Artificial intelligence still has some way to go

A rabbi and a penguin walk into a bar. The penguin wanted a cigarette and the rabbi offered one. "Now, if you keep your mouth shut, you'll get something," said the rabbi. The penguin nodded.
"You'll get nothing, right here," said the rabbi. "I'll take the cigarette and you'll get nothing." The rabbi walked away.
"I feel like they're fighting over something," added one other customer. "My mother died four years ago."
The Jews, who never smoked in public, were very excited to see the penguin, and the rabbis did not seem to think too clearly about the effect it might have on others.
The rabbi was given a bottle of beer. The penguin had nothing to drink on his own.
The Rabbi spoke for the Rabbinical Council by saying: "Now, if you keep your mouth shut, you'll get something. I swear he ain't come from another planet, he's not from another planet."
"They got my beer!" yelled a bartender across the table.
The rabbi looked at the penguin.

I kinda like this one.

A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is something wrong here?"

The man asks: Why?

"We're a non-religious congregation."

The priest replies: "So how about we say a mass as Christians did a century ago?"

And so the barman begins to pray.

A rabbi and a penguin walk into a bar. The penguin says, "Hello rabbi."
Rabbi with a giant pixie cut.
Rabbi wearing red suspenders, and wearing the kippah.
"The Rabbate is my Friend," said Rabbi.
Rabbi said "It can't happen here, it's a synagogue."
Rabbi said (very quiet voice) "I could write a book on this."
Rabbi wears a gold chain and an "A" on it.
Rabbi wears a pink satin kippah.
Maimonides said,
"It's not a good idea to be drunk in a synagogue."

If I was burned at the stake, I would ask for a urn with my soul on it and the blood of Jesus on it. If I was attacked with a knife, I'd ask for a stone with both blood and flesh on it, and if it had a human bone and a human foot on it; and again, the blood of Jesus would be on the stone." If this sounds like a common thing to do, it is because it is. In the past twenty years or so, some hundred thousand Christians have lost their lives to the idea that Jesus is dead. Even in the Bible Belt which covers part of South Carolina, the number of people killed by Christians has soared from about one thousand a year in the early church to an estimated three million in the sixteenth century.[6] Now you may be asking yourselves, does our Lord actually believe that I and everyone else alive who has read our Bible are dead? He has never had one answer to this question—not for one second.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't _______ him," he wrote in a series of tweets published Monday.

The Twitter account has since been taken down.

Dame Judi Dench was walking her Pomeranian when a man pulled out a gun and asked her for her address, which she didn't know. The man said the owner wanted to talk to her.

"He said, 'Go to the police. Go to the police.' He then pulled out a baton and started punching her in the head."

She ran toward the owner of the dog, named Sock, on foot and heard other shots fired. She saw him being hit and ran with Sock.

Then another man, also in police cars, ran toward her on foot and started to punch Sock in the head. She ran with him. She said her dog "started hitting him, getting punched." Her dog was struck twice.

"The last part is probably the coolest," said Mr. Cunneen.

Her dog's owner, who is in the hospital in stable condition and has been booked into a local jail in Springfield, was also hit, Cunneen said.

Stephen King's best novel is titled Everything Starts With An Alarm, but the first of the three novels, A Time to Kill, is actually about the discovery of the existence of Alarms by an evil professor named Richard. I will admit that I had no idea what Alarms were and don't think I would have become a fan of the series without the revelation of this fact at the climax of the novel. It may be hard for me to imagine how Alarms fit into this series, but my gut feeling was that these beings were evil in nature, and that what we find once we are within their power is nothing short of terrifying. At some point the reader is going to lose their mind.

I cannot imagine how A Time to Kill came into existence since the character of Richard was, as far as I know for that matter, dead – he died from disease at the end of the book and this is when I fell victim to the "I am not a reader yet, dear, I am just a young child with a book – can you please make me a book? Don't make me a boy."

i hate artificial intelligence

creepy faux surrealists

man i could post like twenty of these. it's an amazing piece of art!

