways, and my job is to standardize all of this as much as possible.

it's also a pretty big book, so it was split in half with a coworker. who turned out to be making the exact opposite formatting changes I did

'Hi, so since I have my own job which is a different job than the job that you hold, I naturally don't understand the intricacies of your job, but I decided that I should demonstrate my ignorance by, for no particular reason, attempting and wildly failing to do your job for you. Could you please let me know if my unsolicited dipshittery in any way interferes with you doing your job? And if it's not too much trouble, can you also spend half of your day explaining to me all of the aspects of this task that I find confusing but which I never would have even had to think about in the first place if I'd just let you do your job instead of having a traumatic brain event on company time?'

I retract my last post, the book (well, series) I am working on today is a) even more grover-assed, b) I'm supposed to be checking that the changes requested were made, and they are largely not made, and c) a large part of the book is about counting, and those changes requested included typo fixes, so there is a sense of looming dread

german word for "the state of realizing, slowly, that the possibility is not zero that somewhere in this book for children is the word 'cunt'"

From a HR email re some surveys:
- Sharing customer verbatims across the organisation

Customer... verbatims THAT WORD IS NOT USED THAT WAY.

CUSTOMER COMMENTS. SAY COMMENTS. (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Lol my company calls them that too

someone bragging about his air b and b profits - do we have a thread on air b and b?

this isn't necessarily her fault, but the coworker who sits directly opposite me over the partition sounds exactly like sarah huckabee sanders, and it is constantly distracting

uncovered a conspiracy you have

One of my facilitators here sounds like Bob Zmuda

He isn't stupid or annoying but a guy a couple of desks away in one of the offices I'm working in at the moment sounds just like Ralph Ineson (and looks not unlike him either).

I'm now in a weird position where I kind of want so done to slag him off a bit just so I can say "He's thrown a kettle over a pub, what have you done?"

Today one of my stateside trainers sent an official email to one of the PHI supervisors and spelled it "Phillipians" in the email

I feel like "I know it's *not ideal*" has because the new "it is what it is" in officespeak. because it's the same bullshit our idiot executives trot out anytime they ratfuck us

it's this stupid fucking accountability vacuum that insinuates nobody's at fault, this is just how the stars aligned, mannnnnnnnnnnnn.

like for instance, when these idiot execs decide we need to hire a shit-ton of new hires smack in the middle of our busiest season without bothering to forecast whether we had resources who were available to train the individuals. Or booked a training room that had 5 desks too few when other larger capacity rooms were available. or sent two more people than you told us you would the night before when we told you we didn't have room for any extra people. or didn't give us a roster until class had already started when we had asked repeatedly for one and YOU FUCKING HAD IT AVAILABLE.

like, "it's not ideal" is something you say when, like, a hurricane closes your building for a week, so you have to merge two training classes together the next week. not like, shit you fuck up and then pretend it was just unavoidable because "it's always like this" and refuse to do anything about it to make it better in the future.

next person says that to me is getting pissed on!

i just would like to ban everyone from asking me questions while witholding that they know at least some of the answer

fuckin tired of being shamed by “oh really? i thought it was x” or some variation thereof that makes me feel like my time was completely wasted

I HAVE BARELY BEEN IN THIS DUMB JOB FOR 6 MONTHS give me a fkn break

It's the antithesis of this thread but the Finchy-a-like I mentioned a couple of posts up was being held up by someone else who was due in a meeting but kept getting distracted and delayed.

Not Finchy geed him up by saying "Come on Rick, I'm not a prize."

someone keeps turning it to Fox News in the pantry. It's NYC, in a corporate office. Someone is asking for it.

Find the remote, child lock Fox.

Have been trying to do this on the DL, this morning. It is difficult to find the right menu!

think the honeymoon w/ my new job is ending. it's still way better than what I was doing, but it's the same stupid company so y'know...

so they wanted us to make a detailed list of our desired PTO for the remainder of the year by last week. I have 12 days accumulated because due to my years of service, I accrue about 2 days a month, and our boss originally told us between 7/1 - 9/30, we needed special permission to take more than two days off in a row due to a project we were on. Or, I was teaching back to back 5-day training classes. So suffice it to say, I couldn't really put a dent in it as taking 2 days a month makes me break even. And the days do not roll over.

Well, I look out on our team calendar, and they've basically already scheduled me to train 65% of the rest of the year, so I basically threw my PTO around all of the holidays, but they apparently won't tell us what's approved until like...next week.

However, my boss didn't seem to mind volunteering me for a class in two weeks that requires me to drive into the office. I'm Virtual, so this is generally supposed to be cleared with me in advance - and it just so happens to be the days we booked a hotel to celebrate my mother's 65th birthday. I had originally planned to work from the hotel since these were designated non-training days, so I could spend time with her.

I worked out a compromise with the other trainer so I can lead it from the hotel, but she sounded actually surprised that I was mad about this. Saying she didn't contact me cos it was my day off last Friday and she didn't wanna disturb me.

Well, I woulda preferred getting a call on my day off so I could tell you "no, I'm not ok with that on the 15th and 16th", then coming back and seeing you made the fucking decision for me.

Goooood.

like it's kind of annoying how we have to plan 3 months in advance for our PTO, but they get to change our assignments with next to no notice or consultation

oh boy - so even though nothing other than one virtual training class is scheduled between 12/3 - 12/23, I decided to be proactive and tell them I can't travel between 12/3 - 12/23, because I am doing a theatrical production, among other obligations (ie concert tickets) and it sounds like things are starting to get ridiculous.

she tells me she'll 'do her best to accommodate, but the calendar might change'.

so...how the hell am I supposed to have a life outside of work if I can't plan things two months out because you're going to arbitrarily tell me that might not work?