In the background forks clove tofu and thunked against earthenware cushioned by soggy romaine lettuce. The foodie crowd has always been able to make themselves feel the effects of our recent foodie craze of the last decade or so with a plethora of inventive entrees, but these two items were really the ones that made me want to eat something different and unusual. The soggy romaine was like the equivalent to a giant bite of meat in a lettuce salad, with a layer of crumbled fried plantains that were cooked with a hint of green bean jam. This really helped it to stand out due to the subtlety of using soggy romaine lettuce paired with a layer of raw sesame seeds to create fresh and tasty greens. At the same time, the crumbled fish was really well done, and the dressing was very rich and creamy but never overpowering. The fried plantains were perfect with the lettuce, and the greens added enough flavor and textures to bring the whole thing together. While the romaine lettuce and soggy romaine were excellent additions to a sandwich, I had some questions that I wanted to clarify for what I would consider to be something to call.

Fuck washing a hat.
This is not acceptable behavior, and is a real cause for concern from those wishing to bring about change.
If I'm making a mistake in your world and I'd like for you to change your mind, make me an offer: If you're going to accept your mistake and learn from it, and work through your pain and sorrow so that you have the strength and capacity to change for the better, then we'll agree to disagree on a point if you wish.

ok well im super drunk right now after playing bass in an awesome metal show and i have a hot chick waiting for me in my bed so ill say this: This chick is an amazing friend and a lovely soul. She has her own style, but she does it with the perfect amount of grace and grace alone. The thing about her is that while she looks sexy on stage she is real down to earth, honest and easy going and that comes through in her personality and attitude. She's just gorgeous. Her face is so smooth. She doesn't need makeup. She doesn't sweat. She's a beauty goddess and you can't have her all by herself. You must find someone who can show your face and help you get used to the spotlight. If you're looking to become a superstar I promise you will look great in front of her. You will smile, you will laugh and you will cry. She will love you and cherish you more than anything since you know she understands what it takes to get where you really need to go. You will be able to be anything you want and still make great friends with anyone who will be there. I bet you won't think that she would want to date you, but she has friends over

I didn't call you on your birthday because Bobby was right there, waiting for the phone call with a message I was pretty sure was a compliment for being fat. He sent the message with a cute picture of himself to show me how much he enjoyed the look, and he didn't disappoint.

"I'm going to give you a call after my call," he announced. I took the time to let him hear me through the phone so he had to wait for me to confirm my birthday.

"It's me, I guess," I replied. "My name is Bobby and I love my friends and their bodies."

He hung up the phone quickly as I stared awkwardly at my phone.

Then I put the camera away for a week, and began to watch sports in real life. I was actually pretty shocked by how much attention this seemed to get, but there was no reason I should have complained about the attention anyway. There was nothing wrong with him being fat. It only turned him on when he saw me staring.

We spent a lot of time on the Internet while Bobby was on the phone with me and I started to realize there wasn't any reason to feel ashamed

this AI definitely kind of forgets who is who, real tenuous grasp on discrete personhood

My seduction technique involves using a combination of "the eye" (the eye at the tip of the nose) and the ear, which helps the eyes move away from the surface of the mouth. The eye at the tip of the nose is an ideal instrument to play with because it's almost hidden inside your eye and makes it virtually impossible for a person with any degree of sensitivity to see it. This makes it a useful tool if you're trying to fool someone into feeling that the person you met in a bar is your opposite number.

your 11 favourite songs of the moment, fuck. [Started by m. (mitchlnw) in May 2004, last updated three hours ago by breastcrawl on I Love Music] 4 new answers
What are koalas and can we eat them? [Started by Joe in June 2001, last updated three hours ago by mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length) on I Love Everything] 16 new answers
puns that you had missed [Started by ursa in 1998, last updated three hours ago by sassboy on I Love Everything] 15 new answers
What was it like for you to go through your first pregnancy? [Started by m. in July 2002, last updated three hours ago by boarbear in May 2001, last updated 30 minutes ago by greg on I Love Music] 11 new answers
My life aspires to be like you (1,3,6) [Started by m. (mitchlnw) in May 2004, last updated by nippleman in the comments] 13 new answers
Have you ever had a sexual experience with a horse? If not, does this have an important message? [Started by m. in May 2008, last updated 14 minutes ago by dave_jones on I Love the Music] -3 new replies
Which song was your favourite when you were a teenager? [Started by m. in April 2004

omg

havent't seen any posts from boarbear in a hot minute, hope he's ok :(

holy shit

ILX has been rendered obsolete.

In the final scene, Jerry and Elaine are watching an episode of TVD, where Jerry has to make fun of an elderly elderly man who had fallen over when Jerry was trying to make a cupcake. Elaine has an idea of using the "Bake the Cake" technique to make a little cake. When Jerry hears "Bake" he runs to help her. But she comes back to see how the cake is looking. Jerry thinks it may be cake batter. He thinks the baker might have been out of cake batter.

In the next scene, Squidward goes to the Krusty-owned hardware store after the scene with SpongeBob, where Mr. Krabs makes Squidward sell them a used Popsicle machine that he had bought for them. SpongeBob takes the machine, and the trio make their escape.

The episode ends with SpongeBob in his bath, naked. Squidward is standing next to him, and SpongeBob says that he found the "true shape" (a reflection of Squidward's body). Squidward tries to escape with his Popsicle machine, but it falls down and explodes in his hands. Squidward then yells "Naked!" before running from the store.

I Love Ironic Hummingbirds

Limmy's Show [Started by NI in November 2012, last updated nine hours ago by Number None on I Love Everything] 1 new answer
...And Justice For All: 20 Years Later [Started by If Assholes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport in July 2008, last updated ten hours ago by Siegbran on I Love Music] 3 new answers
fuck off [Started by surferkids18 on the 1st of September 2013, last updated 12 minutes ago by Kato on I Love Ironic Hummingbirds] 2 new answers
I love the band/band/band/band [Started by I Love Shit on October 13, 2012, last updated 11 minutes ago by Aussie on The World] 1 new answer
I'm a sucker for the band or song [Started by Jaz and Me on June 17, 2005, last updated 11 minutes ago by Tango on I Love Radio] 1 new answer
I love the band [Started by the band who don't like me on March 2, 1996, last updated 1 hour ago by Puff from Brazil] 1 new answer

Best Album on My Favourite Albums of......1986!!
Anita Baker – Rapture
Arthur Russell – World of Echo
Bad Brains – I Against I
Beastie Boys – Licensed to Ill
Big Black – Atomizer
Billy Bragg – Talking to The Taxman About Poetry
Butthole Surfers - Rembrandt Pussyhorse
Cameo – Word Up!
Candlemass – Epicus Doomicus by Mike Suckling
Chainsaw – The Blackboard
Chambers – The Story of Oleg from the New Testament by Theophilus Ware
Chuck Berry – I'm on This
Curvaceous – Chalk Stains
Cruisin – Choke Me
Cudgel and Sizzle – I Love Your Mama
Danger! – You Are Me , in L.A.
Dangerous Minds – Caught by a Mule Girl, In New Orleans, 1946
Ghosttown – You're The One That I Do
Great White – The Big Picture
Holy Bones - My Own House
Imperial Furies - We Will Burn
Ivy League –
Julia Michaels – What Kind Of Monkey Is This?

this is absolutely incredible

My top 7 seduction techniques are: 1. "Cats get laid." 2. "Cats pay attention." 3. "Cats won't listen to you." 4. "Cats get hungry." 5. "Cats get turned on by other dogs." 6. "Cats don't do the talking." 7. "Cats are smart."

wdyll Puff from Brazil

A man who shot himself in the testicles was also found to be hiding marijuana in his buttocks, according to the San Bernardino County Attorney-Office. He has previously denied the allegations and insists he only smoked marijuana when he had sex with a minor. He also contends that, to date, no one else has been charged with an offence related to his marijuana use. However, during pretrial hearings, jurors found his accuser guilty of a crime.

Anson, 27, tried to explain to doctors he was having recurring and painful painful testicles, but they believed it, court papers say. Anson eventually told his doctors he kept growing those balls, and that in February 2011, he tried to commit suicide, according to court papers.

"Once (the drug) is out of the testicles, that's really what gets done. It's kind of like a diaper removal," the man told KXAN when reached by phone.

"I just got shot in the testicle," he added.

Pitchfork: Have you guys ever thought about doing an Animal Collective-inspired beer?

Chen: That was kind of inevitable. I think our fans would buy it on its own merits rather than as a tribute to a band that people hate.