I am not ok with this and told my boss so.

humorously, one of our values is "People Matter". I guess just not "all" people.

Neanderthal, that's the worst. When I was an assistant store manager, my immediate supervisor (the store manager) was horrible about creating schedules and doing one of two things: 1) Granting people their requested days off before the schedule was posted and then, upon writing the schedule where those days fell, scheduling the employee anyway and / 2) Just pretending they never got the day off requests to begin with. Sometimes, they wouldn't post the next week's schedule until the day before the new week started. The company has a policy that all days off must be requested at least three weeks in advance. The problems that resulted from this should be pretty apparent. It was extremely shitty. I was in management, so I had to be there all the damn time anyway, so it didn't bother me. I had a way better rapport with the staff than the store manager, so inevitably they all started to come to me with their discrepancies. I told them all that there wasn't really anything I could do with my authority, so I told everyone to just go to HR and tell them that the schedule isn't being posted within the legal timeframe of fourteen days. I don't know how many people actually did that, but about a week later, the district manager was in the store asking me if I had ever been allowed to write the schedule (of course, I hadn't). It eventually got cleared up, but there was a time for about three or four months when it was just completely fucked up. The schedule would be posted, but there would have been so many mistakes made when it was written that it was a running joke for a while that the schedule was simply a list of people who worked for us and nothing else.

Also, Veg:

i just would like to ban everyone from asking me questions while witholding that they know at least some of the answer

I would like to propose that this is the action of a malicious person who has bad intentions. No exceptions. For someone like me that struggles with a lot of anxiety and paranoia anyway, this is just gross manipulation and I would interpret it as a sign that the questioner has an active vendetta against me, whether founded in substance or not.

I despised that too. over time I started to get good at reading when people were doing this and deliberately sabotage them, i.e. "my understanding is this is the answer, however I suspect you've spent more time on this than me, so if you believe that's incorrect, please let me know and show me wehre it says taht".

I will admit to occasionally doing this when I think a coworker or my kid is lying to me.

what kind of person registers on the company-wide message board (potentially hundreds if not thousands of people) using only his (common) first name? good-luck jonathan.

(that said, i used my slightly cryptic company-assigned userid - surname, first initial, 2 digits, so i'm probably as bad, for the opposite reason.)

Email exchange:

Me: <asks question>

2 days later, response:

Idiot: How are you progressing? Any questions, let me know

Me: Yes, the same question I asked before you fucking moron

Haha I am frequently Idiot.

what kind of person registers on the company-wide message board (potentially hundreds if not thousands of people) using only his (common) first name? good-luck jonathan.

one of my co-workers is an Upstate Limo Crash Truther

Do I want to know? (I do)

i put my headphones on, so i didn't actually hear the theory

I read in the local paper that the limo company driver was an FBI informant for the Newburgh 4 case so I'm assuming the conspiracy theory has something to do with that.

"I'll tell you what's the funniest thing ever, right? EVER. There's never been ANYTHING funnier."

me: don't say del boy falling through the bar don't say del boy falling through the bar don't say del boy falling through the bar don't say del boy falling through the bar

"Del Boy falling through the bar. It's only just ahead of”

me: don't say chandelier don't say chandelier don't say chandelier don't say chandelier

"that one where they're emptying the house and he knocks the chandelier out of the ceiling BUT IT'S THE WRONG ONE!"

I would only be thinking of Stewart Lee in such an exchange.

https://vimeo.com/141220204

The solution to every problem in this thread: Get your boss to buy you a fancy pair of Panasonic horse blinders!

https://static.dezeen.com/uploads/2018/10/panasonic-blinkers-technology-design_dezeen_2364_hero-1.jpg

https://proxy.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn.pastemagazine.com%2Fwww%2Fsystem%2Fimages%2Fphoto_albums%2Fstar-wars-infinity%2Flarge%2Flobot-sw.jpg%3F1384968217&f=1

Friday's one was like a stand-up routine and it's taken until now for me not to be mad about it.

One chap lecturing another about how Hitler was just a misunderstood chap, and did so in the form of a number of 'and I was the teacher's statements that were e.g. "and who had a policy of reducing the price of food for working families? Hitler. You wouldn't have guessed that, eh?" although he let down his perceived logic by ending with "and of course he hated Eastern Europeans and Jews".

The reason you don't know all his good points is because Thatcher covered it all up so you wouldn't find out he was a good guy.

The Valleys are fkn weird (in addition to being massively racist - the second week I was here there was a discussion about the Solihull murders as the guy was being sentenced and one of the women in the office said it was "kind of sad, but it's not as if they were real people, is it.").

This isn't even the racist part of Wales, you have to go to Oswestry and all points north for the places the people here would describe as racist.

Ive never understood this Del Boy falling thru bar thing. ILX was the first place I'd even heard the phrase so I googled it, found the scene in question on youtube and was utterly baffled. Had to be there I guess?

I assumed it was a poll result winner for funniest scene in funniest show ever or something to that effect. It triggered Stewart lee doing an extended sketch illustrating it as something going into popular culture on a ceremonial level. Showed it as an Up Helly Ah like event that would be celebrated for centuries, become a tradition in itself. Which may be why it's in the list consciousness more than it would be otherwise.
It was kind of funny in its original context cos it showed a pretentious idiot having a momentary comeuppance. Thought it was one element among many that would probably be mostly forgotten if teh show it was from hadn't got further circulation through vhs sales and endless repeats.
Much like the chandelier thing being the funniest thing ever. Was quite ribtickling at the time but should fade into the public memory if that and not always be thrown up as the pinnacle.