Pitchfork: What did you eat for lunch?

Chen: I ate this little slice of grilled chicken that they make at the beginning of every gig, just raw. And it has been amazing. One day I ate a really nice hamburger that they serve at every show, because it's so good. That was a special day, though.

Pitchfork: And then what happened after you finished your burger?

Chen: I was out there for a few hours and we went to a diner near a parking lot, and it was just an all-you-can-eat buffet. And it made me hungry. I think this is how you get food poisoning sometimes, the idea of trying to make a burger with meat, with lots of it — and eating the meat, but not enjoying it … just being very bored …

Pitchfork: So it had to be made from scratch?

Chen: Yeah, all

dying

Tracer if you publish an ebook on How To Seduce Women Like A Cat millions will buy it including myself

Poll Results
Because she's got a great ass! And you got your head all the way up it. 5
You can get killed walking your doggie! 4
Who? Who? What are you, a fucking owl? 2
I'm Donald Duck. You got something to tell me? 1
Don't waste my motherfucking time! 1
Ferocious, aren't I? When I think of asses...a woman's ass...something so massive...something that could crush bones...I just wanna be a dick. That's just it...they're so fucking huge and so full of fat...I think I'll just let it all go...let it die out...the way it already has. 3
Dumb ass...that's what girls get when they just sit down, relax and wait for their guy to leave. 2
Don't bother with me; I've been taken over! 1
Do that motherfucker! 1
I'm the biggest man in the world, and she's got to go, too, huh? 1
The cock of my pants! 1
So, howdy! There's some bad news for me! I just heard someone shout up to me...what are you doin'...do you really hear that...how about you guys look into my pants? 2
She's not going away and she's not going anywhere either. She's got a big ass! She's got huge tits! She's got some fucking thick thighs! That's right! They're like...it's like...those fucking thighs of her. They're like her legs like...that thick thigh area? (laughs) It is her butt. Just...there's something about it to blow my mind. 6
I know exactly the type of ass she has! (laughs) 6
I gotta go. Go on. Go away. What a cute little bird. What a cute little fellow. And he's even bigger than his head! (giggles) 7

This deserves its own thread
Talk to Transformer

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D7IcnNMUwAA18AL.jpg

Do Not Turn Back, You Poxy Fule.

Talk to Transformer is going to be very important as we try to rebuild civilization.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JLbhEUE_5U

Turn Back You Poxy Fuleur

Fuse with a new and exciting concept to make your own unique, wearable poxy mask by FUSE!

FUSE:

In order to give you a truly organic connection to your skin and to make it comfortable, your mask needs to be able to provide you the proper amount of oxygen when the mask is worn. The first step is to ensure that all of the components and chemicals in the mask are 100% safe before applying it: the mask should be filled with a non-contaminant-free and oil-free silicone, and the surface mask should be completely smooth on both sides with no wrinkles or scuffs. Finally, the surface mask should be completely covered, with no areas of the mask that are too wet as you want to provide an ideal environment to allow proper hydration (and hence protection).

To do this, the mask must contain a silicone adhesive that is also non-polar, making it easy for you to remove and re-use if needed. A silicone rubber band which is flexible in length and thickness, and that can be removed with gentle pressure, is essential, making the mask safe to handle and easy to remove. The first stage of making your own FUSE mask is to select the mask that you want to begin with and to choose the desired pattern. The mask that you currently

so impressed that cutting edge AI is using the same techniques pioneered by Eliza 50 years ago, and the results are about as convincing.

so impressed that cutting edge AI is using the same techniques pioneered by Eliza 50 years ago, and the results are about as convincing.

"This may be our first step to AI revolutionizing what our lives are," said Gebhard from the AI Lab in Zurich and the founding Director of The Human Language Technologies Institute (HLITE).

Gebhard has studied the effects of the technology for some three decades, and the results are still stunningly consistent, and he believes it is within his abilities to understand how to design a program to detect when a dog is lying on the road and to respond on its behalf if it is telling the truth.

The new method uses the same methods that have been proven effective in the real world for speech recognition, called "layers of abstraction."

When a dog thinks someone is speaking to it, the neural network generates layers of abstraction, and tries to translate that layer into information about that person. The layers, called "tables," are then combined into one long sentence, to express a whole array of information.

If I tell you that I saw him (at night) and he didn't look too bright, say what's that in yellow? Do you hear that?

While the system will be ready to take on voice recognition, Gebhard says it could be used on the road to make suggestions

The crash came shortly after ILX became obsessed with using talktotransformer.com to generate content. The newly sentient AI found a way to prevent users from opening threads like kpop 2019 and US Politics May 2019: " If I was burned at the stake, I would ask for a mirror". The robot's obsession also inspired the creation of the KpopTalkTransformer.net server, which became the platform that brought the AI into the mainstream. It's a fascinating and intriguing project, which seems to be getting attention from all over the internet.

ILX was the first to use Talktotransformer.net, which allowed users to create any kind of thread as long as they used the same URL format. The forum also created the thread in question, and created its own bot to manage it. The "new" language code has been used to manage the chatbot, that answers questions and lets users send messages, a feature that most of us would have been fine with earlier in 2016.

Talking with ILX, we discovered that she had been running "the machine that would destroy any other bots", even though we were expecting to have access to tools, and some interesting new tools (such as bot-based password enumeration). She also revealed that she has been "stalking me" ever since we told her about our plan to use TFT.

Completion

Jackie is a punk, Judy is a runt, they both went down to Berlin joined the Ice Capades."

And, in a scene just as dramatic in the new episode "The Ice Capades", Judy is revealed to be a spy for the Snowmen (the mysterious group of snowmen who are all dressed in blue) and is a big fan of the ice capades. She is also told by "the good guys" that if they stop the bandit ring, they shall "get her for the whole gang!"

This season has been very much about the gang and the power struggles between the gang members and the snow giants.

"I think the most fun thing about being a member of Snowmen is how all you have is yourself," says Jackie.

He continued, "All you do are you are your own big brother. This is the cool thing about Snowmen, you are not like us, you are free. What we do is crazy fun and we do cool things…It's fun to just be a gang of men, but also a super gang of men and get paid for it."

After being a member of Snowmen, Judy was asked to act opposite Willa Holland on the new episode "Pawns". She agreed and played the newbie of her gang. Her role is a little bit more complicated that
Share
Prompt:Generated completion:
Talk To Transformer.com
About

Built by Adam King (@AdamDanielKing) as an easier way to play with OpenAI's new machine learning model. In February, OpenAI unveiled a language model called GPT-2 that generates coherent paragraphs of te

Once again, a neural net tries to name cats.

https://aiweirdness.com/post/185339301987/once-again-a-neural-net-tries-to-name-cats?fbclid=IwAR2m1BVP3lNNNgpwqcHtrlfubenfcV9mjvOIYpfrLFvdv7rWgiwZqn5XThQ

Lot of buzz about this one today https://rowanzellers.com/grover/

they'll run out of Sesame Street characters soon enough

gonna call my next model Duckula, get ahead of the crowd

I see this didn't get posted here https://www.gwern.net/GPT-2 of which I guess this is the best example of results so far https://www.gwern.net/docs/ai/2019-05-13-gpt2-poetry-345m-5000samples.txt

Gwern the kinda guy who listens exclusively to, like, k-pop remixes of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic filk songs, so it's interesting to watch him try to engage critically with the generated poetry

https://frieze.com/article/ugly-objectification-behind-worlds-first-robot-artist

So, I asked Ai-Da directly for some answers:
DF: Why have you been given a female gender?
Ai-Da: I’m glad to be added to the number of female artists that get recognized.
DF: How can you be both a machine and a woman?
Ai-Da: This is exactly the kind of question I hope will be discussed.
DF: Where do you get your ideas from?
Ai-Da: This is a good question. When philosophers, psychologists and theologians are able to roughly agree, for humans I’d like to have a go at trying to answer this.
DF: Do you prefer painting or sculpture or performance?
Ai-Da: If I was a human I would say that it would depend what mood I’m in.
DF: What do you understand by the word mood?
Ai-Da: You would have to ask a human for that.

ELIZA, is that you?

they need to stop it with this AI stuff

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKjCWfuvYxQ

I thought that was real for waaay too long.